out Sneak's noise; mistress Tear-sheet would fain have some music. [Despatch:-The room where they supped is too hot; they'll come in straight.] 2 DRAW. Sirrah, here will be the prince and master Poins anon: and they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons; and sir John must not know of it: Bardolph hath brought word. 1 DRAW. By the mass, here will be old utis: It will be an excellent stratagem. 2 DRAW. I'll see if I can find out Sneak. Enter Hostess and DOLL TEAR-SHEET. [Exit. HOST. I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart would desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any rose: But you have drunk too much canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere we can say,-What's this? How do you now? DOLL. Better than I was. Hem. HOST. Why, that was well said; a good heart's worth gold. Look, here comes sir John. Enter FALSTAFF, singing. FAL. Empty the jordan. When Arthur first in court And was a worthy king": [Exit Drawer.] How now, mistress Doll? HOST. Sick of a calmd; yea, good sooth. FAL. So is all her sect; if they be once in a calm, they are sick. DOLL. You muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you give me? FAL. You make fat rascals, mistress Doll. DOLL. I make them! gluttony and diseases make them; I make them not. DOLL. Ay, marry; our chains and our jewels. • Sneak's noise. A noise of musicians is a band. Old utis. Utis is the octave of a festival; and so the word passed into the meaning of merriment generally. Old does not here mean ancient, but extreme, very good-a sense in which it is often used by Shakspere, and the writers of his time. Worthy king. The ballad, of which Falstaff here sings a snatch, may be found in Percy's 'Reliques,' vol. i. It commences thus: "When Arthur first in court began, And was approved king, By force of armes great victorys wanne, a Calm. The Hostess means qualm. FAL. Your brooches, pearls, and owches': -for to serve bravely is to come halting off, you know: To come off the breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the charged chambers bravely: [DOLL. Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!] HOST. By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet, but you fall to some discord: you are both, in good troth, as rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's confirmities. What the good year! one must bear, and that must be you: [to DOLL] you are the weaker vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel. DOLL. Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogshead? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the hold.-Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jackthou art going to the wars: and whether I shall ever see thee again, or no, there is nobody cares". Re-enter Drawer. DRAW. Sir, ancient Pistol 's below, and would speak with you. DOLL. Hang him, swaggering rascal! let him not come hither: it is the foulmouth'dst rogue in England. HOST. If he swagger, let him not come here: no, by my faith; I must live amongst my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers: I am in good name and fame with the very best:-Shut the door;-there comes no swaggerers here; I have not lived all this while, to have swaggering now:-shut the door, I pray you. FAL. Dost thou hear, hostess? HOST. Pray you, pacify yourself, sir John; there comes no swaggerers here. HOST. Tilly-fallyd, sir John, never tell me; your ancient swaggerer comes not • Your brooches, &c. Falstaff is here again singing a scrap of an old ballad (Percy's 'Reliques,' vol. i.): "A kirtle, and a mantle, This boy had him upon, With brooches, rings, and owches Full daintily bedone." It has been suggested to us by a critical reader of Shakspere, that these lines are metrical; that Doll, falling in with the musical vein of Falstaff, propitiates him with a little extempore lyric: "Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack; Thou art going to the wars; And whether I shall ever see thee again, • Ancient. This ancient is the standard, the ensign; and so the bearer of the ensign is also the ancient. Iago is Othello's ancient; Pistol, Falstaff's. Tilly-fally. This interjection, or rather Tilley-valley, is said to have been often used by the lady of Sir Thomas More. The origin is somewhat obscure; though it is supposed to have been an old French hunting cry. in my doors. I was before master Tisick, the deputy, the other day; and, as he said to me,-it was no longer ago than Wednesday last,-"Neighbour Quickly," says he;-master Dumb, our minister, was by then;-"Neighbour Quickly," says he, "receive those that are civil; for," saith he, "you are in an ill name;"—now he said so, I can tell whereupon; "for," says he, “you are an honest woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what guests you receive: Receive," says he, "no swaggering companions."-There comes none here;-you would bless you to hear what he said :-no, I'll no swaggerers. FAL. He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater, he; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound: he will not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.-Call him up, drawer. HOST. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater: But I do not love swaggering; by my troth, I am the worse when one says-swagger: feel, masters, how I shake; look you, I warrant you. DOLL. So you do, hostess. HOST. Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 't were an aspen-leaf: I cannot abide swaggerers. Enter PISTOL, BARDOLPH, and Page. PIST. Save you, sir John! FAL. Welcome, ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack: do you discharge upon mine hostess. PIST. I will discharge upon her, sir John, with two bullets. FAL. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her. HOST. Come, I'll drink no proofs, nor no bullets: I'll drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I. PIST. Then to you, mistress Dorothy; I will charge you. DOLL. Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion. What! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for your master. PIST. I know you, mistress Dorothy. DOLL. Away, you cutpurse rascal! you filthy bung, away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, if you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you!-Since when, I pray you, sir?—What, with two points on your shoulder? much! PIST. I will murther your ruff for this. [FAL. No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol.] HOST. No, good Captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain. • Cheater. The singular origin of this word is indicated in a passage of The Merry Wives of Windsor:' "I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me." The officers that manage the escheats of the crown were escheators; and from the oppression and extortion which they too commonly exercised in the discharge of their offices came the word to cheat. The Hostess, in her reply, understands the name cheater in its official meaning: "I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater." Much-an expression of contempt. HISTORIES.-VOL. I. BB DOLL. Captain! thou abominable damned cheater, art thou not ashamed to be called captain? If captains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking their names upon you before you have earned them. You a captain, you slave! for what? for tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdyhouse?—He a captain! Hang him, rogue! He lives upon mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A captain! these villains will make the word as odious as the word occupy ; which was an excellent good word before it was ill sorted: therefore captains had need look to it. BARD. Pray thee, go down, good ancient. FAL. Hark thee hither, mistress Doll. PIST. Not I: tell thee what, corporal Bardolph ;-I could tear her :-I'll be revenged on her. PAGE. Pray thee, go down. PIST. I'll see her damned first ;-to Pluto's damned lake, to the infernal deep, with Erebus and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. Down, down, dogs! down, faitors! Have we not Hiren here? HOST. Good captain Peesel, be quiet; it is very late. I beseek you now, aggravate your choler. PIST. These be good humours, indeed! Shall packhorses, And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia, Which cannot go but thirty miles a day, Compare with Cæsars and with Cannibals ", And Trojan Greeks? Nay, rather damn them with king Cerberus ; And let the welkin roar. Shall we fall foul for toys? HOST. By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words. BARD. Be gone, good ancient; this will grow to a brawl anon. PIST. Die men, like dogs; give crowns like pins; Have we not Hiren here? HOST. On my word, captain, there's none such here. What the good-year! do you think I would deny her? I pray be quiet. PIST. Then, feed and be fat, my fair Calipolis: Come, give me some sack. "Si fortuna me tormenta, sperato me contenta." 12— Fear we broadsides? no, let the fiend give fire: Give me some sack;-and, sweetheart, lie thou there. [Laying down his sword. Come we to full points here; and are et ceteras nothing? The folio merely has "A captain! these villains will make the word odious.” We give the text of the quarto. Hollow pamper'd jades, &c. Pistol's fustian speeches are made up from scraps of old plays. The following lines are in Marlowe's' Tamburlaine' (1590): "Holla, you pamper'd jades of Asia! What! can you draw but twenty miles a day?" • Cannibals. Pistol, whose learning is on a par with Dame Quickly's, means Hannibals. It is curious enough that the Italian of this worthy, a few lines farther on, was corrected, in sober earnest, by Sir Thomas Hanmer. FAL. Pistol, I would be quiet. PIST. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neifa: What! we have seen the seven stars. DOLL. Thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure such a fustian rascal. PIST. Thrust him down stairs! know we not Galloway nags ? FAL. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat shilling 13: nay, if he do nothing but speak nothing, he shall be nothing here. BARD. Come, get you down stairs. PIST. What! shall we have incision? shall we imbrue?—[Snatching up his sword. DOLL. I prithee, Jack, I prithee, do not draw. [Drawing, and driving PISTOL out. HOST. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murther, I warrant now. Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your naked weapons. [Exeunt PIST. and BARD. DOLL. I prithee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal is gone. Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you. HOST. Are you not hurt i' the groin? methought, he made a shrewd thrust at your belly. Re-enter BARDOLPH. FAL. Have you turned him out of doors? BARD. Yes, sir. The rascal's drunk: you have hurt him, sir, in the shoulder. FAL. A rascal! to brave me! DOLL. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face; come on, you whoreson chops :-Ah, rogue! I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the nine worthies. Ah, villain! FAL. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket. DOLL. Do, if thou darest for thy heart: if thou dost, I'll canvas thee between a pair of sheets. PAGE. The music is come, sir. Enter Music. FAL. Let them play ;-Play, sirs.-Sit on my knee, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from me like quicksilver. DOLL. And thou followedst him like a church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig 14, when wilt thou leave fighting o'days, and foining o' nights, and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven? Neif-fist. So, in 'A Midsummer-Night's Dream,' Bottom says "Give me thy neif, monsieur Mustard-seed." The word neif, or neive, is still commonly used in Scotland. ▸ Pistol's speeches in the original quarto and folio are given as prose. We believe they were meant to be metrical, after his fashion-imitations of some of the fustian lines of contemporary plays. |
