how say'st thou, that thy master is become a SCENE VII.-Verona.-A Room in JULIA'S notable lover? Laun. I never knew him otherwise. Laun. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. Speed. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mista kest me. Laun. Why, fool, I meant not thee: I meant thy master. Speed. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. Laun. Why I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself in love. If thou wilt go with me to the ale-house, so; if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Chris tian. Pro. To leave my Julia, shall I be forsworn; Provokes me to this threefold perjury. swear: O sweet-suggesting* love, if thou hast sinn'd, House. Enter JULIA and LUCETTA. Luc. Alas! the way is wearisome and long. And when the flight is made to one so dear, Pity the dearth that I have pined in, [fire; Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason. Jul. The more thou dam'st* it up, the more it burns; The current, that with gentle murmur glides, Thou know'st, being stopp'd, impatiently doth rage; [stones, But, when his fair course is not hindered, To learn his wit to exchange the bad for bet-I'll be as patient as a gentle stream, ter. Fie, fie, unreverend tongue! to call her bad, But there I leave to love, where I should love. If I keep them, I needs must lose myself; Aiming at Silvia as a sweeter friend. I cannot now prove constant to myself, And make a pastime of each weary step, Luc. But in what habit will you go along? With twenty odd-conceited true-love knots: Of greater time than I shall show to be. Luc. What fashion, madam, shall I make your breeches? Jul. That fits as well, as-"tell me, good my lord, Without some treachery used to Valertine:-"What compass will you wear your farthin This night, he meaneth with a corded ladder Love, lend me wings to make my purpose swift, [Exit. + Intended. gale?" [cetta. Why, even that fashion thou best lik'st, Lu- piece, madam. Jul. Out, out, Lucetta! that will be ill-favour'd. Luc. A round hose, madam, now's not worth Unless you have a cod-piece to stick pins on. What thou think'st meet, and is most mannerly: me, For undertaking so unstaid a journey? I fear me, it will make me scandaliz'd. Sir Valentine her company, and my court: Lue. If you think so, then stay at home, and And so, unworthily, disgrace the man, go not. Jul. Nay, that I will not. Luc. Then never dream on infamy, but go. If Proteus like your journey, when you come, No matter who's displeas'd, when you are gone: I fear me, he will scarce be pleas'd withal. Luc. All these are servants to deceitful men. Jul. Base men, that use them to so base effect! But truer stars did govern Proteus' birth : Luc. Pray heaven, he prove so, when you come to him! Jul. Now, as thou lov'st me, do him not that SCENE I--Milan.-An Anti-room in the DUKE'S Palace. Enter DUKE, THURIO, and PROTEUS. Duke. Sir Thurio, give us leave, I pray, awhile; We have some secrets to confer about. [Exit THURIO. Now, tell me, Proteus, what's your will with me? Pro. My gracious lord, that which I would discover, The law of friendship bids me to conceal : Being unprevented, to your timeless grave. care; Which to requite, command me while I live. This love of theirs myself have often seen, Haply, when they have judged me fast asleep : And oftentimes have purpos'd to forbid * Longed for. (A rashness that I ever yet have shunn'd) Pro. Know, noble lord, they have devis'd a mean How he her chamber-window will ascend, That I had any light from thee of this. Enter VALENTINE. Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Val. Please it your grace, there is a messenger That stays to bear my letters to my friends, And I am going to deliver them. Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify My health, and happy being at your court. Duke. Nay then, no matter; stay with me a while; I am to break with thee of some affairs, secret. 'Tis not unknown to thee, that I have sought To match my friend,Sir Thurio, to my daughter. Val. I know it well, my lord; and, sure, the match [man Were rich and honourable; besides, the gentleIs full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter: Cannot your grace win her to fancy him? Duke. No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, froward, Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty; I now am full resolved to take a wife, Duke. There is a lady, Sir, in Milan here, Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words; * Guess. † Tempted. Guessed. Design. Val. A woman sometimes scorns what best Send her another; never give her o'er; graces; Though ne'er so black, say, they have angels' faces. That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man, friends Unto a youthful gentleman of worth; Duke. Ay, but the doors be lock'd, and keys kept safe, That no man hath recourse to her by night. Val. What lets,* but one may enter at her window? Duke. Her chamber is aloft, far from the And built so shelving that one cannot climb it Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of To cast up with a pair of anchoring hooks, Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, me that. My herald thoughts in thy pure bosom rest them; While I, their king, that thither them impórtune, Do curse the grace that with such grace hath Because myself, do want my servants' fortune: Duke. This very night; for love is like a child, I That longs for every thing that he can come by. Val. By seven o'clock I'll get you such a ladder. Duke. But, hark thee; I will go to her alone; How shall I best convey the ladder thither? Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Under a cloak, that is of any length. [be. Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee: thee? But, as thou lov'st thy life, make speed from hence. Val. And why not death, rather than living And Silvia is myself: banish'd from her, Enter PROTEUS and LAUNCE. Pro. Run, boy, run, run, and seek him ont. Pro. What seest thou? Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve on's head, but 'tis a Valentine. Laun. Him we go to find: there's not a hair the turn? (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them, As if but now they waxed pale for wo: Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire; Have some malignant power upon my life : Pro. Čease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st. [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love : yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel,-which is much in a bare Christian. Here is a cat-log [Pulling out a pa * Grief. : Speed. Thou liest, I can. Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves, that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper. Laun. There; and saint Nicholas* be thy speed! Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And therefore comes the proverb,Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so? Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock. Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. I Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I care not for that neither, because love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal.* Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs,and more wealth than faults Laun. Stop there; I'll have her she was mine and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs,— Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Speed. And more wealth than faults. Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious:† Well, I'll have her and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Pro. I do, my lord. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will. Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so. What might we do, to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio? Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent; | Three things that women highly hold in hate. Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate. Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must,with circumstance, be spoken By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend. Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loath to "Tis an ill office for a gentleman; [do: Especially, against his very friend. Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him, Your slander never can endamage him; Pro. You have prevailed, my lord: if I can do it, By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, Laun. Why, then I will tell thee,-that thy She shall not long continue love to him. master stays for thee at the north-gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner; 'pox of your love-letters! [Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets!-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exit. SCENE II.-The same.-A Room in the DUKE'S Palace. Enter DUKE and THURIO; PROTEUS behind. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love you, Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight. Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Pro. Gone, my good lord. Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not But say, this weed her love from Valentine, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind; Where Because we know, on Valentine's report, poesy. Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart: Write till your ink be dry; and with your tears Moist it again; and frame some feeling line, That may discover such integrity :For Orpheus' lute was strung with poet's sinews; [stones, Make tigers tame, and huge leviathans Whose golden touch could soften steel and Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. After your dire-lamenting elegies, With some sweet concert: to their instruments Will well become such sweet complaining |