1 щ : 'In the opposite corner there sat another little congregation of strange figures, opeuing their mouths as wide as they could gape, and distinguished by the title of the sweet singers of Israel. I have now,' continued my friend, 'given | backs upon the company, and laying their you an account of those who were placed on heads very close together, I enquired after their the right hand of the matron, and who, ac- religion, and found that they called themselves cording to the order in which they sat, were the Philadelphians, or the family of love. Deism, Judaism, and Popery. On the lefthand, as I told you, appeared Presbytery. The next to her was a figure which somewhat puzzled me it was that of a man looking, with horror in his eyes, upon a silver bason filled with water. Observing something in his countenance that looked like lunacy, I fancied at first, that he was to express that kind of distraction whith the physicians call the Hydrophobia; but considering what the intention of the show was, I immediately recollected myself, and concluded it to be Anabaptism. 'I must not omit, that in this assembly of wax there were several pieces that moved by clock-work, and gave great satisfaction to the spectators. Behind the matron there stood one of these figures, and behind Popery another, which, as the artist told us, were each of them the genius of the person they attended. 'The next figure was a man that sat under a That behind Popery represented persecution, most profound composure of mind. He wore and the other moderation. The first of these a hat whose brims were exactly parallel with moved by secret springs towards a great heap the horizon. His garment had neither sleeve of dead bodies, that lay piled upon one another nor skirt, nor so much as a superfluous button. at a considerable distance behind the principal What they called his cravat, was a little piece figures. There were written on the foreheads of white linen quilled with great exactness, and of these dead men, several hard words, as, Præhanging below his chin about two inches. See- Adamites, Sabbatarians, Cameronians, Muging a book in his hand, I asked our artist what gletonians, Brownists, Independants, Masonit was; who told me it was "The Quaker'sites, Camisars, and the like. At the approach religion;" upon which I desired a sight of it. of persecution, it was so contrived, that, as she Upon perusal, I found it to be nothing but a held up her bloody flag, the whole assembly new-fashioned grammar, or an art of abridging of dead men, like those in the Rehearsal," ordinary discourse. The nouns were reduced started up and drew their swords. This was to a very small number, as the Light, Friend, followed by great clashings and noise, when, Babylon. The principal of his pronouns was in the midst of the tumult, the figure of mothou; and as for you, ye, and yours, I found deration moved gently towards this new army, they were not looked upon as parts of speech which, upon her holding up a paper in her in this grammar. All the verbs wanted the hand, inscribed “Liberty of conscience,” imsecond person plural; the participles ended all mediately fell into a heap of carcasses, remainin ing or ed, which were marked with a parti- ing in the same quiet posture, in which they cular accent. There were no adverbs besides lay at first.' yea and nay. The same thrift was observed in the prepositions. The conjunctions were only hem! and ha! and the interjections brought No. 258.] Saturday, December 2, 1710. under the three heads of sighing, sobbing, and groaning. There was at the end of the grammar a little nomenclature, called, "The Christian Man's Vocabulary," which gave new appellations, or, if you will, Christian names, to almost every thing in life. 1 replaced the book in the hand of the figure, not without admiring the simplicity of its garb, speech, and behaviour. Occidit miseros crambe repetita Juv. Sat. vii. 154. From my own Apartment, December 1. WHEN a man keeps a constant table, he may be allowed sometimes to serve up a cold dish of meat, or toss up the fragments of a feast in a ragout. I have sometimes, in a scarcity of provisions, been obliged to take the same kind of liberty, and to entertain my reader with the leavings of a former treat. I must this day have recourse to the same method, and beg my guests to sit down to a kind of Saturday's dinner. To let the metaphor rest; I intend to fill up this paper with a 'Just opposite to this row of religions, there was a statue dressed in a fool's coat with a cap of bells upon his head, laughing and pointing at the figures that stood before him. This idiot is supposed to say in his heart what David's fool did some thousands of years ago, and was therefore designed as a proper representative of those among us who are called Atheists and Infidels by others, and Free-think-bundle of letters, relating to subjects on which ers by themselves. There were many other groups of figures which I did not know the meaning of; but seeing a collection of both sexes turning their I have formerly treated; and have ordered my bookseller to print, at the end of each letter, the minutes with which I indorsed it, after the first perusal of it. Dining yesterday with Mr. South-British and Mr. William North-Briton, twɔ gentlemen, who, before you ordered it otherwise, were known by the names of Mr. English, and Mr. William Scot: among other things, the maid of the house, who, in her time I believe may have been a North-British warming-pan, brought us up a dish of North-British collops. We liked our entertainment very well; only we observed the table-cloth, being not so fine as we could have wished, was North-British 'We think this matter properly expressed, according to the accuracy of the new style, settled by you in one of your late papers. You will please to give your opinion upon it to, Sir, your most humble servants, 'J. S. 