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Saint Helena, where Mr. CIPRIANI could n't get fire-wood to warm him, nor any good oil to put in his lamp, nor mutton which was worth a single cuss, nor half water enough for his bath, nor half wine enough for his water; and what wine he had was made of sour grapes and sugar-of-lead, giving the poor captyve a stomach-ache every day; and yet BART wants to make out that the overseer 'gin the old hero a good deal more than he deserved! But Mr. BART is an Englishman, and an Englishman is a hectoring bully wherever you find him; and he is n't any thing else.

LETTERS FROM UNDER A BRIDGE. BY N. P. WILLIS.

THIS is the queerest name for a book, is it not, gentle reader, bookish or otherwise, with an eye to the sweet mustiness of Bookdom? And no such title, we dare say, is to be found in the whole Vatican or Bodleian. We have been told that the origin of it is this: Mr. WILLIS having received a sprain of the ankle from treading on a rose-leaf which had been very carelessly thrown into the path by the hand of an east-wind, and for other maladies, was taking a bath or ablution in a meandrous stream in the neighborhood of a rustic bridge. He had put his pantaloons on a large rock, when to his shocking horror he is made aware of the approach of ladies, in which juncture he ran under the bridge. While there his teeming brain conjured up so many pleasant images as to give rise to this book with its title, which we must say is arch. We can't help liking WILLIS's writings, and always have liked them. We never sot down to an essay of his which was n't perfectly unique and readable-through, and dashed off with a concealed art and in a slow hurry. We do n't know where he picks out his words, or how he packs his pretty figures together; we could no more do it, if we had them separate, than we could put together the pieces of an ivory puzzle. But he does work in words as elegantly as an Indian with feathers or moosehair, or a modern lady with bead-work, and the more books he writes the better we like him for it. From writing with a shade over his eyes he throws the light entirely on the objeck. With a perfect indifference of what any body says of him, he goes right ahead, and writes himself into notoriety. We think the Herald' is a blackguard for translating 'N. P.' in his name into Nincom-Poop.'

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We have received several songs, marches, duetts, Donizettis, etc., from the publishers, for which the publishers will please accept our thanks; among them several pieces, as sung by the PUFFINGTONS in costume, All round my Hat, Go it while you 're Young,'My dear Mamma, I told you so,' When my Eye,' etc., 'The California Quick-Step,' 'GUNG'L's Brass Band,'Hug and Squeeze Me Polka,' 'Office-Seeker's Manual,' etc. We also find on our table The Milliners' Magazine,' with an engraving of new patent stays, calico prints and muslin de laines, with sundry pamphlets too tedious to mention, which shall be referred to in due time.

Advertisements.

FOR SALE, an Old Blind Horse, deaf in one of his ears. Twenty-five years ago, when we first owned him, he wept out his eyes like amber and plum-tree gum, from working many years in a cider mill; also in a horse-boat, now superseaded by steam. He is not offered for practical work, but it is thought that an enterprising man could make a good show of him by pulling out the hairs of his tale with a tweezers; and supposed, from his great age, they would come easy. To those who come quick, he will be offered a great bargain, and warranted to hang on for a twelvemonth. ml istf.

WANTED. Two or three hundred smart, active, enterprising young men, to travel in the States, Oregon, Texas and California, to VOL. XXXIV.

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mento, which he will dispose of a great bar-
gain. Also, a couple of cider-barrels, which,
from their circular form, can be very easily
rolled from Chagres to Panama. Also, some
large trunks and boxes, for the same route,
and a few sausages.
JOHN TRYALL. mlisp.
MY WIFE SALLY ANN
has left my bed and board
without provocation what-
ever. She has been ugly ever
since I took her, some fifteen
years ago; scratches when
she's mad, and gets the his-
terricks at a moment's warn-
ing. She's a dangerous wo-
man, I being entirely taken
in by her beauty, which served me right. I
never was so sick of any job. I hope nobody
will catch her and bring her back. No debts
paid of her contracting.
3t is.
DUSENBERRY SNODGRASS.

