Maria's Letter to the Cenfor. univerfal-I very foon repaired this fault, though not without proving myfelf to be a lady Wrong-head at laft; for having fpared no coft or pains to procure the most elegant difhabilles, as well as the very neweft full dreffes-I found myself received by the lady I have just mentioned, with that kind of cool approbation, which fome critics have filed, damning with faint applause -while every invective that vanquished rivalry, and girlish forwardness could fuggeft was thrown out by the more youthful and unguarded part of my acquaintance-It was furprizing that a woman of my time of life fhould drefs fo gay and airy-It was aftonishing how a perfon with my narrow fortune could indulge herself in fuch extravagances-It could not laft long-Or there must be fome fecret friend at the bottom-were the invidious remarks, communicated to me by thofe officious go-betweens who know every thing, vow fecrecy every where, and keep nothing to themselves. However, I had complied with the modifh rules of good breeding and decorum-and was now fit to fee and be seen. Yet after all, extravagance in drefs, is a vice which familiarly creeps in upon us in an un guarded hour-but could its real deformity and its horrid train of confequences, poverty, contempt and mifery, be fairly expofed to view, furely we should never run thus headlong to our ruin, for the fake of appearing well at a parish church, or an affembly. I do not mean to check the luxury of people of high rank and of overgrown fortunes, though they might employ their riches to better purposes, yet as the ftate gairs upon the whole, by the frequent changes of the fashions; I would be underfood to cenfure luxury in drefs only, as an unpardonable vice, fo far as it affects individuals, who, to rival their fuperiors, impoverish them fettes and families, and often leave to the world, as a legacy, a race of wellborn beggars. In a female writer, Sir, you must either pardon digreffions, or forbid their correspondence. I will now come to the main point-the grand facrifice I have made to the falfe notions of good breeding and decorum. I hate cards, Vol 9 but play I muft, or no living at H―d, But Cards were undoubtedly intended as a diverfion, to relieve the fpirits after fatigue; but when playing at them becomes a continual practice, and a daily employment, they must exhaust instead of recruiting the fpirits. From twelve to three, and from fix to nine, B and 10 Maria's Letter to the Cenfor. and at fome houfes to one, the next morning, are the hours devoted to this labour of the mind at Hd. I will leave it to the curate to find fault, if he dare, with this great waste of time, but there are fome other horrid confequences, against which, I must bear teftimony. Being a very poor player, owing to the averfion I always had to cards, it has generally been my misfortune to lofe, and at Whift in particular, I have of ten involved in my fate, many a worthy perfon of both fexes, who could but ill brook it and worfe bear it. And though most people pique them felves greatly upon honour and integrity, yet I have obferved, that both are totally laid afide at cards; for at the making up of the parties I am always fhunned as an infected perfon, by the mafter and mistress of the houfe, who are fure not to place me at their tableAt my own, indeed, I have generally folicited the partnerthip of the rich, inftead of the good player--but who can exprefs the anguith I have felt, when I have feen perfons whom I knew had not one third of my income, lofe guinea for guinea with me. Where can be the honour of that gentleman or lady, who will infit on a perfon's making up a party (who deteits play. ing, and is ignorant of the arts of taking advantages in the courfe of the game, which are no other than fraud and collufier well difguifed) when the confequence is, the involving an affo. ciate who is not in a capacity to sustain the loffes he futters, for the fake of their company? How many young officers gentlemen in public employments -ladies who live upon the intereft of moderate fortunes in the funds, are ruined in the courfe of one winter, by what is called playing very low-at a fhilling or half a-crown whit, or at nearly the fame ftakes for quadrille. It requires no great fkill in arithmetic to fhew that perfons with incomes of two or three hundred pounds per annum, cannot poflibly play frequently on these terms, without impoverishing themfelves and families. As for the winners, in general, they are conftant practitioners, whofe various tricks all fafely deemed within the verge of in tegrity, leave but