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Who broils in loud applause; and make him fall
SCENE I.-- Another Part of the Grecian Camp. Ajax. You cur !
[Beating him. Enter AJAX and THERSITES.
Ther. Mars his idiot! do, rudeness; do, camel,
do, do. Ajax. Thersites, Ther. Agamemnon-how if he had boils? full,
Enter ACHILLES and PATROCLUS. all over, generally ?
Achil. Why, how now, Ajax ? wherefore do you Ajax. Thersites,
thus? Ther. And these boils did run ?-Say so,—did How now, Thersites? what's the matter, man? not the ger.eral run then? were not that a botchy Ther. You see him there, do you? sore ?
Achil. Ay; what's the matter?
Ther. Nay, look upon him.
Ther. Nay, but regard him well.
Ther. But yet you look not well upon him: for Ther. The plague of Greece upon thee, thou whosoever you take him to be, he is Ajax. mongrel beef-witted lord !
Achil. I know that, fool.
Ajax. Therefore I beat thee. Ther. I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holi Ther. Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he ness: but, I think, thy horse will sooner con an utters! his evasions have cars thus long. I have oration, than thou learn a prayer without book.-bobbed his brain, more than he has beat my bones : Thou canst strike, canst thou? a red murrain o'thy I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia jade's tricks!
mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow.Ajax. Toads-stool, learn me the proclamation. This lord, Achilles, Ajax,—who wears his wit in
Ther. Dost thou think, I have no sense, thou his belly, and his guts in his head, -I'll tell you strikest me thus?
what I say of him. Ajax. The proclamation -
[Ajax offers to strike him, ACHILLES and I had the scratching of thee; I would make
interposes. thee the loathsomest scab in Greece. When thou Ther. Has not so much witart forth in the incursions, thou strikest as slow as Achil. Nay, I must hold you. another.
Ther. As will stop the eye of Helen's needle, Ajax. I say, the proclamation,
for whom he comes to fight. Ther. Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achil. Peace, fool! Achilles ; and thou art as full of envy at his great Ther. I would have peace and quietness, but the ness, as Cerberus is at Proserpina’s beauty, ay, that fool will not: he there; that he; look you there. thou barkest at him.
Ajax. O) thou damned cur! I shallAjax. Mistress Thersites!
Achil. Will you set your wit to a fool's ? Ther. Thou shouldest strike him.
Ther. No, I warrant you; for a fool's will Ajax. Cobloaf!
shame it. Ther. He would pun thee into shivers with his Patr. Good words, Thersites. fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.
Achil. What's the quarrel ? Ajax. You whoreson cur. [Beating him. Ajax. I bade the vile owl, go, learn me the tenor Ther. Do, do.
of the proclamation, and he rails upon me. Ajax. Thou stool for a witch!
Ther. I serve thee not. Ther. Ay, do, do: thou sodden-witted lord ! thou Ajax. Well, go to, go to. hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows; an Ther. I serve here voluntary. assinego'may tutor thee: Thou scurvy valiant ass! Achil. Your last service was sufferance, 'twas not thou art here put to thrash Trojans; and thou art voluntary; no man is beaten voluntary: Ajax was bought and sold among those of any wit, like a here the voluntary, and you as under an impress. Barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will Ther. Even so ?--a great deal of your wit too begin at thy heel, and tell what thou art by inches, lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector thou thing of no bowels, thou!
shall have a great catch, if he knock out either of Ajaz. You dog!
your brains; 'a were as good crack a fusty nut with Ther. You scurvy lord!
no kernel. Character.
Achil. What, with me too, Thersites? • Ass, a cant term for a foolish fellow.
1 Provoke. "The membrane that protects the brain.
Ther. There's Ulysses, and old Nestor, whose | You are so empty of them. Should not our father wit was mouldy, ere your grandsires had nails on Bear the great sway of his affairs with reasons, their toes,—yoke you like draught oxen, and make Because your speech hath none, that tells him so? you plough up the wars.
Tro. You are for dreams and slambers, brother Achil. What, what?
priest, Ther. Yes, good sooth; to, Achilles! to, Ajax! You fur your gloves with reason. Here are your to Ajax. I shall cut out your tongue.
