THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. ACT I. SCENE I-Windsor.-Before PAGE's House. Enter Justice SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Sir Huon EVANS. Shal. Sir Hugh, persuade me not, I will make a Star-chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, Esquire. [and corum. Sien. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace, Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-ulorum.+ Slen. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman born, master parson; who writes himself armigero; in any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, armigero. Shal. Ay, that we do; and have done any time these three hundred years. Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have done't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may they may give the dozen white luces in their coat. Skal. It is an old coat. Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familar beast to man, and signifies-love. Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the sail fah is an old coat. Slen. I may quarter, coz? • A title formerly appropriated to chaplains. + Cusios rotulorum. Shal. You may, by marrying. Eva. It is marring, indeed, if he quarter it. Eva. Yes, py'r-lady: if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one: if Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements upon you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you. Shal. The council + shall hear it; it is a riot. Eva. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot; the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it. Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions with it there is Anne Page, which is daughter to master George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman. Eva. It is that fery verson for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, upon his death's-bed, (Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage between master Abraham and mistress Anne Page. Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is good gifts. Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is. Falstaff there? Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despsie a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I beseech you be ruled by your well-willers. By our. † Advisement. + Court of Star-chamber. will peat the door [knocks] for master Page. hoa? Got pless your house here! Enter PAGE. Page, Who's there? What, Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and justice Shallow and here young master Slender; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your likings. Page. I am glad to see your worship's well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow. Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wish'd your venison better: it was ill kill'd:-How doth good mistress Page-and I love you always with my heart, la; with my heart. Page. Sir, I thank you. Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. (Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender. Sten. How does your fallow greyhound, Sir? I heard say, he was out-run on Cotsale.⚫ Page. It could not be judged, Sir. Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal. That he will not; tis your fault, 'tis your fault 'tis a good dog. Page. A cur, Sir. Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: Can there be more said? he is good, and fair.-Is Sir John Falstaff here? Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you. Eva. It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? He hath wrong'd me;-indeed, he hath ;-at a word, he hath ;-believe me ; -Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes Sir John. Enter Sir JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NY, and PISTOL. Fal. Now master Shallow; you'll complain of me to the king? Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, kill'd my deer, and broke open my lodge. Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter? VOL. I. • Cotswold in Gloucestershire. R Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer'd. Fal. I will answer it sraight;-I have done all this that is now answer'd. Shal. The council shall know this. Fal. Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel you'll be laugh'd at. Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts. Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me? Slen. Marry, Sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching + rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards pick'd my pocket. Bar. You Banbury cheese!‡ Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ? § Slen. Ay, it is no matter. Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour. Slen. Where's Simple, my man ?--can you tell, cousin? Eva. Peace: I pray you! Now let us understand: there is three umpires in this matter, as I understand that is-master Page, fidelicet, master Page: and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between. them. Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards, 'ork upon the eause, with as great discreetly as we can. Fal. Pistol, Pist. He hears with ears. Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two shillings and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. Fal. Is this true, Pistol? • Worts was the ancient name of all the cabbage kind. + Sharpers. Nothing but paring. The name of an ugly spirit. Few words. King Edward's shillings, used in the game of ahru file-board. Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. I combat challenge of this latten bilbo : * Nym. Be advised, Sir, and pass good humours: I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note of it. Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John? Bard. Why, Sir, for my part, I say, the gentle. man had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! Bard. And being fap, Sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. | Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it. Enter Mistress ANNE PAGE with wine; Mistress FORD and Mistress PAGE following. Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met by your leave, good mistress. [Kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all un kindness. [Exeunt all but Shal. Slender and Evans. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my book of Songs and Sonnets here: Blade as thin as a lath. If you say I am a thief. The bounds of good behaviour. + Lips. § Drunk. |