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Sir To. O, for a stone-bow, to hit him in the eye! | Sir To. And with what wing the stannyel 7 checks
Mal. Calling my officers about me, in my branched at it! 8 velvet gown ; having come from a day-bed, where I Mal. I may command where I adore. Why, she lett Olivia sleeping
may command me; I serve her, she is my lady. Sir To. Fire and brimstone !
Why, this is evident to any formal capacity. There Fab. O, peace, peace!
is no obstruction in this; And the end, What Mal. And then to have the humour of state : and should that alphabetical position portend? If I after a demure travel of regard, -- telling them, I could make that resemble something in me, know my place, as I would they should do theirs,— Softly! - M, 0, A, 1. — to ask for my kinsman Toby:
Sir To. O, ay! make up that: – he is now at a Sir To. Bolts and shackles !
cold scent. Fab. O, peace, peace, peace! now, now.
Fab. Sowter 9 will cry upon't for all this, though Mal. Seven of my people, with an obedient start, it be as rank as a fox. make out for him: I frown the while; and, per- Mal. M, - Malvolio ; — M, — why, that begins chance, wind up my watch, or play with some rich my name. jewel. Toby approaches; court'sies there to me: Fab. Did nat I say, he would work it out? the Sir To. Shall this fellow live?
cur is excellent at faults. Fab. Though our silence be drawn from us with Mal. M,— But then there is no consonancy in cars, yet peace.
the sequel : that suffers under probation : A should Mal. I extend my hand to him thus, quenching follow, but does. my familiar smile with an austere regard of control : Fab. And 0 shall end, I hope.
Sir To. And does not Toby take you a blow o'the Sir To. Ay, or I'll cudgel him, and make him iips then?
Mal. Saying, Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast Mal. And then I comes behind; me on your niece, give me this prerogative of speech : Fab. Ay, an you had any eye behind you, you Sir To. What, what?
might see more detraction at your heels, than forMal. You must amend your drunkenness. tunes before you. Sir To. Out, scab !
Mal. M, 0, A, I;- This simulation is not as the Fab. Nay, patience, or we break the sinews of former :- and yet, to crush this a little, it would our plot.
bow to me, for every one of these letters are in my Mal. Besides, you waste the treasure of your time name. Soft; here follows prose. — If this fall into with a foolish knight ;
thy hand, revolve. In my stars I am above thee ; Sir And. That's me, I warrant youi.
but be not afraid of greatness : Some are born great, Mal. One Sir Andrew :
some achieve greatness, and some have greatness Sir And. I knew, 'twas I; for many do call me fool. thrust upon them. Thy fates open their hands ; let Mal. What employment have we here?
thy blood and spirit embrace them. And, to inure
[Taking up the letter. thyself to what thou art like to be, cast thy humble Fab. Now is the woodcock near the gin. slough', and appear fresh. Be opposite with a
Sir To. O, peace and the spirit of humours in- kinsman, surly with servants : let thy tongue tang timate reading aloud to him!
arguments of state ; put thyself into the trick of Mal. By my life, this is my lady's hand: these singularity : she thus advises thee, that sighs for be her very P's her U's and her T's, and thus makes thee. Remember who commended thy yellow stockshe her great C's. It is, in contempt of question, ings; and wished to see thee ever cross-gartered : I her hand.
say, remember. Go to; thou art made, if thou Sir And. Her P's, her U's, and her T's: Why that? desirest to be so; if not, let me see thee a steward Mal. [Reads. To the unknown beloved, this
, and still, the fellow of servants
, and not worthy to touch my good wishes : her very phrases ! - By your leave, fortune's fingers. Farewell. She that would alter
Soft! — and the impressure her Lucrece, services with thee, The fortunate-unhappy.. with which she uses to seal : 'tis my lady: To whom Day-light and champian ? discovers not more: this should this be?
is open. I will be proud, I will read politick Fab. This wins him, liver and all.
authors, I will baffle Sir Toby, I will wash off gross Mal. [Reads.] Jove knows, I love:
acquaintance, I will be point-de-vices, the very But who?
man. I do not now fool myself, to let imagination Lips do not move,
jade me ; for every reason excites to this, that my No man must know.
lady loves me. She did commend my yellow No man must know. - What follows? the numbers stockings of late, she did praise my leg being crossaltered !
