« PreviousContinue »
Brain. I know no remedy, Master Stepben.
Down. Come along before me here. I do not love your hanging look behind.
Step. Why, sir, I hope you cannot hang me for it. Can he, fellow?
Brain I think not, sir. It is but a whipping matter, sure! Step. Why then let him do his worst, I am resolute.
[Exit. SCENE, IV. A Hall in Justice CLEMENT 'House. Enter CLEMENT, KNO'WELL, KITELY, Dame KITELY,
TIB, CASH, COB, and Servants. Clem. Nay, but stay, stay, give me leave; my chair, sir sah. You, master Kno'well, say you went thither to meet your son. Kna. Ay, sir. Clem But who directed you thither? Kno. That did mine own man, sir. Clem. Where is he? Kno. Nay, I know not, now; I left him with your clerk: Clem. My elerk? about what time was this? Kno. Marry, between one and two, as I take it.
Clem. And what time came my man with this false mes sage to you, master Kitely?
Kite. After two, sir. and appointed him to stay here for me.
Clem. Very good; but, Mrs. Kitely, how chance it that you were at Cob's ? ha ?
Dame. An' please you, sir, l’V tell you: my brother Wella bred told me, that Cob's house was à suspected place.
Clem, so it appears, methinks : but on.
Dame. True, sir, but you know what grows by such haunts, oftentimes.
Clem. I see rank fruits of a jealous brain, mistress Kitely; but did you find your husband there, in that case, as you suspected?
Kite. I found her there, sir.
Clem. Did you so ? that alters the case. Who gave you knowledge of your wife's being there? Kite. Marry, that did my brother Well-bred.
Clem. How, Well-bred first tell her, then tell you after? where is Well-bred?
Kite. Gone with my sister, sir, I know not whither.
Clem. Why, this is a mere trick, a device : you are gulled in this most crosly, all! Alas, poor wench, wert thou suspected for this?
Trib. Yes, and't please you.
Clem. I smell mischief here, plot and contrivance, master Kitely. However, if you will step into the next roont with your wife, and think cooly of matters, you'll find some trick has been play'd youi-1 fear there have been jealousies on both parts, and the wags have been merry
Kite. I begin to feel it I'll take your counselwill you go in, Dame? Dame. I will have justice Mr. Kitely.
[Exit Kitely and Dame. Clem. You will be a woman, Mr. Kitely, that I see How now, what's the matter?
Clem. A gentleman! what's he?
Clem. A soldier! my sword, quickly: a soldier speak with me! stand by, I will end your matters anon-Let the soldier enter; now, Sir; what ha' you to say to me?
Enter BOBADIL and MATTHEW,
Clem. Nay, keep out, sir, I know not your pretence, you send me word, sir, you are a soldier; why, sir, you shall be answer d here. Here be them have been among 'soldiers. Sir your pleasure.
Bob. Faith, sir so it is, this gentleman and myself have been most uncivilly wrong'd and beaten by one Downe right, a coarse fellow about the town here, and for my own part, I protest, being a man in no sort given to this filthy humour of quarrelling, he hath assaulted in the way of my peace ; despoil'd me of my honour; disarm'd me of
my weapons; and rudely laid me along in the open streets ; when I not so much as once offer'd to resist him. Clem. O God's precious! Is this the soldier? Lie there.
my sword, 'twill make him swoon, I fear; he is not fit to look on't, that will put up a blow.
Mat. An't please your worship he was bound to the peace.
Clem. Why, an'he ware, sir, his hands were not bou, d; were they?
Serv. There's one of the varlets of the city, sir, has brought two gentleman here, one upon your worship's wariant.
Clem. My warrant? Sèrv. Yes, sir, the officer sars, procur'd by these two. Clem. Bid hiin come in. Set by this picture ; what Mr. Down-rig bt! are you brought at Mr, Fresb-water's suit here?
[Enter DowN-RIGHT, STEPåen, and BRAIN-WORM. Down. I' faith, sir. And here's another brought at my suit.
Clem. What are you, sir.
Step. God's my witness, uncle, I am wroged here mona strously; he charges me with stealing of his cloke, and would I might never stir, if I did not find it in the street by chance.