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STRAYED into the subscriber's enclosure, small yaller goslin, with part of the shell stikin to him, supposed to be recently hatched. The owner can have him by proving property, paying charges, and take him away. A. B. m2 p2is.

Common reason will tell you that it is the BLOOD: its circulation discovered by HARVEY some years ago, and has continued to flow ever since. Now what does common reason tell you to do? Keep the source of life pure. Purge! purge! purge! If the blood is all pure, then of course the streams will take the character of the fountain. Why is it that mankind have remained so long in the dark with respect to this fact? We will tell you. It is because charlatanism has stalked abroad in the earth. When so many impostors are vending their drugs and rostrums, to the ruin of the health, can it be wondered that a deaf ear is turned to the plainest, simplest reasons of philology, philosophy and common sense? Read the following: READ!

From Miss TABITHA TITMOUSE:

laboring under an unpleasant breath. Although 'DEAR SIR: For fifteen years or more I was it was not any particular inconvenience to myself, it was noticeable by my friends, and I nial prospects, as I have been deserted by s have reason to think, impeded my matrimo ral lovers, and remain unmarried to this day. In this unfortunate predicament, I heard by accident of your pill, and after fifteen boxes experienced relief. My breath was entirely changed; so much so, that there is now a young unbeknown to me, helped himself to a sly kiss, man quite attentive to me, who this morning, und said it was first-rate. A sense of gratitude induces me to make this acknowledgment; and if it can be of any service to you you are welcome to publish it from

'Your grateful servant, TABITHA TITMOUSE.' Extract of a letter from one of the fair sex in Bergen County:

'DEAR SIR: Left an infant by my parents at an early age, I began to swallow needles. I kept up this practice until it became positively deleterious. I at last carried it to such an ex

upon no other diet. After that it preyed upon
my health. My sleep became disturbed, and
my pulse irregular, with frequent palpitations
plexion, I seemed verging to an early grave.
of the heart; and from the paleness of my com-
My friends became alarmed; till reading of
your Life Pill in the 'Bunkumville Chronicle,'
they procured two boxes as a last resort. Since
that I have discharged through the arms, eyes
and brain, many gross of needles, and provi-
dentially have been able to set up a small shop,
you think this will be any service to young la-
on the proceeds of which I am doing well. If
dies in the like situation, you are perfectly
welcome to make what use of it you may deem
fit.
MELISSA G. SNIBS.'
From another lady, who swallowed chalk,

RANDFATHER'S LIFE PILL.-The DocGtor's Grandfather spent a whole life time of arduous study in the composition of these pills, and died in putting the last touches on them. They form the most triumphant result of unintermitted devotion perhaps on record. From the time of his leaving the Edinburgh College till he grew gray in their combination, they have formed a part of his regular diet, and in the last affecting scene of his departure to a better land, where pills will be no more needed, he bequeathed them with a faltering tongue to the bowels of posterity. Children cry for them; and afterward, when they grow up to full age, they continue to use them for stop-treme, that I breakfasted, dined, and supped page. In every steamboat explosion in the country where there has been a box of them on board, they have been found of invaluable service; cure the jaundice. extirpate worms, and is good for fits. There is no obstruction of the human system which does not readily yield to them; and his grandfather has been heard to say they would open a garden-gate. These pills have physicked all the old states of the Union. The Western States, which suffered dreadful from limestone, they keep them regular. More recently, Texas consumed 15,000 boxes, and done him good. The present proprietor sent a box of them to the Dey of Tunis, hoping to get a valable present in exchange; and when it comes to hand he will let you know; in the mean time hopes he remains firmly seated on his throne. The most delicate female may use them with perfect impunity; keep her complexion fair, red and white, and save her ear-rings from rusting, pulse regu lar, and breath sweet. Warranted to sodder up a broken leg. or money returned. In PoorHouses they will be found an excellent specific to relieve the town from porpuses, and the county from tax. In several of these institutions they have been known to make those die easy that would 'a died at any rate, and squenched their sufferings some months previous to the ordinary time. Come and let us reason, fellow citizens, on the philosophy of this pill. Why is it? What is the source of health, strength, happiness nay, life itself?

etc. :

