as 1 their selection, which was as much in his few indulgences that vay be a fashion afterwards in Rome secret. He will mend in time. For Moore's Melodies in England, as we so it happens, that though the longer learn from Mr Macaulay, and his we live the more we have to laugh version and edition of the “ Lays." at, we lose considerably our power of They had no piccolo pianofortes in laughing. And that — between ourthose days, or they would have had selves be it said, Eusebius—is, I think, something lighter than the Lays, as a strong proof of our deterioration. A the better after-supper Poet calls it—a man, to laugh well, must be an honest Something more exquisite still." man-mind, I say laugh: when Shak speare says But I am apparently, Eusebius, “ A man may smile and smile, leaving the Curate to sleep or to And be a villain," meditate upon his own unhappy condition, while I thus turn the current he purposely says smile, in conof my talk upon you. Unhappy tradistinction to laugh. He cancondition, did I say? He seems to bear not laugh and be a villain. A man it wonderfully lightly; and once or cannot plot and laugh. A man may twice, when the subject has been men- be much less innocent even when he tioned, indulged in an irreverend thinks himself devout, than in his laugh. Now, I know you will ask hour of merriment, when he assuredly how a laugh can be irreverend. has no guile; but a man may even pray Don't you know the world well with a selfish and a narrow mind, and enough, Eusebius, to know, that before his very prayers partake of his inia very great number of men, women, quity ; no bad argument for a preand children, a curate must not laugh, seribed form. A man that laug dare not laugh-blessed indeed, and well is your half-made friend, Eusebir divested of the wretched rags of from the moment you hear him. 513 humanity, if he cannot laugh. None is better to trust the ear than the e, but a Bishop, or a Dean, who, in the in this matter-such a man is a man on the eyes of the many, is a kind of extra- after your own heart. After your oun te who parochial nonentity, can really, in these heart, did I say, Eusebius? Words are comtimes of severe reprobation for trifling the ignes fatui to thoughts, and lead read, peccadillos, afford to laugh; and they to strange vagaries-of which you had better do it in private, and with have here a specimen; but these few aprons off- never before the Chapter, words remind me to tell you an who all, themselves, laugh in private. anecdote, in this lull of the Hore CaMan, you know, is the only risible tulliane, which I would on no account creature; but a Curate must begin keep from you. And you will see at to know, from the moment he has put once in it a large history in the epion his surplice, that he is to discard tome and the very pith of a fableat once, and for ever, this human and such as Æsop's. But I assure you it irreverend instinct. Had you lived is no fable, but the simple plain truth; in the triumphal days of the Puritans, and I will vouch for it, for I had it what penalties would you not have from the mouth of our friend S., the had to undergo, what buffetings and trucst, honestest of men, who saw duckings, ere you could finally have with his own eyes, and heard with his overcome your strong, natural wicked own ears, the persons and the sayings. propensity, and have sobered down, S. was travelling some time ago, beand riveted in iron gravity and yond the directions of railroads, in a moroseness those flexible, those mock- coach. There were two companions ingly flexible features of yours. As it -preachers as he found, self-dubb'd is, in these days of “revival,” you Reverends of some denomination or only meet with considerable contenipt, other, besides that reverend one of and evil opinion, which, as it comes Their conversation, as is rather late upon you, comes as an usual with them, was professional, amusing novelty and additional pro- and they spoke of their brethren. In vocative. But you may be sure what speaking of different preachers, one you can afford to do, the Curate can- was mentioned, of whom one of the not. For the present, therefore, let speakers said 'emphatically—“Now their own. 2 that's what I call a really good man -that's a man after my own heart-a man quite after my own heart!" The other said with rather doubtful and hesitating confirmation, "Ye-s." "You don't seem to think so highly of him as I do," said the first speaker. "Why," replied the doubter, "I can't say I do; you remember some time ago he failed, and certainly upon that occasion he behaved very ill to, not to say cheated, his creditors." "Ah!" said the first commendator again, "that is very likely I should have expected that of him."