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himself, by biting his lips? Oh continually, till they are perfect vermilion.-Have you observed him to use Familiarities with any body? " With none but himself: he " often embraces himself with folded arms, he claps his “ hand often upon his hip, nay sometimes thrusts it into to his breast.”
Madam, said the Doctor, all these are strong symptoms; but there remain a few more. Has this amorous gentleman presented himself with any Love-toys; such as gold Snuff-boxes, repeating Watches, or Tweezer-cales? those are things that in time will foften the most obdurate heart. " Not only fo (said the Aunt), but he bought the other “ day a very fine brilliant diamond Ring for his own “ wearing."--Nay if he has accepted of this Ring, tite intrigue is very forward indeed, and it is high time for friends to interpose. --Pray, Madam, a word or two more: Is he jealous that his acquaintance do not behave themselves with respect enough ? will he bear jokes and innocent freedoms? "By no means; a familiar appellation “ makes him angry; if you shake him a little roughly by " the hand, he is in a rage; but if you chuck him under “ the chin, he will return you a box on the ear.". Then the case is plain; he has the true Pathognomick sign of Love, Jealousy; for nobody will suffer his mistress to be treated at that rate. Madam, upon the whole, this case is extremely dangerous. There are some people who are far gone in this passion of self-love; but then they keep a very fecret Intrigue with themselves, and hide it from all the world besides. But this Patient has not the least care of the Reputation of his Beloved, he is downright scandalous in his behaviour with himself; he is enchanted, bewitched, and almost past cure. However, let the following methods be tried upon him.
First, let him *** Hiatus. *** Secondly, let him wear a Bob-wig. Thirdly, shun the company of flatterers, nay of ceremonious people, and of all Frenchmen in general. It would not be amiss if he travelled over England in a Stage-coach, and made the Tour of Holland VOL. III.
in a Track-scoute. Let him return the Snuff-boxes, Tweezer-cases, (and particularly the Diamond-Ring, ) which he has received from himself. Let some knowing friend represent to him the many vile Qualities of this Mistress of his : let him be shown that her Extravagance, Pride, and Prodigality, will infallibly bring him to a morsel of bread: Let it be proved, that he has been false to himself, and if treachery is not a sufficient caute to discard a Mistress, what is? In short, let him be made to see that no mortal besides himself either loves, or can suffer this Creature. Let all Looking-glasses, polished Toys, and even clean Plates be removed froin him, for fear of bringing back the admired object. Let him be taught to put off all those tender airs, affected smiles, languishing looks, wanton tosses of the head, coy motions of the body, that mincing gait, soft tone of voice, and all that enchanting womanlike behaviour, that has made him the charın of his own eyes, and the object of his own adoration. Let him surprize the Beauty he adores at a disadvantage, survey himself naked, divested of artificial charms, and he will find himself a forked straddling Animal, with bandy legs, a short neck, a dun hide, and a pot-belly. It would be yet better, if he took a strong purge once a-weck, in order to contemplate himself in that condition: at which time it will be con, venient to make use of the Letters, Dedications, etc. abovesaid. Something like this has been observed, by Lucretius and others, to be a powerful remedy in the cafe of Women. If all this will not do, I muft e’en leave the poor man to his destiny. Let him marry himself, and when he is condemned eternally to himself, perhaps he may run to the next pond to get rid of himself, the Fate of most violent Self-lovers,
CH A P. XII.
