BOOK I. CHAP. L Of the Parentage and Family of Scriblerus, how he was begot, what Care was taken of him before he was born, and what Prodigies attended his Birth. N the City of Munster in Germany, lived a grave and learned Gentleman, by Profeffion an Antiquary; who, among all his invaluable Curio fities, Memoirs.] Mr. Pope, Dr. Arbuthnot, and Dr. Swift projected to write a fatire, in conjunction, on the abuses of human learning; and to make it the better received, they propofed to do it in the manner of Cervantes (the original author of this fpecies of fatire) under the history of fome feigned adventures. They had obferved those abuses ftill kept their ground against all that the ablest and graveft Authors could fay to difcredit them; they concluded therefore, the force of ridicule was wanting to quicken their difgrace; which was here in its place, when the abuses had been already detected by fober reasoning; and Truth in no danger to fuffer by the premature ufe of fo powerful an inftrument. But the feparation of our Author's friends, which foon after happened, with the death of one and the infirmities of the other, put a final ftop to their project, when they had only drawn out an imperfect effay towards it, under the title of the First book of the Memoirs of Scribleras. fities, esteemed none more highly, than a Skin of the true Pergamenian Parchment, which hung at the upper-end of his hall. On this was curiously traced the ancient Pedigree of the Scribleri, with all their Alliances and collateral Relations (among which were reckoned Albertus Magnus, Paracelfus Bombaftus, and the famous Scaligers in old time Princes of Verona) and deduced even from the Times of the Elder Pliny to Cornelius Scriblerus: For fuch was the name of this venerable Perfonage; whofe glory it was, that, by the fingular Virtue of the Women, not one had a Head of a different Caft from his family. His wife, was a Lady of fingular beauty, whom not for that reason only he efpoufed, but because she was undoubted daughter either of the great Scriverius, or of Gafpar Barthius. It happened on a time, the faid Gafpar made a vifit to Scriverius at Harlem, taking with him a comely Lady of his acquaintance, who was fkilful in the Greek Tongue, of whom the learned Scriverius became fo enamoured, as to inebriate his friend, and be familiar with his Miftrefs. I am not ignorant of what † Columefius affirms, that the learned Barthius was not so overtaken, but he perceived it; and in Re Polite letters never loft more than in the defeat of this fcheme, in which, each of this illuftrious triumvirate would have found exercise for his own peculiar talent ; befides conftant employment, for that they all had in common. Dr. Arbuthnot was skilled in every thing which related to fcience; Mr. Pope was a mafter in the fine arts; and Br Swift excelled in the knowledge of the world. Wir they had all in equal measure, and that fo large, as no age perhaps ever produced three men, to whom Nature had more bountifully bestowed it, or Art brought it to higher perfection. + Columefius relates this from Ifaac Voffius, in his Opufcul. p. 102. P. venge fuffered this unfortunate Gentlewoman to be drowned in the Rhine at her return. But Mrs. Scriblerus (the iffue of that Amour) was a living proof of the falfehood of this Report. Dr. Cornelius was farther induced to his marriage, from the certain information that the aforefaid Lady, the mother of his wife, was related to Cardan on the father's fide, and to Aldrovandus on the mother's: Befides which, her Ancestors had been profeffors of Phyfick, Aftrology, or Chemistry, in German Univerfities, from generation to generation. With this fair Gentlewoman had our Doctor lived in a comfortable Union for about ten years: But this our fober and orderly pair, without any natural infirmity, and with a conftant and frequent compliance to the chief duty of conjugal life, were yet unhappy, in that Heaven had not bleffed them with any iffue. This was the utmost grief to the good man; efpecially confidering what exact Precautions and Methods he had ufed to procure that Bleffing: for he never had cohabitation with his fpoufe, but he pondered on the Rules of the Ancients, for the generation of Children of Wit. He ordered his diet according to the prescription of Galen, confining himself and his wife for almoft the whole first year to Goat's Milk and Honey. It unfortunately befel her, when she was about four months gone with child, to long for fomewhat, which that author inveighs against as prejudicial to the understanding of the infant. This her husband thought fit to deny her, affirming, it was better to be childless, than to become the Parent of a Fool. His Wife mifcarried; but as the Abortion proved only a female Foetus, he comforted himself, that, had it arrived to perfection, it would not have anfwer'd his account; his heart * Galen Lib. de Cibis boni et mali fucci, cap. 3. P. being wholly fixed upon the learned Sex. However he difdained not to treasure up the Embryo in a Vial, among the curiofities of his family. Having difcovered that Galen's prefcription could not determine the fex, he forthwith betook himself to Ariftotle. Accordingly he with-held the nuptial embrace when the wind was in any point of the South; this Author afferting that the groffnefs and moisture of the foutherly winds occafion the procreation of females, and not of males. But he redoubled his diligence when the wind was at Weft, a wind on which that great Philofopher beftowed the Encomiums of Fatner of the earth, Breath of the Elyfian Fields, and other glorious Elogies. For our learned man was clearly of opinion, that the Semina out of which Animals are produced, are Animalcula ready formed, and received in with the Air +. Under these regulations, his wife, to his unexpreffible joy, grew pregnant a fecond time; and, (what was no fmall addition to his happiness) he juft then came to the poffeffion of a confiderable Eftate by the death of her Uncle, a wealthy Jew who refided at London: This made it neceffary for him to take a journey to England; nor would the care of his pofterity let him fuffer his Wife to remain behind him. During the voyage, he was perpetually taken up on the one hand, how to employ his great Riches; and on the other, how to educate his Child. He had already determined to fet apart feveral annual Sums, for the recovery of Manufcripts, the effofion of Coins, the procur Arift. xiv. Sect. Prob. 5. P. + Religion of Nature, Sec. v. Parag. 15. P. The ferioufnefs with which this ftrange opinion, on fo myfterious a point, is advanced, very well deserved this stroke of ridicule. ing o Mummies; and for all thofe curious difcoveries by which he hoped to become (as himself was wont to fay) a fecond Peirefkius. He had already chalked out all poffible schemes for the improvement of a male child, yet was fo far prepar'd for the worst that could happen, that before the nine months were expired, he had compofed two Treatifes of Education; the one he called, A Daughter's Mirrour, and the other A Son's Monitor. This is all we can find relating to Martinus, while he was in his Mother's womb, excepting that he was entertained there with a Concert of Mufick once in twenty four hours, according to the Custom of the Magi and that on a † particular day, he was observed to leap and kick exceedingly, which was on the first of April, the birth-day of the great Bafilius Valentinus. The Truth of this, and every preceding Fact, may be depended upon, being taken literally from the Memoirs. But I muft be fo ingenuous as to own, that the Accounts are not fo certain of the exact time and place of his birth. As to the firft, he had the common frailty of old men, to conceal his age: as to the fecond, I only remember to have heard him fay, that he firft faw the light in St. Giles's Parish. But in the investigation of this point, Fortune hath favoured our diligence. For one day as I was paffing by the Seven Dials, I overheard a difpute concerning the place of Nativity of a great *There was a great deal of trifling pedantry and cu riofity in that great Man's character. + Ramfay's Cyrus. P. It was with judgment, that the Authors chofe rather to ridicule the modern relator of this ridiculous practice, than the Antients from whence he took it. As it is a fure inftance of folly, when amongst the many excellent things that may be learned from antiquity, we find a modern writer only picking out their abfurdities. Aftrologer, |