-Henceforth, Eusebius, whenever I hear such a commendation, I shall look out for a map of the gentleman's heart who ventures upon this mode of expressing his admiration. Oh! what a world we live in! This is a fact which would have been immortal, because true and from nature, in the hands of Le Sage; and is worthy of a place in a page of a modern" Gil Blas." 514 "and hands.' We so all this digression has arisen laugh of the Curate's, to whom ne to turn; or you will think e been but bad company to other. I will, however, end 3 passage with the remark, that a n may do a worse thing than laugh, The happy is he that can do a better. The Curate and I, then, for the rest of the night conversed upon the affair of his, which so unaccountably was making no little stir in the place. The Curate told me, he was quite sure that his movements had been watched; for that only yesterday, as he was entering the gate of his friends, the family at Ashford, he saw Miffins's boy not far behind him on a poney; and he thinks he came out for the purpose of watching him, for he had scarcely reached the door, when he saw the lad ride hastily back. The Curate likewise confessed to me, that he did entertain some tender sentiments towards one of the inmates, Miss Lydia that the family had lived much abroad, and that they had a French lady's-maid, whom on one or two occasions he had certainly seen in this township. You see the thread, Eusebius, which will draw out innumerable proofs for such a mind as Miffins's. Taking a paper out of his pocket, he said it was put into his hands as he was coming away, and he had not opened it. "Perhaps," said he, "it may throw some light affair, as it was given me by on is, I know, on the all-important mittee." He broke the seal, laughed immoderately for five mine. and put it into my hands :— "REV. SIR,-Wishing to do the handsome to you, and straightforward and downright honest part, the committee inform you that they have reported your misconduct to the Lord Bishop, and I am desired accordingly to send you a copy of their letter. By order of committee.-I am, sir, "JAMES JONES." Enclosed was the following, which these wiseacres had concocted-and I have no doubt it was their pride in the composition, and in the penmanship, which induced them to send the copy to the Curate. "TO MY LORD, YOUR LORDSHIP THE BISHOP. "We the undersigned, the respectable inhabitants parishioners, approach most dutifully our Bishop's worshipful Lordship. Hoping humbly that you will be pleased to dismiss our curate, who, we are credibly informed, and particularly by three exemplary and virtuous ladies, they having been cautioned against him by one who knows him well, and is a friend likewise to said ladies, and doing all the good kindness he can. We learn with sorrow, that our curate has confessed to unbecomingly behaviour, and that he has been seen even kissing. My Lord, our wives and daughters are not safe we implore your Honour's Lordship to dismiss the curate, and take them under your protection and keeping: We are informed the curate has a foreign lady, not far from this, whom he almost daily visits — and a Papist, which is an offence to your Lordship, and the glorious Protestant cause, to which we are uniformly and respectfully attached, and to your worshipful Lordship very devoted-" here follow the names, headed by Matthew Miffins. "And what steps do you intend to take?" said I. "None whatever," said he. "Let it wear itself out. I won't lengthen the existence of this scandal by the smallest patronage. I will not take it up, so it will die." "But the Bishop?" said I. their selection, eling; so all is safe in his fashion afterwar Moore's Melodies the right. "Remarkable!" said I,-"what could that be?" "Why, something I shan't forget; earn Med rather early the and I don't think it was religious and morning, and we thought to have an hour over Catullus, and went to seek our host Gratian. We found him in his library in consultation with his factotum Jahn. He was eloquent on the salting, and not burning his weeds, on Dutch clover-"and mind, Jahn," said he, "every orchard should have a pig-stye: where pigs are kept, there apple-trees will thrive well, and bear well, if there be any fruit going:" and he moved his stick on the floor from habit, as if he were rubbing his pigs' backs; and then turning to us he said, “Why, Jahn has been telling me strange things: Prateapace and Gadabout have gone over to the chapel-left the church; not there last Sunday. But I saw that Brazen-stare there, trying, as she sat just before you, to put you, Mr Curate, out of countenance. Well, Jahn tells me that the Reverend the Cow-doctor preached last evening a stirring sermon on the occasion, and was very hot upon the impurities and idolatries of the Establishment.' And Jahn tells me they don't speak quite so well of me as they should; for when he plainly told Mitlins in his own shop, that he was sure his master would not countenance any thing wrong, the impudent fellow only said, 'May be not; but he and his master might not be of the same opinion as to what is wrong.' The rogue! I should like to have put all his weights in the inspector's scales." "Yes," quoth Jahn, “but I am 'most ashamed to tell your honour what Tom Potts, the exciseman, said, who happened to be present." "Out with it, by all means, Jahın,” said our friend. "Well then, sir, as true as you are there, he said that your honour was a very kind gentleman, and your word was worth any other ten men's in most things; but where it might be to get a friend out of trouble, and, for aught he knew, foe