MELISSA SNIBS, I was induced to try your
'Having read the extract of a letter signed
remedy. Besides chalk, I have swallowed
slate-pencils, which with the foregoing would
be enough for all the black-boards and all the
district-schools in the world.
and out of health, but by the blessing of GOD I
am now cured, thanks to your medicine, and
ready to go at it again.
Respectfully yours,

I became sallow

S. JEMIMA CODDINGS.' From the Methodist minister in Columbia, Greene County:

'DR. H. U. M. BUG, Esq., Dear Sir: I have

been suffering for some time under an attack of bronchitis, and my usefulness nearly destroyed. Not knowing what to do, in answer to prayer, I believe I was guided to your Life Pill, and found it fully equivalent to the emergency. After fifteen pills to a dose, I found the complaint give way; and last Sabbath forenoon, being greatly blessed with enlargement, I was enabled to preach for the space of one hour and forty-five minutes to a most attentive auditory, and much good done, which you may attribute to your Life Pill.

Yours in the Lord,

'THEOPHRASTUS HIGGINS.' The above is only a tithe of the communications which we have on hand, recommending the Grandfather's Pill, of which we shall continue to publish the more remarkable of them. The patentee of the pill was himself at one period of life much afflicted with a tendency of blood to the face, usually called blushing; but since he has been engaged in the concoction of this medicine, although not having actually swallowed a single box, he is positively cured, and has not blushed a blush for the last ten years. Facts speak stronger than words. Come ye disconsolate, and buy the Grandfather's Pill. Price 50 cents a box. tfisp.

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Pitiful Pickleby

HON SOIT MAGNETIC GARTERS. This astounding discovery has now been long enough before the age to attest its virtues sufficiently. Thousands and tens of thousands, many of them pinchingly poor, besides being afflicted with various maladies, have come confidently up and spent their last penny upon this panacea in quest of relief. The inventor hasHE following works have been added to the

with a full grown pickle, wreathed about with
a cucumber vine. All infringements upon the
patent will be prosecuted to the utmost ex-
tremity of the law.
uspitf.

BUNKUM BOOK STORE AND CIRCULA-
TING LIBRARY.

pocketed the money, and given them the mag. I library, and additions are constantly made,

netic garters, which has immediately diffused a beautiful stream of electricity all through the system, in most cases giving relief. Those who have been too delicate even to mention the name of garters, have been cured, and spoke of garters in the best society. Since the invention of this remedy the English word leg has come into notice; but for those who object to 'leg,' the inventor, with a kindly regard for the various feelin's of community, has contrived and has now on hand at the Depository an infinitesimal assortment of HONI SOIT bracelets, more valuable than pearl or diamonds for the afflicted. TRY THEM, FRIENDS. For the nervous and afflicted, who dare n't say their soul's their own, these are the things to set them on their 1[p]egs. The clerk in our office, who was modest when he came, by the mere sale of the HONI SOIT GARTERS in three months became positively impudent. He can now gaze on the loveliest face in creation, with a steadiness almost approaching to a stare. Last week in the shop, while exhibiting the article, he addressed a famous actress by name, (he having witnessed her personation of BEATRICE,) whereat she drew herself up to the height of five feet nine inches, in perfect astonishment. This alone is sufficient to show that the HONI Sorr remedies are a perfect cure for bashfulness. In an age when charlatanism and imposture is approaching its acme, it is refreshing to fall in with a remedy which appeals to the highest laws of science. It is now positively ascertained that ELECTRICITY is the motive power of the Universe. This gives the stars their motion and the bull-frog his spring. This is the source of life, and makes the blood circulate and the cheek glow. This fires the cheek of ambition, and is the secret of every throb which animates matter. Wonderful law! yet

which now comprises the most interesting list of novels, etc., in the country; to wit:

