ingly by accident, overturned the whole compofition, and it was too late to begin another.

CHAP. VII.

A town wit defcribed. The dulleft fellows way learn to be comical for a night or two.

WHEN the morning arrived on which we were

to entertain our young landlord, it may be eafily fuppofed what provifions were exhaufted to make an appearance. It may alfo be conjectured that my wife and daughters expanded their gayeft plumage upon this occafion. Mr. Thornhill came with a couple of friends, his chaplain and feeder. The fervants, who were numerous, he politely ordered to the next alehouse: but my wife, in the triumph of her heart, infifted on entertaining them all; for which, by the bye, our family was pinched for three weeks after. As Mr. Burchell had hinted to us the day before, that he was making fome propofals of marriage to Mifs Wilmot, my fon George's former miftrefs, this a good deal damped the heartiness of his reception: but accident, in fome measure, relieved our embarraffment; for one of the company happening to mention her name, Mr. Thornhill obferved with an oath, that he never knew any thing more abfurd than calling fuch a fright a beauty: For, ftrike me ugly,' continued he, if I fhould not find as much pleasure in chufing my mistress by the information of a lamp under the clock at St. Dunstan's.' At this he laughed, and fo did we: the jefts of the rich are ever fuccefsful. Olivia too could not avoid whifpering, loud enough to be heard, that he had an infinite fund of humour.

After dinner I began with my ufual toaft, the Church; for this I was thanked by the chaplain, as he faid the church was the only mistress of his affections. Come, tell us honeftly, Frank,' faid the

'Squire,

"Squire, with his ufual archnefs, fuppofe the church, your prefent mistress, dreft in lawn fleeves, on one hand, and Mifs Sophia, with no lawn about her, on the other, which would you be for?'- For both, to be fure,' cried the chaplain.- Right, Frank,' cried the 'Squire; for may this glafs fuffocate me but a fine girl is worth all the priestcraft in the crea• tion! For what are tithes and tricks but an impo⚫fition, all-a confounded impofture?, and I can prove it.'- I wish you would,' cried my fon Mofes, and I think,' continued he, that I fhould be able to answer you.' Very well, Sir,' cried the 'Squire, who immediately fmoked him, and winked on the rest of the company, to prepare us for the fport, If you are for a cool argument upon that fubject, I am ready to accept the challenge. And firft, whether are you for managing it analogically or dialogically?' I am for managing it rationally," cried Mofes, quite happy at being permitted to difpute. Good again,' cried the 'Squire; and firstly, of the firft. I hope you'll not deny that whatever is, is. If you don't grant me that, I can go no farther.' Why,' returned Mofes, I think "I may grant that, and make the best of it.'I hope too, returned the other, you'll grant that a part is less than the whole.' I grant that too," cried Mofes; it is but juft and reasonable." "I hope," cried the 'Squire, you will not deny that the two angles of a triangle are equal to two right ones.'Nothing can be plainer,' returned t'other, and' looked round with his ufual importance. Very "well,' cried the 'Squire, fpeaking very quick, ' premises being thus fettled, I proceed to obferve, that the concatenation of felf-existences, proceeding in a reciprocal duplicate ratio, naturally produce a problematical dialogifm, which in fome meafure proves that the effence of fpirituality may be referred to the fecond predicable.'- Hold, hold,' cried the other, I deny that: Do you think I can thus tamely fubmit to fuch heterodox doctrines?'

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• the

What,'

What,' replied the 'Squire, as if in a paffion, not ⚫ fubmit! Answer me one plain question: Do you ⚫ think Aristotle right when he fays, that relatives are related? Undoubtedly,' replied the other. If fo then,' cried the 'Squire, answer me directly to ⚫ what I propose: Whether do you judge the analytical investigation of the first part of my enthymem deficient fecundum quoad, or quoad minus, and give me your reafons: I fay, directly.' I proteft,' cried Mofes, I don't rightly comprehend the force of your reafoning; but if it be reduced to one fimple propofition, I fancy it may then have an answer.O, Sir,' cried the 'Squire, I am your most humble fervant; I find you want me to furnish you with argument and intellects too. No, Sir, there I proteft you are too hard for me.” This effectually raifed the laugh against poor Mofes,' who fat the only difmal figure in a groupe of merryfaces: nor did he offer a fingle fyllable more during the whole entertainment.

