СНАР. Х.

The family endeavour to cope with their betters. The miferies of the poor when they attempt to appear above their circumftances.

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Now began to find that all my long and painful lectures upon temperance, fimplicity, and contentment, were entirely difregarded. The diftinctions lately paid us by our betters awaked that pride which I had laid asleep, but not removed. Our windows again, as formerly, were filled with washes for the neck and face. The fun was dreaded as an enemy to the skin without doors, and the fire as a spoiler of the complexion within. My wife obferved, that rifing too early would hurt her daughters' eyes, that working after dinner would redden their nofes, and The convinced me that the hands never looked so white as when they did nothing. Inftead, therefore, of finishing George's fhirts, we now had them new-modelling their old gauzes, or flourishing upon catgut. The poor Mifs Flamboroughs, their former gay companions, were caft off as mean acquaintance, and the whole confervation ran upon high life and high-lived company, with pictures, tafte, Shakefpeare, and the mufical glaffes.

But we could have borne all this, had not a fortune-telling gypfy came to raise us into perfect fublimity. The tawny fibyl no fooner appeared, than my girls came running to me for a fhilling a-piece to cross her hand with filver. To fay the truth, I was tired of being always wife, and could not help gratifying their requeft, because I loved to fee them happy. I gave each of them a fhilling; though, for the honour of the family, it must be observed, that they never went without money themfelves, as my wife always generously let them have a guinea each, to keep in their pockets; but with strict injunctions never to change it. After they had been closeted

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up with the fortune-teller for fome time, I knew by their looks, upon their returning, that they had been promised fomething great. Well, my girls, how have you fped? Tell me, Livy, has he fortuneteller given thee a penny-worth?' I protest, papa,' fays the girl, I believe the deals with fomebody that's not right; for the pofitively declared, that I am to be married to a 'Squire in lefs than a twelvemonth!' Well, now, Sophy, my child,' faid I, and what fort of a husband are you to have? Sir,' replied fhe, I am to have a Lord foon after my fifter has married the 'Squire."

How,' cried I, is that all you are to have for your two fhillings? Only a Lord and a 'Squire for two fhillings! You fools, I could have promifed you a Prince and a Nabob for half the money.'

This curiofity of theirs, however, was attended with very serious effects: we now began to think ourfelves defigned by the ftars to fomething exalted, and already anticipated our future grandeur.

It has been a thousand times observed, and I must obferve it once more, that the hours we pass with happy prospects in view, are more pleafing than those crowned with fruition. In the firft cafe we cook the difh to our own appetite: in the latter, nature cooks it for us. It is impoffible to repeat the train of agreeable reveries we called up for our entertainment. We looked upon our fortunes as once more rifing; and as the whole parifh afferted that the 'Squire was in love with my daughter, the was actually fo with him; for they perfuaded her into the paffion. In this agreeable interval, my wife had the moft lucky dreams in the world, which fhe took care to tell us every morning, with great folemnity and exactnefs. It was one night a coffin and cross bones, the fign of an approaching wedding at another time the imagined her daughters' pockets filled with farthings, a certain fign they would fhortly be ftuffed with gold. The girls themselves had their omens. They felt ftrange kiffes on their lips; they faw rings in the candle, purfes bounced

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from the fire, and true-love-knots lurked in the bottom of every tea-cup.

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Towards the end of the week we received a card from the town ladies; in which, with their compliments, they hoped to fee all our family at church the Sunday following. All Saturday morning I could perceive, in confequence of this, my wife and daughters in close conference together, and now and then glancing at me with looks that betrayed a latent plot. To be fincere, I had strong suspicions that fome abfurd propofal was preparing for appearing with fplendour the next day. In the evening they began their operations in a very regular manner, and my wife undertook to conduct the fiege. After tea, when I feemed in fpirits, he began thus: I fancy, Charles, my dear, we fhall have a great deal of good company at our church to-morrow.'• Perhaps we may, my dear,' returned I; though you need be under no uneafinefs about that, you fhall have a fermon whether there be or not.' ' is what I expect,' returned the: but I think, my dear, we ought to appear there as decently as poffible, for who knows what may happen?' Your precautions,' replied I, are highly commendable. A decent behaviour and appearance at church is ⚫ what charms me. We fhould be devout and humble, cheerful and ferene.'- Yes,' cried the, I know that, but I mean we should go there in as proper a manner as poffible; not altogether like the fcrubs about us.' You are quite right, my dear,' re turned I, and I was going to make the very fame propofal. The proper manner of going is, to go there as early as poffible, to have time for medita⚫tion before the fervice begins.'- Phoo, Charles," interrupted she, all that is very true; but not what I would be at. I mean, we should go there gen'teelly. You know the church is two miles off, and I proteft I don't like to fee my daughters trudging up to their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking for all the world as if they had been ⚫ winners

winners at a fmock-race.. Now, my dear, my propofal is this; there are our two plough-horses, the colt that has been in our family thefe nine years, and his companion Blackberry, that has scarce done an earthly thing for this month paft. They are both grown fat and lazy. Why should they not do fomething as well as we? And let me tell you, when Mofes has trimmed them a little, they will cut a very tolerable figure.'

To this propofal I objected, that walking would be twenty times more genteel than fuch a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and the colt wanted a tail that they had never been broke to the rein, but had an hundred vicious tricks; and that we had but one saddle and pillion in the whole houfe. All these objections however were over-ruled; fo that I was obliged to comply. The next morning I perceived them not a little bufy in collecting fuch materials as might be neceffary for the expedition; but as I found it would be a bufinefs of time, I walked on to the church before, and they promifed fpeedily to follow. I waited near an hour in the reading-desk for their arrival; but not finding them come as expected, I was obliged to begin, and went through the fervice, not without fome uneafinefs at finding them abfent. This was increased when all was finished, and no appearance of the family. I therefore walked back by the horse-way, which was five miles round, though the foot-way was but two, and when got about half way home, perceived the proceffion marching flowly forward towards the church; my fon, my wife, and the two little ones exalted upon one horse, and my two daughters upon the other. demanded the caufe of their delay; but I foon found by their looks they had met with a thousand misfortunes on the road. The horses had at first refused to move from the door, till Mr. Burchell was kind enough to beat them forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next the ftraps of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were obliged to ftop

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to repair them before they could proceed. that one of the horfes took it into his head to stand ftill, and neither blows nor entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. It was juft recovering from this difmal fituation that I found them; but perceiving every thing fafe; I own their present mortification did not much displease me, as it would give me many opportunities of future triumph, and teach my daughters more humility,

CHAP. XI.

The family ftill refolve to hold up their heads.

ICHAELMAS eve happening on the next day, we were invited to burn nuts and play tricks at neighbour Flamborough's. Our late mortifications had humbled us a little, or it is probable we might have rejected fuch an invitation with con. tempt: however, we fuffered ourselves to be happyOur honeft neighbour's goofe and dumplings were fine, and the lamb's-wool, even in the opinion of my wife, who was a connoiffeur, was excellent. It is true, his manner of telling stories was not quite fo well. They were very long, and very dull, and all about himself, and we had laughed at them ten times before: however, we were kind enough to laugh at

them once more.

Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of feeing fome innocent amufement going forward, and fet the boys and girls to blind-man's-buff. My wife too was perfuaded to join in the diverfion, and it gave me pleasure to think the was not yet too old. In the mean time, my neighbour and I looked on, laughed at every feat, and praifed our own dexterity, when we were young. Hot cockles fucceeded next, questions and commands followed that, and laft of all, they fat down to hunt the flipper. As every person may not be acquainted with this primaval paftime, it may be neceffary to obferve, that the company