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ing love of Christ, the obedience of the
the communicating of goods, the uniting of interests, the fruit of marriage, a celestial generation, a new creature; “Sacramentum hoc magnum est;” “ This is the sacramental mystery,” represented by the holy rite of marriage; so that marriage is divine in its institution, sacred in its union, holy in the mystery, sacramental in its signification, honourable in its appellative, religious in its employments; it is advantage to the societies of men, and it is holiness to the Lord.' 6. Dico autem in Christo et ecclesia," “ It must be in Christ and the church."
If this be not observed, marriage loses its mysteriousness : but because it is to effect much of that which it signifies, it concerns all that enter into those golden fetters to see that Christ and his church be in at every of its periods, and that it be entirely conducted and overruled by religion; for so the Apostle passes from the sacramental rite to the real duty; “Nevertheless,” that is, although the former discourse were wholly to explicate the conjunction of Christ and his church by this similitude, yet it hath in it this real duty, “ that the man love his wife, and the wife reverence her husband ;” and this is the use we shall now make of it, thc particulars of which precept I shall thus dispose :
1. I shall propound the duty as it generally relates to man and wife in conjunction. 2. The duty and power of the man. 3. The rights and privileges and the duty of the wife.
1. “ In Christo et ecclesia;” that begins all, and there is great need it should be so: for they that enter into a state of marriage, cast a die of the greatest contingency, and yet of the greatest interest in the world, next to the last throw for eternity
Νύν γαρ δή πάντεσσιν επί ξυρού ίσταται ακμής,
"Η μαλά λυγρός όλεθρος Αχαιούς, ή βιώναι.» Life or death, felicity or a lasting sorrow, are in the power of marriage. A woman indeed ventures most, for she hath no sanctuary to retire to from an evil husband; she must dwell upon her sorrow, and hatch the eggs which her own folly or infelicity hath produced ; and she is more under it, because her tormentor hath a warrant of prerogative, and the woman may complain to God as subjects do of tyrant princes, but otherwise she hath no appeal in the causes of unkindness.
Il. K. 173.
And though the man can run from many hours of his sadness, yet he must return to it again, and when he sits among his neighbours, he remembers the objection that lies in his bosom, and he sighs deeply.
Ah tum te miserum, malique fati,
Percurrent mugilesque raphanique. * The boys, and the pedlars, and the fruiterers, shall tell of this man, when he is carried to his grave, that he lived and died a poor wretched person. The stags in the Greek epigram, whose knees were clogged with frozen snow upon
the mountains came down to the brooks of the valleys, theñvous vor:ρούς νάμασιν ωκυ γόνυ, « hoping to thaw their joints with the waters of the stream ;”+ but there the frost overtook them, and bound them fast in ice, till the young herdsmen took them in their stranger snare. It is the unhappy chance of many men, finding many inconveniences upon the mountains of single life, they descend into the valleys of $ marriage to refresh their troubles, and there they enter into fetters, and are bound to sorrow by the cords of a man's or woman's peevishness: and the worst of the evil is, they are to thank their own follies; for they fell into the snare by entering an improper way: Christ and the church were no ingredients in their choice: but as the Indian women enter into folly for the price of an elephant, and think their crime warrantable; so do men and women change their liberty for a rich fortune (like Eriphyle the Argive, 'H Xe vodu cihov dvôeds edižuto Fruñerra, 'she preferred gold before a good man'), and show themselves to be less than money, by overvaluing that to all the content and wise felicity of their lives : and when they have counted the money and their sorrows together, how willingly would they buy, with the loss of all that money, modesty, or sweet nature, to their relative! the odd thousand pounds would gladly be allowed in good nature and fair . Catull. 15. 19.
† Brun. An. 2. 135.
'Εν τω ζην είναι ταγαθά των αγαθών.
'Εν τω ζην είναι πάντα κακών τα κακά. .
'Αλλά χάριν τέκνων, &c.
Sed pudicitiam, et pudorem, et sedalum cupidinem,
Plaut. in Amphit. 2 2. 209.
manners. As very a fool is he that chooses for beauty* principally; “ cui sunt eruditi oculi, et stulta mens” (as one said), “whose eyes are witty, and their souls sensual ;” it is an ill band of affections to tie two hearts together by a little thread of red and white.
Ουδεμίαν (φησίν η τραγωδία)
"Ωνησε κάλλος εις πόσιν ξυνάορον And they can love no longer but until the next ague comes ; and they are fond of each other but at the chance of fancy, or the smallpox, or childbearing, or care, or time, or any thing that can destroy a pretty flower.f But it is the basest of all, when lust is the paranymph, and solicits the suit, and makes the contract, and joins the hands; for this is commonly the effect of the former, according to the Greek proverb;
'Αλλ' ήτοι πρώτιστα λέων γένεσ' ήϋγίνειος,
Αυταρ έπειτα δράκων και πάρδαλις, ήδέ μέγας σύς.! At first for his fair cheeks and comely beard, the beast is taken for a lion, but at last he is turned to a dragon, or a leopard, or a swine.' That which is at first beauty on the face, may prove lust in the manners.