very little chance to their antagonifts, who play only to comply with custom. In about four months, Mr. Cenfor, I declare to you, upon my honour, that four of my partners at cards have been arrested by their taylors and other tradesmen. Three have taken refuge abroad, to avoid the confequences of their debts; and two most agreeable young ladies, have been obliged to retire to board and lodge in private houses, in obfcure places, at a very great diftance from London, who before made a very genteel appearance, and kept what is called the bett company. Ireckon, likewife, in my lift of the parties I have been at, though they had not the ill fortune to play with me-One great bankruptcy---two feparations from fuppofitions injurious to the ladies characters, who were known to have paid their debts of honour but not to have been furnished with money for that purpofe by their husbands -and one elopement, occafioned by a cruel father's refusing to let a Mifs of fifteen carry a purfe to the card table. How shocking to an humane perfon of generous feelings muft this ketch of the hiftory of card playing, &c. in one fingle village, efpecially when it is confidered, that this is the melancholy fituation of most country towns in England, where there are any number of idle, genteel peɔple. I am not animated, Mr. Confer, with the spirit of resentment, otherwife I could give you fuch an account of the ftau..ch ones here, who add to their incomes every year, by fix or seven hours daily practife, at the card tables, as would make fome folks bluth, even in church-row, and look little, through all their affumed greatnefs and haughty airs-It is but too often that fuch dupes as myfelf keep their carriages upon the wheels, and pay their tradefmen's bills. But I have done, and in expectation of your finding me a fafe and honourable retreat, I subscribe myfelf, Yours, Hd, Anecdotes of Father La VALETTE, a Jefuit. La who Treasurer of the Jefuits in SouthAmerica, found neans to decamp from his fraternity and reached an English colony, where he remained fome time. He had not failed to bring with him a confiderable fum of money, which he remitted to England, and foon after followed it himself. Being arrived in this metropolis, he purchafed ftock in the Alley, to a confiderable amount, difcounted bills, and foon entered upon a mercantile plan, in which he fupported his credit for feveral years. In the mean while he was a man of gallantry and intrigue; had by rotation feveral fine women for his mistref fes, and cne in particular refided with him at his houfe in Warwick-street, Golden-fquare. The Jefuits, who were not a little mortified at being tricked by one of their brethren, promulgated the ftory throughout Europe, and Father La Valette's real character was foon known upon the Change of London; but as he continued to íupport his mercantile reputation by great punctuality and god faith, his bills were equally negofiable as before the probity of the man was not called in question, by the fineffe of the Jefuits; though the gallantries of the priest afforded fcope for coffee-house wit, and tea-table pleafantry. Father La Valette was not, however, a little piqued at this developement of his character by the Jesults, and he refolved upon recrimination. He accordingly expofed their greatest arcanæ, and fet forth their a point of view, that every crowned head in Europe fhuddered to think they entertained fuch monsters in their dominions. In a word, this discovery of their fundamental maxims alarmed all the princes of Europe, and to this they may afcribe their general expulfion. most dangerous tenets in Father La Valette had more than mere revenge in view by thefe accusations; his policy excited him to reprefent his formier brethren as black as he could, that it might form an apology for his conduct in retreating from fuch a horrid affociation; and he thought that his purloining part of their property would therefore be rendered lefs criminal. In the mean while our Jefuit lived entirely upon the bon ton, in a state of the moft refined luxury his country vila, as well as his town refidence, was elegant and magnificent; his miftreffes made a moft brilliant appearance; and he was confidered as a merchant of great credit and property. A sudden fall of the stocks, however, demolished his character in the Alley, he first waddled out a Lame Duch, and foon after appeared a Whereas in the Gazette. He did not furrender to the commiffion of bankruptcy, but decamped for the continent with a very confiderable fum in hand, and is faid to be now at Venice under a feigned