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But though all this gave me no pleasure, it had a very different effect upon Olivia, who mistook it for humour, though but a mere act of the memory. She thought him therefore a very fine gentleman; and fuch as confider what powerful ingredients a good figure, fine clothes, and fortune, are in that character, will eafily forgive her. Mr. Thornhill, notwithstanding his real ignorance, talked with eafe, and could expatiate upon the common topics of converfation with fluency. It is not furprising then that fuch talents fhould win the affections of a girl, who by education was taught to value an appearance in herself, and confequently to fet a value upon it in another.

Upon his departure, we again entered into a debate upon the merits of our young landlord. As he directed his looks and converfation to Olivia, it was no longer doubted but that she was the object that induced him to be our visitor. Nor did fhe feem to be much displeased at the innocent raillery of her brother and fifter upon this occafion. Even Deborah herself

feemed

feemed to share the glory of the day, and exulted in her daughter's victory as if it were her own. • And now, my dear,' cried fhe to me, I'll fairly own that it was I that inftructed my girls to encourage our landlord's addreffes. I had always fome ambition, and you now fee that I was right; for who 'knows how this may end?'- Ay, who knows that indeed?' anfwered I with a groan: for my part, 'I don't much like it; and I could have been better pleafed with one that was poor and honeft, than this 'fine gentleman with his fortune and infidelity; for, depend on't, if he be what I fufpect him, no free'thinker fhall ever have a child of mine.'

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'Sure, father,' cried Mofes, you are too severe in this; for Heaven will never arraign him for what he thinks, but for what he does. Every man has a thou'fand vicious thoughts, which arife without his power to fupprefs. Thinking freely of religion may be in"voluntary with this gentleman: fo that allowing his ⚫ fentiments to be wrong, yet as he is purely paffive in his affent, he is no more to be blamed for his errors, than the governor of a city without walls for the fhelter he is obliged to afford an invading enemy.'

True, my fon,' cried I; but if the governor 'invites the enemy there, he is juftly culpable. And 'fuch is always the cafe with those who embrace er· ror. The vice does not lie in affenting to the proofs they fee; but in being blind to many of the proofs that offer. So that though our erroneous opinions be involuntary when formed, yet as we have been wilfully corrupt, or very negligent in forming them, we deferve punishment for our vice, or contempt for our folly.'

My wife now kept up the conversation, though not the argument: the observed, that several very prudent men of our acquaintance were free-thinkers, and made very good husbands; and she knew fome fenfible girls that had skill enough to make converts of their spouses: And who knows, my dear,' continued fhe, what Olivia may be able to do? The girl has a great C 3 ⚫ deal

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deal to fay upon every subject, and to my knowledge is very well skilled in controversy.'

Why, my dear, what controverfy can the have read?' cried I. • It does not occur to me that I ever put fuch books into her hands: you certainly over-rate her merit.' Indeed, papa,' replied Olivia, the does not: I have read a great deal of controverfy. I have read the difputes between Thwackum and Square; the controverfy between Robinfon Crufoe and Friday the favage; and I am • now employed in reading the controverfy in Religious Courtship. Very well,' cried I, that's a good girl; I find you are perfectly qualified for making converts, and fo go help your mother to make the goofeberry-pye.'

CHAP. VIII.

An amour, which promifes little good fortune, yet may be productive of much.

THE

HE next morning we were again vifited by Mr. Burchell, though I began, for certain rea fons, to be difpleafed with the frequency of his return; but I could not refufe him my company and fire-fide. It is true, his labour more than requited his entertainment; for he wrought among us with vigour, and either in the meadow, or at the hayrick, put himfelf foremoft. Besides, he had always fomething amufing to fay that leffened our toil, and was at once fo out of the way, and yet fo fenfible, that I loved, laughed at, and pitied him. My only diflike arose from an attachment he difcovered to my daughter: he would, in a jefting manner, call her his little mistrefs, and when he brought each of the girls a set of ribands, her's was the fineft. I knew not how, but he every day feemed to become more amiable, his wit to improve, and his fimplicity to affume the fuperior airs of wisdom.

Our