A cheat. Part of a fence. The defence of a bridge. 2. BY J. F. Reverse an opening in a mansion found, 3. Three quarters of a sect of old, I speak; and then much pleasure give 4. My first is built with great design; My second is a fish by nature; My whole's a beauteous little creature, The Cabinet of Mirth. "Here let the jest and mirthful tale go round." HIBERNIAN ELOQUENCE. N the house of commons, lately, Mr. Martin, I of Galway, said, the lamentation of gentlemen over the constitution reminded him of one of those funerals in his own country, at which great, big tears and sobs might be heard and seen among the mourners, some of whom were probably the accessaries, or principals, in perpetrating the murder of the man who was going to his grave (a laugh). He considered the minister in the situation of the captain of an East Indiaman. It was his duty to bring the ship home safe, and to guard against wear and tear ;-but, if that could not be done, if to save the whole cargo, he should be obliged to throw half of it overboard (this produced a loud laugh); yes, he maintained, if he was to throw the whole of it overboard, he should be indemnified for his conduct! (Here a loud laughing, and cry of Order, Order! succeeded.) MODERN ORTHOGRAPHY. A parish clerk in Hertfordshire, named Jeremy, lately received the following curious instructions from a parishioner:-"Mister Gemery, mi wief is dede an wants to be burid, a Digg Graiv for hir an Shee shall com to be burid termorrer at Wollner Clocke you noes ware to dige itt bi mi two uther wifes-let it lee dip. ANECDOTE. An emigrant nobleman lately asked Lady Walface, " Why it was generally remarked abroad, by foreigners, that the Scotch, who travelled, were men of parts and learning, while the English were generally wanting in both?" Her ladyship, with her usual vivacity, replied-" That only fools went out of England; but for Scotland, none but fools would stay in it." Scotch nobleman, neither famous for parts or learning, observed-" That her ladyship was right with regard to the Scotch; for," says he, "there are offices established in Scotland where every Scotchman must apply for a passport before he can leave the country; and previous to the granting thereof, he is examined with regard to his intellects and education: and should they not arrive to the standard fixed, no passport is granted, but he is sent back for improvement: on a second application the same form is observed, but should he apply a third time, and then be found wanting, he is remanded back for life."" Then," replied her ladyship, "I am sure your lordship was smuggled!" EXTRAORDINARY RETORT. In the reign of Elizabeth, Gen. Earl of Desmond led his army into the territory of his enemy, the Earl of Ormond, where, after a desperate conflict, he was defeated, wounded and taken prisoner. As the Ormondians conveyed him from the field on a bier, his supporters exclaimed-" Where is now great Earl of Desmond?" The wounded chief replied "Where, but in his proper place, on the necks of the Butlers!" the ANECDOTE. The following curious circumstance is related as having taken place some time ago at the court of Copenhagen. On entering the drawing-room one court-day, the foot of the French ambassador tripped, the Dutch envoy attempted to save him, but without success, and they both fell at the feet of Mrs Crawford, the Lady of the English chargé d'affaires-the Russian minister, then present, exclaimed, "Voila les deux Republique aux pieds d'Angleterre ! BON MOT OF THE LATE ROBERT BURNS. This singular character, it is well known, was addicted to the bottle. A physician who attended him in his last illness remonstrating with him on this head, assured him," the coat of his stomach was entirely gone." The merry bard declared, if that were the case, he would go on drinking to the end of the chapter; "for, if the coat was all gone, it was not worth while carrying about the waist coat." The following ludicrous notice was lately sent by a gentleman in the county of York, the tithe of whose garden is demanded by the rector of the pa. rish he lives in. Parish. "Notice to the Rector of O"A large fine dish of Battersea asparagus will be cut at O Hall, on Thursday next, the 4th of June, in order to celebrate his majesty's birth-day, of which the rector is desired to take notice, that a proper person may be sent to take his tithe in kind." June 2, 1801. ཐ་་་་་ It is said, that Menou's artillery is drawn by Abyssinian oxen, which, according to the practice described by the late Mr. Bruce, serve at once for beasts of draught and food to the cannoneers. their march from Cairo to Alexandria, they regu On larly breakfasted, dined, and supped on slices from the living ox, then stitched up the skin, and drove on the animals in the yoke as before, till the journey and the ox ended together! THE LITTLE CAPTAIN; A REMARKABLE INSTANCE OF VALOUR AND N the beginning of the summer, 1708, Queen Anne among many other ships which were put in commission, had one, a vessel of 70 guns, commanded by Smith, a concealed papist, and one who bore an implacable hatred to his country. His ship was stationed to guard the coasts; and, as it did not compose part of any fleet, the captain was at liberty to cruize with her as he thought proper. He accordingly sailed to Gottenburgh, where he sold her majesty's ship of war, whether to the King of Sweden, or to private merchants, history does not say. Be that as it will, Mons. Mezeray affirms, he received the price; and immediately after retired into France, to offer his services to Louis XIV. against his native country. The king received him very graciously, and promised him the first captain's commission that should be vacant; but, in the meantime, advised him to serve as a volunteer aboard the galley of M. Langeron, at Dunkirk; and that orders should be given to receive him with that respect which was his due. The advice of kings is but a concealed manner of commanding, at least Smith took it in that light, and obeyed. The Chevalier Langeron received him very politely, and entertained him at his ownexpence. The French historian says, in all our fruitless expeditions to the coast of England, Smith's was one. He often advised a descent upon that coast, in order to burn the towns, that he might at once have an opportunity of shewing his |