me in language like this: 'You have Christian parents and every spiritual advantage, but alas! how striking the contrast between us! I have been early taught to make a jest of religion, and break the commands of God. Why did you not tell me better?' I was now brought into a strait. I strove to look to God for pardoning mercy; but such crowds of temptations pressed me on every hand, that I was almost prevented raising one desire to heaven. In this state of mind I continued for several months. A certain. passage of scripture lay with much weight upon my mind. 'For which of you intending to build a tower sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost whether he be able to finish it.' These words were opened, and set home to my heart. I thought that a tower must cost much labour, and it would be necessary to collect a sufficient quantity of materials fit for the purpose, and then to choose a good situation on a firm foundation. The application was obvious. I found that my mind was carnal and sold under sin. A great work lay before me, and until it was accomplished, I should be exposed to destruction from the incursions of my enemies. In short, that I must have an interest in Christ, to the expense of all my pride and self-righteousness-That I must be careful to build on the sure foundation, or the winds and the floods would prove destruction, and all my labour be in vain. Thus did I try to count the cost. In retrospecting my life I found that it had been filled up with disappointment, and that my master whom I had served, had but illy paid me for all my toil and pain. At length I learned that a Camp-meeting was to be held in the town of Munden about ten miles distant. I had heard much of such meetings, though never witnessed any for myself. It appeared to me that I ought to attend-that if I did it was probable that I should see or hear something that would prove a consolation to my mind. Accordingly I attended; and found the order of the meeting good. The preaching and praying came like thunder to my soul; and instead of wearing away the disease, seemed to make it still more burdensome and afflictive, until I concluded that it was high time wholly to lay down the weapons of my rebellion, and venture upon Christ, the rock of my salvation. Although this seemed exceedingly difficult, yet as nothing short could possibly save me from the rage of a guilty conscience and the wrath of God-trembling, sick and wounded as I was, being slain by the law and every way cut off-resolving if I must perish to perish at the feet of a crucified Saviour, I plead: Gracious Heaven! permit me, even me to approach thee. And in this critical period, when my heart laboured under a load intolerable to be borne, between hope and fear, I raised my feeble heart if happily I might see Jesus with a token of peace. And Oh! who can tell the joy of my heart when suddenly I viewed him by faith swaying the golden sceptre within my reach. Instead of finding him at so great a distance as I imagined, I found him near at hand, speaking peace to my soul; saying, go in peace and sin no more. Glory to God for redeeming goodness. My soul exults in the recollection of that triumphant hour, when my sorrow was turned into joy. "Thus I continued praying and praising, until it pleased the Lord to manifest his love to me in showing me the frailty of human nature, by visiting me with a lingering fever, the effects of which no doubt will follow me down to the shades of the silent tomb. This affliction, I humbly trust, has measurably answered the design of Providence. He who knows my proneness to wander, knows also what would terminate in my good. This state of debility has served to wean my affections from this fading world, and place them on things heavenly and sublime.” The affliction which she mentions was a nervous fever, which left her in a state of debility, and occasioned a weakness of the stomach of which she never found a radical cure. She spent one season at Ballston springs. The use of the water and the warm bath, afforded her much relief, but did not wholly restore her: yet she was generally able to attend to some useful employment, which did not require very great exertions. She did not fail to improve this affliction to the best advantage. Ever after its commencement she let go her hold on the world, and as she ceased to expect happiness from it, so she ceased to conform to its maxims and principles. She lived with a constant reference to the world of spirits. While she enjoyed intimate communion with God, she gave the fullest evidence for several years that she was a subject of sanctifying grace, though her deep humility prevented her making many professions of it. This grace supported her under all the troubles of life, and gave her a pleasing hope of immortality in the hour of death. All the letters, excepting one, that are in my possession, were written to me. The earliest of which, is dated Feb. 2, 1817. In this she observes: "You will please pardon me, my dear brother, if I go on a little farther and inform you, that while I have been reviewing my past reflections, I have not forgotten to apply a share of them to myself. "I have found by experience that there is no better way for me to live than to be a sincere beggar at the feet of Jesus. To sit in the dust, and if possible, get lower still and learn of Christ, to be meek and lowly in heart. I often find my heart impressed with a sense of the danger of an almost Christian, and think what a pity it would be to well nigh reach heaven, and for want of a little more faith and good works, to be cast off. Oh! that God would revive his work in my heart, and enable me to be a Christian in the fullest sense of the word. I do thank the Lord for the measure of his Spirit which I have enjoyed of late. But I still feel the want of a more intimate union with God. I sigh in pain for living bread. I long for your prayers day and night, that I may be faithful to the grace already given, and happily meet you with all the Israel of God to praise him to all eternity." "November, 1817. "I shall now proceed to inform you of my exercises on the subject of professors of religion viewing the world. I think I never had such inferior views of what is called the riches of the world, as I have at present. I see nothing here worthy of my affections. Every thing I behold preaches loudly to me, saying, 'Be diligent in doing thy work, for ere long thou wilt be called to thy long home.' And considering the adversity through which I am at present and shall continue to be called to pass, I do feel that if it should please God, it would be far better for me to depart, believing that I