he loved exceedingly, told him on some occasion notwithstanding, that his wife's sister was really happy, and called upon the lady to confirm his assertion, which she did somewhat roundly as we say, and with an accent and manner capable of offending Mr. Johnson, if her position had not been sufficient, without any thing more, to put him in very ill humour. 'If your sister-inlaw is really the contented being she professes herself Sir (said he), her life gives the lie to every research of humanity; for she is happy without health, without beauty, without money, and without understanding.' This story he told me himself; and when I expressed something of the horror I felt, 'The same stupidity (said he) which prompted her to extol felicity she never felt, hindered her from feeling what shocks you on repetition. I tell you, the woman is ugly, and sickly, and foolish, and poor; and would it not make a man hang himself to hear such a creature say, it was happy?'

'The life of a sailor was also a continued scene of danger and exertion (he said); and the manner in which time was spent on shipboard would make all who saw a cabin envy a gaol'.' The roughness of the language used on board a man of war, where he passed a week on a visit to Capt. Knight, disgusted him terribly. He asked an officer what some place was called, and received for answer, that it was where the loplolly man kept his loplolly: a reply he considered, not unjustly, as disrespectful,

gross, and ignorant; for though in the course of these Memoirs I have been led to mention Dr. Johnson's tenderness towards poor people, I do not wish to mislead my readers, and make them think he had any delight in mean manners or coarse expressions. Even dress itself, when it resembled that of the vulgar, offended him exceedingly; and when he had condemned me many times for not adorning my children with more show than I thought useful or elegant, I presented a little girl to him who came o'visiting one evening covered with shining ornaments, to see if he would approve of the appearance she made. When they were gone home, Well Sir, said I, how did you like little miss? I hope she was fine enough. 'It was the finery of a beggar (said he), and you know it was; she looked like a native of Cow-lane dressed up to be carried to Bartholomew-fair".'

His reprimand to another lady for crossing her little child's handkerchief before, and by that operation dragging down its head oddly and unintentionally, was on the same principle. 'It is the beggar's fear of cold (said he) that prevails over such parents, and so they pull the poor thing's head down, and give it the look of a baby that plays about Westminster-Bridge, while the mother sits shivering in a niche3.

I commended a young lady for her beauty and pretty behaviour one day however, to whom I thought no objections could have been made. 'I saw her (says Dr. Johnson) take a pair of scissars in her left hand though; and for all her father is now

become a nobleman, and as you say excessively rich', I should, were I a youth of quality ten years hence, hesitate between a girl so neglected, and a negro.'

It was indeed astonishing how he could remark such minutenesses with a sight so miserably imperfect; but no accidental position of a ribband escaped him, so nice was his observation, and so rigorous his demands of propriety. When I went with him to Litchfield and came down stairs to breakfast at the inn3, my dress did not please him, and he made me alter it entirely before he would stir a step with us about the town, saying most satirical things concerning the appearance I made in a riding-habit; and adding, "Tis very strange that such eyes as yours cannot discern propriety of dress: if I had a sight only half as good, I think I should see to the centre.'

:

My compliances however were of little worth what really surprised me was the victory he gained over a Lady little accustomed to contradiction, who had dressed herself for church at Streatham one Sunday morning, in a manner he did not approve, and to whom he said such sharp and pungent things concerning her hat, her gown, &c. that she hastened to change them, and returning quite another figure received his applause, and thanked him for his reproofs, much to the amazement of her husband, who could scarcely believe his own ears.

2 'I supposed him,' writes Boswell, 'to be only near-sighted; and indeed I must observe, that in no other respect could I discern any defect in his vision; on the contrary, the force of his attention and perceptive quickness made him see and distinguish all manner of objects, whether of nature or of art, with a nicety that is rarely to be found.... The ladies with whom he was acquainted agree, that no man was more nicely and minutely critical in VOL. I.

the elegance of female dress.' Life,

i. 41.

'His blindness,' wrote Miss Burney, 'is as much the effect of absence [of mind] as of infirmity, for he sees wonderfully at times. He can see the colour of a lady's top-knot, for he very often finds fault with it.' Mme. D'Arblay's Diary, ii. 174.

3 The Swan. Life, v. 428. Boswell and Johnson in 1776 stayed at the Three Crowns. Ib. ii. 461. In 1779 Boswell passed a night at the George. Ib. iii. 411. All three inns still exist.

