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ground. Why? Because he has head a-one side, stuck our tongue to flop and flop, and keep a flop-out of our mouth, and tried. And pin' before he can coax the air to here we are, reader, tuggin' at the come under his wings. Having oar like a gallery-slave for your adequately done so, not the least benefit, with nothin' but a mug of difficul'; higher the better; slants beer to help us along, (who will and skims along like a boy on the send half a dozen bottles of the ice; and he who it cost him so much best wine for the editor of the Flagtrouble to rise from the greöund, he Staff: and echo answers who?) and don't care if he never comes down a little dry bread and pork, and a again. So it is with a steam-indian. few beans. Yet we work on, on, We merely wish to illustrate the on; with ability we presume. Many principle, as we have pledged our encouragin' fax have cum to our selves to stand up for principles, notis. Subscribers are flockin' and we will adhere to it upon from all parts of the ked'ntry to honor. It can hardly get off at the Flag-Staff. Yet we feel confust without enough ile to light a strained to reiterate the cry, circity, and then with a kind of whoop- kelate! cirkelate ! It is a good in'-cough spazzum and convulsion; paper. The editorials are marked arterward it goes over the Long- by candor and great freedom, and Island rail-road track at thirty no inconsiderable degree of talent. miles an hour (tickets to be had at As an advertising medium it is bethe depo,) and done it easy. Just yond question. Mr. J. W. Smith, so it is with an ole gennelman. It of the superior court, met us in is hard for him to get out of his the street the other day. Says he, cheer, but when he done so, walk Wagstaff, you're lookin' uncomfive miles before breakfast and monly well.' Says we, 'Sir, your think nothin' of it. And so it was most.' Said he, Wagstaff, your when we begun to write this editorial leader for 'Flag-Staff.' come tough. We did n't feel like writin' it. They were cryin' out 'copy' from the inner offis. Mr. Thomas come up to us and said, Seriously, my dear Sir, we must be furnished with copy! (slapping us onto the back) the press waits for it; the roller-boy is biting his fingers, yet he must be paid; we can't afford to pay him for bitin' his fingers; there is also the devil to pay; several hundred subscribers are now at the door waitin' for their number.' We said to him, 'It shall be done!'

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paper is attracting a good deal of It notice: set me down for a dozen copies.' We replied that our supscription was paid in adwance, to which he answered, pulling out his pocket-book; but one of the Wisconsin one-dollar Snake Valley Banking Company Bills, P. Pitcher, Cashier, has proved counterfeit, which we shall return. W. Smith is full of the marrow fat of human keïndness. CLARK'S KNICKERBOCKER MAGAZINE copies out nearly our hull issoo verbattim et literrattim, and not one word of credit. This, we put it to that functionerry, and to other editors who do the same, is hardly fair. Our articles are compacted with a degree of care. Credit to whom credit is doo. The St. Louis newspaper says he has split off all the

We hitched ourself in our chair, unbuttoned our suspenders, turned up our risbans, put our legs out of the winder, nibbed our pen,smoothed down our paper, canted our

cept, but won't. It would take up

buttons onto his waistcoat in read ing us, and he wants to know, if too much time. Yet we cannot we come that way, will we come forbear to put it to the venders of and see him. Yes, dear friend, medicines, of patent medicines, we thank you; we will come, and those benefactors of the race, those bring some buttons with us, pa- worthy individooals, who have tented by our affectionate brother, taken the pledge against mercury! now no more, (late of Shirt-Tail winged, heathen, unchristian god; Bend,) which button themselves. those professors whose medicines The main superiority of these but- are based upon true science; who tons over hooks-and-eyes is, that have spent years of study, tears of they are ornamental, hitch tighter, agony, in their concoction, worn and hold faster; and when once out pestles and mortars; those pabuttoned, we will bet a load of trons of newspapers devoted to adshingles that a team of oxen can- vertisements; those be-persecuted not drag them onbuttened. The article is ten shillings a gross, and we are agents. Apply at Bunkum Flag-Staff.

