DEAN SWIFT.

Voltair related to Mr. Sherlock an anecdote of Swift. Lady Cateret, wife of the lord lieutenant, said to Swift-" The air of Ireland is very excellent and healthy." "For God's sake, madam," said Swift, falling down on his knees before her, " don't say so in England; for, if

Your argument's weak, and so you will find,

For you, by this rule, must adore all mankind."

Swift, in his lunacy, had lucid intervals. In one of them, he was taken to Dublin park for the air. He there remarked a new building, and was told it was a magazine for arms and powder,

Swift having dined with a rich miser, pronouced the following grace, after dinner.

"Thanks for this miracle-it is no less Than finding manna in the wilderness. In midst of famine we have found relief, And seen the wonder of a chine of beef: Chimneys have smok'd that never smok'd before;

And we have dined where we shall dine no more.

He said that a man of wit is not incapable of business, but above it. A sprightly generous horse is able to carry a packsaddle as well as an ass, but he is too good to be put to the drudgery. Sterne is said to have expressed the same excellent sentiment to the duke of Newcastle; but its originality rests with Swift.

There scarcely ever was a finer compliment paid to a lady, than that which was addressed, by dean Swift, to a wife who was always praising her husband.

“You always are making a god of your

spouse,

But that neither reason nor conscience

allows;

Perhaps you may think 'tis in gratitude due,

And you adore him, because he adores you.

66 O," said the dean, " let me take an item of this." He then wrote the following lines— "Behold a proof of Irish sense; Here Irish wit is seenWhen nothing's left that's worth defence, We build a magazine."

And then put up his pocket-book, laughing heartily at the conceit, and finishing it with these words "After the steed is stolen, shut the stable door."

This was the last effort of his expiring wit.

THE LATE SIR WILLIAM HERSCHEL.

The accounts of this celebrated individual, which have found their way into the papers and magazines since his death, are in many respects very inaccurate, The following has been furnished by a gentleman well acquainted with sir William and his family, and its accuracy may be relied

on :

"Sir William Herschel was born in November, 1738; his father being a musician, brought up his four sons, of whom sir William was the second, to the same profession, and placed him, at the age of fourteen, in the

band of the Hanoverian foot guards. Unable, however, long to endure the drudgery of such a situation, and conscious of superior proficiency in his art, he determined on quitting the regiment, and seeking his fortune in England, where he arrived about the end of the year 1757. After struggling with great difficulties in London, he was engaged by the earl of Darlington, to superintend and instruct a military band then forming by that nobleman, in the county of Durham, and the opening thus afforded contributed so far to increase his reputation and connections, as to induce him to spend several years after the termination of this engagement in the neighbourhood of Leeds, Pontefract, Doncaster, &c. where he had many scholars, and led the public concerts, oratorios, &c.

"In 1766 he was chosen organist at Halifax, a situation he soon after resigned for the more advantageous one of organist at the Octagon chapel at Bath. In this great and gay resort of fashion, his extraordinary musical talents procured him ample employment; and the direction of the public concerts, and his private teaching produced him a considerable income.

"But, though fond, to enthusiasm, of his profession, his ardent thirst for knowledge had begun, for some time past, to open a nobler field to his exertions. While at Halifax, he had commenced a course of mathematical reading, and in spite of the difficulty of such studies, acquired without assistance a considerable familiarity with the principles both of pure and ap

plied mathematics. The sublime views disclosed by the modern astronomers had powerfully attracted his attention; and when he read of the noble discoveries made by the telescope, he was seized with an irresistible desire to see, with his own eyes, the wonders he read of. Fortunately, the price of an instrument capable of satisfying his curiosity was beyond his means, and he resolved to attempt the construction of one for himself. In this arduous task, after encountering endless difficulties, he succeeded, and, in 1774, first saw Saturn in a five feet reflecting telescope, made by his own hands. Encouraged by this success, he now attempted larger telescopes, and soon completed a seven, a ten, and a twenty feet reflector, labouring with such obstinacy as to have actually finished no less than two hundred object mirrors before he could satisfy himself with the performance of one.

"Astronomy now occupied so much of his attention, that he began to limit his professional engagements, and restrict the number of his scholars.

"About the latter end of 1779, he commenced a regular review of the heavens, star by star, with a seven feet reflector, and having already continued this upwards of eighteen months, he was at length rewarded, on the thirteenth of March, 1781, with the discovery of a new primary planet, to which he afterwards gave the name of Georgium Sidus, now more generally distinguished by that of Uranus.

"In consequence of this memorable discovery, the attention of the scientific world became fixed upon him; and his late

majesty, with a promptitude of liberality which must ever be recorded to his honour as a patron of science, enabled him, by the settlement of a handsome salary, to discontinue his professional exertions, and devote the remainder of his life wholly to astronomy. In consequence of this arrangement, Herschel im-, mediately quitted Bath, and took up his residence at Datchet, in the neighbourhood of Windsor, where he was no sooner established than he entered on a career of discovery unexampled, perhaps, in the history of science. Having removed to Slough, he commenced the erection of a telescope of yet larger dimensions than any before attempted, which he completed in 1787, and aided by this stupendous instrument, and others of hardly inferior power, extended his researches to every part of the heavens-penetrating into regions of space, of a remoteness eluding calculation and developing views of the construction of our own system and the universe, of a daring sublimity, hardly more surprising than the strictness of the induction on which they

rest.

"In these observations and the laborious calculations into which they led, he was assisted throughout by his excellent sister, Miss Caroline Herschel, whose indefatigable and unhesitating devotion in the performance of a task usually deemed incompatible with female habits, surpasses all eulogium. It is not our task to trace the progress of these discoveries, which were communicated, as they arose, to the royal society, and form an important part of the published transactions

of that learned body from the year 1782 to 1818.

