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Say Slouch could hardly call his soul his own;
To give him slippers, and lock up his shoes.
His friends thought this was a tyrannic rule,
He said “ That the next Tuesday noon would shew “ Whether he were the lord at home, or no, “ When their good company he would entreat “ To well-brew'd ale, and clean, if homely, meat."
With aching heart, home to his wife he goes, And on his knees does his rash act disclose, And prays dear Sukey-tbat, one day, at least, He might appear as master of the feast. “I'll grant your wish,” cries Sue, “that you may u "Twere wisdom to be govern'd still by me.'
The guests, upon the day appointed, came; Each bowsy farmer with his simpering dame, “Ho, Sue” cries Slouch, “why dost thou not ap
? “ Are these thy manners when aunt Snap is here ?"
“I pardon ask,” says Sue; “ I'd not offend “Any my dear invites ; much less his friend."
Slouch, by his kinsman Gruffy had been taught To entertain his friends with finding fault, And make the main ingredient of his treat His saying “there was nothing fit to eat : "The boil'd pork stinks—the roast beef's not enough, “ The bacon's rusty, and the hens are tough; “ The veal's all rags; the butter's turn'd to oil ; “And thus I buy good meat for sluts to spoil.
“'Tis we are the first Slouches ever sat ! “Down to a pudding without plums or fat.
“Why must old pigeons, and they stale, be drest, " When there's so many squab ones in the nest ? “ This beer is sour ;-this musty, thick and stale, “ And worse than any thing, except the ale."
Sue, all this while, many excuses made ; Some things she own'd ; at other times she laid The fault on chance; but oftener on the maid. Then Cheese was brought. Says Slouch, “This
e'en shall roll : “ I'm sure 'tis hard enough to make a bowl. “ This is skimm’d milk; and, therefore, it shall go; “And this, because 'tis Suffolk, follow too.”
But now Sue's patience did begin to waste ; Nor longer could dissimulation last. “ Pray let me rise,” says she, “my dear !—I'll find “A cheese, perhaps, may be to Lovy's mind ! Then, in an entry standing close, where he Alone, and none of all his friends might see, And brandishing a cudgel he had felt, And far enough, on this occasion smelt, “I'll try, my joy !” she cried, “If I can please My dearest with a taste of his Old Cheese !"
Slouch, turning round, saw his wife's vigorous hand Wielding her oaken saplin of command. He knew the twang.
" Is’t the Old Cheese, my dear! “No need, no need of Cheese," cries Slouch, I'll
swear: " I think I've din'd as well as my Lord Mayor!"
A MOONLIGHT SCENE.
POPE'S HOMER.--ILIAD VIII. v. 673.
Ungrateful offering to the immortal powers !
The troops exulting sat in order round,
REPLY OF MR. PITT,
(The late Earl of Chatham,) TO THE CHARGE OF YOUTHFUL INEXPERIENCE,
AND THEATRICAL ANIMATION. This illustrious father of English Oratory, having crpreseed himself, in the House of Commons, with his accustomed energy; in opposition to one of the measures then in agitation, his speech produced an answer from Mr. WALPOLE, who, in the course of it, said, “Formi
dable sounds, and furious declamation, confident * assertions, and lofty periods, may affect the young
' and inexperienced ; and perhaps, the honourable gentleman may have contracted his habits of ora
tory by conversing more with those of his own age, " than with such as have had more opportunities of acquiring knowledge, and more successful methods
of communicating their sentiments.” And he made use of some expressions, such as vehemence of gesture, theatrical emotion, &c. applying them to Mr. Pitt's manner of speaking. As soon as Mr. WALPOLE sat down, Mr. Pitt got up and replied :
The atrocious crime of being a young man, which the honorable gentleman has, with such spirit and decency, charged upon me, I shall neither attempt to palliate nor deny : but content myself with wishing—that I may be one of those whose follies cease with their youth ; and not of that number who are ignorant in spite of experience.
Whether youth can be imputed to any man as a reproach, I will not assume the province of determining-but, surely, age may become justly contemptible,-if the opportunities which it brings have passed away without improvement, and vice appears to prevail when the passions have subsided. The wretch that, after having seen the consequences of a thousand errors, continues still to blunder,—and whose age has only added obstinacy to stupidity, is surely the object of either abhorrence or contempt; and deserves not that his grey head should secure him from insults. Much more is he to be abhorred—who, as he has advanced in age, has receded from virtue, and becomes more wicked with less temptation : who prostitutes himself for money which he cannot enjoy, and spends the remains of his life in the ruin of his country.
But youth is not my only crime. I have been accused of acting a theatrical part.
A theatrical part, may either imply--some peculiarities of gesture, -or a dissimulation of my real sentiments, and the adoption of the opinions and language of another man.
In the first sense, the charge is too trifling to be conluted; and deserves only to be mentioned that it may be despised. I am at liberty (like every other man) to use my own language: and tho' I may, perhaps, have some ambition,-yet to please this gentleman, I shall not lay myself under any restraint, or very solicitously copy his diction, or his mien; however matured by age, or modelled by experience. If any man shall, by charging me with theatrical behaviour, imply that I utter any sentiments but my own, I shall treat him as a calumniator and a villain: nor shall any protection shelter him from the treatment which he deserves. I shall, on such an occasion, without scruple, trample upon all those forms with which wealth and dignity entrench themselves; nor shall any thing but age restrain my resentment: age, which always brings one privilege—that of being insolent and supercilious without punishment.
But—with regard to those whom I have offended, I am of opinion—that, if I had acted a borrowed part, I should have avoided their censure. The heat that offended them is the ardour of conviction, and that zeal for the service of my country, which neither hope, nor fear, shall influence me to suppress. I will not sit unconcerned while' my liberty is invaded; nor look in silence upon public robbery. I will exert my endeavours (at whatever hazard) to repel the aggressor, and drag the thief to justice,-what power soever may protect the villany, and whoever may partake of the plunder.
APOSTROPHE TO THE QUEEN OF
It is now, sixteen or seventeen years since I saw the queen of France, then the dauphiness, at Versailles; and surely, never lighted on this orb, which she hardly seemed to touch, a more delightful vision. I saw her just above the horizon, decorating and cheering the elevated sphere she just began to move in: glittering, like the morning star; full of life, and splendour, and joy.