either, why then, he thought your honour might fib a bit." "Surely," said Gratian, "he didn't say quite that?" "Yes," quoth Jahn, "quite that, and more; something remarkable.” proper," said Jahn; and lowering his voice, and addressing me and the Curate rather than his master, he added,"He thought his honour had a kind heart, too kind; for that if Belzebub should come of a wet and dark night, and knock at his honour's door, and just say in a humble voice that he was weary and foot-sore, that his honour would be sure to take him in, give him a bed, and a stiff tumbler of brandy and water, and send for the farrier in the morning to fresh shoe him unknowingly; for he would make him stoop, put his claws on the ground, and throw a blanket over him, and make the farrier believe that, out of a whim, he was only a shoeing a great big goat." Gratian laughed at the whimsical idea of the exciseman, called him a true and good spirit-gauger; then giving some sharp taps to his hip, his knee, and his legs with his stick, rose from his seat, and said, "Come, Curate, you and I must take a walk amongst these people, and see what we can do: it is most time to put a stop to this mischievous absurdity, and, I fear me, of our own making." Away they went, and I put up my remaining translations from Catullus, took down a book, read awhile, and then meditated this letter to you. And now, my dear Eusebius, when you publish it in Maga, as you did my last, folk will say— "Why, what is all this about? Hora Catulliance! It is no such thing." Be it, then, I say, what you will. Do you think I am writing an essay?-no, a letter; and I may, if I please, entitle it, as Montaigne did"On coach horses," and still make it what I please. It shall be a novel, if they please, for that is what they look for now: so let the Curate be the hero,—and the heroine--but must it be a love story? Then I won't forestall the interest, so wait to the end; and in my next, Eusebius, we will repeat Catullus for the play, and say with the announcing actor, "to conclude with an after-piece which will be expressed in the bills." My dear Eusebius, ever yours, LESSONS FROM THE FAMINE. sort The two great parties into which only be temporary, and they will the country was divided on the sub- speedily be absorbed in the vast ject of our commercial relations with extension of our manufacturing in. foreign states, maintained principles dustry. High prices need never be diametrically opposite on the effects feared under such a system: a bad to be anticipated from the adoption season is never universal over the of their respective systems. The world at the same time; and free-trade Free-Traders constantly alleged, that will permanently let in the superfluity the great thing was to increase our of those countries where food is abunimportations; and that, provided this dant, to supply the deficiencies of was done, government need not dis- those in which, from native sources, quiet themselves about our expor- it is scanty. tations. Individuals, it was said, The Protectionists reasoned after an equally with nations, do not give entirely different manner. The doctheir goods for nothing: if foreign trines of free-trade, they observed, produce of some comes in, perfectly just in their application to British produce of some sort must different provinces of the same emgo out. Both parties will gain by pire, are entirely misplaced if exthe exchange. The inhabitants of tended to different countries of the this country will devote their atten- world, the more especially if placed tion to those branches of industry in similar, or nearly similar, circumin which we can undersell foreign stances. The state of smothered or nations, and they will devote their open hostility in which they are in attention to those branches of indus- general placed to each other, if their try in which they can undersell us. interests are at all at variance; the Neither party will waste their time, or necessity of sheltering infant manutheir labour, upon vain attempts to facturing industry from the dangerous raise produce for which nature has competition of more advanced civilinot given them the requisite facilities. sation, or protecting old-established Both will buy cheaper than they agricultural industry from the ruinous could have done if an artificial sys- inroad of rude produce from poorer tem of protection had forced the states, in which it is raised cheaper national industry into a channel because money is less plentiful, renwhich nature did not intend, and der it indispensable that protection experience does not sanction. We should exist on both sides. If it may be fed by the world, but we will does not, the inevitable result will clothe the world. The abstraction be, that the cultivators of the young of the precious metals is not to be state will destroy the agriculture of dreaded under such a system, for the old one, and the manufacturers of how are the precious metals got but the old one extinguish the fabrics of in exchange for manufactures ? Their the young. This effect is necessary, existence in this country presupposes and, to all appearance, will ever conthe exit of a