How Martinus endeavoured to find out the Seat of the
Soul, and of his Correspondence with the Free-
IN this Design of Martin to investigate the Diseases of
the Mind, he-thought nothing so necessary as an Enquiry after the Seat of the Soul; in which, at first, he laboured under great uncertainties. Sometimes he was of opinion that it lodged in the Brain, sometimes in the stomach, and sometimes in the Heart, Afterwards he thought it absurd to confine that sovereign Lady to one apartment, which made him infer, that she shifted it according to the several functious of life: The Brain was her Study, the Heart her State-room, and the Stomach her Kitchen. But as he saw several Offices of life went on at the same time, he was forced to give up this Hypothesis also. He now conjectured it was more for the dignity of the Soulto perforın several Operations by her little Ministers, the Animal Spirits, from whence it was natural to conclude, that she resides in different parts according to different Inclinations, Sexes, Ages, and Professions, Thus, in Epicures he feated her in the mouth of the Stomach, Philosophers have her in the Brain, Soldiers in their Heart, Woman in their Tongues, Fidlers in their Fingers, and Rope-dancers in their Toes. At length he grew
fond of the Glandula Pinealis, dissecting many Subjects to find out the different Figure of this Gland, from whence he might discover the cause of the different Tem. pers in mankind. He supposed that in factious and restless-spirited people, he should find it sharp and pointed, allowing no room for the soul to repose herself; that in quiet Tempers it was flat, smooth, and soft, affording to the Soul, as it werè, an easy cushion. He was confirmed in this by observing, that Calves and Philosophers, Tygers and Statesmen, Foxes and Sharpers, PeaQ2
cocks and Fops, Cock-sparrows and Coquettes, Monkeys, and Players, Courtiers and Spaniels, Moles and Misers, exactly resemble one another in the conformation of the Pineal Gland. He did not doubt likewise to find the same resemblance in Highwaymen and Conquerors ; In order to satisfy himself in which, it was, that he purchased the body of one of the first Species (as hath been before related) at Tyburn, hoping in time to have the happiness of one of the latter too, under his Anatomical knife.
We must not omit taking notice here, that these Enquiries into the Seat of the Soul gave occasion to his first correspondence with the society of Free Thinkers, who were then in their infancy in England, and so much taken with the promising endowments of Martin, that they ordered their Secretary to write him the following Letter.
To the learned Inquisitor into Nature MARTINUS SCRIBLE
RUS; the Society of Free-Thinkers greeting.
Grecian Coffee-House, May 70 IT T is with unspeakable joy we have heard of your inqui
sitive Genius, and we think it great pity that it should not be better employed, than in looking after that Theological Non-entity commonly called the Soul: Since after all your enquiries, it will appear you have lost your labour in seeking the Residence of such a Chimera, that never had being but in the brains of some dreaming Philosophers. Is it not Demonstration to a person of your Sense, that since you cannot find it, there is no such thing? In order to set so hopeful a Genius right in this matter, we have sent
you an answer to the ill-grounded Sophisms of those crackbrained fellows, and likewise an easy mechanical explication of Perception or Thinking.
* One of their chief Arguments is, that Self-consciousness cannot inhere in any system of Matter, because all
* This whole Chapter is an inimitable ridicule on Coilins'sarguments against Elarke, to prove the Soul only a quality,
matter is made up of several diftinct beings, which never can make up one individual thinking being.
This is easily answered by a familiar instance. In every Jack there is a meat-roasting Quality, which neither refides in the fly, nor in the weight, nor in any particular wheel of the Jack, but is the result of the whole composition : So in an Animal, the Self-consciousness is not a real Quality inherentin one Being (any more than meat roasting in a Jack) but the result of several Modes or Qualities in the same subject. As the fly, the wheels, the chain, the weight, the cords, etc. make one Jack, so the several parts of the body make one Animal. As perception or consciousness is said to be inherent in this Animal, so is meat-roafting said to be inherent in the Jack. As sensation, reasoning, volition, memory, etc. are the seyeral Modes of thinking ; so roasting of beef, roasting of mutton, roasting of pullets, geese, turkeys, etc. are the several modes of meat-roafting. And as the general Quality of meat-roasting, with its several modifications as to beef, mutton, pullets, etc. does not inhere in any one part of the Jack, so neither does Consciousness, with its several Modes of sensation, intellection, volition, etc. inhere in any one, but is the result from the mechanical composition of the whole Animal.
Just so, the Quality or Disposition in a Fiddle to play tunes, with the several Modifications of this tune playing quality in playing of preludes, Sarabands, Jigs, and Gavots, are as much real qualities in the instrument, as the Thought or the Imagination is in the mind of the Person that composes them.
The Parts (say they) of an animal body are perpetually changed, and the fluids, which seem to be the subjeet of consciousness, are in a perpetual circulation; so that the same individual particles do not remain in the Brain ; from whence it will follow, that the idea of Individual Consciousness must be constantly translated from one particle of matter to another, whereby the Particle A. for