- No man must know : - If this should be gartered; and in this she manifests herself to my thee, Malvolio ?
love, and, with a kind of injunction, drives me to Sir To. Marry, hang thee, brock! 6.
these habits of her liking. I thank my stars, I am Mal. I may command, where I adore :
happy. I will be strange, stout, in yellow stockBut silence, like a Lucrece knife, ings, and cross-gartered, even with the swiftness of With bloodless stroke my heart doth gore ; putting on. Jove, and my stars be praised ! M, O, A, I, doth sway my life.
Here is yet a postscript. Thou canst not choose but Fab. A fustian riddle!
know who I am. If thou entertainest my love, let it Sir To. Excellent wench, say I.
appear in thy smiling; thy smiles become thee well : Mal. M, O, A, I, doth sway my life. — Nay, but therefore in my presence still smile, dear my sweet, first, let me see, - let me see, — let me see. I pr'ythee. Jove, I thank thee. – I will smile; Í Fab. What a dish of poison has she d essed him! will do every thing that thou wilt have me. (Exit.
8 Flys at it. 6 Badger
2 Open country,
9 Name of a honnd,
Fub. I will not give my part of this sport for a that, when the image of it leaves him, he must run pension of thousands to be paid from the Sophy. mad.
Sir To. I could marry this wench for this device. Mar. Nay, but say true; does it work upon him? Sir And. So could I too.
Sir To. Like aqua vitæ. Sir To. And ask no other dowry with her, but Mar. If you will then see the fruits of the sport, such another jest.
mark his first approach before my lady: he will
come to her in yellow stockings, and 'tis a colour Enter MARIA.
she abhors; and cross-gartered, a fashion she deSir And. Nor I neither.
tests; and he will smile upon her, which will now Fab. Here comes my noble gull-catcher. be so unsuitable to her disposition, being addieted Sir To. Wilt thou set thy foot o'my neck ? to a melancholy as she is, that it cannot but turn Sir And. Or o'mine either ?
him into a notable contempt : if you will see it, Sir To. Shall I play my freedom at tray-trip 4, follow me. and become thy bond slave?
Sir To. To the gates of Tartar, thou most excelSir And. I'faith, or I either.
lent"devil of wit! Sir To. Why, thou hast put him in such a dream, Sir And. I'll make one too.
SCENE I. - Olivia's Garden.
And, like the haggard ’, check at every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practice, Enter Viola, and Clown with a tabor. As full of labour as a wise man's art : Vio. Save thee, friend, and thy musick: Dost For folly, that he wisely shows, is fit; thou live by thy tabor ?
But wise men, folly-fallen, quite taint their wit. Clo. No, sir, I live by the church.
Enter Sir 'TOBY Belch and Sir ANDREW AGCEVio. Art thou a churchman? Clo. No such matter, sir ; I do live by the church :
Sir To. Save you, gentleman. for I do live at my house, and my house doth stand
Vio. And you, sir. by the church.
Sir And. Dieu vous garde, monsicur. Vio. So thou may'st say, the king lies 5 by a
Vio. Et vous aussi ; votre serviteur. beggar, if a beggar dwell near him: or, the church
Sir And. I hope, sir, you are ; and I am yours. stands by thy tabor, if thy tabor stand by the church.
Sir To. Will you encounter the house ? my niece Clo. You have said, sir. - To see this age!A
is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her. sentence is but a cheveril 6 glove to a good wit ; How quickly the wrong side may be turned out- is the list 8 of my voyage.
Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir ; I mean, she ward!
Sir To. Taste your legs, sir, put them to motion. Vio. I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and carest for nothing.
Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, than Clo. Not so, sir, I do care for something: but in I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my conscience, sir, I do not care for you ; if that be my legs. to care for nothing, sir, I would it would make you
Sir To. I mean, to go, sir, to enter. invisible.
Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance :
But we are prevented.
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA. she will keep no fool, sir, till she be married ; and Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain fools are as like husbands as pilchards are to herrings, odours on you! the husband's the bigger; I am, indeed, not her
Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier! Rain fool, but her corrupter of words.
odours ! well. Vio. I saw thee late at the count Orsino's.
Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your Clo. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb, like
own most pregnant 9 and vouchsafed ear, the sun; it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master, as I'll get 'em all three ready.
Sir And. Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed :with my mistress : I think, I saw your wisdom there.
Oli. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me Vio. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee. Hold, there's expences for thee. Is thy
to my hearing
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir ANDREW, and Maria. lady within ?
Give me your hand, sir. Clo. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to
Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble service. her whence you come : who you are, and what you
Oli. What is your name? would, are out of my welkin: I might say, element; but the word is over-worn.
Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.
[Erit. Vio. This fellow's wise enough to play the fool; Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment :
Oli. My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world, And, to do that well, craves a kind of wit.
You are servant to the count Orsino, youth. He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours. The quality of persons, and the time;
Your servant's servant is your servant, madam. * A boy's diversion, three and trip.
? A hawk not well trained. 8 Bound, limit 5 Dwelis.
Oli. For him, I think not on him : for his thoughts, 'Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me! SCENE II. - A Room in Olivia's House.
Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts On his behalf :
Enter Sir Toby Belch, Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, Oli. 0, by your leave, I pray you;
and FABIAN. I bade you never speak again of him:
Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer. But, would you undertake another suit,
Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason. I had rather hear you to solicit that,
Fab. You must needs yield your reason, sir AnThan musick from the spheres.
Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more favours Oli. Give me leave, I beseech you : I did send,
to the count's serving man, than ever she bestowed After the last enchantment you did here,
upon me: I saw't i'the orchard. A ring in chase of you : so did I abuse
Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you :
me that. Under your hard construction must I sit,
Sir And. As plain as I see you now. To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,
Fab. This was a great argument of love in her Which you knew none of yours: What might you toward you. think?
Sir Aud. 'Slight! will you make an ass o' me? Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts
of judgment and reason. That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men, receiving
since before Noah was a sailor. Enough is shown; a cyprus, not a bosom,
Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your Hides my poor heart : So let me hear you speak.
sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dorVio. I pity you.
mouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimOli. That's a degree to love.
stone in your liver: You should then have accosted Vio. No, not a grise ?; for 'tis a vulgar proof,
her; and with some excellent jests, fire-new from That very oft we pity enemies.
the mint, you should have banged the youth into Oli. Wly, then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again ; dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and 0, world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
this was baulked: the double gilt of this opporIf one should be a prey, how much the better
tunity you let time wash off, and you are now To fall before the lion, than the wolf? (Clock strikes. sailed into the north of my lady's opinion ; where The clock upbraids me with the waste of time,
you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you :
unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest, either of valour, or policy. Your wife is like to reap a proper man :
Sir And. And't be any way, it must be with There lies your way, due west.
valour; for policy I hate : I had as lief be a Vio.
Then westward-loe: Brownist 3, as a politician. Grace, and good disposition 'tend your ladyship!
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
the basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth Oli. Stay :
to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places; my I pr’ythee, tell me, what thou think'st of me.
niece shall take note of it: and assure thyself, there Vio
. That you do think, you are not what you are. is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in Oli. If I think so, I think the same of you.
man's commendation with woman, than report of Vio. Then think you right; I am not what I am.
valour. Oli. I would you were as I would have you be !
Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew. Vio. Would it be better, madam, than I am,
Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge I wish it might; for now I am your fool.
to him? Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst 4 In the contempt and anger of his lip!
and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloA murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon Than love that would seem hid : love's night is noon.
quent, and full of invention : taunt him with the
licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing, I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big
enough for the bed of Ware 5 in England, set 'em Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide.
down; go, about it. Let there be gall enough in Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
thy ink: though thou write with a goose-pen, no For, that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause :
matter : About it. But, rather, reason thus with reason fetter:
Sir And. Where shall I find you ? Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.
Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo 6: Go. Vio. By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
[Exit Sir ANDREW. I have one hcart, one bosom, and one truth,
Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby. And that no woman has ; nor never none
Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad ; some two Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
thousand strong, or so. And so adieu, good madam; never more
Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him : but Will I my master's tears to you deplore.
you'll not deliver it ? Oli. Yet come again: for thou, perhaps, may'st move
Sir To. Never trust me then ; and by all means That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
6 Chamber. 1 Ready apprehension.
5 In Hertfordshire, which held forty persons.
stir on the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and For which, if I be lapsed 7 in this place,
Do not then walk too open. his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the Ant. It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my rest of the anatomy.
purse ; Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, visage no great presage of cruelty.
Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our dict.
Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your knowEnter Maria.
ledge, Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine with viewing of the town; there shall you have me.
Seb. Why I your purse ? Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh
Ant. Haply, your eye shall light upon some toy yourselves into stitches, follow me : yon' gull Mal- You have desire to purchase; and your store, volio is in yellow stockings.
I think, is not for idle markets, sir. Sir To. And cross-gartered ?
Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for Mar. Most villainously; like a pedant that keeps
An hour. a school i'the church. - I have dogged him, like
Ant. To the Elephant. his murderer : He does obey every point of the
I do remember. letter that I dropped to betray him. He does
[Ereunt. smile his face into more lines, than are in the new
SCEXE IV. - Olivia's Garden map, with the augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a thing as 'tis; I can hardly
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA. forbear hurling things at him. I know, my lady Oli. I have sent after him : He says, he'll come; will strike him ; if she do, he'll smile, and take't How shall I feast him ? what bestow on him ? for a great favour.
For youth is bought more oft, than begg'd, or bor, Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is.
Where is Malvolio ? — he is sad, and civil,
And suits well for a servant with my fortunes;
Where is Malvolio ?
He's coming, madam ; Seb. I would not, by my will, have troubled you ; | But in strange manner. He is sure possess'd. But, since you make your pleasure of your pains, Oli. Why, what's the matter ? does he rave ? I will no further chide you.
No, madam, Ant. I could not stay behind you; my desire,
He does nothing but smile; your ladyship More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth : Were best have guard about you if lie come ; And not all love to see you, (though so much, For, sure, the man is tainted in his wits. As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,) Oli. Go call him hither. I'm as mad as he, But jealousy what might befall your travel, If sad and merry madness equal be. Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger, Unguided, and unfriended, often prove
Enter MalvoLIO. Rough and unhospitable: My willing love,
How now, Malvolio? The rather by these arguments of fear,
Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho. [Smiles fantasticallsz. Set forth in your pursuit.
Oli. Smil'st thou ?
I sent for thee uron a sad 8 occasion.
Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad: This does And thanks, and ever thanks : Often good turns
make some obstruction in the blood, this cross-garAre shuffled off with such uncurrent pay :
tering : But what of that, if it please the eye of But, were my worth, as is my conscience, firm, one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is : Please You should find better dealing. What's to do? one, and please all. Shall we go see the reliques of this town?
Oli. Why, how dost thou, man ? what is the Ant. To-morrow, sir; best, first, go see your matter with thee? lodging.
Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night;
my legs: It did come to his hands, and commands I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes
shall be executed. I think, we do know the sweet With the memorials, and the things of fame,
Roman hand. That do renown this city.
Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? Ant. 'Would you'd pardon me;
Mal. To bed? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come I do not without danger walk these streets :
to thee. Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the Count his gallies, Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, I did some service; of such note, indeed,
and kiss thy hand so oft ? That, were I ta'en here, it would scarce be answer'd. Mar. How do you, Malvolio?
