Eloquence, and the extent of his Learning; but he was more particularly pleased with the laft, as it nearly refembled what happened at the birth of Homer *. CHA P. II. The Speech of Cornelius over his Son, at the Hour of his Birth. NO fooner was the cry of the Infant heard, but the old gentleman rushed into the room, and fnatching it into his arms, examined every limb with attention. He was infinitely pleafed to find, that the child had the Wart of Cicero, the wry neck of Alexander, knot upon his legs like Marius, and one of them fhorter than the other, like Agefilaus. The good Cornelius alfo hoped he would come to ftammer like Demofthenes, in order to be as eloquent; and in time arrive at many other defects of famous men. He held the child fo long, that the Midwife, grown out of all patience, fnatched it from his arms, in order to fwaddle it. "Swaddle him! (quoth he) far be it from me to fubmit to fuch a 'pernicious "Cuftom! Is not my fon a Man? and is not Man the "Lord of the univerfe? Is it thus you ufe this Mo"narch at his firft arrival in his dominions, to manacle "and fhackle him hand and foot? Is this what you "call to be free-born? If you have no regard to his "natural Liberty, at least have fome to his natural "Faculties. Behold with what agility he spreadeth his "Toes, and moveth them with as great variety as his fingers a power which, in the fmall circle of a year, "may be totally abolished, by the enormous confine"ment of fhoes and ftockings. His Ears (which other * Vid Eustath. in Odysf. I. xii. ex Alex. Paphio, et Leo. Allat. de patr. Hom p. 45. VOL. III. << animals 74 "animals turn with great advantage towards the fono"rous object) may, by the miniftry of fome accurfed "Nurfe, for ever lie flat and immoveable. Not fo the "Ancients, they could move them at pleasure, and "accordingly are often defcribed arrectis auribus.” "What a devil (quoth the Midwife) would you have 66 your fon move his ears like a Drill ?" "Yes, fool, "(faid he) why fhould he not have the perfection of a "Drill, or of any other animal ?” Mrs. Scriblerus, who lay all this while fretting at her husband's discourse, at laft broke out to this purpose. "My dear, I have had many difputes with you upon this fubject before "I was a month gone: We have but one child, and "cannot afford to throw him away upon experiments. "I'll have my boy bred up like other gentlemen, at home, and always under my own eye." All the Goffips, with one voice, cried, Ay, ay; but Cornelius broke out in this manner: "What, bred at home! Have I taken "all this pains for a creature that is to live the inglorious "life of a Cabbage, to fuck the nutritious juices from "the fpot where he was firft planted? No; to peram"bulate this terraqueous Globe is too finall a Range; "were it permitted, he should at least make the Tour of "the whole fyftem of the Sun. Let other Mortals pore "upon Maps, and fwallow the legends of lying travel"lers: the fon of Cornelius fhall make his own Legs "his Compaffes; with those he shall measure Continents, "Iflands, Capes, Bays, Streights, and Ifthmuses: He "shall himself take the altitude of the higheft moun"tains, from the peak of Derby to the peak of Tene riff; when he has vifited the top of Taurus, Imaus, Caucafus, and the famous Ararat, where Noah's "Ark first moored, he may take a flight view of the "fnowy Riphæans, nor would I have him neglect Athos "and Olympus, renowned for poetical fictions. Those "that vomit fire will deferve a more particular atten"tion: I will therefore have him obferve with great "care Vefuvius, Etna, the burning mountain of Java, " but chiefly Hecla, the greatest rarity in the Northern "Regions. Then he may likewife contemplate the "wonders of the Mephitick cave. When he has dived "into the bowels of the earth, and furveyed the works "of Nature under ground, and instructed himself fully “in the nature of Volcanos, Earthquakes, Thunders, "Tempefts, and Hurricanes, I hope he will bless the "world with a more exact survey of the deferts of Ara"bia and Tartary, than as yet we are able to obtain : "Then will I have him cross the feven Gulphs, mea*fure the currents in the fifteen famous Streights, and fearch for thofe fountains of fresh water, that are: "at the bottom of the Ocean."