'M. P. 'N. R.' close siege to me, and carry on their attacks with all possible diligence. I know which of them has the first place in my own heart, but would freely cross my private inclinations to make choice of the man who loves me best; which it is impossible for me to know, all of them pretending to an equal passion for me. Let me therefore beg of you, dear Mr. Bickerstaff, to lend me your Ithuriel's spear, in order to touch this troop of rivals; after which I will most faithfully return it to you again, with the greatest gratitude. I am, Sir, &c.' Query 1. What figure doth this lady think her HONOURED SIR, Great Lincoln's-Inn Square, cloth. But the worst of it was, we were dis-lover will appear in? or what symptoms will turbed all dinner-time by the noise of the he betray of his passion upon being touched? 2. Whether a touch of her fan may not children, who were playing in the paved court at North-British hoppers; so we paid our have the same efficacy as a touch of Ithuriel's North Briton sooner than we designed, and spear? took coach to North Briton Yard, about which place most of us live. We had indeed gone a foot, only we were under some apprehensions Gratitude obliges me to make this public lest a North-British mist should wet a South-acknowledgement of the eminent service you British man to the skin. have done myself in particular, and the whole body of chaplains, I hope, in general. Coming home on Sunday about dinner-time, I found things strangely altered for the better; the porter smiled in my face when he let me in, the footman bowed to me as I passed him, the steward shook me by the hand, and Mrs. Beatrice dropped me a courtesy as she went along. I was surprised at all this civility, and knew not to what I might ascribe it, except to my bright beaver and shining scarf, that were new that day. But I was still more astonished to find such an agreeable change at the table. My lord helped me to a fat slice of venison with his own hand, and my lady did me the honour to drink to me. I offered to rise at my usual time; but was desired to sit still, with this kind expression," Come, doctor, a jelly or a conserve will do you no harm; do not be afraid of the dessert." I was so confounded with the favour, that I returned my thanks in a most awkward manner, wondering what was the meaning of this total transformation: but my lord soon put an end to my admiration, by showing me a paper that challenged you, sir, for its author; and rallied me very agreeably on the subject, asking me, See if this letter be conformable to the directions given in the Tatler above-mentioned. 'To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esquire. 'SIR, Kent, Nov. 22, 1710. 66 'A gentleman in my neighbourhood, who happens to be brother to a lord, though neither his father nor grandfather were so, is perpetually making, use of this phrase, a person of my quality." He has it in his mouth fifty times a-day, to his labourers, his servants, his children, his tenants, and his neighbours. Wet or dry, at home or abroad, drunk or sober, angry or pleased, it is the constant burden of his style. Sir, as you are Censor of Great Britain, as you value the repose of a loyal county, and the reputation of my neighbour, I beg you will take this cruel grievance into your consideration; else, for my own particular, I am resolved to give up my farms, sell my stock, and remove with my wife and seven children next spring to Falmouth or Berwick, if my strength will permit me, being brought into a very weak condition. I am, with great respect, sir, your most obedient and languishing servant, &c.' Let this be referred to the Court of Honour. MR. BICKERSTAFF, 'I am a young lady of a good fortune, and at present invested by several lover, who lay ་་ Which was best handled, the lord or his chaplain?" I owned myself to think the banter sharpest against ourselves, and that these were trifling matters, not fit for a philosopher to insist on. His lordship was in so good a humour, that he ordered me to return his thanks with my own; and my lady joins in the same, with this one exception to your paper, that the chaplain in her family was always allowed minced pyes from All-ballows to Candlemas. I am, sir, your most obliged, humble servant, Requires no answer. 'T. W. 'MR. CENSOR, Oxford, Nov. 27. more material intervenes. MR. CENSOR, 'Q. Z.' Doelittle, having said, in the hearing of several credible witnesses,' that the said petticoat was scoured,' to the great grief and detriment of the said Mary Doelittle. There were likewise many evidences produced against the criminal, that though she never failed to come to church on Sunday, she was a most notorious sabbathbreaker; and that she spent her whole time, during divine service, in disparaging other people's clothes, and whispering to those who sat next her. Upon the whole, she was found guilty of the indictment, and received sentence to ask pardon of the prosecutor upon her bare knees, without either cushion or hassock under her, in the face of the court. 6 N. B. As soon as the sentence was executed on the criminal, which was done in open court To be answered next Thursdy, if nothing with the utmost severity, the first lady of the bench on Mr. Bickerstaff's right hand stood up, and made a motion to the court, that whereas it was impossible for women of fashion to dress themselves before the church was half done; and whereas many confusions and inconveniencies did arise thereupon; it might be lawful for them to send a footman in order to keep their places, as was usual in other polite and well-regulated assemblies.' The motion was ordered to be entered in the books, and considered at a more convenient time. In your survey of the people, you must have observed crowds of single persous that are qualified to increase the subjects of this glorious island, and yet neglect that duty to their country. In order to reclaim such persons, I lay before you this proposal. Your most obedient servant, 'TH. CL.'