You know, an enemy intends you harm; Ther. 'Tis no matter; I shall speak as much as You know, a sword employ'd is perilous, thou, afterwards.
And reason flies the object of all harm: Patr. No more words, Thersites; peace. Who marvels then, when Helenus beholds
Ther. I will hold my peace when Achilles' brach | A Grecian and his sword, if he do set bids me, shall I ?
The very wings of reason to his heels; Achil. There's for you, Patroclus.
And fly like chidden Mercury from Jove, Ther. I will see you hanged, like clotpoles, ere Or like a star disorb’d ?-Nay, if we talk of reason, I come any more to your tents; I will keep where Let's shut our gates and sleep: Manhood and honor there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools. Should have hare hearts, would they but fat their
thoughts Patr. A good riddance.
With this cramm'd reason: reason and respecto Achil. Marry, this, sir, is proclaim'd through all Make livers pale, and lustihood deject. our host :
Hect. Brother, she is not worth what she doth cost That Hector, by the first hour of the sun,
The holding. Will, with a trumpet, 'twixt our tents and Troy, Tro. What is aught, but as 'tis valued? To-morrow morning call some knight to arms, Hect. But value dwells not in particular will; That hath a stomach; and such a one, that dare It holds his estimate and dignity Maintain—I know not what; 'tis trash: Farewell. As well wherein 'tis precious of itself
Ajax. Farewell. Who shall answer him? As in the prizer: 'tis mad idolatry,
Achil. I know not, it is put to lottery ; otherwise, To make the service greater than the god; He knew his man.
And the will dotes, that is attributive Ajax. O, meaning you :-I'll go learn more of it. To what infectiously itself affects,
[Exeunt. Without some image of the affected merit. SCENE II.—Troy. A Room in Priam's Palace.
Tro. I take to-day a wife, and my election
Is led on in the conduct of my will:
Two traded pilots 'twixt the dangerous shores Pri. After so many hours, lives, speeches, spent, Of will and judgment: How may I avoid, Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks: Although my will distaste what it elected, Deliver Helen, and all damage else—
The wife I chose ? there can be no evasion As honor, loss of time, travel, expense,
To blench from this, and to stand firm by honor: Wounds, friends, and what else dear that is con We turn not back the silks upon the merchant, sumed
When we have soild them; nor the remainder viands In hot digestion of this cormorant war We do not throw in unrespective sieve, Shall be struck 00:-Hector, what say you to't? Because we now are full. It was thought meet, Hect. Though no man lesser fears the Greeks Paris should do some vengeance on the Greeks: than I,
Your breath with full consent bellied his sails; As far as toucheth my particular, yet,
The seas and winds (old wranglers) took a truce, Dread Priam,
And did him service: he touch'd the ports desir'd; There is no lady of more softer bowels,
And, for an old aunt,' whom the Greeks held captive, More spungy to suck in the sense of fear, He brought a Grecian queen, whose youth and More ready to cry out— Who knows what follows?
freshness Than Hector is: The wound of peace is surety, Wrinkles Apollo's, and makes pale the morning. Surety secure; but modest doubt is callid
Why keep we her? the Grecians keep our aunt: The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches Is she worth keeping ? why, she is a pearl, To the bottom of the worst. Let Helen go: Whose price hath launch'd above a thousand ships, Since the first sword was drawn about this question, And turn'd crown'd kings to merchants. Every tithe soul, 'mongst many thousand dismes," If you'll avouch, 'twas wisdom Paris went, Hath been as dear as Helen; I mean of ours: (As you must needs, for you all cry'-Go, go,) If we have lost so many tenths of ours,
If you'll confess, he brought home noble prize, To guard a thing not ours; not worth to us, (As you must needs, for you all clapp'd your hands, Had it our name, the value of one ten;
Ànd cry'd— Inestimable.') why do you now What merit's in that reason, which denies The issue of your proper wisdoms rate; The yielding of her up?
And do a deed that fortune never did, Tro.
Fye, fye, my brother! Beggar the estimation which you priz'd Weigh you the worth and honor of a king, Richer than sea or land? O theft most base; So great as our dread father, in a scale
That we have stolen what we do fear to keep! Of common ounces? will you with counters sum But, thieves unworthy of a thing so stolen, The past-proportion of his infinite ?