name; where, probably, fome of his future manouvres may furnish a sequel to these memoirs. New Taxes propofed to be laid on Bachelors, Dogs and Horfes. HE unhappy mistakes of former neceffaries of life to be taxed, which the poor manufacturing people cannot do without, and at the fame time overlooking objects of growing mifchief, injurious to the good of the ftate, and which would, abundantly better bear taxation than the neceffaries of life, are not more obvious than lamented. objects judiciously and properly bear taxation, are Bachelors, Horfes, and Dogs; to difcourage the too great numbers whereof by taxation, would not only raise money, fo neceffary to amend the finances of the state, in eafe of the enormous fize of the public debt, but B 2 would 12 New Taxes proposed to be laid would also exclufively do much good, in many respects; fift, by putting bachelors in mind of their duty, in endeavouring, according to the will of Providence, to make fome fuitable woman happy, and therein to make themfelves happy alfo: this would raise up a fucceffion of reasonable beings to recruit this exhaufted country, and thereby tranfinit to future ages fome tranf cripts of themselves, to preferve their memory on record, and enjoy the fruits of their labours, after their final fummons from hence to future rewards. I would alfo remark, under the fecond article, that breeding and exporting fuch a prodigious number of horfes, as has been the cafe of late years, not only tends to divert too much of the pafturage to the breed of horses, which thould ferve to raise and feed cattle for food, or, being inade arable, to raise corn, in order to make bread plenty and cheap, but does, very impoliticly, (like patting a fword into the hand of an enemy) too much tend to ftrengthen the armies of foreigners with the best breed of hores, who, being our enemies, may make use of them against us; therefore a high duty fhould be laid on exportation thereof from this country. And in respect of dogs, the monstrous number whereof are very monftrous in many respects, and are very hurtful to the poor, in confuming the meat which thould feed them, it is not improbable, in my cftimation, there may be much more than ten ufelefs, unferviceable dogs in each parish, on an average; but even at that reckoning they would amount to on Bachelors, Horfes and Dogs. near 100,000 in England, and the food they eat would ferve at least half as many poor people who want it, and find it too dear for their purchase: I therefore would propofe, that no perfon fhould keep a dog, or dogs, without a suitable licence, attended with an annual tax in proportion to their stations in life, and to the number allowed to keep. And lastly, the taxes on bachelors, of 24 years of age and upwards, fhould be proportioned to their reputed abilities, of which the churchwardens and overfeers of the poor of each parish will be tolerable good judges; fo putting them into claffes, or taxing them by a pound-rate, in which would be very little difficulty to determine a fuitable method: fo would large fums of money be raised by acts of goodness in lieu of oppreffion, and would turn out, inftead of diftreffing the por, affording them relief; and allo procuring eniolument to the ftate and public good, which fhould ever be the object of minifters attention. AMOR PATRIÆ. P. S. If any fhould object to the reafonab enefs of the bachelors tax, let them confider, that they can well afford to pay a very confiderable yearly fum out of their favings, and that thofe who do their duty in railing families, contribute their answerable proportions, in the enhanced prices of the many neceffaries of life ufed in their families, and fubject to taxation, and. which fingle men are meanly exempt from, by their niggardly, ungenerous, unjustifiable, or unmanly conduct. To the EDITOR of the OXFORD MAGAZINE. SIR, T O what end have we been petitioning and remonftrating! To no end, perhaps, you will say. — But if we have not had the fatisfaction of having our grievances redretid, nor the prayers of our petition attended to, we have had the pleasure of furnishing a pretty child with a pretty play thing. Nay, fome people are of opinion, that the whole affair is nothing more than children's play; and that the pilgrimages fo frequently made to St. James's were only to thew the mazarine gowns of the city fente: I am, however, of a different opinion, and cannot help thinking that the petitions of the city of London, deferved a better fate, than to be hoited into the air at the end of a string, for the amufement of an infant. Your humble Servant, SOLON. |