should certainly rest with the people of God. Oh! for some guardian angel to convey my spirit to a happier clime, while the grave kindly opens to receive my mortal body, until the morning of the resurrection. How gladly would I resign myself to its bosom. But all the days of my appointed time will I wait till my change come. "I am yours with much respect, "Hamilton, Nov. 11, 1818. "How sweet the intercourse where hearts agree, "But I find my trembling hand too weak to paint our former friendship either in verse or prose. And may I not say with propriety that the same is still existing between us, although we are separated at present by many miles. And were it possible for me to exchange this opportunity for verbal intercourse, how quickly would I lay aside my pen and tell you all my heart. "My mind is constantly employed in making observations as I pass from scene to scene, and I conclude from the whole that it is a matter of the greatest importance that I act up to the dignity of my character as a moral agent, filling up the rounds of duty during my short co-partnership with flesh and blood; and that I consider who hath placed me here, and for what end I am sent into this world of discipline and trial; and whether I have found my particular allotment on this stage, and am acting the rational part, where angels and men and the Great God, are my spectators. Ah! what shall I do to secure the favour of the King Eternal? Or how can such depraved creatures ever drink in his presence? Should we give our goods to feed the poor, or our bodies to be burned, without charity we are nothing. It is love that unites the soul to God, and induces unfeigned obedience to his faw. Oh! for more love to God and man, that I may be enabled to accomplish the business of life, and finish my course in peace. "We have just received your kind letter, and are all much pleased to hear of your health and of the prosperity of Zion. Bless the Lord for what he has done for us as a family. When I reflect upon the goodness of God to us ward, I am lost in astonishment, and am ready to fall prostrate at his feet and offer oblations of praise and thanksgiving to God for all his benefits. It is my prayer that God may prosper you the secret closet, the grove, and the field, witness to my prayers in your behalf. But I forbear, lest I should weary your patience with my long story. "To Mrs. Mary Peck, 66 Still yours, &c. "Hamilton, October 31, 1819. "I am a soldier enlisted under the King Eternal, to fight against the powers of darkness. It is nine years since I have been intrusted with the spiritual weapons of the Christian warfare, in which time I have been enabled to gain many glorious victories to the confusion of the armies of the aliens. And bless the Lord, time is swiftly rolling. And this mudwall cottage being under the pressure of continual disorder, beaten with winds and storms will soon fall and return to the dust. Then I shall have no need of this spiritual armour, but shall rest from my labours. And in the morning of the resurrection I humbly trust, that he who has led captivity captive will raise unworthy me to sound an eternal anthem of praise to God for redeeming goodness; where I shall meet my beloved Christian friends and rela tives with the Israel of God, "After much anxiety of mind respecting you, we received your letter, which afforded us a degree of consolation, especially to learn from it that your health is improving. Truly health is the greatest earthly blessing heaven is pleased to bestow upon us. From experience I am prepared to condole with those who are deprived of good health. They are unable, without a great deal of grace, to relish the enjoyments of life, or to have correct views of their situation. The spirits becoming depressed, earth wears a gloomy aspect, and the miseries of human life are presented to the mind with their melancholy train of woes, and if not checked in the first stage, it soon terminates in a derangement of the believing faculties and causes us to entertain erroneous views of things. To have just views of myself and the objects around me appears important. I wish not to rate things too high or too low. Either of those errors is attended with embarrassments. I want to be able to say in prosperity and adversity, that "none of these things move me." I desire to be regulated by the gospel rule in all my conduct through life, so that my being on earth prove not in vain to myself, nor a prejudice to others." "It is a dull time in religion among us, the people are careless about their souls or secure on an old hope. There has been a great deal of sickness, and several deaths in our town. But through divine goodness we have escaped with a few accidents, which, no doubt, are hints for us to prepare for greater events. Oh! my brother, I feel the need of being like an evergreen whose leaves wither not in time of drought or frost. I feel to give glory to God for the movings of his Spirit on my heart while I write. I do expect ere long to meet my dear friends in a more delightful country, where our songs of praise will be eternally without interruption. "I should say much more, but the bearer of this is waiting. I must just remind you that it has been a great while since we have seen you, and we are looking forward to the time of the Conference, hoping then to receive a visit from you. I hope you will not fail. "With a trembling hand and heart, I attempt to give you information of the late afflictive Providence in our family, hoping you are prepared by grace to receive the tidings of sorrow and grief, and yet of joy and gladness. Death has entered our dwelling!!! Mary, our sister, has just taken her everlasting flight to the skies. We should be glad to have you come and mourn with us, and if possible, comfort us. But I forbear enlargement, and shut up my feelings within my own breast. "Yours, &c. Our dear sister spent the forepart of last summer with us. During which time, her conduct and conversation afforded sufficient evidence, that she was fast ripening for heaven and immortal happiness. She returned home the first of August. After which it was observed by the family, that she conversed on the subjects of death and eternity, with unusual freedom and interest. The following lines she repeated and sung so frequently, even while about her daily employment, that it was remarked by seve ral not belonging to the family. "Let this vain world engage no more, It bids us use the present hour, On the death of her sister, (as may be observed in the last letter) her feelings were considerably excited. This letter was written but a few moments after the event happened, while her heart |