* This to be considered on Saturday next. No. 259.] Tuesday, December 5, 1710. Juv. Sat. ii. 63. Vexat censura columbas, Anon. It Charles Cambrick, linen-draper, in the city of Westminster, was indicted for speaking obscenely to the lady Penelope Touchwood. appeared, that the prosecutor and her woman going in a stage-coach from London to Brentford, where they were to be met by the lady's own chariot, the criminal, and another of his acquaintance travelled with them in the same A Continuation of the Journal of the Court of Honour, held in Sheer-lane, on Monday, the coach, at which time the prisoner talked bawdy for the space of three miles and a half. The twenty-seventh of November, before Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. Censor of Great Britain. prosecutor alleged,' that over-against the old Fox at Knightsbridge he mentioned the word ELIZABETH MAKEBATE, of the parish of linen; that at the further end of Kensington St. Catharine's, spinster, was indicted for sur- he made use of the term smock; and that, bereptitiously taking away the hassock from fore he came to Hammersmith, he talked alunder the lady Grave-Airs, between the hours most a quarter of an hour upon wedding-shifts.' of four and five, on Sunday, the twenty-sixth The prosecutor's woman confirmed what her of November. The prosecutor deposed, that lady had said, and added further, 'that she had as she stood up to make a courtesy to a person never seen her lady in so great a confusion, of quality in a neighbouring pew, the criminal and in such a taking, as she was during the conveyed away the hassock by stealth; inso-whole discourse of the criminal.' The prisoner much, that the prosecutor was obliged to sit all the while she was at church, or to say her prayers in a posture that did not become a woman of ber quality.' The prisoner pleaded inadvertency; and the jury were going to bring it in chance-medley, had not several witnesses been produced against the said Elizabeth Makebate, that she was an old offender, and a woman of a bad reputation. It appeared in particular, that, on the Sunday before, she had detracted from a new petticoat. of Mrs. Mary Thomas Clement. See Tat. No. 261. had little to say for himself, but that he talked only in his own trade, and meant no hurt by what he said.' The jury, however, found him guilty, and represented by their forewoman, that such discourses were apt to sully the imagination; and that, by a concatenation of ideas, the word linen implied many things that were not proper to be stirred up in the mind of a woman who was of the prosecutor's quality, and therefore gave it as their verdict, 'that the linen-draper should lose his tongue.' Mr. Bickerstaff said he thought the prosecutor's ears were as much to blame as the prisoner's tongue, and therefore gave sentence as follows: that they should both be placed over-against one another in the midst of the court, there to remain for the space of one quarter of an hour, during which time the linen-draper was to be gagged, and the lady to hold her hands close upon both her ears;' which was executed accordingly. having told the lady Everbloom at a public ball, The court then adjourned to Monday, the CHARLES LILLIE. Non cuicunque datum est habere nasum. Edward Callicoat was indicted as an accomplice to Charles Cambrick, for that he, the said Edward Callicoat, did, by his silence and smiles, seem to approve and abet the said Charles Cam No. 260.] Thursday, December 7, 1710. brick in every thing he said. It appeared, that the prisoner was foreman of the shop to the aforesaid Charles Cambrick, and, by this post, obliged to smile at every thing that the other should be pleased to say; upon which he was acquitted. Josiah Shallow was indicted in the name of dame Winifred, sole relict of Richard Dainty, esquire, for having said several times in com. pany, and in the hearing of several persons there present,' that he was extremely obliged to the widow Dainty, and that he should never be able sufficiently to express his gratitude.' The prosecutor urged, that this might blast her reputation, and that it was in effect a boasting of favours which he had never received. The prisoner seemed to be much astonished at the construction which was put upon his words, and said, 'that he meant nothing by them, but that the widow had befriended him in a lease, and was very kind to his younger sister.' The jury finding him a little weak in his understanding, without going out of the court, brought in their verdict, ignoramus. Ursula Goodenough was accused by the lady Betty Wou'dbe, for having said, that she, the Lady Betty Wou'dbe, was painted. The prisoner Drought several persons of good credit to witness to her reputation, and proved, by undeniable evidences, that she was never at the place where the words were said to have been uttered. The Censor, observing the behaviour of the prosecutor, found reason to believe, that she had indicted the prisoner for no other reason, but to make her complexion be taken notice of; which, indeed was very fresh and beautiful: he therefore asked the offender, with a very stern voice, how she could presume to spread so groundless a report? and whether she saw any colours in the lady Wou'dbe's face that could procure credit to such a falsehood? Do you see,' says he, any lilies or roses in her cheeks, any bloom, any probability?' The prosecutor, not able to bear such language any longer, told him, 'that he talked like a blind old fool, and that she was ashamed to have entertained any opinion of his wisdom: but she was put to silence, and sentenced to wear her mask for five months, and not to presume to show her face until the town should be empty.' Benjamin Buzzard, esquire, was indicted for Mart. The nose, 'tis said, shows both our scorn and pride: And yet that feature is to some deny'd.