Born in Northamptonshire, and eldest son,
As I suppose, to Robert Faulconbridge,
A soldier, by the honour-giving hand
Of Coeur-de-Lion knighted in the field.
KING JOHN. What art thou?

ROBERT. The son and heir to that same Faulconbridge.

56

KING JOHN. Is that the elder, and art thou the heir ?

You came not of one mother then, it seems.

THE BASTARD. Most certain of one mother, mighty king,

That is well known: and, as I think, one father: 60 But for the certain knowledge of that truth

I put you o'er to heaven and to my mother:

Of that I doubt, as all men's children may.

ELINOR.

Out on thee, rude man! thou dost shame thy mother

And wound her honour with this diffidence.

64

THE BASTARD. I, madam? no, I have no reason

for it;

That is my brother's plea and none of mine;
The which if he can prove, a' pops me out

68

At least from fair five hundred pound a year:
Heaven guard my mother's honour and my land!
KING JOHN. A good blunt fellow. Why, being
younger born,

Doth he lay claim to thine inheritance ?

72

THE BASTARD. I know not why, except to get the land.

But once he slander'd me with bastardy:

But whe'r I be as true-begot or no,

That still I lay upon my mother's head ;
But that I am as well-begot, my liege,-
Fair fall the bones that took the pains for me!-
Compare our faces and be judge yourself.
If old Sir Robert did beget us both,
And were our father, and this son like him;
O old Sir Robert, father, on my knee
I give heaven thanks I was not like to thee!

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80

KING JOHN. Why, what a madcap hath heaven lent

us here!

ELINOR. He hath a trick of Coeur-de-Lion's face. The accent of his tongue affecteth him.

Do you not read some tokens of my son
In the large composition of this man?

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88

KING JOHN. Mine eye hath well examined his parts,

And finds them perfect Richard. Sirrah, speak:
What doth move you to claim your brother's land?
Because he hath a half-face, like my

THE BASTARD.

father.

92

With half that face would he have all my land;
A half-fac'd groat five hundred pound a year !
ROBERT. My gracious liege, when that my father
liv'd,

Your brother did employ my father much,

96

THE BASTARD. Well, sir, by this you cannot get my land:

Your tale must be how he employ'd my mother.

ROBERT.

And once dispatch'd him in an embassy

To Germany, there with the emperor

100

To treat of high affairs touching that time.

The advantage of his absence took the king,

And in the mean time sojourn'd at my father's;

Where how he did prevail I shame to speak,
But truth is truth: large lengths of seas and shores
Between my father and my mother lay,—
As I have heard my father speak himself,-
When this same lusty gentleman was got.
Upon his death-bed he by will bequeath'd
His lands to me, and took it on his death
That this my mother's son was none of his ;
An if he were, he came into the world
Full fourteen weeks before the course of time.
Then, good my liege, let me have what is mine,
My father's land, as was my father's will.

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108

112

KING JOHN. Sirrah, your brother is legitimate; 116 Your father's wife did after wedlock bear him, And if she did play false, the fault was hers;

T

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124

Which fault lies on the hazards of all husbands
That marry wives. Tell me, how if my brother,
Who, as you say, took pains to get this son,
Had of your father claim'd this son for his ?
In sooth, good friend, your father might have kept
This calf bred from his cow from all the world;
In sooth he might: then, if he were my brother's,
My brother might not claim him; nor your father,
Being none of his, refuse him: this concludes;
My mother's son did get your father's heir;
Your father's heir must have your father's land.
ROBERT. Shall then my father's will be of no force
To dispossess that child which is not his ?

128

THE BASTARD. Of no more force to dispossess me,

sir,

Than was his will to get me, as I think.

ELINOR.

bridge

132

Whether hadst thou rather be a Faulcon

And like thy brother, to enjoy thy land,
Or the reputed son of Coeur-de-Lion,

136

THE BASTARD. Madam, an if my brother had my

Lord of thy presence and no land beside ?

shape,

And I had his, Sir Robert his, like him;

And if my legs were two such riding-rods,

140

My arms such eel-skins stuff'd, my face so thin
That in mine ear I durst not stick a rose

Lest men should say, 'Look, where three-farthings goes!'

And, to his shape, were heir to all this land,
Would I might never stir from off this place,
I'd give it every foot to have this face:
I would not be Sir Nob in any case.

144

ELINOR. I like thee well: wilt thou forsake thy fortune,

Bequeath thy land to him, and follow me ?

I am a soldier and now bound to France.

148

THE BASTARD. Brother, take you my land, I'll take my chance.

Your face hath got five hundred pounds a year,

152

Yet sell your face for five pence and 'tis dear.
Madam, I'll follow you unto the death.

ELINOR. Nay, I would have you go before me

thither.

THE BASTARD.

betters way.

KING JOHN.

Our country manners give our

What is thy name?

156

THE BASTARD. Philip, my liege, so is my name

begun ;

Philip, good old Sir Robert's wife's eldest son.

KING JOHN.

From henceforth bear his name whose

form thou bearest :

Kneel thou down Philip, but arise more great;
Arise Sir Richard, and Plantagenet.

160

THE BASTARD. Brother by the mother's side, give me your hand:

My father gave me honour, yours gave land.
Now blessed be the hour, by night or day,
When I was got, Sir Robert was away!

ELINOR. The very spirit of Plantagenet !

I am thy grandam, Richard: call me so.

164

168

THE BASTARD. Madam, by chance but not by truth; what though?

Something about, a little from the right,

In at the window, or else o'er the hatch:

Who dares not stir by day must walk by night,
And have is have, however men do catch.

Near or far off, well won is still well shot,
And I am I, howe'er I was begot.

172

KING JOHN. Go, Faulconbridge: now hast thou thy desire;

A landless knight makes thee a landed squire.
Come, madam, and come, Richard: we must speed
For France, for France, for it is more than need.

176

THE BASTARD. Brother, adieu: good fortune come to thee!

For thou wast got i' the way of honesty.

180

[Exeunt all but the BASTard.

A foot of honour better than I was,
But many a many foot of land the worse.

Well, now can I make any Joan a lady.

'Good den, Sir Richard!' "God-a-mercy, fellow!' And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter; For new-made honour doth forget men's names: 'Tis too respective and too sociable

For

your conversion. Now your traveller,
He and his toothpick at my worship's mess,
And when my knightly stomach is suffic'd,
Why then I suck my teeth, and catechize
My picked man of countries: 'My dear sir,'-
Thus, leaning on mine elbow, I begin,-

'I shall beseech you,'-that is question now;
And then comes answer like an absey-book:
'O, sir,' says answer, 'at your best command;
At your employment; at your service, sir:'
'No, sir,' says question, 'I, sweet sir, at yours: '
And so, ere answer knows what question would,
Saving in dialogue of compliment,
And talking of the Alps and Apennines,
The Pyrenean and the river Po,

It draws toward supper in conclusion so.
But this is worshipful society

And fits the mounting spirit like myself;
For he is but a bastard to the time,
That doth not smack of observation;
And so am I, whether I smack or no;
And not alone in habit and device,
Exterior form, outward accoutrement,
But from the inward motion to deliver
Sweet, sweet, sweet poison for the age's tooth:
Which, though I will not practise to deceive,
Yet, to avoid deceit, I mean to learn;
For it shall strew the footsteps of my rising.
But who comes in such haste in riding-robes ?
What woman-post is this? hath she no husband
That will take pains to blow a horn before her ?

Enter LADY FAULCONBRIDGE and JAMES Gurney.
O me! it is my mother. How now, good lady!
What brings you here to court so hastily?

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