"In 17-be married Mary, widow of the late John Pitt, esq. and the accession of domestic happiness he experienced from this union, while it testified the justice of his choice, contributed powerfully to cherish that calm tranquillity of mind which is the native element of contemplative philosophy, and the soil from which its shoots rise most vigorous and most secure.

"In 1816, his present majesty was graciously pleased to confer on him the decorations of the Guelphic order of knighthood.→ His astronomical observations were continued within a few years of his death, till his declining strength, no longer keeping pace with the activity of his mind, he sunk at length full of years and glory, amidst the applause of the world, and, what was far dearer to him, the veneration of his family, and the esteem and love of all who knew him.

Sir William Herschel has left one son, who, with is father's name, inherits his distinguished talents.

LAW AND PHYSIC. If thou study law or physic, endeavour to know both, and to need neither."

In a conversation which a short time since took place upon the wonderful and various applications of steam, an Irish gentleman present, who had just arrived in England, suddenly exclaimed, "It's quite entirely past all belafe; by the powers, I'll be no way surprised to find myself going a hunting some morning on my own taykettle!"

Villains are usually the worst casuists, and rush into greater

crimes to avoid less. Henry VIII. committed murder to avoid the imputation of adultery; and in our times, those who commit the latter crime, attempt to wash off the stain of seducing the wife, by signifying their readiness to shoot the husband.

An Irishman in the patriot service in South America writes to his friend in Boston:-"We compel the two armies of royalists to run in different directions; one we drive before us, while the other is close at our heels."

When lady Craven, of lively memory (afterwards margravine of Anspach), first published her "Travels through the Crimea and Constantinople," a wit made an extract from them under the following abbreviated title, "Lady Craven's Travels through Crim.Con."

TREASON WITH A VENGEANCE.Whitaker, in his History of Manchester, relates that in an early period of the English history, "two dogs suffered death for assaulting one of the lions in the Tower, on the principle of its being treason against Royalty !”

A PUN.-A few days since, a learned lord (of punning notoriety), when riding along the Rock-road met counsellor D-n. After the usual salutations, his lordship enquired of the barrister, where he was going, in that direction? The counsellor replied, "that a fellow, named Leary, living in Kingstown (formerly called Dunleary), had for a long time owed him thirty pounds."-" For which," said his lordship, interrupting him hasti

LUDICROUS ECLAIRCISSEMENT. Scudery, returning from his government of Nôtre Dame, with his sister, stopped one night at Point Saint Esprit, and slept in a two-bedded room. Before they went to sleep, Scudery conversed with his sister about the romance of Cyrus, which they were composing jointly. "What shall we do," says the brother, prince Mazare ?"

"" with

"I think we must poison him," replied the sister. "No," rejoined the brother, "I think we must keep the prince alive longer, as we have some business in hand for him and it will be in our power to kill him when we like." During this conversation between the brother and sister about the fate of prince Mazare, a merchant, who slept in another room adjoining to them, and divided only by a thin partition, had been long listening to this discourse; and assured that the parties were plotting the assassination of some prince, arose from his bed, and went immediately to a magistrate, to unfold this dark scheme. Scudery and his sister were arrested, and carried prisoners to Paris, and summoned before the court; who, hearing the embryo romance given by the authors, dismissed the cause with a very hearty laugh.

FROM BARRY O'MEARA'S WORK ON BUONAPARTE.

Animals and Vegetables. "There is a link between animals and the deity. Man," added he, "is merely a more perfect animal than the rest: he reasons better. But how do we know that animals have not a language of their own? My opinion is, that it is presumption in us to say no, because we do not understand them. A horse has memory, knowledge, and love: he knows his master from the servants, though the latter are more constantly with him. I had a horse myself, who knew me from any other person, and manifested, by capering and proudly marching with his head erect, when I was on his back, his knowledge that he bore a person superior to the others by whom he was surrounded. Neither would he allow any other person to mount him except one groom, who constantly took care of him; and, when rode by him, his motions were far different, and such as seemed to say that he was conscious he bore an inferior. When I lost my way, I was accustomed to throw the bridle down his neck, and he always discovered it in places where I, with all my observation and boasted superior knowledge, could not. Who can deny the sagacity of dogs? There is a link between all animals. Plants are so many animals who eat and drink, and there are gradations

up to man, who is only the most perfect of them all. The same spirit animates them all in a greater or a lesser degree."

Blucher." Blucher,” said he, " is a very brave soldier, un bon sabreur. He is like a bull who shuts his eyes, and, seeing no danger, rushes on. He committed a thousand faults; and had it not been for circumstances, I could repeatedly have made him and the greater part of his army prisoners. He is stubborn and indefatigable; afraid of nothing, and very much attached to his country; but, as a general, he is without talent. I recollect that, when I was in Prussia, he dined at my table after he had surrendered, and he was then considered to be an ordinary character."

Alexander-Asked his opinion of the emperor Alexander," C'est un homme extrémement faux. Un Grec du bas empire," replied Napoleon. "He is the only one of the three who has any talent. He is plausible, a great dissimulator, very ambitious, and a man who studies to make himself po pular. It is his foible to believe himself skilled in the art of war ir; and he likes nothing so well as to be complimented upon it, though every thing that originated with himself, relative to military operations, was ill-judged and absurd. At Tilsit, Alexander and the king of Prussia used frequently to occupy themselves in contriving dresses for dragoons; debating upon what