-R. Wynne. From my own Apartment, December 6. WE have a very learned and elaborate dissertation upon thumbs in Montaigne's essays, and another upon ears in the 'Tale of a Tub.' I am here going to write one upon noses, having chosen for my text the following verses out of Hudibras: So learned Taliacotius from The brawny part of porter's bum Cut supplemental uoses, which Lasted as long as parent breech; But when the date of nock was out, Off dropp'd the sympathetic snout. Notwithstanding that there is nothing obscene in natural knowledge, and that I intend to give as little offence as may be to readers of a well-bred imagination; I must, for my own quiet, desire the critics, who in all things have been famous for good noses, to refrain from the lecture of this curious tract. These gentlemen were formerly marked out and distinguished by the little rhinocerical nose, which was always looked upon as an instrument of derision; and which they were used to cock, toss, or draw up in a contemptuous manner, upon reading the works of their ingenious contemporaries. It is not, therefore, for this generation of men that I write the present transaction, -Minns aptus acutis -Unfit For the brisk petulance of modern wit. Hor. Francis. but for the sake of some of my philosophical friends in the Royal Society who peruse discourses of this nature with a becoming gravity, and a desire of improving by them. I have seen a Many are the opinions of learned men con cerning the rise of that fatal distemper, which has always taken a particular pleasure in venting its spite upon the nose. little burlesque poem in Italian, that gives a very pleasant account of this matter. The fable of it runs thus: Mars, the god of war, having served during the siege of Naples in the shape of a French colonel, received a visit one night Hudibras, part i. canto i. line 281. 1 from Venus, the goddess of love, who had been I need not tell my learned reader, that Cor- It was a little after this fatal siege of Naples, that Taliacotius* began to practise in a town of Germany. He was the first love-doctor that I meet with in history, and a greater man in his age than our celebrated doctor Wall. He saw his species extremely mutilated and disfigured by this new distemper that was crept into it; and therefore, in pursuance of a very seasonable invention, set up a manufacture of noses; having first got a patent that none should presume to make noses besides himself. His first patient was a great man of Portugal, who had done good services to his country, but in the midst of them unfortunately lost his nose. Taliacotius grafted a new one on the remaining part of the gristle or cartilaginous substance, which would sneeze, smell, take snuff, pronounce the letters M or N; and, in short, do all the functions of a genuine and natural nose. There was, however, one misfortune in this experiment: the Portuguese's complexion was a little upon the subfuse, with very black eyes and dark eye-brows; and the nose being taken from a porter that had a white German skin, and cut out of those parts that are not exposed to the sun, it was very visible that the features of his face were not fellows. In a word, the Comde resembled one of those maimed antique statues that has often a modern nose of fresh marble glued to a face of such a yellow, ivory complexion, as nothing can give but age. To remedy this particular for the future, the doctor got together a great collection of porters, men of all complexions, black, fair, brown, dark, sallow, pale, and ruddy; so that it was impossible for a patient of the most out-of-theway colour not to find a nose to match it. The doctor's house was now very much enlarged, and became a kind of college, or rather hospital, for the fashionable cripples of both sexes, that resorted to him from all parts of Europe. Over his door was fastened a large golden snout, not unlike that which is placed over the great gates at Brazen-nose college in Oxford; and, as it is usual for the learned in foreign universities to distinguish their houses by a Latin sentence, the doctor writ underneath this great golden proboscis two verses out of Ovid: Militat omnis amans, habet et sua castra Cupido; Ovid. Amor. El. ix. 1. The toils of love require a warrior's art; It is reported that Taliacotius had at one of which there The sympathy betwixt the nose and its parent was very extraordinary. Hudibras has told us, that when the porter died, the nose dropped of course, in which case it was always usual to return the nose, in order to have it interred with its first owner. The nose was likewise affected by the pain, as well as death of the original proprietor. An eminent instance of this nature happened to three Spaniards, whose noses were all made out of the same piece of brawn. They found them one day shoot and swell extremely; upon which they sent to know how the porter did; and heard, upon enquiry, that the parent of the noses had been severely kicked the day before, and that the porter kept his bed on • Gaspar Taliacotins was a professor of physic and sur-account of the bruises which he had received. gery at Bononia, where he was born in 1489, and died in 1553, This was highly resented by the Spaniards, who |