Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess. Oli. My servant, sir! "Twas never merry world Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment: You are servant to the count Orsino, youth. Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours: Your servant's servant is your servant, madam. Oli. For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts, 'Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me! Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts On his behalf: Oli. Vio. Dear lady, Oli. Give me leave, I beseech you: I did send, Have you not set mine honor at the stake, Enough is shown; a cyprus, not a bosom, Oli. That's a degree to love. Vio. No, not a grise; for 'tis a vulgar proof, That very oft we pity enemies. Oli. Why, then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again; O world, how apt the poor are to be proud! If one should be a prey, how much the better To fall before the lion than the wolf! [Clock strikes. The clock upraids me with the waste of time,-Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you: And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest, Your wife is like to reap a proper man: There lies your way, due west. Vio. Then westward-hoe: Grace and good disposition 'tend your ladyship! You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me? Oli. Stay: I pr'ythee, tell me, what thou think'st of me. am. Oli. O what a deal of scorn looks beautiful In the contempt and anger of his lip! A murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon By maidhood, honour, truth, and every thing, • Step. SCENE II-A Room in Olivia's House. Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, Sir ANDREW AGUECHEEK, and FABIAN. Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer. Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason. Fab. You must needs yield your reason, sir Andrew. Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more favors to the count's serving man, than ever she bestowed upon me: I saw't i' the orchard. Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that. Sir And. As plain as I see you now. Fab. This was a great argument of love in her towards you. Sir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o' me? Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason. Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men, since before Noah was a sailor. Fab. She did show favor to the youth in your sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valor, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver: You should then have accosted her; and with some excellent jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was baulked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt either of valor, or policy. Sir And. And't be any way, it must be with valor; for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist, as a politician. 8 Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valor. Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places; my niece shall take note of it: and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman, than report of valor. Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew. Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge to him? Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst' and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent, and full of invention: taunt him with the licence of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware' in England, set 'em down; go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink: though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter: About it. Sir And. Where shall I find you? Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo: Go. [Exit Sir ANDREW. Fab. This is a dear manikin to you, sir Toby. Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad; some two thousand strong, or so. Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll not deliver it? Sir To. Never trust me then; and by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and Separatists in Queen Elizabeth's reign. • Crabbed. 1 In Hertfordshire, which held forty persons. 2 Chamber. Seb. Do not then walk too open. Ant. It doth not fit me. purse; Hold, sir, here's my wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened, and you find so much blood in bis liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy. In the south suburbs, at the Elephant, Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet, visage no great presage of cruelty. Whiles you beguile the time, and feed your know Enter MARIA. Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes. Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me; yon' gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christain, that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings. Sir To. And cross-gartered? Mar. Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school i' the church.-I have dogged him, like his murderer: He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines, than are in the new map, with the augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a thing as 'tis: I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know, my lady will strike him; if she do, he'll smile, and take 't for a great favor. Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is. [Exeunt. SCENE III-A Street. Enter ANTONIO and SEBASTIAN. Seb. I would not, by my will, have troubled you; Ant. I could not stay behind you; my desire, Seb. My kind Antonio, ledge, Mar. Where is Malvolio?-he is sad, and civil, Oli. Go call him hither. I'm as mad as he, How now, Malvolio? Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho. [Smiles fantastically. I sent for thee upon a sad occasion. Mal. Sad, lady? I could be sad: This does make some obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering: But what of that, if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is: Please one, and please all. Oli. Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter with thee? Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs: It did come to his hands, and commands Ant. To-morrow, sir; best, first, go see your shall be executed. I think, we do know the sweet lodging. Ant. 'Would you'd pardon me; Seb. Belike, you slew great number of his people? Caught. Roman hand. Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? Mal. To bed? ay, sweet-heart; and I'll come to thee. Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so oft? Mar. How do you, Malvolio? Mal. At your request? Yes; Nightingales answer daws. Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady? Mal. Be not afraid of greatness: "Twas well writ. Oli. Ha? Mal. Some achieve greatness,—— Mal. And some have greatness thrust upon them Oli. Heaven restore thee! 4 Grave. Mal. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings: Oli. Thy yellow stockings? Mal. And wished to see thee cross-gartered. Mal. Go to: thou art made, if thou desirest to be so; Oli. Am I made? Mal. If not, let me see thee a servant still. Enter Servant. Good Serv. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him back: he attends your ladyship's pleasure. Oli. I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.] Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. [Exeunt OLIVIA and MARIA. Mal. Oh ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than sir Toby to look to me? This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. Cast thy humble slough, says she: be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants, let thy tongue tang with arguments of state, put thyself into the trick of singularity; and, consequently, sets down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And, when she went away now, Let this fellow be looked to: Fellow!' not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together; that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance,-What can be said? Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Re-enter MARIA, with Sir ToBY BELCH, and FABIAN. Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him. Fab. Here he is, here he is:-How is't with you, sir? how is't with you, man? Mal. Go off; I discard you, let me enjoy my private; go off. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you !-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him. Mal. Ah, ha! does she so? Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil: consider he's an enemy to mankind. Mal. Do you know what you say? Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not be witched! Sir To. Is't possible? Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. Mar. Nay, pursue him now; lest the device take air, and taint. Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed. Mar. The house will be the quieter. Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he is mad; we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at which time, we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see. Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Fab. More matter for a May morning. Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it; I warrant, there's vinegar and pepper in't. Fab. Is't so saucy? Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him; do but read. Sir To. Give me. [Reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow. Fab. Good and valiant. Sir To. Wonder not nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't. Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me, Fab. Good. Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. Fab. Still you keep o'the windy side of the law: Good. Sir To. Fare thee well; And God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy.. ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff; so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharpA play among boys. Jolly cock, beau and coq. ly twanged off, gives manhood more approbation | sire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I than ever proof itself would have earned him.- have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels Away. purposely on others, to taste their valor: belike, this is a man of that quirk. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Exit. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behavior of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece confirms no less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valor; and drive the gentleman, (as, I know, his youth will aptly receive it,) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so frighten them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. Enter OLIVIA and VIOLA. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. [Exeunt Sir TOBY, FABIAN, and MARIA. Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone, And laid mine honor too unchary out: There's something in me, that reproves my fault; But such a headstrong potent fault it is, That it but mocks reproof. Vio. With the same 'havior that your passion bears, Go on my master's griefs. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. What shall you ask of me, that I'll deny, That honor, sav'd, may upon asking give? Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my mas Re-enter Sir TOBY BELCH and FABIAN. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare" in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; give't or take't. Vio. I will return again into the house, and de- Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore get you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked: for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose. Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir ToвY. Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal abitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more. Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valor. He is, indeed, sir, the most possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am knight: I care not who knows so much of my one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir [Exeunt. mettle. Re-enter Sir TOBY with Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in,' with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on: They say he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him dammed ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. Sir To. I'll make the motion: Stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls. Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. [Aside. Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. I have his horse [To FAB.] to take up the quarrel ; I have persuaded him, the youth's a devil. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for his oath's sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. [Aside. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. 1 Stoccato, an Italian term in fencing. the gentleman will, for his honor's sake, have one | As to upbraid you with those kindnesses bout with you: he cannot by the duello avoid it: That I have done for you. but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and Vio. I know of none; a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Nor know I you by voice, or any feature: Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath! [Draws. I hate ingratitude more in a man, Enter ANTONIO. Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood. Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will. [Draws. Fab. O good sir Toby, hold; here come the officers. Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [To ANTONIO. Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. [To Sir ANDREW. Sir And. Marry, will I, sir;-and, for that I promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He will bear you easily, and reins well. 1 Off. This is the man, do thy office. 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of Count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favor well, 2 Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; 1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away. Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers, with ANT. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, FaThough now you have no sea-cap on your head.bian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most Take him away; he knows, I know him well. Ant. I must obey.-This comes with seeking you; sage saws. Vio. He named Sebastian; I my brother know Makes me to ask you for my purse: It grieves me Still in this fashion, color, ornament, Much more for what I cannot do for you, Than what befals myself. You stand amaz'd; 2 Off. Come, sir, away. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, I'll lend you something: my having is not much; Ant. For him I imitate: O, if it prove, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword. Will you deny me now? Is't possible that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, yet. Sir And. An I do not,- [Exit. ACT IV. SCENE I.—The Street before Olivia's House. Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee. Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither.-Nothing that is so, is so. 9 Laws of duel. Seb. I pr'ythee, vent thy folly somewhere else; Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady: Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming? There's money for thee; if thou tarry longer, Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; I shall give worse payment. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand :— These wise men that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. |