So the Spirit of the Times also copies us. In the ked'ntry. we are sought after with much vidrulence. A little suckumstance lately happened. In one of the adj'inin' towns, as our carrier was distributing, he was nearly torn in pieces by a lawless mob, who in great eagerness to get the paper, (with out payin' subscription, be it observed,) set on him, but he being sturdy, and a strong fellow, beat them off, and sent us word by telegraff. We therefore, to punish such conduck, having in vain applied for redress, hereby offer the following rewards: TO THOSE WHO WILL DETECT THE SAID OFFENDERS, HAVE THEM TRIED, CONVICTED, SENTENCED AND PUT INTO JAIL, FIVE COPIES OF THE FLAG-STAFF FOR ONE YEAR! TO THOSE WHO WILL INDICATE THEM SO AS WE CAN LAY HOLD OF THEM WITH ANY PROBABLE DEGREE OF CERTINGTY OF SUCCESS, ONE COPY OF THE FLAGSTAFF; and this we will adhere to upon honor. Fiat justishier! Where has justice fled? And so we suppose we might go on, addin' line to line and precept to pre

gentlemen who have so much to contend against; those cruellywronged gentlemen, whose specifics are mimicked and imitated, and copied and burlesqued, whereby vile, worthless, spurious drugs are actually foisted upon the disordered stomachs of community; those gentlemen, whose life-preserving panaceas are recommend. ed by colleges of medicine, and approved of by the faculty; stamped with seal, and signatoor, and coat of arms; we appeal to these gentlemen to patronize the FlagStaff. It will make them roll in their carriages while other of their fellow men are rolling in their hearse! Cirkelate! cirkelate ! It promotes morals. Pickleby has made a fortin'. The Raxamillion Vermifuge will be a mine of California gold to its possessor! The Medicated Apple-Saäs is adoin' well! Oh! oh! thou palefaced, cruel Death! thine arrows, bedipped with p'ison, have been turned aside! Health blooms on the cheeks! the heart's life-blood flows amain! the elastic foot stamps the earth! to breathe is luxury! To die! to die! ay, there's the rub! But whither are we goin'? Writin' on, writin' on for your benefit, reader, while the

night-watches is fast waning, and the clock tolls the hour for retiring; strivin', in our pecooliar way, to do some good to our feller men, and pledged to the Principles of '93. For further partickelers see large head.

Among many flattering enconiums we clip out the following as regards the Flag-Staff, which is hailed with one universal acclamation of the press at large:

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It is an excellent sheet.'

Western Eagle. Speaking of the editor: He is a bird, and shows considerabul talons.'

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Miami Messenger.

Will the editor call on us, should he come this way?' St. Louis Paper. 'It contains many judicious articles.' Oswego Valley Gazette. It contains many butterfly flights of fancy.'

Ladies' Rose Bud.

We hail with delight.'.

Miss Petit's Magazine. It is a delectable sheet, full of zest.' Mary Ann Ponsonby's Gazette. 'The Bunkum Flag-Staff is always Dollar Newspaper. We always wait for the Flag-Staff with impatience.'

welcome.'

Four Shilling Newspaper.

'Send us fifteen copies.'

John W. Jenks, of Choko.

'I like it very much.'

Your affectionate Brother.

WE are in want of a load of shavins for kindlins in our offis this winter. Which of our subscribers, who has the article in hand, will send it around, together with a load or two of bark, peét, coal or cord wood, either hickory, birch, saxafax or live ash? Which of our subscribers will do it, and consider their hand shook? The opportunity is now open for competition. Dear friends, kind friends, all the

titles of good fellowship go with you! Put it in our power, and we will kindle up our stove to a red heat, and so on to a white heat. If you spit onto it, it will fly off in globulies of all sizes, from buck-shot down to robin-shot number five. Delicacy pretty near forbids us to do any think more than to hint upon the topic.

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A LEWZUS NATURY. As long as we've lived to Bunkum, we never see so great a cur'osity as that gig-top child of FANNY COUENHOVEN, down to Dead-Horse Bay. When it was fust announced in CLARK'S KNICKERBOCKER that we was app'inted to go and surwey it, we took our old white postridin' mare and went down to see the little critter, takin' with us an ingen'us young man who sits up types into the Flag-Staff' offis, for to draw a picter of his head with a soft pencil, without regard to expense. You see it up there to the top. It was rather sprinkly but warm weather, and in goin' down we injured our best Bunkum Hat' a good 'eal. The little Luzus Natury was playin' out in front of the house, with its top up, 'cause t was drizzly, as we stated. We let it up and down twice-t old FANNY han't no objection and it works fust rate; wants a little ile, she says, about once-t a-week. It is the most ingen'us Luzus Natury in the whole United'n States'n. It is a-goin' to stay all next week to our house in Bunkum; and them who will forward a six-months' subscription to the Flunkum Bag-Staff' can examine it for nothing; children half-price. It's a most dreadful cur'osity as ever we see any wheres. Its legs is deformed awful, and can't set down without its feet settin' up. Cur'ous! cur'ous!

JOHN B. McGOOSLEY lately come into MAJOR KEOKUCK'S MILITARY EXPEour offis and shook a cow-skin over our RIENCE. -My first essay in arms,' said editorial ears. The reason why JOHN B. the Major, speaking with great pomp and MCGOOSLEY did this, was the alleged os- subdivision of syllables, was on the fourth tensible cause that we had somewhat re of July, onto the Battery. I was aid to flected upon his cuzzin. But does JOHN General MORTON. A distant portion of B. McGoOSLEY think that we care three the line had become entangled. The comjacknives for his cuzzin, or any other rela- mander-in-chief turned and said to me: tive of his 'n? Does JOHN B. McGOOSLEY 'Ma-jor KEO-KUCK, put that line in or-rthink that cow-skins can chain up a free der.' I was taken by surprise. Nev-ar unfettered press? If JOHN B. McGoOSLEY had done such a thing in me life. I was thinks this, JOHN B. McGoOSLEY is very unac-quainted with mil-ing-ter-ry tactics, essentially mistaken; and neither for JoHN but I put spurs to my steed, and in three B. McGoOSLEY or any other McGooSLEY minyeutes time I got that line in or-r-der. shall we falter one iota in the course which I re-turn-ed to the com-mand-er-in-chief. we have marked out. Can it be supposed Said-ah he to me, (I nev-ar shall for-get that every time we sit down to write an the ex-pres-sion,) said-ah he to me: 'Maeditorial leader that we should be think-jor KEO-KUCK, you have KE-HOVERED youring of JOHN MCGOOSLEY? By no means. self with GEL-ORY! And, Sir, I felt that We knew his father very well. He was I had, Sir!'

the most wunnerful sot man in his ways
that we pootty near ever seen. Who is
JOHN B. McGOOSLEY? We answer that
he keeps a grocery-shop. Very well, that
is n't to say, by any means, that because
McGooSLEY is respectable, that he should
be essentially turning up his nose at us,
who are an editor. Have we ever bought
a pound of cheese of JOHN B. McGOOSLEY
that we have n't paid him at a good profit?
Have we ever bought any saleratus of him
and we not do the same? Has JOHN B.
McGoOSLEY ever caught us in an untruth,
or put in a false vote on election day?
We challenge JOHN B. McGOOSLEY! We
double dare JOHN B. McGOOSLEY! We
double, double dare him! We understand
his conduck. The elections are comin, and
he knows we put in a vote for NUBBINS.
Why? Because we know that NUBBINS
is a good man. That's the cause, and
not his cuzzin. But JOHN B. McGOOSLEY
may set his mind adequately at rest. Hold-
ing the cow-skin over our head, says he,
Do you take it back? do you take it
back? eh? eh?" Take what back?'
says we.
'That falsehood,' says he. Oh
certingly,' says we, laughing, if there is
any falsehood in the case we take it back
essentially. Far be it from us to wownd
your sensibilities. The Flag-Staff goes for
truth, not falsehood, Mr. McGooSLEY. We
wish that p'int to be kept distinctly in
view.' This smoothed his fur down a lit-
tle, and Mr. JOHN B. McGOOSLEY walked
out of our offis, lookin' pretty sneaking.
We guess he had better not venture back
again. We are by no means certing that
we will not ring his nose. There is a p'int
said to be beyond puttin' up with, and that
p'int we have e'enamost reached.

Statooary.

POWERSES PROSPERINE, GREEK SALVE, MR. FISHER'S SON AND GINERAL JAXON.—— These four shef doo ver statoos, two of them he and two of them she, we went to see all at oncet for twenty-five cents; that is to say, jest six pence a-piece, United'n States'n currency. They are very remarkable pieces of whittlin. Of the first we have already discussed at large in FlagStaff. Prosperine is an exposure. It is, however, an admirably whittled burst of a female. We thought that a marble shimmy, to fit high up in the neck, would have better fitted it for the altitude and longitude of Bunkum. However, if Mr. PROSPERINE chose to have his wife whittled in that way, why should we blush in our hat about it? We think that this kind of delicacy is carried too far in this ked❜ntry, when no old lady will expose dolls in her shop-winder for sale without'n pinnin letter paper around their wooden nakedness. Who Mrs. PROSPERINE was we dono, but we believe she was the wife of a gentleman who lived in Pensacola. Such is at least the reported fact. Her featurs are mild and amiable, and her hair very hansomely trussed up, but whether she ever scolded her husband the statoo does not indicate. If she is a-livin we wish her well. If she is dead, it will be a consolation to her bereaved acquaintens that so good a likeness has been preserved. Mr. FISHER'S little son, as we have been informed the next statoo is, is exceedingly well done. How it was possible to reöund him off so well, we dono; but we have one remark to

