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Stew. Pr'ythee, if thou love me, tell me. Kent. I love thee not. Stew. Why, then I care not for thee. Kent. If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold”, I would make thee care for me. Stew, Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not. Kent. Fellow, I know thee. Stew. What dost thou know me for? Kent. A knave; a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted stocking knave; a lilyliver'd, action-taking knave; a whorson, glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that would'st be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deny'st the least syllable of thy addition. Stew. Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on one, that is neither known of thee, nor knows thee? Kent. What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou know'st me? Is it two days ago, since I tripp'd up thy heels, and beat thee, before the king? Draw, you rogue: for, though it be night, the moon shines; I'll make a sop o'the moonshine of you: Draw, you whorson cullionly barber-monger, draw. [drawing his sword. Stew. Away; I have nothing to do with thee.
Kent. Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against the king; and take vanity the puppet's part, against the royalty of her father: Draw, you rogue, or I'll so carbonado your shanks:—draw, you rascal; come your ways.
Stew. Help, ho! murder! help!
Kent. Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat slave”, strike. [beating him. Stew. Help, ho! murder! murder
Enter EDM UN D, Cort N w ALL, REGAN, GLosTER, and Servants.
Edm. How now 2 What's the matter? Part. . Kent. With you, goodman boy, if you please; come, I'll flesh you; come on, young master. Glo. Weapons! arms! What's the matter here? Corn. Keep peace, upon your lives; He dies, that strikes again: What is the matter? Reg. The messengers from our sister and the king. Corn. What is your difference? speak. Stew. I am scarce in breath, my lord. Kent. No marvel, you have so bestirr'd your valour. You cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee; a tailor made thee. Corn. Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man? Kent. Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter, or a painter, could not have made him so ill, though they had been but two hours at the trade.
Corn. Speak yet, how grew your quarrel? Stew. This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spar'd, At suit of his grey beard, L Kent. Thou whorson zed” thou unnecessary letter!—My lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this unbolted” villain into mortar, and daub the wall of a jakes with him.–Spare my grey beard, you wagtail? Corn. Peace, sirrah! You beastly knave, know you no reverence Kent. Yes, sir; but anger has a privilege. Corn. Why art thou angry Kent. That such a slave as this should wear a sword, Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as - these, Like rats, oftbite the holy cords in twain Which are too intrinse t'unloose: smooth every passion That in the natures of their lords rebels; Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods; Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks With every gale and vary of their masters, As knowing nought, like dogs, but following.— A plague upon your epileptick visage! Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool? Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain, I'd drive ye cackling home to Camelot”. Corn. What, art thou mad, old fellow *
Glo. - How fell you out? Say that. . Kent. No contraries hold more antipathy, Than I and such a knave. Corn. Why dost thou call him knave What's his offence? Kent. His countenance likes me not. Corn. No more, perchance, does mine, or his, or hers. Kent. Sir, 'tis my occupation to be plain; I have seen better faces in my time, Than stands on any shoulder that I see Before me at this instant. Corn. This is some fellow, Who, having been prais'd for bluntness, doth affect A saucy roughness; and constrains the garb, Quite from his nature : He cannot flatter, he'— An honest mind and plain,-he must speak truth: . An they will take it, so ; if not, he's plain. These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness Harbour more craft, and more corrupter ends, Than twenty silly ducking observants, That stretch their duties nicely. Kent. Sir, in good sooth, in sincere verity, Under the allowance of your grand aspéct, Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire On flickering Phoebus' front, Corn. What mean'st by this? Kent. To go out of my dialect, which you discom
mend so much. I know, sir, I am no flatterer: he that beguiled you, in a plain accent, was a plain knave; which, for my part, I will not be, though I should win your displeasure to entreat me to it.
Corn. What was the offence you gave him?
Stew. Never any: It pleas'd the king his master, very late, To strike at me, upon his misconstruction; When he, conjunct, and flattering his displeasure, Tripp'd me behind; being down, insulted, rail'd, And put upon him such a deal of man, That worthy'd him, got praises of the king For him attempting who was self-subdu'd; And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit, Drew on me here.
Kent. None of these rogues, and cowards, But Ajax is their fool”. Corn. Fetch forth the stocks, ho!
You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart,