wha' hoa! Mrs. Ford, Step into the chamber, Sir John. [Exit FALSTAFF. Enter MRS. PAGE. Mrs. Page. How now, sweatheart? who's at: home beside yourself? Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people. Mrs. Ford. No, certainly ;-speak louder. [Aside. Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here. Mrs. Ford. Why? Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again: he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, Peer out, peer out! that any madness, I ever yet beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here. Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him? Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to my husband he is now here; and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page? Mrs. Page. Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon. Mrs. Ford. I am undone !-the knight is here. Mrs. Page. Why, then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead man. What a woman are you? --Away with him, away with him, better shame than murder. Mrs. Ford. Which way should he go? how should I bestow him? Shall I put him into the basket again? Re-enter FALSTAFF. Fal, No, I'll come no more i' the basket: May I not go out, ere he come? Mrs. Page. Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? Fal. What shall I do?--I'll creep up into the chimney. Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguised, Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape. Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief. Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford," has a gown above. Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: Run up, Sir John Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: mistress Page and I will look some linen for your head. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight: put on the gown the while. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her. Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide bis cudgel afterwards! Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelliMrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, is he; and talks gence. Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time. let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford.10 Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they for him straight. [Exit. Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough. We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, Wives may be merry, and yet honest too: We do not act that often jest and laugh; "Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. [Exit. Re-enter MRS. FORD, with two Servants. Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again en your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him, quickly despatch. 1 Serv. Come, come, take it up. Exit. 2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again. 1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead. Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAIUS, and SIR Ford, Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again?-Set down the basket, villain:-Somebody call my wife :seri-You, youth in a basket, come out here!-O, you 7 i. e. a list, an inventory, or short note of. 1 Quick, alert. The word is sprack. 2 So, in Hamlet; To do obsequious sorrow. The epithet obsequious refers, in both instances, to the ousness with which obsequies are performed. 3 i. e. lunacy, frenzy. 4 Shakspeare refers to a sport of children, who thus call on a snail to push forth his horns: "Peer out, peer out, peer out of your hole, Or else I'll beat you as black as a coal," 5 This is one of Shakspeare's anachronisms; he has also introduced pistols' in Pericles, in the reign of Antiochus, two hundred years before Christ. 6 This phrase has been already noticed. It occurs again in As You Like It, in the sense of do: Now, sir, what make you here?" It also occurs in Hamlet, Othello, and Love's Labour's Lost. 9 In the early 4to. it is: y maid's aunt Gillan of Brentford." 9 A hat composed of the weaver's tufts or thrums, of of very coarse cloth. A muffler was a part of female at tire which only covered the lower part of the face. 10 This old witch Jyl or Gillian of Brentford seems to have been a character well known in popular story at the time. Jyl of Brentford's Testament was printed by Copland long before, and Laneham enumerates it as in the collection of Capt. Cox, the mason, now well known to all, from the mention of him in the romance of Kenilworth. SCENE IV. MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a pack, Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed. Enter MRS. FORD. Ford. So say I too, Sir.-Come hither, mistress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that ha the jeait cause, lous fool to her husband!-I suspect wit mistress, do I? ou do, if Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witnes you suspect me in any dishonesty. Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hol Come forth, sirrah. [Pulls the clothes Page. This passes! out. if the basket. Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamea? let the clothes alone. Ford. I shall find you anon. Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away. Ford. Empty the basket, I say. Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket: Why may not be be there again? In my house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable: Pluck me out all the linen. Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death. Page. Here's no man. Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master Ford; this wrongs you.3 you. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it ;-'Tis a goodly Ford. Hang her, witch! Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler. Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: [Exeunt PAGE, FORD, SHALLOW, and EVANS. Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hang o'er the altar; it nath done meritorious service. Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of woman-hood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in feesimple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him? Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers. Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and, metninks, there would be no periodo to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed. Mrs. Page. Come to the forge with it then, shape [Exeunt. Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jea-it: I would not have things cool. lousies. Ford. Well, he's not here I scek for. Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time; if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that searched Satisfy me a hollow walnut for his wife's leman.4 once more; once more search with me. Mrs. Ford. What Koa, mistress Page! come you, and the old woman down; my husband will come into the chamber. Ford. Old woman! What old woman is that? Mrs. Ford. