day more agreeably to his Character; that is to fay, not without fome Profitable Conference, nor wholly without obfervance of fome Ancient Cuftom. He remembered to have read in Theocritus, that the Cradle of Hercules was a Shield; and being poffeffed of an antique Buckler which he held as a most ineftimable Relick, he determined to have the infant laid therein, and in that manner brought into the Study, to be fhewn to certain learned men of his acquaintance. The regard he had for this Shield, had caufed him formerly to compile a Differtation concerning it*, proving from the feveral properties, and particularly the colour of the Ruft, the exact chronology thereof. With this Treatife, and a moderate supper, he propofed to entertain his Guefts; tho' he had alfo another defign, to have their affiftance in the calculation of his Son's Nativity. He therefore took the Buckler out of a Cafe (in which he always kept it, left it might contract any modern ruft) and entrufted it to his Houfe-maid, with orders, that when the company was come she fhould lay the Child carefully in it, covered with a mantle of blue Sattin. The Gucfls were no fooner feated, but they entered into a warm Debate about the Triclinium and the manner of Decubitus of the Antients, which Cornelius broke off in this manner: t "This day, my Friends, I purpose to exhibit my fon before you; a Child not wholly unwor"thy of Infpection, as he is defcended from a Race "of Virtuofi. Let the Phyfiognomifts examine "his Features; let the Chirographifts behold his "Palm; but above all let us confult for the calcu"lation of his Nativity. To this end, as the child * See the Differtation on Dr. Woodward's Shield. " is not vulgar, I will not prefent him unto you in ર a vulgar manner. He fhall be cradled in my An"cient Shield, fo famous through the Univerfities "of Europe. You all know how I purchased that "invaluable piece of Antiquity at the great (though indeed inadequate) expence of all the Plate of "our family, how happily I carried it off, and how "triumphantly I tranfported it hither, to the inexpreffible grief of all Germany. Happy in every "circumftance, but that it broke the heart of the great Melchior Infipidus!" Here he ftopp'd his Speech, upon fight of the Maid, who entered the room with the Child: He took it in his arms and proceeded: "Behold then my Child, but firft behold the Shield: Behold this Ruft,—or rather let me call "it this precious Erugo,-behold this beautiful "Varnish of Time,-this venerable Verdure of fo "many Ages In fpeaking thefe words, he flowly lifted up the Mantle, which covered it, inch by inch; but at every inch he uncovered, his cheeks grew paler, his hand trembled, his nerves failed, till on fight of the whole, the Tremor became univerfal: The Shield and the Infant both dropt to the ground, and he had only frength enough to cry out," O God! my Shield, my Shield !" The Truth was, the Maid (extremely concerned for the reputation of her own cleanliness, and her young mafter's honour) had fcoured it as clean as her Andirons *. Cornelius funk back on a chair, the Guests stood aftonifhed, the infant fquaul'd, the maid ran in, 'fnatch'd it up again in her arms, flew into her miftrefs's room, and told what had happen'd. Down Poor Vadius, long with learned spleen devour'd, ftairs ftairs in an inftant hurried all the Goffips, where they found the Doctor in a Trance: Hungary water, Hartfhorn, and the confufed noife of fhrill voices, at length awaken'd him: when opening his eyes, he faw the Shield in the hands of the Housemaid. "O Woman! Woman! he cry'd (and "fnatch'd it violently from her) was it to thy igપ norance that this Relick owes its ruin? where, "where is the beautiful Cruft that covered thee fo "long? where thofe Traces of Time, and Fingers as it were of Antiquity? Where all those beau"tiful obfcurities, the caufe of much delightful dif"putation, where doubt and curiofity went hand "in hand, and eternally exercised the speculations "of the learned? All this the rude Touch of an "ignorant woman hath done away! The curious "Prominence at the belly of that figure, which fome "taking for the Cufpis of a