Epift. 144. I could command my foul filence, and wait upon the Lord. I am fure, while Chrift lives, I am well enough friend-stead: I hope he will extend his kindness and power for me; but God be thanked it is not worse with me, than a cross for Chrift and his truth. I know he might have pitched upon many more choice and worthy witnesses, if he had pleased; but I feek no more (be what timber I will, fuppofe I were made of a piece of hell) than that my Lord, in his infinite art, hew glory to his name, and enlargement to Christ's kingdom, out of me. Oh that I could attain to this, to defire that my part of Christ might be laid in pledge for the heightening of Christ's throne in Britain! Let my Lord redeem the pledge, or, if he please, let it fink and drown unredeemed. But what can I add to him? or what way can a fmothered and born-down prifoner fet out Christ in open market, as a lovely and defirable Lord, to many fouls? I know he feeth to his own glory, better than my ebb thoughts can dream of; and that the wheels and paces of this poor diftempered kirk are in his hands, and that things fhall roll as Chrift will have them: only, Lord tryft the matter fo, as Chrift may be made a houfholder and lord again in Scotland, and wet faces for his departure may be dried at his sweet and much defired welcome-home. I fee, in all our trials our Lord will not mix our wares and his grace over-head through other; but he will have each man to know his own, that the like of me may say, in my sufferings, This is Chrift's grace, and this is but my coarse stuff; this is free grace, and this is but nature and reafon. We know what our legs would play us, if they should carry us through all our waters; and the least thing our Lord can have of us, is, to know, we are grace's debtors, or grace's dyvours, and that nature is of a bafe house and blood, and grace is better born, and of kin and blood to Chrift, and of a better house. Oh that I were free of that idol, that they call myself; and that Christ were for myself, and myfelf a decourted cypher, and a denied and forefworn thing! But that proud thing, myself, will not play, except it ride up fide for fide with Chrift, or rather have place before him. O myself, another devil, as evil as the prince of devils; if thou could give Chrift the way, and take thine own room, which is to fit as low as nothing or corruption! O but we have much need to be ranfomed and redeemed by Christ, from that master-tyrant, that cruel and lawless lord, ourself. Nay, when I am feeking Christ, and am out of myfelf, I have the third part of a fquint-eye upon that vain, vain thing, myself, myself, and fomething of mine own: but I must hold here. I defire you to contribute your help, to fee if I can be reftored to my wafted and loft flock. I fee not how it can be, except the Lords would procure me a liberty to preach; and they have reafon, I. 1. Because the oppofers and my adverfaries have practifed their new canons upon me, whereof one is, That no de prived minifter preach, under the pain of excommunication. 2. Because my oppofing of thefe canons, was a fpecial thing that incenfed Sydferf against me. 3. Becaufe I was judicially accufed for my book against the Arminians, and commanded by the chancellor, to acknowledge I had done a fault in writing against Dr. Jackfon, a wicked Arminian. Pray for a room in the houfe to me. Grace, grace be (as it is) your portion. Aberd. 1637. Yours in his fweet Lord Jefus, S. R. 145. To JOHN STEWART Provost of Air. Worthy Sir, GRace, mercy and peace be to you. I long for the time, when fhall fee the beauty of the Lord in his houfe; and would be as glad of it, as of any fight on earth, to fee the halt, the blind, and the lame, come back to Zion with fupplications, Jer. xxxi. 8, 9. Going and weeping, and seeking the Lord, afking the way to Zion with their faces thitherward, Jer. 1. 5, 6. And to fee the woman travailing in birth, delivered of the man child of a blessed reformation. If this land were humbled, I would look that our skies fhould clear, and our day dawn again; and ye should then blefs Christ, who is content to fave your travel, and to give himself to you, in pure ordinances on this fide of the fea. I know, the mercy of Chrift is engaged by promife to Scotland, notwithstanding he bring wrath, as I fear he fhall, upon, this land. I am waiting on for enlargement, and half-content that my faith bow, if Chrift, while he bow it, keep it unbroken; for who goeth through a fire without a mark or a fcald? I fee the Lord making use of this fire, to fcour his veffels from their ruft. Oh that my will were filent, and as a child weaned from the breafts! Pfal. cxxxi. But alas, who hath an heart that will give Chrift the last word in flyting, and will hear, and not speak again? Oh! conteftations and quarrellous replies (as a foon-faddled fpirit, I