That in their country did them that disgrace, And buckle-in a waist most fathomless,
We fear to warrant in our native place! With spans and inches so diminutive
Cas. [Within.] Cry, Trojans, cry! As fears and reasons ? fye, for godly shame!
What noise? what shriek is this? Hel. No marvel, though you bite so sharp at Tro. "Tis our mad sister, I do know her voice. reasons,
* Shrink, or fly off. * Bitch, hound.
* Priam's sister, Hesione.
Cas. (Within.] Cry, Trojans !
And on the cause and question now in hand
Have gloz'd, but superficially; not much
Unlike young men, whom Aristotle thought
Unfit to hear moral philosophy:
To the hot passion of distemper'd blood,
Than to make up a free determination Cas. Virgins and boys, mid-age, and wrinkled ”Twixt right and wrong; For pleasure, and revenge, elders,
Have ears more deaf than adders to the voice Soft infancy, that nothing canst but cry,
Of any true decision. Nature craves, Add to my clamors! let us pay betimes
All dues be render'd to their owners; Now
What nearer debt in all humanity,
To their benumbed wills, resist the same;
Most disobedient and refractory. Of divination in our sister work
If Helen then be wife to Sparta's king Some touches of remorse? or is your blood Aset is known she is,--these moral laws So madly hot, that no discourse of reason,
Of nature, and of nations, speak aloud Nor fear of bad success in a bad cause,
To have her back return'd: Thus to persist Can qualify the same?
In doing wrong, extenuates not wrong,
Why, brother Hector, But makes it much more heavy. Hector's opinion
In resolution to keep Helen still;
Tro. Why, there you touch'd the life of our design:
She is a theme of honor and renown;
And fame, in time to come, canonize us:
So rich advantage of a promis'd glory,
I am yours, This quarrel would excite? Yet, I protest, You valiant offspring of great Priamus.Were I alone to pass the difficulties,
I have a roisting challenge sent amongst And had as ample power as I have will,
The dull and factious nobles of the Greeks,
I was advértis'd, their great general slept,
Whilst emulation in the army crept;
SCENE III.—The Grecian Camp. Before
Ther. How, now, Thersites? what, lost in the Wiped off, in honorable keeping her.
labyrinth of thy fury? Shall the elephant Ajax What treason were it to the ransack'd
carry it thus ? he beats me, and I rail at him: 0 Disgrace to your great worths, and shame to me, Now to deliver her possession up,
worthy satisfaction ! 'would, it were otherwise ; that
I could beat him, whilst he railed at me: 'Sfoot, I'll On terms of base compulsion? Can it be,
learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some isThat so degenerate a strain as this, Should once set footing in your generous bosoms? les,--a rare engineer. If Troy be not taken, till these
sue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's AchilThere's not the meanest spirit on our party,
two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall Without a heart to dare, or sword to draw, When Helen is defended; nor none so noble,
of themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Whose life were ill bestow'd, or death unfamed,
Olympus, forget that thou art Jove the king of Where Helen is the subject: then, I say,
gods; and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft Well may we fight for her, whom, we know well, less-than-little wit from them that they have! which
of thy Caduceus;' if ye take not that little little The world's large spaces cannot parallel. Hect. Paris, and Troilus, you have both said well:
& Envy. • Corrupt, change to a worse state. . Convict.
3 Through. > Blustering.
The wand of Mercury, which is wreathed with ser· Defence.
short-armed ignorance itself knows is so abundant | Patr. Within his tent; but ill-dispos’d, my lord. scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly Agam. Let it be known to him that we are here. from a spider, without drawing their massy irons, He shent' our messengers; and we lay by and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on Our appertainments' visiting of him: the whole camp! or, rather, the bone-ache! for that, I Let him be told so; lest, perchance, he think methinks, is the curse dependent on those that war We dare not move the question of our place, for a placket. I have said my prayers; and devil, Or know not what we are. envy, say Amen.-What, ho! my lord Achilles ! Patr.
I shall say so to bim. [Exit. Enter PATROCLUS.