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery' as this is; beyond Come down; our element; we know nothing.you witch, you hag you; come down, I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman. Enter FALSTAFF in women's clothes, led by MRS. PAGE. Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me Ford. I'll prat her:Out of my door, you SCENE HI. A room in the Garter Inn. Enter Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of Host. They shaji have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'li sauce them: they have had my house a week at command; I have turned away my other [Exeuni. guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them; Come. PAGE, FORD, MRS. PAGE, MRS. FORD, and SIR SCENE IV. A Room in Ford's House. Enter HUGH EVANS. Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon. Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant? Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour. rather will suspect the sun with cold,12 In him that was of late an heretic, acquired her knowledge of these terms he has not in- 9 This is another forensic expression. Mr. Steevens 6 Means much the same as scall or scab, from Rog-says that the meaning of the passage is." he will not neuse, Fr. 7 Expressions taken from the chase. Trail is the nake further attempts to ruin us by corrupting our virtue and destroying our reputation." 10 i. e. right period, or proper catastrophe, 11 To come off is to pay, to come down (as we now say,) with a sum of money. It is a phrase of frequent occurrence in old plays. 12 The reading in the text was Mr. Rowe's. The eld copies read 'Irather will suspect the sun with gold' Page. "Tis well, 'tis well; no more. But let our plot go forward: let our wives Page. How to send him word they'll meet him a the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll never come. Eva. You say, he has been thrown into the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman; methinks there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires. Page. So think I too. Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes, And let us two devise to bring him thither. Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, In a most hideous and dreadful manner : Mrs. Page. Ford. The children must Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a Jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber. Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards. Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies, Finely attired in a robe of white. Page. That silk will I go buy-and in that time Ford. Nay, I'll to him again in name of Brook: perties." And tricking for our fairies. Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries. [Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS. You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know, And none but he, to marry with Nan Page. Page. Why, yet there want not many, that do fear Mrs. Ford. Marry, this is our device; What shall be done with him? what is your plot? 4 Nan Page my daughter, and my little son, Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth, Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound," And burn him with their tapers. 1 To take signifies to seize or strike with a disease, to blast. So, in Lear, Act ii. Sc. 4: 'Strike her young bones, ye taking airs, with lame ness." And in Hamlet, Act. i. Sc. 1: "No planets strike, ร No fairy takes, no witch has power to charm." "Of a horse that is taken. A horse that is bereft of his feeling, moving, or stirring, is said to be taken, and in sooth so he is, in that he is arrested by so villanous a disease: yet some farriers, not well understanding the ground of the disease, conster the word taken to be stricken by some planet, or evil spirit, which is false." -C. vii. Markham on Horses, 1595. Thusalso in Hor. man's Vulgaria, 1519. "He is taken, or benomed. Attonitus est." 4 Elf, hobgoblin. That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot; SCENE V. A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter HOST ་ Host. What would'st thou have, boor? what, thick-skin? speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap. Sim. Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender. Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropo phaginian unto thee: Knock, I say. Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, in deed. Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls. Fal. [above.] How now, mine host? Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye! occurs in this sense: "speak you Welsh to him: I doubt not but thy speech shall be more diffuse to him, than his French shall be to thee." Cotgrave explains diffused by the French diffus, espars, obscure, aud in Cooper's Dictionary, 1584, I find obscurum interpreted obscure, difficult, diffuse, hard to understand. Skelton uses diffuse several times for strange or obscure; for instance, in the Crown of Laurel : "Perseus pressed forth with problems diffuse." 6 To-pinch to has here an augmentative sense, like be has since had: all was generally prefixed, Spenser has all to-torn, all to-rent, &c. and Milton in Comus ali to-ruffled. 7 Sound, for soundly, the adjective used as an adverb 8 Properties are little incidental necessaries to a thea. tre: tricking is dress or ornament. 9 The usual furniture of chambers, at that time, was a standing-bed, under which was a trochle, truckle, or running bed: from trochlea, a low wheel or castor. In the standing bed lay the master, in the truckle the ser vant. Some diffused song, appears to mean some obscure 10 i. e. a cannibal: mine host uses these fustian words strange song. In Cavendish's Life of Wolsey the word | (o astonish Simple. Enter FALSTAFF. Fal. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone. Sim. Pray you, sir, was't not the wise, woman of Brentford? Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her? Sim. My master, sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man that beguiled master Slender of his chain, cozened him of it. Sim. I would I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him. Fal. What are they? let us know. Sim. I may not conceal them, sir. Sim. Why, sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no. Fal. "Tis, 'tis his fortune. Sim. What, sir? Fal. I would all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed, and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgeled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots warrant they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I for wore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.— with me; Enter MRS. QUICKLY. Now! whence come you? Quick. From the two parties, forsooth. Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear. Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant, speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her. Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue! I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the Fal. To have her, or no: Go; say, the woman stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. told me so. Sim. May I he so bold to say so, sir? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning Enter BARDOLPH. Burd. Out, alas, sir! cozenage! mere cozenage! varletto. Bard. Run away with the cozeners: for so soon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses. Host, They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not say, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter SIR HUGH EVANS. Eva. Where is mine host? Host. What is the matter, sir? Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there 1s a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three cousin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and it is not convenient you should be cozened: Fare [Exit. you well. Enter DOCTOR CAIUS. Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre. Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma. Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat : but it is tell-a me, dat you make grand preparations for a duke de Jarmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Exit. Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone ! [Exeunt HOST and BARDOLPH. 1 He calls poor Simple muscle-shell, because he stands with his mouth open. 2 i. e. Scholar-like. 3. To pay, in Shakspeare's time, signified to beat; in which sense it is still not uncommon in familiar lan. Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. [Exeunt Fal. Come up into my chamber. Fent, Yet hear me speak: Assist me in my pur- And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee Fent. From time to time I have acquainted you Her mother, even strong against that match, 4 Primero was the fashionable game at cards in To take her by the hand, and bid her go, Host. Which means she to deceive? father or Shal. That's good too: But what needs either your mum, or her budget; the white will decipher her well enough.-It hath struck ten o'clock. Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil,' and we shall know him by his horns. Let's away; follow me. [Exeunt. SCENE III. The Street in Windsor. Enter MRS. PAGE, MRS. FORD, and Dr. CAIUS.. Mrs. Page. Master doctor, my daughter is in hand, away with her to the deanery, and despatch it quickly: Go before into the park; we two must go together. Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with me:green; when you see your time, take her by the And here it rests,-that you'll procure the vicar To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, And, in the lawful name of marrying, To give our hearts united ceremony. Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar: Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. ACT V. SCENE I. A Room in the Garter Inn. FALSTAFF and MRS. QUICKLY. Caius. I know vat I have to do; Adieu. Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit CAIUS.] My husband will not rejoice so much at the abuse of Falstaff, as he will chafe at the doctor's marry. ing my daughter: but 'tis no matter; better a little chiding, than a great deal of heart-break. Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now, and her troop of fairies? and the Welsh devil, Hugh? Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard by Herne's oak, with obscured lights; which at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will Enter at once display to the night. Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns. Fal. Away, I say; time wears: hold up your [Exit MRS. QUICKLY. Enter FORD. How now, master Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be in the Park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you shall see wonders. you Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sır, as you told me you had appointed? Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amazed, he will be mocked; if he be amazed, he will every way be mocked. Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely. Windsor Park. Enter SIR HUGH Eva. Trih, trib, fairies; come; and remember your parts: be pold, I pray you; follow me into the pit; and when I give the watch-'ords, do as I pid you; Come, come; trib, trib. [Exeunt. Fal. I went to her, master Brook, as you see, SCENE V. Another part of the Park. Enter FALSTAFF disguised, with a buck's head on. like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave, Ford, her husband, hath the finest mad devil of jea- minute draws on: Now, the hot-blooded gods assist lousy in him, master Brook, that ever governed me :-Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy frenzy. I will tell you.-He beat me grievously, Europa; love set on thy horns-O powerful love! in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, that, in some respects, makes a beast a man; in master Brook, I fear not Goliath with a weaver's some other, a man a beast.-You were also, Jupibeam; because I know also, life is a shuttle.4 Iter, a swan, for the love of Leda ;-0, cmnipoam in haste; go along with me; I'll tell you all, master Brook. Since I plucked geese, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you strange things of this knave Ford: on whom to-night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his wife into your hand.-Follow: Strange things in hand, master [Exeunt. Enter PAGE, Brook! follow. SCENE II. Windsor Park. Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her, and we have a nay-words how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry, mum; she cries, budget; and by that we know one another. 1 Quaint, here, may mean neatly, or elegantly, which were ancient acceptations of the word, and not fantastically: but either sense will suit. 2 Keep to the time. 3 i. e. walk: to mince signified to walk with affected delicacy. An allusion to the Book of Job, c. vii. v. 6. My days are swifter than a weaver's shuttle. 6 To strip a wild goose of its feathers was formerly an act of puerile barbarity. 6 Watchword. tent love! how near the god drew to the complexion of a goose ?-A fault done first in the form of a beast ;-O Jove, a beastly fault! and then another fault in the semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a foul fault.-When gods have hot backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest: send me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow? Who comes here? my doe? Enter MRS. FORD and MRS. PAGE. Mrs. Ford. Sir John? art thou there, my deer? my male deer? Fal. My doe with the black scut?-Let the sky Sleeves; hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of Green let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here. [Embracing her. 7 Page indirectly alludes to Falstaff, who was to have horns on his head. 8 This is technical. "During the time of their rut the harts live with small sustenance.-The red mushroome helpeth well to make them pysse their greace they are then in so vehement heat."-Turberville's Book of Hunting, 1575. 9 The sweet potato was used in England as a delica. cy long before the introduction of the common potato by Sir Walter Raleigh in 1586. It was imported in considerable uantities from Spain and the Canaries, and |