-At these laft words Mrs. Scriblerus fell into a trembling: The description of this terrible Scene made too violent an impreffion upon a woman in her condition, and threw her into a ftrong hysteric fit; which might have proved dangerous, if Cornelius had not been pushed out of the room by the united force of the women. Shewing what befel the Doctor's Son and his Shield, on the Day of the Chrift'ning. TH HE day of the Christ'ning being come, and the house filled with Goffips, the Levity of whofe Converfation fuited but ill with the Gravity of Dr. Cornelius, he caft about how to pass this day more agreeably to his Character; that is to fay, not without fome Profitable Conference, nor wholly without obfervance of fome Ancient Cuftom. He remembered to have read in Theocritus, that the Cradle of Hercules was a Shield: and being poTeffed of an antique Buckler, which he held as a most ineftimable Relick, he determined to have the infant laid therein, and in that manner brought into the Study, to be shown to certain learned men of his acquaintance. The regard he had for this Shield, had caused him formerly to compile a Differtation concerning it*, proving from the feveral properties, and particularly the colour of the Ruft, the exact chronology thereof. With this treatise, and a moderate fupper, he propofed to entertain his Guests; though he had also another defign, to have their affistance in the calculation of his Son's Nativity. He therefore took the Buckler out of a Case (in which he always kept it, left it might contract any modern Ruft) and intrusted it to his House-maid, with others, that, when the company was come, fhe fhould lay the child carefully in it, covered with a mantle of blue Sattin. The Guests were no fooner feated, but they entered into a warm Debate about the Triclinium, and the manner of Decubitus of the Ancients, which Cornelius broke off in this manner. "This Day, my friends, I purpose to exhibit my "fon before you: a Child not wholly unworthy of in"fpection, as he is defcended from a Race of Virtuofi. "Let the Phyfiognomifts examine his features; let the "Chirographifts behold his Palm; but above all, let "us confult for the calculation of his Nativity. To this "end, as the child is not vulgar, I will not present him "unto you in a vulgar manner. He fhall be cradled in my Ancient Shield, fo famous through the Uni"verfities of Europe. You all know how I purchased that invaluable piece of Antiquity, at the great (tho' "indeed inadequate) expence of all the Plate of our fa"mily, how happily I carried it off, and how triumph"antly I tranfported it hither, to the inexpreffible grief "of all Germany. Happy in every circumftance, but that it broke the heart of the great Melchior In" fipidus !"? See the Differtation on Dr. Woodward's Shield. Here Here he stopped his Speech, upon fight of the Maid, who entered the room with the Child: He took it in his arms, and proceeded. "Behold then my Child, but firft behold the Shield: "Behold this Ruft,-or rather let me call it this precious "Erugo, behold this beautiful varnish of Time, -this << venerable Verdure of fo many ages In fpeaking these words, he flowly lifted up the Mantle, which covered it, inch by inch; but at every inch he uncovered, his cheeks grew paler, his hand trembled, his nerves failed, till on fight of the whole, the Tremor became univerfal: The Shield and the Infant both dropt to the ground, and he had only strength enough to cry out, "O God! my Shield, my Shield !" The truth was, the Maid (extremely concerned for the reputation of her own cleanliness, and her young mafter's honour) had fcoured it as clean as her Andirons *. Cornelius funk back on a chair, the Guefts flood aftonished, the Infant fqual'd, the maid ran in, fnatched it up again in her arms, flew into her miftrefs's room, and told what had happened. Down stairs in an instant hurried all the Goffips, where they found the Doctor in a Trance: Hungary water, Hartfhorn, and the confufed noise of fhrill voices, at length awakened him: when, opening his eys, he faw the Shield in the hands of the Houfe-maid. "O Woman; Woman!" he cried, (and fnatched it violently from her) "was it to thy igno rance that this Relick owes its ruin? Where, where is the beautiful cruft that covered thee fo long? where "thofe Traces of Time and Fingers as it were of Anti"quity? Where all those beautiful obfcurities, the cause of much delightful disputation, where doubt and curiofity went hand in hand, and eternally exercifed "the fpeculations of the Learned? And this the rude * Poor Vadius, long with learned fpleen devour'd, "Touch |