Ulyss. We saw him at the opening of his tent;
He is not sick. Patr. Who's there? Thersites? Good Thersites, Ajax. Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud heart: you come in and rail.
may call it melancholy, if you will favor the man; Ther. If I could have remembered a gilt coun- but, by my head, 'tis pride : But why, why ? let | terfeit, thou wouldst not have slipped out of my him show us a cause.- A word, my lord. contemplation: but it is no matter; Thyself upon
[Takes AGAMEMNON asidi. thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and Nest. What moves Ajax thus to bay at him? ignorance, be thine in great revenue ! heaven bless Ulyss. Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him. thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near Nest. Who? Thersites? thee! Let thy blood be thy direction till thy
Ulyss. He. death! then if she, that lays thee out, says—thou Nest. Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost art a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't, she his argument.' never shrouded any but lazars. Amen.- Where's Ulyss. No; you see, he is his argument, that has Achilles?
his argument; Achilles. Patr. What, art thou devout? wast thou in Nest. All the better; their fraction is more our prayer?
wish, than their faction: But it was a strong comTher. Ay; The heavens hear me!
posure, a fool could disunite. Enter ACHILLES.
Ulyss. The amity that wisdom knits not, folly
may easily untie. Here comes Patroclus. Achil. Who's there?
Nest. No Achilles with him. my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served Ulyss. The elephant hath joints, but none for thyself in to my table so many meals? Come; courtesy: his legs are legs for necessity, not ter what's Agamemnon ?
flexure. Ther. Thy commander, Achilles;- Then tell
Patr. Achilles bids me say-he is much sorry, me, Patroclus, what's Achilles?
If any thing more than your sport and pleasure Patr. Thy lord, Thersites; Then tell me, I pray To call upon him; he hopes, it is no other,
Did move your greatness, and this noble state, thee, what's thyself?
Ther. Thy knower, Patroclus; Then tell me, But, for your health and your digestion's sake, Patroclus, what art thou?
An after-dinner's breath. Patr. Thou mayst tell, that knowest.
Hear you, Patroclus;Achil. O, tell, tell.
We are too well acquainted with these answers: Ther. I'll decline the whole question. Agamem
But his evasion, wing'd thus swift with scorn, non commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Cannot outfly our apprehensions. Patroclus' knower; and Patroclus is a fool.
Much attribute he hath; and much the reason Patr. You rascal !
Why we ascribe it to him: yet all his virtues,Ther. Peace, fool; I have not done.
Not virtuously on his own part beheld,Achil. He is a privileged man.--Proceed, Ther- Do, in our eyes, begin to lose their gloss; sites.
Yea, like fair fruit in an unwholesome dish, Ther. Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; 1 Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him, Thersites is a fool; and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is We come to speak with him: And you shall not sing a fool.
If you do say—we think him over-proud. Achil. Derive this; come.
And under-honest; in self-assumption greater, Ther. Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Than in the note of judgment; and worthier than Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of
himself Agamemnon; Thersites is a fool to serve such a
Here tends the savage strangeness he puts on; fool; and Patroclus is a fool positive.
Disguise the holy strength of their command, Patr. Why am I a fool ?
And underwrite' in an observing kind Ther. Make that demand of the prover.-It suf- His humorous predominanee; yea, watch fices me, thou art. Look you, who comes here?
His pettish lunes, his ebbs, his flows, as if
The passage and whole carriage of this action Enter AGAMEMNON, ULYSSES, Nestor, Dio
Rode on his tide. Go, tell him this; and add, MEDES, and AJAX.
That, if he overhold his price so much, Achil. Patroclus, I'll speak with nobody :
We'll none of him; but let him like an engine Come in with me, Thersites.
Not portable, lie under this reportTher. Here is such patchery, such juggling, and Bring action hither, this cannot go to war : such knavery! all the argument is, a cuckold, and A stirring dwarf we do allowance give a whore; A good quarrel, to draw emulousfac- Before a sleeping giant:--Tell him so. tions, and bleed to death upon. Now the dry ser
Patr. I shall; and bring his answer presenty. pigo' on the subject! and war, and lechery, confound all !
[Exit. * Rebuked, rated. . Appendage of rank or dignity. gam. Where is Achilles ?
* Exercise Attend.
* Suhecribe, obey. • Leprous persons.
· Tetter, scab. • Fits of lunacy. Approbation.
Agam. In second voice we'll not be satisfied, Ajax. If I go to him, with my arm'd fist I'll pash' We come to speak with him.—Ulysses, enter.