The Devil on Two Sticks; Three Spaniards; Abelino, or Noted Bandit; Baxter's Saint's Rest; Roderick Random; Mysteries of Paris; Alliene's Alarm; Don Cæsar De Bazan: a Play; Paul Clifford; Goldsmith's Greece; Paul and Virginia; Elegant Letter Writer; Methodist Hymn. Book; The Way to Live; Tom and Jerry: a Play; The Way to be Happy; The Way to Eat and Drink; The Way to Sleep; The Way to Die; American Joe Miller. In addition to the foregoing, the following: Two Rival Dead Sea Expeditions; treating of the Lake of Asphaltes. A Commentary on the Relative Value of the Ciders of New-Jersey and Pennsylvania, and an excursus on the present method of turning sour cider that is n't worth nothing into sweet champagne. Price $2 per bottle. Ethiopian Song Book; the demand for which is so great, that we heard the publisher say, Blamed if we can knock them off fast enough!' How's Castigated Shakspeare, or the Bard of Avon made fit to be read: executed with much delicacy of discrimination, and with a sensible preface. Also, 'September and Oysters,' by the same author.

This list of books will be continued. Subscribers are respectfully requested to wash their hands before reading, and dog-ears expressly forbidden; but marginal notes in pencil will be permitted, provided they are in the usual formula. Sweet,' 'Beautiful,' 'True,' False,' Excellent,' He seems to speak knowingly,' Affectation,' 'Affecting,' etc., etc. Terms 6 cents a volume per week.

BUNKUM HOTEL AND STRANGERS' PUT-UP, ON MAIN-STREET. The above hotel is now opened, being

newly repaired for the reception of visitors. | sitting-room is furnished with supporters for The kitchen is really worth looking at, being the heels, four or five feet above the head of the much less nasty than other hotels of the same tallest man, so situated that nearly the whole nature. Its cooks are not so greasy, and its person may be exposed to the open window, propinquity to mud-gutters and so forth being where, in the very hottest weather of the dogless apparent. A new gong has been lately days, a desirable breeze comes directly from purchased from Pekin, on which is inscribed, the river. We have never had a customer who in blazing characters, 'Look out for your tym- has complained that his person has suffered panum.' One ole genelman fell dead when he from the heat while sitting at the window. heard it, crying What's that?' When you All have been, without any exception, cooled, come up-stairs the arrangements are equally and that without any resort to fans. Our spitperfect. First, the bar-room is furnished with toons are of the very largest capacity, each the best brandy, also port-wine, as every other computed to hold the allowance of ten men, tavern is on the face of the whole globe, al- which is certainly a calculation with a margin. though Oporto himself could n't father one The ATTICS are above the reach of mosquitoes, drop out of ten thousand. Bunkum, however, these never flying above the first story, and then contains the real stuff. A main feature in this too tired to suck. In short, for cellar, larder, hotel is the SITTING-ROOMS. They are directly kitchen, bar-room and garret, it is believed this on the main street, and pretty much on a level hotel stands unparalleled in the annals of hoswith the pavement. It is computed that there tlery. are at least one hundred beautiful young women, chiefly of BUNKUM, passing up and down at every hour of the day. A sight of these is guaranteed, free gratis for nothing. If they are very beautiful the visitors are permitted to gaze into their very eye-balls, and no charge made. If their proportions are fine, these may also be surveyed, and any remarks made with a leerTPENDENT ECHO is published at Bunkum

and a sneer will be replied to, as there are many gentlemen constantly at this hotel with a taste for these things. Several boarding-schools daily pass by, the teachers only being veiled, the other scholars, from the age of ten to sixteen, are furnished with a variety of virgin blushes, most beautiful to look at. COME AND SEE! The

N. B. The chamber-maids in the entries are a peculiar feature, their altercations with the waiters being highly amusing. The price of board is $2 a day, exclusive of servants, who will not grumble at as much as you're a mind to give. JOHN GUILE, PROPRIETOR.

HE BUNKUM FLAG-STAFF AND INDEat least once a month. Job-work, including horse hand-bills, will be particularly attended to, with neatness and dispatch. Advertisements inserted for little or nothing, if they are suitable. Beans, pork, eggs, hay, grits and shorts, taken in exchange.

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THESE graceful lines, awakened by Spring Violets,' were received somewhat out of season. We should have been glad to have given them to our readers with the dew on them; but there is a vitality in them which has kept them from fading away. ED. KNICKERBOCKER.

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