Down. O, did you find it, now? you said you bought it ere-while.
Step. And you said I stole it; nay, now my uncle is here, I'll du well enough with you.
Clem. Well, let ihis b eathe a while ; you, that have cause o complain there, stand forth: had you my warrant for this gentleman's apprehension ?
Bob. Av, an't please your worship.
Clem. That's well, an' my clerk can make itarrants and my hand not at 'em! Where's the warrant? Officer, have
Bruin. No, sir, your worship’s man, master Formal, bid me do it for these gentlemen, and he would be disa charge.
Kno. My man,
Clem. Why, master Down rigbt, are you such a novice as be sery'd, and never see the warrant ?
Down. Sir, he did not serve it on me.
Down. Marry, sir, he came to me, and said he must serve it, and he would use me kindly, and so
Clem. O, God's pity, was it so, sir? He must serve it? give me a warrant, i must serve one too-you knave, you slave, you rogue, do you say you must, sirrah? away with him to the jail, I'll teach you a trick, for your must, sir.
Brain. Good sir, I beseech you be good to me.
Clem. Tell him, he shail to the jail, away with him, I say.
Bruin. Nay, sir, if you will commit me, it shall be for commiting more than this: I will not lose by my travel any grain of my fame certain. [Tbrows off bis disguise, Clem. How is this?
Clem. I told you all there was some device.
Brain. Nay, excellent justice, since I have laid myself thus open to you, now, stand strong for me; both with your sword and
ballance. Clem. Body o' me, a merry knave! give me a bowl of sack; if he belongs to you, master Kno'well, I bespeak your patierce.
Brain. That is it I have most need of. Sir, if you'l pardun me only, I'll glory in all the rest of my exploits.
Kno. Sir, you know I love not to have my favours come hard from me You have your pardon: though I suspect you shroudly for being of councel of my son against me.
Brain. Yes, faith, I have, sir; though you retain'd me doubly this morning for yourself; first, as Brain-worm, after as Fitz Sword. I was your reform’d soldier, sir, 'twas I sent you to Cob's upon the errand without end.
Kno. Is it possible ! or that thou should disguise thyself 80 as I should nut know thee?
Brain. O, sir! this has been the day of my metamor. phosis; it is not that shape alone that I have run through to day. I brought master K tely a message tov, in the form of master Justice's man here, to draw him out o’the way, as well as your worship; while master Well-bred
might make a conveyance of mistress Bridget to my young master.
Kno. My son is not married I hope.
Brain. Faith, sir, tey are both, as sure as love, a priest, and three thousand pounds, which is her portion, can make 'em: and by this time are ready to bespeak their wedding supper at the wind-mill, except some friend here prevent 'em, and invite 'em home.
Clem. Marry that will l. I thank thee for putting me in mind on't. Sirrah, go you and fetch them hither upon my warrant. Neither's friends have cause to be sorry, if I know the young couple aright. But I pray thee, what hast thou done with my man, Formal?
Brain. Faith, sir, after some ceremony past, as making him drunk, first with story, and then with wine (but all in kindness) and the stripping him to his shirt; I left him in that cool vein, departed, sold your worship's warrant to these two, pawned his livery for that varlet's gown to serve it in: and thus have brought myself, by my activity, to your worship's consideration.
Clem. And I will consider thee in a cup of sack. Here's to thee, which having drank off, this is my sentence. Pledge me. Thou hast done, or assisted to nothing, in my judgment, but deserves to be pardon'd for the wit o' the offence. Go into the next room; let master Kitely into this whimsical business, and if he does not forgive thee, he has less mirth in him, than an honest man ought to have, How now, who are these ?
Enter Ed. KNO'WELL, WELL-BRED, and BRIDGET. O, the young company. Welcome, welcome, Give you joy. Nav, Mrs. Bridget, Blush not; you are not so fresh a bride, but the news of it is come hither before your Master Bridegroom, I have made your peace, give me your hand: so will I for all the rest ere you forsake my roof.
All. We are the more bound to vour humanity, sir.
Clem. Only these two have so little of man in 'em, they are no part of my care.
Step. And what shall I do?