fword, denominated a Roman Soldier; others accounting the Infignia "Virilia, pronounced to be one of the Dii Termini ; behold the hath cleaned it in like fhameful fort, and fhewn to be the head of a Nail. O my Shield! my Shield well may I fay with Horace, non bene relicta Parmula." The Goffips, not at all inquiring into the caufe of his forrow, only afked if the Child had no hurt? and cry'd, "Come, come, all is well; what has the woman done but her duty? a tight cleanly wench I warrant her; what a ftir a man makes about a Bafon, that an hour ago, before this 1bour was beftowed upon it, a Country Barber would not have hung at his fhop door." " A Bafon! (cry'd another) no fuch matter, 'tis nothing but a paultry old Sconce, with the nozzle broke off." The learned Gentlemen, who till now had flood fpeechlefs, hereupon "looking narrowly on the Shield, declared their Affent to this latter opinion; and defired Cornelius to be com 66 forted, forted, affuring him it was a Sconce and no other. But this, inftead of comforting, threw the Doctor into fuch a violent Fit of paffion, that he was carried off groaning and speechlefs to bed; where, being quite spent, he fell into a kind of flumber. K ། CHA P. IV. Of the Suction and Nutrition of the Great A S foon as Cornelius awaked, he raised himself on his elbow, and cafting his eye on Mrs. Scriblerus, fpoke as follows. "Wifely was it faid. "by Homer, that in the Cellar of Jupiter are two "barrels, the one of good, the other of evil, which "he never beftows on Mortals feparately, but con"ftantly mingles them together. Thus at the fame "time hath Heaven bleffed me with the birth of a "Son, and afflicted me with the fcouring of my "Shield. Yet let us not repine at his Difpenfaticc ons, who gives, and who takes away; but ra"ther join in prayer, that the Ruft of Antiquity "which he hath been pleafed to take from my "Shield, may be added to my Son; and that fo "much of it, as it is my purpose he fhall contract "in his Education, may never be destroyed by any "modern polishing." He could no longer bear the fight of the Shield, but ordered it should be removed for ever from his eyes. It was not long after purchased by Dr. Woodward, who, by the affiftance of Mr. Kemp, incrufted it with a new Ruft, and is the fame whereof a Cut hath been engraved, and exhibited to the great Contention of the learned. Cornelius Cornelius now began to regulate the Suction of his Child. Seldom did there pafs a day without difputes between him and the Mother, or the Nurse, concerning the nature of Aliment. The poor woman never dined but he denied her fome difh or other, which he judged prejudicial to her milk. One day she had a longing defire to a piece of beef, and as the ftretch'd her hand towards it, the old gentleman drew it away, and spoke to this effect. Had'ft thou read the Antients, O Nurfe, thou "would'ft prefer the welfare of the Infant which "thou nourisheft, to the indulging of an irregular "and voracious Appetite. Beef, it is true, may "confer a Robustness on the limbs of my fon, but "will hebetate and clogg his Intellectuals." While he spoke this, the Nurfe looked upon him with much anger, and now and then caft a wifhful eye upon the Beef"Paffion (continued the Doctor, ftill holding the difh) throws the mind into too "violent a fermentation; it is a kind of Fever of the foul, or, as Horace expreffes it, a Short Mad nefs. Confider, Woman, that this day's Suction "of my fon may cause him to imbibe many ungo "vernable Paffions, and in a manner spoil him for "the temper of a Philofopher. Romulus by fuck"ing a Wolf, became of a fierce and favage difpo"fition; and were I to breed fome Ottoman Empe ror, or Founder of a Military Commonwealth, "perhaps I might indulge thee in this carnivorous "Appetite."-What, interrupted the Nurfe, Beef fpoil the Understanding? that's fine indeed-how then could our Parfon preach as he does upon Beef, and Pudding too, if you go to that? Don't tell me of your Antients, had not you almost killed the poor babe with a dish of Dæmonial black Broth ?— ' Lacedæmonian black Broth, thou would'ft fay, (replied Cornelius) but I cannot allow the furfeit 6 ❝ to |