(Exit Ulysses. Over the face. Ajax. What is he more than another?
Agam. 0, no, you shall not go. Agam. No more than what he thinks he is. Ajax. An he be proud with me, I'll pheeze his
Ajat. Is he so much? Do you not think, he pride: thinks himself a better man than I am ?
Let me go to him. Agam. No question.
Ulyss. Not for the worth that hangs upon our Ajax. Will you subscribe his thought, and say— quarrel. he is?
Ajax. A paltry, insolent fellow, Agam. No, noble Ajax: you are as strong, as Nest.
How he describes valiant, as wise, no less noble, much more gentle, Himself!
[Aside. and altogether more tractable.
Ajax. Can he not be sociable ? Ajax. Why should a man be proud ? How doth Ulyss.
The raven pride grow? I know not what pride is.
[ Aside. Agam. Your mind's the clearer, Ajax, and your Ajax.
I will let his humors blood. virtues the fairer. He that is proud, eats up him Agam. He'll be physician, that should be the self: pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his patient.
[Aside. own chronicle; and whatever praises itself but in Ajax. An all men the deed, devours the deed in the praise.
Were o'my mind, Ajax. I do hate a proud man, as I hate the en Ulyss.
Wit would be out of fashion. gendering of toads.
[Aside. Nest. And yet he loves himself: Is it not Ajax. He should not bear it so, strange?
[Aside. He should eat swords first: Shall pride carry it? Re-enter ULYSSES.
Nest. An 'twould, you'd carry half. [Aside.
He'd have ten shares. Ulyss. Achilles will not to the field to-morrow.
[Aside. Agam. What's his excuse ?
Ajax. I'll knead him, I will make him supple;Ulyss.
He doth rely on none; Nest. He's not yet thorough warm : force' him But carries on the stream of his dispose,
with praises: Without observance or respect of any,
Pour in, pour in; his ambition is dry. [ Aside. In will peculiar and in self-admission.
Ulyss. My lord, you feed too much on this disAgam. Why will he not, upon our fair request,
[To AGAMEMNON. Untent his person, and share the air with us? Nest. O noble general, do not do so. Ulyss. Things small as nothing, for request's Dio. You must prepare to fight without Achilles. sake only,
Ulyss. Why,'tis this naming of him does him harm. He makes important: Possess’d he is with greatness; Here is a man-But 'tis before his face; And speaks not to himself, but with a pride I will be silent. That quarrels at self-breath: imagin'd worth
Wherefore should you so? Holds in his blood such swoln and hot discourse, He is not emulous,' as Achilles is. That, 'twixt his mental and his active parts, Ulyss. Know the whole world, he is as valiant. Kingdom'd Achilles in commotion rages,
Ajax. A whoreson dog, that shall palter® thus And batters down himself: What should I say?
with us! He is so plaguy proud, that the death-tokens of it I would, he were a Trojan! Cry-No recovery.
What a vice Agam.
Let Ajax go to him. Were it in Ajax nowDear lord, go you and greet him in his tent: Ulyss.
If he were proud ? "Tis said, he holds you well; and will be led, Dio. Or covetous of praise ? At your request, a little from himself.
Ay, or surly borne? Ulyss. 0 Agamemnon, let it not be so !
Dio. Or strange, or self-affected ? We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes
Ulyss. Thank the heavens, lord, thou art of sweet When they go from Achilles: Shall the proud
Praise him that got thee, she that gave thee suck:
Thrice-famed, beyond all erudition:
And give him half: and, for thy vigor,
Which, like a bourn, a pale, a shore, confines As amply titled as Achilles is,
Thy spacious and dilated parts: Here's Nestor,By going to Achilles:
Instructed by the antiquary times, That were to enlard his fat-already pride;
He must, he is, he cannot but be wise;And add more coals to Cancer, when he burns But pardon, father Nestor, were your days With entertaining great Hyperion.
As green as Ajax, and your brain so tempered, This lord go to him! Jupiter, forbid;
You should not have the eminence of him, And say in thunder-Achilles, go tu him.
But be as Ajax. Nest. O, this is well; he rubs the vein of him.
Ajax. Shall I call you father?
[Aside. Nest. Ay, my good son. Dio. And how his silence drinks up this ap Dio.
Be rui'd by him, lord Ajax. plause!