make, both of him and of the Greek Salve. | original composition of his own, which The legs are too reöund and too straight. brought down thunders of applause, and We don't think that any such legs can be called for a repetition three times, but on found in the whole census. Can't be. the fourth M. FIDEL's eyes blazed fire, his Doos well enough to imagine them. Doos mustashes curled up, and he looked as if well enough to peck 'em out in marble; he could have taken all Bunkum into his doos well enough to portray 'em in plas- stomack to once-t. This put Bunkum a litter o' Paris, or to paint 'em; but rest as- tle on his mettle. Did M. FIDEL STICKH, sured, reader, that there ain't any sich a performer from Paris, mean to disobey legs any where. They are beau ideal we the wishes of the sovereign people? Theregrant you, but not enough of the real bow. upon a storm of indignation arose, in the Our own legs are crooked considerably midst of which our parley-voo got up a litmore we know. A moderate size dog could tle mote of sunshine onto his countenance, run betwixt 'em as we are standin' up- and went through it again admirable, in right, and we not know it. And we don't the midst of the most concatenated extabelieve that Mr. FISHER's son, or the Greek cies of applause. M. VICTOR D'ARGent, Salve nother, are constituted so entirely who keeps a candy-shop, biled over, and different from us, who are a freeman, and said we must take his countryman for a hope to fire off a great many bundles of horse or a beast of burden; a remark for crackers. Otherwise, howsever, we like which M. VICTOR richly deserved to be the statoo, and thought it pootty. General hustled out of the room. And we promise JAXON is the most natural thing not to be him that we will do it, shall he do the same alive that we think we pretty near ever again. But the creöwnin glory of the hull seen. In the history of the kedn'try he is evening was Hail Columby, with fixins. one of the tallest men; and the kedn'try We never were more surprised in our life: ought to buy that statoo though they have to we said to ourselves, Can this be Hail sweat for it to the tune of fifty dollars. If Columby, happy land; hail, ye heroes, such a measure were advocated, even at heaven-born band?' Must be so,' says such a price, we dono but what we would vote for it. There he is, with the wrinkles of age onto him. His very wrinkles are his kedn'try's. After the statoos we went to see some picturs, which we will notice more particlarly at some futur time. We noticed an admirable representation of KuPID and SICKY.

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M. FIDEL STICKH. This new performer from Paris made his deboo last -night, and is likely to create a great furore among the dilettanty, connosenty, and habit-ways. The hort-ton have not been -stirred up with such an emuty since the Norway malestrom, OLE BULL. Let us see if we can give our readers a little idea. The opening piece was a fantasia or minor divertisemong, taxing all the powers of M. FIDEL STICKн; a composition, we believe, composed during the intervals of seasickness on his hither voyage. It is an extravaganza, consisting of a connected series of variations, which, considering how, sic he was, does him no small degree of credit. Next came the 'jonquil waltz,' an

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our left-hand man: the bill says so.' The fantasia seemed to begin with the army on the field of Lexington, with the snapping of musketry. So on till we come to the battle of Trenton. We could see the platoons very distinctly wheeling, and the word of command given: Steady, boys! come near! take aim! give it to 'em!' Slambang! and then, the smoke clear away, see 'em a-runnin up the hill. Once more unto the breach, dear friends! once more!" There they go! bands a-playin! flags wavin drums rollin! red-coats entranced behind works! left wing onto the plain! Trenton militia tryin to outflank them! play away with the artillery! Bum! bum! bum! Musketry pop-pop! pop-pop! pop! pp-op !-pp-op !-pp-op! Huzza!-ah! huzza! -huzza! Bang!-bang! They run! - they run! AMINADAB, hold my musket while I take a chaw!' Hurrah!-ah! hurrah! -- rah! Then came in YANKEE DOODLE again. Dressed the poor Yankee in flowers; tied sky-rockets onto his neck; put him in a balloon and set fire to him; when with a spit-spattin, zig-zaggin, rushin, splashin, gushin, set of quivers, quavers, guadalquivers, hemi, demi, semi, hemidemi, dem things of one sort or another, blowed him right smack in the air, and nothin left of him but smoke! The excitement of the audience was wound up, we expect, to about the highest pitch.

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