Another

Another lady, whose accomplishments he never denied, came to our house one day covered with diamonds, feathers, &c.' and he did not seem inclined to chat with her as usual. I asked him why? when the company was gone. 'Why; her head looked so like that of a woman who shews puppets (said he), and her voice so confirmed the fancy, that I could not bear her to-day; when she wears a large cap, I can talk to her.'

When the ladies wore lace trimmings to their clothes, he expressed his contempt of the reigning fashion in these terms: 'A Brussels trimming is like bread sauce (said he), it takes away the glow of colour from the gown, and gives you nothing instead of it; but sauce was invented to heighten the flavour of our food, and trimming is an ornament to the manteau 2, or it is nothing. Learn (said he) that there is propriety or impropriety in every thing how slight soever, and get at the general principles of dress and of behaviour; if you then transgress them, you will at least know that they are not observed.'

All these exactnesses in a man who was nothing less than exact himself, made him extremely impracticable as an inmate, though most instructive as a companion, and useful as a friend. Mr. Thrale too could sometimes over-rule his rigidity, by saying

' Most likely Mrs. Montagu. 'The Queen of the bas bleus, Mrs. Montagu, crowned her toupet, and circled her neck with diamonds, when she received an assembly of foreigners, literati, and maccaronis, in her dressing-room, the walls of which were newly painted with "bowers of roses and jessamines, entirely inhabited by little cupids." Early Diary of F. Burney, i. Preface, p. 85. Miss Burney speaks of her 'parade and ostentation.' Mme. D'Arblay's Diary,

shewed me of hers formerly, so full of affectation, refinement, attempts to philosophize, talking metaphysics -in all which particulars she so bewildered and puzzled herself and her readers, and showed herself so superficial, nay, really ignorant in the subjects she paraded on - that in my own private mind's pocket-book I set her down for a vain, empty, conceited pretender, and little else.' Early Diary, i. Preface, p. 34, n. 2. For her pretentious Essay on Shakespeare, see Life, ii. 88. See also ante, p. 287.

2 Manteau is not in Johnson's Dictionary.

coldly

coldly, There, there, now we have had enough for one lecture, Dr. Johnson; we will not be upon education any more till after dinner, if you please-or some such speech: but when there was nobody to restrain his dislikes, it was extremely difficult to find any body with whom he could converse, without living always on the verge of a quarrel, or of something too like a quarrel to be pleasing. I came into the room, for example, one evening, where he and a gentleman, whose abilities we all respect exceedingly, were sitting; a lady who walked in two minutes before me had blown 'em both into a flame, by whispering something to Mr. Sd, which he endeavoured to explain away, so as not to affront the Doctor, whose suspicions were all alive. And have a care, Sir (said he), just as I came in; the Old Lion will not bear to be tickled.' The other was pale with rage, the Lady wept at the confusion she had caused3, and I could only say with Lady Macbeth,

6

Soh! you've displac'd the mirth, broke the good meeting
With most admir'd disorder *.

Such accidents however occurred too often, and I was forced to take advantage of my lost lawsuit 5, and plead inability of

''I know no man (said Johnson) who is more master of his wife and family than Thrale. If he but holds up a finger he is obeyed.' Life, i. 494. He was, it seems, master also of his guest, even when his guest was Johnson.

2 See ante, p. 310, where she writes :-' I saw Mr. Johnson in none but a tranquil uniform state, passing the evening of his life among friends who loved, honoured, and admired him.'

3 Mr. S-d was no doubt William Seward (Life, iii. 123), and the lady who wept was most probably Sophy Streatfield.

""I'm sure," said Mrs. Thrale, "when she cried for Seward I never saw her look half so lovely."

""For Seward?" cried Sir Philip [Clerk]; "did she cry for Seward?" ""Seward," said Mrs. Thrale, "had affronted Johnson, and then Johnson affronted Seward, and then the S. S. cried."

SIR PHILIP. "But what did Seward do? was he not melted?"

'MRS. THRALE. "Not he; he was thinking only of his own affront and taking fire at that." Mme. D'Arblay's Diary, i. 227.

✦ 'You have displaced' &c. Macbeth, Act iii. sc. 5. 'Soh!' is Mrs. Thrale's addition.

5 Mrs. Piozzi seems to have thought that her lost lawsuit was known to all the world. What it was is shown by the following entries. My uncle's widow, Lady Salusbury, had Z 2 purse