'Tis singing, not saying;
A fig for all playing,
But playing, as we do, at cards.

I love to see Jonas,

Am pleas'd too with Comus;
Each well the spectator rewards.

So clever, so neat in

Their tricks and their cheating!

Like them, we would fain deal our cards.

Sir Pat. King Lare is touching!--And how fine to see
Ould Hamlet's Ghost! To be, or not to be."
What are your Op'ras to Othello's roar?

Oh, he's an angel of a Blackamoor!

Ld. Min. What, when he choaks his wife!

Col. T. And calls her where?

Sir Pat. King Richard calls his horse-And then Macbeth,
Whene'er he murders-takes away the breath.
My blood runs cold at every syllable,
To see the dagger that's invisible.
Laugh if you please-a pretty play-

Ld. Min. Is pretty.

Sir Pat. And when there's wit in't

[All laugh.

Col. T. To be sure 'tis witty.

Sir Pat. I love the playhouse now-so light and gay,
With all those candles-they have ta'en away!

[All laugh.

For all your game, what makes it so much brighter?

Col. T. Put out the lights, and then

Ld. Min. 'Tis so much lighter.

Sir Pat. Pray, do you mane, sirs, more than you express?

Col. T. Just as it happens

Ld. Min. Either more or less.

Mrs. Qu. An't you asham'd, sir?

[To Sir Pa

Sir Pat. Me !-I seldom blush:

For little Shakspere, faith, I'd take a push. play Ld. Min. News, news!-Here comes Miss Crotchet from the

Enter Miss CROTCHET.

Mrs. Qu. Well, Crotchet, what's the news?

Miss Cro. We've lost the day.

Col. T. Tell us, dear miss, all you have heard and seen.
Miss Cro. I'm tir'd-a chair-here, take my capuchin.
Ld. Min. And isn't it damn'd, miss?

Miss Cro. No, my lord, not quite.

But we shall damn it.

Col. T. When?

Miss Cro. To-morrow night.

There is a party of us, all of fashion,

Resolv'd to exterminate this vulgar passion:
A playhouse! what a place !-I must forswear it;
A little mischief only makes one bear it.

Such crowds of city folks!-so rude and pressing! And their horse laughs, so hideously distressing! Whene'er we hiss'd, they frown'd, and fell a swearing, Like their own Guildhall giants-fierce and staring! Col. T. What said the folks of fashion; were they cross? Ld. Min. The rest have no more judgment than my horse. Miss Cro. Lord Grimly said, 'twas execrable stuff.

Says one- -Why so, my lord ?-My lord took snuff.
In the first act Lord George began to doze,

And criticis'd the author thro' his nose;

So loud indeed, that as his lordship snor'd,
The pit turn'd round, and all the brutes encor❜d.
Some lords, indeed, approv'd the author's jokes.
Ld. Min. We have among us, miss, some foolish folks.

iss Cro. Says poor Lord Simper-Well, now to my mind, The piece is good ;-but he's both deaf and blind.

r Pat. Upon my soul, a very pretty story!

And quality appears in all its glory.

There was some merit in the piece, no doubt:
Tiss Cro. O, to be sure if one could find it out.
ol. T. But tell us, miss, the subject of the play.
Miss Cro. Why, 'twas a marriage-yes-a marriage-stay-
A lord, an aunt, two sisters, and a merchant-
A baronet, ten lawyers, a fat serjeant,
Are all produc'd-to talk with one another;
And about something make a mighty pother!
They all go in and out, and to and fro;
And talk and quarrel-as they come and go
Then go to bed-and then get up-and then-
Scream, faint, scold, kiss-and go to bed again..

[All Laugh. Such is the play-Your judgment-never sham it :

Col. T. Oh, damn it!

Mrs. Qu. Damn it!

1st Lady. Damn it!

Miss Cro. Damn it!

Ld. Min. Damn it!

Sir Pat. Well, faith, you speak your minds, and I'll be free-
Good night-this company's too good for me. [Going.
Col. T. Your judgment, dear Sir Patrick, makes us proud.
[All laugh.

Sir Pat. Laugh, if you please, but, pray, don't laugh so loud.

[Exit.

RECITATIVE.

Cal. T. Now the barbarian's gone, miss, tune your tongue;
And let us raise our spirits high with song.

RECITATIVE.

Miss Cro. Colonel, de tout mon cœur-I've one in petts, Which you shall join, and make it a duetto.

RECITATIVE.

Ld. Min. Bella Signora, et amico mio,

I too will join, and then we'll make a tris. Col. T. Come all and join the full-mouth'd chorus ; And drive all tragedy and comedy before us.

All the Company rise, and advance to the front of the Stage.

AIR.

Col. T. Would you ever go to see a tragedy?

Col. T. A comedy?

Miss Cro. Never, never.

Ld. Min. Never, never.

Live for ever!

Tweedle-dum, and tweedle-dee.

Col. T. Ld. Min. and Miss Cro. Live for ever.

Tweedle-dum, and tweedle-dee,

CHORUS.

Would you ever go to see, &c.

THE END.