do well to be angry, even to the death, Jonah iv. 9.) fmell of the stink of strong corruption. Oblessed foul, that could facrifice his will, and go to heaven, having lost his will, and made refignation of it to Chrift! I would feek no more but that Chrift, were, abfolute king over my will, and that my will were a fufferer in all croffes, without meeting Chrift with fuch a word, Why is it thus? I wifh ftill, that my love had but leave to ftand befide beautiful Jefus, and to get the mercy of looking to him, and burning for him, fuppofe poffeffion of him were fufpended and fristed, till my Lord fold together the leaves and two fides of the little shepherd's tent of clay. Oh what pain is in longing for Christ, under an over-clouded and eclipfed affurance! What is harder than to burn, and dwine with longing and deaths of love, and then to have blanks and uninked paper, for affurance of Chrift Epift. 145in real fruition or poffeffion? Oh how fweet were one line or half a letter of a written afsurance under Chrift's own hand! But this is our exercise daily, that guiltinefs fhall overmift and darken affurance: it is a miracle to believe, but for a finner to believe is two miracles. But O what obligations of love are we under to Chrift, who beareth with our wild apprehenfions, in fuffering them to nickname sweet Jefus, and to put a lie upon his good name! If he had not been God, and if long-fuffering in Chrift were not like Christ himself, we should long ago have broken Chrift's mercies in two pieces, and put an iron-bar upon our own falvation, that mercy fhould not have been able to break or over-leap; but long-fuffering in God, is God himself, and that is our falvation, and the stability of our heaven is in God: he knew (who faid, Chrift in you the hope of glory, Col. i. 27. for our hope and the bottom and pillars of it is Chrift, God) finners are anchor-fast and made stable in God; fo that if God do not change (which is impoffible) then my hope shall not fluctuate. O fweet stability of fure bottomed falvation! Who could win heaven, if this were not? and who could be faved, if God were not God, and if he were not such a God as he is? O God be thanked that ur falvation is coafted, and landed, and fhored upon Christ, who is mafter of winds and ftorms!' And what fea-winds can blow the coaft or the land out of its place? Bulwarks are often casten down, but coafts are not removed: but fuppofe that were or might be, yet God cannot reel or remove. Oh that we go from this strong and unmoveable Lord, and that we loose ourselves (if it were in our power) from him! Alas, our green and young love hath not taken with Chrift, being unacquainted with him: he is fuch a wide, and broad, and deep, and high, and furpaffing sweetness, that our love is too little for him; but O if our love, little as it is, could take hand with his great and huge sweetness, and transcendent excellency! O thrice bleffed, and eternally bleffed are they, who are out of themselves, and above themselves, that they may be in love united to him! I am often rolling up and down the thoughts of my faint and fick defires, of expreffing Chrift's glory before his people; but I fee not through the throng of impediments, and cannot find eyes to look higher, and fo. I put many things in Christ's way to hinder him, that I know he would but laugh at, and with one ftride fet his foot over them all. I know not, if my Lord will bring me to his fanctuary or not; but I know, he hath the placing of me, either within or without the house, and that nothing will be done without him: but I am often thinking and faying, within myself that my days flee away, and I fee no good, neither yet Christ's work thriving; and it is like, the grave fhall prevent the answer of my defires of faving of fouls, as I would: but alas! I cannot make right work of his ways, I neither fpell nor read my Lord's providence aright: my thoughts go away, that I fear, they meet meet not God; for it is like, God will not come the way of my thoughts; and I cannot be taught to crucify him my wisdom and defires, and to make him king over my thoughts; for I would have a princedom over my thoughts, and would boldly and blindly prefcribe to God, and guide myfelf in a way of my own making: but I hold my peace here, let him do his will. Grace, grace be with you. I Aberd. 1637. Yours in his fweeteft Lord and Mafter, S. R. 146. To CARSLUTH. Much honoured Sir, Long to hear how your foul profpereth. I earnestly defire you, to try how matters ftand between your foul and the Lord : think it no eafy matter to take heaven by violence; falvation cometh now to the most part of men in a night-dream: there is no fcarcity of faith now, fuch as it is; for ye fhall not now light upon the man, who will not fay he hath faith in Chrift: but alas! dreams make no man's rights. Worthy Sir, I beseech you in the Lord, give your foul no reft, till ye have real affurance, and Christ's rights confirmed and fealed to your foul; the common faith, and country-holinefs, and week-days zeal, that is among people, will never bring men to heaven: take pains for your falvation; for in that day, when ye fhall fee many mens labours and conquests and idol-riches lying in afhes, when the earth and all the works thereof fhall be burnt with fire, O how dear a price would your foul give for God's favour in Chrift! It is a blessed thing to see Chrift with up-fun, and to read over your papers and foul-accounts with fair day-light it will not be time to cry for a lamp, when the Bride/groom is entered into his chamber, and the door shut. Fy, fy, upon blinded and debafed fouls, who are committing whoredom with this idol-clay, and hunting a poor wretched hungry heaven, a hungry break-fast, a day's meat from this hungry world, with the forfeiting of God's favour, and the drinking over their heaven over the board (as men use to speak) for the laughter and sports of this fhort forenoon! All that is under this vault of heaven, and betwixt us and death, and in this side of fun and moon, are but toys, nightvifions, head-fancies, poor fhadows, watery froth, godlefs vanities, at their best, and black hearts, and falt and four miseries, fugared over, and confected with an hour's laughter or two, and the conceit of riches, honour, vain, vain court, and lawless pleasures. Sir, if ye look both to the laughing fide and the weeping fide of this world, and if ye look not only upon the skin and colour of things, but into their inwards, and the heart of their excellency, ye shall fee that one look of Christ's sweet and lovely eye, one kifs of his fairest face, is worth ten thousand worlds of fuch rotten stuff, as the foolish fons of men fet their hearts upon. Oh Sir, turn, turn your heart to the other fide of things, and get it once free of these entanglements, to confider eternity, death, the clay-bed, the grave, awiome judgment, everlasting burning quick in hell, where death would give as great a price (if there were a market, where dea n might be bought and fold) as all the world. Confider heaven and glory: but alas, why speak I of confidering these things, which Fave. not entered into the heart of man to confider? Look into chcie depths (without a bottom) of lovelinefs, fweetnefs, beauty, excellency, glory, goodness, grace and mercy, that are in Chrift and ye fhall then cry down the whole world, and all the glory of it, even when it is come to the fummer-bloom; and ye shall cry, Up with Christ, up with Chrift's Father, up with eternity of glory. Sir, there is a great deal lefs fand in your glass, than when I faw you, and your afternoon is nearer even-tide now than it was. As a fool carried back to the fea, fo doth the Lord's fwift poft, time, carry you and your life with wings to the grave: ye eat and drink, but time ftandeth not ftill; ye laugh, but your day fleeth away; ye fleep, but your hours are reckoned and put by hand. O how foon will time fhut you out of the poor and cold and hungry inns of this life! and then what will yesterday's short-born pleasures do to you, but be as a fnow-ball melted away, many years fince, or worse? for the memory of these pleasures ufeth to fill the foul with bitterness. Time and experience will prove this to be true; and dying men, if they could fpeak, could make this good. Lay no more on the creatures, than they are able to carry; lay your foul and your weights upon God; make him your only, only best beloved. Your errand to this life is to make fure an eternity of gle ry to your foul, and to match your foul with Chrift; your love, it it were more than all the love of angels in one, is Chrift's due: o ther things worthy in themselves, in refpect of Chrift, are not worth a windleftraw, or a drink of cold water. I doubt not but in death ye will fee all things more diftinctly, and that then the world shall bear no more bulk than it is worth, and that then it shall couch and be contracted into nothing; and ye fhall fee Chrift longer, higher, broader, and deeper, than ever he was. O bleffed conqueft, to lose all things and to gain Chrift! I know not what ye have, if ye want Chrift: alas, how poor is your gain, if the earth were all yours in free heritage, holding it of no man of clay, if Christ be not yours? O feek all midfes, lay all oars in the water, put forth all your power, and bend all your endeavours, to put away and part with all things, that ye may gain and enjoy Chrift; try and search his word, and strive to go a step above and beyond ordinary profeffors, and refolve to fweat more and run fafter than they do for falvation. Mens mid-way, cold and wife courfes in godlinefs, and their neighbourlike, cold and wife pace to heaven, will caufe many a man want |