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ON THE GLORY OF HER SEX-MRS. MARY BLAIZE.
GOOD people all, with one accord,
She strove the neighbourhood to please,
At church, in silks and satins new,
But now her wealth and finery fled,
Let us lament, in sorrow sore,
EPITAPH ON DR. PARNELL.
THIS tomb inscribed to gentle Parnell's name
Celestial themes confess'd his tuneful aid;
SUPPOSED TO BE WRITTEN BY A COMMON COUNCILMAN, AT THE TIME OF THE CORONATION OF GEORGE THE THIRD.
I HAVE the honour of being a common counciland am greatly pleased with a paragraph from Southampton in yours of yesterday. There we learn that the mayor and aldermen of that loyal borough had the particular satisfaction of celebrating the royal nuptials by a magnificent turtle feast. By this means the gentlemen had the pleasure of filling their bellies and showing their loyalty together. I must confess, it would give me some pleasure to see some such method of testifying our loyalty practised in this metropolis, of which I am an unworthy member. Instead of presenting his Majesty (God bless him) on every occasion with our formal addresses, we might thus sit comfortably down to dinner, and wish him prosperity in a sirloin of beef; upon our army levelling the walls of a town,
or besieging a fortification, we might at our city feast imitate our brave troops, and demolish the walls of a venison pasty, or besiege the shell of a turtle, with as great a certainty of success.
At present, however, we have got into a sort of dry, unsocial manner of drawing up addresses upon every occasion; and though I have attended upon six cavalcades, and two foot processions, in a single year, yet I came away as lean and hungry, as if I had been a juryman at the Old Bailey. For my part, Mr. Printer, I don't see what is got by these processions and addresses, except an appetite; and that, thank Heaven, we have in a pretty good degree, without ever leaving our own houses for it. It is true, our gowns of mazarine blue, edged with fur, cut a pretty figure enough, parading it through the streets, and so my wife tells me. In fact, I generally bow to all my acquaintance when thus in full dress; but, alas! as the proverb has it, fine clothes never fill the belly.
But even though all this bustling, parading, and powdering, through the streets, be agreeable enough to many of us; yet, I would have my brethren consider whether the frequent repetition of it be so agreeable to our betters above. To be introduced to court, to see the Queen, to kiss hands, to smile upon lords, to ogle the ladies, and all the other fine things there, may, I grant, be a perfect show to us that view it but seldom; but it may be a troublesome business
enough to those who are to settle such ceremonies as these every day. To use an instance adapted to all our apprehensions; suppose my family and I should go to Bartholomew fair. Very well; going to Bartholomew fair, the whole sight is perfect rapture to us, who are only spectators once and away; but I am of opinion, that the wire-walker and fire-eater find no such great sport in all this; I am of opinion they had as lief remain behind the curtain, at their own pastimes, drinking beer, eating shrimps, and smoking tobacco.
Besides, what can we tell his Majesty in all we say on these occasions, but what he knows perfectly well already? I believe, if I were to reckon up, I could not find above five hundred disaffected in the whole kingdom; and here we are every day telling his Majesty how loyal we are. Suppose the addresses of a people, for instance, should run thus: 'May it please your M-y, we are many of us worth a hundred thousand pounds, and are possessed of several other inestimable advantages. For the preservation of this money and those advantages we are chiefly indebted to your M―y. We are, therefore, once more assembled, to assure your M-y of our fidelity. This, it is true, we have lately assured your M- -y five or six times; but we are willing once more to repeat what can't be doubted, and to kiss your royal hand, and the Queen's hand, and thus sincerely