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animated conversation ensued in genuine metropolitan on his part, and in equally erudite patois on theirs. After disputing for four hours, in snow two feet deep, the signors left him to guide himself: and there they were, man, woman, and child, beast, bag, and baggage on an Etrurian mountain, during as dreary a December night, as any private gentleman would not wish to be out in; and there they remained half dead with cold, and quite dead with fright, while Ducrow rode back 16 miles for assistance. During the late riots at Bristol, notice that the mob were approaching reached the theatre whilst he and his company were rehearsing. They paused; upon which he exclaimed with the coolness of Charles of Sweden, "Go on; I pay you for rehearsing, not listening to firing." But, when the rioters reached the door, he armed his people, and, going forth himself with a pistol in his hand, swore he would shoot the first man that laid a finger on his His resolution saved the property.

canvass.

Sir Walter Scott himself has not received greater homage than Ducrow. On the continent he was literally idolized; the presents he has received form a considerable cabinet. He is a man of great wealth, extraordinary taste, and original genius; is an admirable artist, possesses unquestioned courage, and unites the best heart to the worst temper of any man in the world.

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A HERO'S MOTHER.

THE Marquis de La Fayette repaired to Fredericksburg, previous to his departure for Europe, in the fall of 1784, to pay his parting respects to the mother of Washington. Conducted by one of her grandsons, he approached the house, when the young gentleman observed, "There, sir, is my grandmother." La Fayette beheld, working in the garden, clad in domestic-made clothes, and her gray head covered by a plain straw hat, the mother of "his hero." The lady saluted him kindly, observing-"Ah, Marquis! you see an old woman-but come, I can make you welcome to my poor dwelling, without the parade of changing my dress. Much as La Fayette had heard and seen of the matron before, at this interesting interview he was charmed and struck with wonder. When he considered her great age, the transcendent elevation of her son, who, surpassing all rivals in the race of glory, "bore the palm alone," and at the same time discovered no change in her plain yet dignified life and manners, he became assured that the Roman matron could flourish in the modern day. The Marquis spoke of the happy effects of the revolution, and the goodly prospect which it opened upon independent America; stated his speedy departure for his native land, and paid the tribute of his heart, his love and admiration of her illustrious To the encomiums which he had lavished upon his hero and paternal chief, the matron replied in these words:- 66 'I am not surprised at what George has done, for he was always a very good boy."

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ABERDEEN JOKES.

THE following facetio Aberdenensis we extract from the last number of the Aberdeen Magazine:-"A venerable Aberdeen Bailie, long, long ago called to his fathers, had once, on a most extraordinary occasion, to travel all the way to that great city, London. He was informed, before his departure, by an economical friend, that the cheapest way of living in London was to dine at a coffee-room. This practice he accordingly adopted. Seated in a coffee-room one forenoon, very hungry, he

could by no means name to the waiters any dish which there was a possibility of procuring. At length, hearing a gentleman call for coffee, he vociferated, 'I'm sayin', waiter, I'll hae coffee, tee.' 'Coffee tea, Sir,' said the waiter; 'sorry we've no beverage called 'at ere in the ouse.' 'Lord sake, min,' said the Bailie, ' canna ye gee's coffee, the thing the tither chap's gettin'?' 'Oh, yes, Sir; bring you a cup of coffee.' But when the coffee was produced, our townsman liked not the three miserable slices of toast which accompanied it, so, having crunched them all up, he vociferated, 'I'm sayin', waiter, I'll hae nae mair o' them wafers, ye maun bring me a shave o' loaf at ance.' 'Yes, Sir, immediately.' But the waiter was not so good as his word; for, returning, he stated, 've've sent and searched every bake'ouse in the street, Sir, and can't find no such thing as a shave o' loaf among 'em all.' Now this was truly perplexing, and our townsman had still to rack his ingenuity for his dinner. At length a lucky thought struck him. He saw some pigeons perched on a chimney close by, and he would have a 'doo tert;' but what this meant all the learned men in the coffee-room could not discover, and he was at last enabled, by means of a series of signs, to make known that he wished a 'pigeon pie.""

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LAWYERS.

A FEW weeks ago I was seated in a stage-coach with a clergyman, a lawyer, and a respectable-looking elderly person. The lawyer, wishing to quiz the clergyman, began to descant pretty freely on the admission of unqualified persons into the church. "As proof," says he, "what pretty parsons we have; I once heard one, instead of reading And Aaron made an atonement for the sins of the people,' read, And Aaron made an ointment for the shins of the people."". Incredible," replied the clergyman.-"Oh!" replied the lawyer, "I dare say this gentleman will be able to inform us of something similar."-"That I can," says the old gentleman, while the face of the lawyer brightened in triumph, "for I was once present in a country church,

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where the clergyman, instead of reading The devil was a liar,' actually read, 'The devil was a lawyer from the beginning.'"-From a Traveller.

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Ir appears that, while Manchester is now acknowledged to be amongst the greatest commercial towns in Britain, it also boasts a few peculiarities worthy of remark; and, by turning over Pigot's new Directory, it will be found to be the seat of royalty, as it contains, at present, no fewer than 25 Kings, and, although we have no Queens, yet there are 30 Princes, 4 Dukes, 3 Earls, 47 Lords, 21 Barons, and 36 Knights. We can also boast of having 2 Bishops, 80 Deans, 21 Proctors, 11 Popes, 3 Priests, 3 Prophets, and 5 Monks; still it is lamentable to think that there are only 2 Christians in the whole community. If we take places of worship, it would appear that the dissenters are gaining ground very rapidly, as there are only 2 Churches, while there are 15 Chapels and 17 Kirks. The peculiarities of the seasons are considerable, for we have neither Springs nor Autumns, but, to make up for their loss, we have 13 Summers and 9 Winters; we have, likewise, Frosts, Snows, Rains, and Fogs. We have plenty of Moons, but no Suns; still we have Roses and Lilies, Oaks and Ashes, and plenty of Gardeners, Foresters, and Farmers. Our scenery is also very much diversified, having 2 Mountains, 100 Hills, and 37 Dales; and, although we have neither Rivers nor Lakes, but only a few Brooks, yet we have Bridges and Barges, plenty of Fishers, and a fair supply of Salmon. And the stranger in Manchester will be surprised to find, perfectly at large, no fewer than 27 Lyons, and lots of Nightingales, Swans, Peacocks, and Ducks. We have Mr. Law, an attorney; Mr. Jump, a rope-maker; Wood, a joiner; Corn, a baker; and Chambers, a house builder. We are taught in strong language, the mutability of human affairs, for we find the great Isaac Newton, a painter, in Liverpool Road; Addison a joiner, in Tasle Street; Burns, a dyer, in Oldham Street; and Thomas Lawrence (no longer bearing the

honour of knighthood) earning his livelihood by weaving, at No. 5, Quay Street. And is it not a tasting shame, that poor Tommy Moore should be making, not amorous ditties, but boots and shoes, in Oldham Road? The "Pilot that weathered the storm" is still pursuing his vocation by mending windows in Oak Street; and his great opponent, Charles Fox, is an artist in Market Street. Robert Peel is now a labourer in Salford, and Joey Hume, an engraver, in Shudehill. Horatio Nelson now 66 fights his battles o'er," at the King's Arms, Ancoats Lane; and, to crown all, Charlie Stuart is now a mill-wright, near St. Peter's. Although Manchester, in point of population, stands second in the British empire, containing upwards of 230,000 inhabitants, among which there are no less than twenty Savages, it is a melancholy reflection that there is only one Wiseman in the whole parish.— Liverpool Albion.

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