proportionate amount of tinue; for the experience of every the produce of British industry. No- age has demonstrated that, so great body gives dollars, any more than is the effect of capital and civilisation corn, for nothing. Our farmers must applied to manufactures, and so intake to dairy and pasture cultivation considerable, comparatively speaking, to a greater extent than heretofore. their influence upon agriculture, that A certain number of agricultural la- the old state can always undersell the bourers may, it is true, be thrown new one in the industry of towns, and out of employment by the displacing the new one undersell the old one in of rural industry in making the tran- the industry of the country. The sition from the one species of country proof of this is decisive. England, labour to the other ; but the evil will by the aid of the steam-engine, cari undersell the inhabitants of Hindo- were wound up with the buying and stan in the manufacture of muslins selling, or raising and producing from cotton growing on the banks of the classes in society. But an external Ganges; but with all the advantages calamity has intervened;—Providence of chemical manure and tile draining, has denied for a season, to one of the it is undersold in the supply of food by fruits of the earth, its wonted increase. the cultivators on the Mississippi. The potato-rot has appeared ; and This being a fixed law of nature, nearly the whole subsistence of the evidently intended to check the people in the south and west of growth of old states, and promote Ireland, and in the western Highthe extension of mankind in the un- lands of Scotland, has been destroyed. cultivated parts of the earth, it is in Between the failure in the potato vain to contend against it. So vio- crop, and the deficiency in that of lently does free-trade displace indus- oats, at least £15,000,000 worth of try on both sides, where it is fully the wonted agricultural produce has established, that it is scarcely pos- disappeared in the British Islands. sible to conceive that two nations And the appearances which we now should at the same time run into the see around us are solely and entirely same glaring mistake'; and thence to be ascribed to that deficiency. No the common complaint that no benefit one need be told what these appearis gained, but an infinite loss sus- ances are, or how deeply they have tained, by its establishment in any trenched upon the usual sources of one country, and that reciprocity is prosperity in the empire : they have on one side only. As no adequate been told again and again, in parliaexchange of manufactures for subsis- ment, at public meetings, and in the tence is thus to be looked for, there press, usque ad nauseam. Governmust arise, in the old state, a con- ment has acted, if not judiciously, stant exportation of the precious at least in the right spirit ; its errors mctals, attended by frequent com- have been those of information, not mercial crises, and a constant in- of intention. The monster meetings, crease in the weight of direct taxa- the flagrant ingratitude, the broken tion. Should it prove otherwise, and promises of the Irish Catholics, have two nations both go into the same been forgotten. England, as a nation, system, it could lead to no other has acted nobly ; she has overlooked result but the stoppage of the growth her wrongs: she saw only her fellowof civilisation in the young one, and subjects in distress. £10,000,000 the destruction of national indepen- sterling have been voted by parliadence in the old. The former would ment in a single year for the relief of never succeed in establishing com- Irish suffering. Magnificent subscrip or manufactures, from the tions, from the throne downwards, competition of the steam-engine in have attested the sympathy of the its aged neighbour; the latter would British heart with the tale of Irish become dependent for subsistence on and Highland suffering. But, notthe plough of the young one. The withstanding all these astonishing rising agricultural state would be exertions, and notwithstanding the chained for ever to the condition of existence of an unprecedented dethe serfs in Poland, or the boors in mand for labour in most parts of America ; the stationary commercial the country, in consequence of vast state would fall into the degrading railway undertakings being on foot, dependence of ancient Rome on the on which at least £30,000,000 aharvests of Egypt and Lybia. year must be expended for three or Had it not been for the calamitous four years to come, distress is in issue of the last harvest, in a part of many places most acute, in all the empire, it might have been difficult severely felt. And what is very to say, to which side the weight of remarkable, and may be considered, l'eason preponderated in these opposite as a distinctive sign of the times, arguments; and probably the people specially worthy of universal attenof the country would have continued tion, the suffering has now spread to permanently divided on them, accord- those classes which are furthest re. ing as their private interests or wishes moved from the blight of nature, and merce |