Seb. Belike, you slew great number of his people. Mal. At your request ? Yes; Nightingales anAnt. The offence is not of such a bloody nature ; swer daws. Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel,
Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous bold. Might well have given us bloody argument.
ness before my lady? It might have since been answer'd in repaying Mal. Be not afraid of greatness : 'Twas well writ. What we took from them; which for traffick's sake Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio? Most of our city did: only myself stood out :
Mal. Some are born great, –
Mal. How now, mistress ? Oli. Ha?
Mar. O lord ! Mal. Some achieve greatness,
Sir To. Pr’ythee, hold thy peace: this is not the Oli. What say'st thou ?
way: Do you not see, you move him ? let me alone Mal. And some have greatness thrust upon them. with him. Oli. Heaven restore thee !
Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the Mal. Remember who commended thy yellow stock- fiend is rough, and will not be roughly used. ings;
Sir To. Why how now, my bawcock ? ' how dost Oli. Thy yellow stockings ?
thou, chuck ? Mal. And wished to see thee cross-gartered.
Mal. Sir? Oli. Cross-gartered ?
Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! Mal. Go to : thou art made, if thou desirest to be | 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit ? with Satan;
Hang him, foul collier ! Oli. Am I made ?
Mal. Go hang yourselves all! you are idle shalMal. If not, let me see thee a servant still. low things : I am not of your element; you shall Oli. Why, this is very midsummer madness. know more hereafter.
(Exit. Sir To. Is't possible ? Enter Servant.
Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I Serv. Madam, the young gentleman of the count could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Orsino's is returned ; I could hardly entreat him Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection back: he attends your ladyship’s pleasure.
of the device, man. Oli. I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.] Good Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my air, and taint. cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed. care of him ; I would not have him miscarry for the Mar. The house will be the quieter. half of my dowry. (Exeunt Olivia and Makia. Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room,
Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no and bound. My niece is already in the belief that worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This con- he is mad; we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, curs directly with the letter: she sends him on and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him ; for breath, prompt us to have mercy on him : at which she incites me to that in the letter. Cast thy hum- time, we will bring the device to the bar, and crown ble slough, says she : be opposite with a kinsman, thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. surly with servants, — let thy tongue tang with ar
Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. guments of state, — put thyself into the trick of singularity; -and, consequently, sets down the
Fab. More matter for a May morning. manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a
Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I warrant, slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and there's vinegar and pepper in't. so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's doing,
Fab. Is't so sawcy? and Jove make me thankful! And, when she went Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him; do but read.
Sir To. Give me. away now, Let this fellow be looked to : Fellow ! 9
[Reads.] Youth, whatsoever not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. thou arl, thou art but a scurvy fellow. Why, every thing adheres together ; that no dram
Fab. Good and valiant. of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle,
Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance, What why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason can be said ? Nothing, that can be, can come be- for’t. tween me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. of the law.
Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby Belch, and sight she uses thee kindly : but thou liest in thy throat, FABIAX.
that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity ?
Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense--less. I'll speak to him.
Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home ; where if it Fab. Here he is, here he is :
How is't with you,
be thy chance to kill me, sir ? how is't with you, man ?
Fab. Good. Mal. Go off; I discard you, let me enjoy my
Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. private; go oft:
Fab. Still you keep o'the windy side of the law : Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within Good. him! did not I tell you ? — Sir Toby, my lady prays
Sir To. Fare thee well: And God have mercy you to have a care of him.
upon one of our souls ! He may have mercy upon Mal. Ah, ha! does she so ?
mine ; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy. deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you,
ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man ! defy the
Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs candevil : consider he's an enemy to mankind.
not: I'll giv't him. Mal. Do you know what you say?
Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how is now in some commerce with my lady, and will he takes it at heart! Pray heaven, he be not be by and by depart. witched! My lady would not lose him for more Sir To Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at than I'll say.
the corner of the orchard, like a bailiff: so soon as 9 Companion.
Jolly cock, beau and coq. 2 A play among boys.