Αυτοϊς δε τους θεοίσι την κέρκον μόνην
Και μηρών, ώσπερ παιδερασταϊς, θύετε. So Eubulus wittily reprehended such impure contracts : they offer in their marital sacrifices nothing but the thigh, and that which the priests cut from the goats, when they were laid to bleed upon the altars. 'Εάν είς κάλλος σώματος βλέψη τις (ο λόγος φησι), και αυτή η σαρξ είναι κατ' επιθυμίαν δόξη καλή, σαρκικώς ιδών, και αμαρτηκώς δι' ού τεθαύμακε, κρίνεται, said St. Clement: “ He or she that looks too curiously upon the beauty of the body, looks too low, and hath flesh and corruption in his heart, and is judged sensual and earthly in his affections and desires.” Begin therefore with God, Christ is the president of marriage, and the Holy Ghost is the fountain of purities and chaste loves, and he joins the hearts ; and therefore, let our first suit be in the court of heaven, and
* Facies, non uxor amatur.
Fiant obscuri dentes, oculique minores,
| Od. &. 456.
with designs of piety, or safety, or charity; let no impure spirit defile the virgin purities and castifications of the soul (as St. Peter's phrase is ;) let all such contracts begin with religious affections.
Conjugium petimus, partumque uxoris ; at illis
Notum, qui pueri, qualisve futura sit uxor. “ We sometimes beg of God, for a wife or a child ; and he alone knows what the wife shall prove, and by what dispositions and manners, and into what fortune that child shall enter :" but we shall not need to fear concerning the event of it, if religion, and fair intentions, and prudence manage, and conduct it all the way. The preservation of a family, the production of children, the avoiding fornication, the refreshment of our sorrows by the comforts of society; all these are fair ends of marriage and hallow the entrance: but in these there is a special order ; society was the first designed, “ It is not good for man to be alone;" children was the next, “Increase and multiply ;”—but the avoiding fornication came in by the superfætation of the evil accidents of the world. The first makes marriage delectable, the second necessary to the public, the third necessary to the particular; this is for safety, for life, and heaven itself;
Nam simulac venas inflavit tetra libido,
Huc juvenes æquum est descendere ; The other have in them joy and a portion of immortality : the first makes the man's heart glad; the second is the friend of kingdoms, and cities, and families; and the third is the enemy to hell, and an antidote of the chiefest inlet to damnation : but of all these the noblest end is the multiplying of children. “Mundus cum patet, Deorum tristium atque inferûm quasi patet janua; propterea uxorem, liberorum quærendorum causa, ducere religiosum est,” said Varro; “ it is religion to marry for children ;"I and Quintilian put it into the definition of a wife, “est enim uxor quam jungit, quam diducit utilitas; cujus hæc reverentia est, quod videtur inventa in causa liberorum ;” and therefore St. Ignatius, when he had spoken of Elias, and Titus, and Clement, with an honourable mention of their virgin-state, lest he might seem to
* Juv. 10. 352.
+ Hor, S. 1. 2. 33.
| Macrobius ex Varrone.
have lessened the married Apostles, at whose feet in Christ's kingdom he thought himself unworthy to sit, he gives this testimony,—they were τους γάμους προσομιλήσαντες ουχ υπό προθυμίας της περί το πράγμα, άλλ' υπ' ευνοίας έαυτών του γένους čoxov čxtívous," that they might not be disparaged in their great names of holiness and severity, they were secured by not marrying to satisfy their lower appetites, but out of desire of children.”* Other considerations, if they be incident and by way of appendage, are also considerable in the accounts of prudence : but when they become principals, they defile the mystery, and make the blessing doubtful: “ Amabit sapiens, cupient cæteri,” said Afranius; “Love is a fair inducement, but desire and appetite are rude, and the characterisms of a sensual person :"__“ Amare justi et boni est, cupere impotentis;" “ To love, belongs to a just and a good man; but to lust, or furiously and passionately to desire, is the sign of impotency and an unruly mind.”
2. Man and wife are equally concerned to avoid all offences of each other in the beginning of their conversation : every little thing can blast an infant blossom: and the breath of the south can shake the little rings of the vine, when first they begin to curl like the locks of a new-weaned boy; but when by age and consolidation they stiffen into the hardness of a stem, and have, by the warm embraces of the sun and the kisses of heaven, brought forth their clusters, they can endure the storms of the north, and the loud noises of a tempest, and yet never be broken: so are the early unions of an unfixed marriage ; watchful and observant, jealous and busy, inquisitive and careful, and apt to take alarm at every unkind word. For infirmities do not manifest themselves in the first scenes, but in the succession of a long society; and it is not chance or weakness when it appears at first, but it is want of love or prudence, or it will be so expounded; and that which appears ill at first, usually affrights the inexperienced man or woman, who makes unequal conjectures and fancies mighty sorrows by the proportions of the new and early unkindness. It is a very great passion, or a huge folly, or a certain want of love, that cannot preserve the colours and beauties of kindness, so long as public honesty requires a man to wear their sorrows for the death
Epist. ad Philadelph.