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fellow, if all the parsons in the kingdom were assembled in your market-place, with each a bottle of claret in one hand, and a glass in the other, and were to say, Charley, here's to thee, my dear boy,' I'd not touch a drop before dinner; afterwards, you know, all's fair, good eating requires good drinking, starvation won't answer at all! no, no, here's my morning stomachic--(taking a box of pills out of his pocket, and swallowing two or three). The staff-pill, Sir, used in the army, only among tip-tops; if it hadn't been for them, and the glorious elixir coniactic, your friend Charley would have been in kingdom-come long ago, seated on a cloud, singing hallelujahs, accompanied by the Angel Gabriel on a silver trumpet. And then what would have become of English Opera-Old Towler-Blackey'd Susan? To be sure you'd have your Mister Balam, with his squalanties-his beautiful maid—his Polacca, &c."

"Friend Incledon, how often must I caution thee against that foolish as well as wicked custom of swearing?" "Ten thousand pardons, my dear friend; you are a good Christian, a heavenly creature, a drab-coloured angel; God bless you, I'll not transgress again; Charles Incledon's a wicked sinner-hopes for pardon though-because he learned it fighting for his king and country at sea. Sailors are a set, they swear Again! Charles, Charles, I fear thou art incorrigible." "Bless your soul, my dear friend, forgive me, I'm indisposed---never swear when I'm in health; staff-pills and elixir coniactic will do the job."

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Charles Young and a few more of his Thespian brethren were lounging at the shop of a respectable facetious friend in Bond Street, when a person came in to purchase an article called the Wellington lozenge, used for taking out stains from soldiers' coats-a small flat cake, about the size of a shilling, with the impression of the General, and bore a very neat aspect. A grand hoax was immediately hit upon by the party. "It will do," said one with high glee. "So it will," replied another, rubbing his hands, and the vender joined heartily in the joke. That night the play was the Beggar's Opera; and the melodist, dressed for Captain Macheath, in which he stood unrivalled, had

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scarcely taken three or four paces in the Green-room, tuning up his pipes, a usual custom previous to the play, when his friend Young, whose power of feature set risibility at defiance, addressed him, which others had attempted in vain, for stifled laughter overcame articulation.---" Well, Charles, my boy, are you in voice to-night?" "Voice, eh? Did you see my Tom Tug last night, ye thieves? Encored three times in 'the Jolly Young Waterman.' None of your squalanties--downright English. You shall hear, Pretty Polly say, when I was away'-hem, hem, hem,-hoarse, Sir, hoarse as a raven; must take some physie in the morning." "Charles, my dear boy, I pity you, for I was in the same situation the other night in Zanga ; nay, I should never have got through the part, had it not been for the Wellington lozenge." "Wellington lozenge! what's that? My dear Charles, where is it to be got?"---Many of those who witnessed this scene were obliged to make a speedy retreat, lest the fear caused by stifled laughter should expose the whole. "Why, my good friend, the Wellington lozenge is a medicine invented by that gallant General, who was so hoarse that he could not give the word of command on the plain of Waterloo, and this medicine cured him." Did it? by the Holy Pope, I'll have some! Where is it to be got?" “Mr. John Tomson's, No. 44, Bond Street." Having obtained the necessary information, the next morning he called in Bond Street, and inquired for the Wellington lozenge. It was with difficulty that the gentleman of the shop could contain himself when the application for the lozenge was made, more especially when he perceived the purchaser place. it in his mouth, paying five shillings, and mumbling, as he left the shop, "Nasty, my boy; but if it cured the first English general, it may cure the first English singer, and that will be serving the country." The effect of Incledon's entrance into the Green-room will, therefore, be easily conceived, and produced, as might be expected, a universal convulsion of smothered mirth; he was scarcely able to articulate How do you do?' from the space occupied in his mouth, and the overflow of saliva preventing articulation. Many quitted the room to indulge a laugh in the lobby, and it was diffi

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cult, even with handkerchiefs to every mouth, that any thing like seriousness could be preserved. At length, John Kemble, whose regular grave habits, serious looks, and steady muscles, rendered him unsuspected of joining in the hoax, began the farce.It is with infinite pain and considerable anxiety, my dear friend, Charles Incledon, I have heard of your hoarseness and difficulty of respiration; I labour under a similar complaint myself. The modulation of the voice, my dear Charles, is produced by the expansion or compression of a part of the throat, called the larynx; the effects of which, to those who obtain their livelihood by the exercise of their lungs, is often dangerous. I am happy to hear that you have met with an efficacious remedy; and, if it be no secret, I should be glad to know the name of the medicine, and the name of the vender." Incledon, pleased, as he always was, to communicate good tidings to his friends, especially Mr. John Kemble, who had long laboured under an asthmatic complaint, instantly dislodged the Wellington lozenge, and, after wiping his mouth, said, "My dear John, d---n your opium, throw it to the dogs. Here's the thing to catch the 'conscience of the king' ask the brave hero of Waterloo---hoarse as a hackney coachman, couldn't give the word of command; but this immortal lozenge---to be had of Mr. John Tomson, No. 44, Bond Street, price five shillings, did the business---shiver me." The humour of this scene may be conceived, but not described; those who possessed muscles equal to the attack plied him repeatedly with questions, for the mischievous purpose of removing the .lozenge, which, when replaced, another made a fresh attack. At last he became enraged, and swore they meant to be the death of him. "You take my life, ye thieves, if you do take the means whereby I do sustain my life. What's all your English operas without Charles Incledon? and what's Charles Incledon without his voice?---a Handel without his organ---a Newton without his telescope." Still no suspicion of deception was harboured in the unsuspecting mind of the melodist; nay, great relief and clearness of voice were supposed to be obtained by the use of the lozenge, which his quizzical friends encouraged, by observing,

"it was evident by his singing." The eclaircissement, however, took place that evening: the sons and daughters of Thespis were dressed for their respective parts, and all seated in the Green-room, removed occasionally by the summons of the call-boy. The play was Lionel and Clarissa; the melodist, of course, personated the sentimental Lionel, and, dressed in his sombre habiliments, paced the room as usual, rolling about his darling lozenge, till the shrill pipe of the call-boy summoned him to the stage. The late Mr. Quin, the editor of an evening paper, who frequently lounged an hour away in the Green-room, now came in for a share of the hoax. Having seated himself amongst the group, he carelessly, as it should seem, drew from his pocket a newspaper, and, after a short inspection, began to read aloud the following letter, printed, as it afterwards turned out, in that single paper only, in aid of the hoax :-

TO THE EDITOR.

SIR,---As I am well aware it will afford you gratification to expose the evil designs of the wicked, and to frustrate the attempts of the fraudulent practitioner, who, under the cover of letters patent, picks the pockets and ruins the constitutions of the ignorant and unsuspecting, I am led to hope you will publish this serious warning to the public. A man, who pretends to have been at the battle of Waterloo, and has made a discovery of a certain remedy for hoarseness and complaints of the chest, vends a most subtle poison, many having felt its baneful effects; and I can produce evidence at any moment, that various persons, who have been weak and credulous enough to use it, have, in consequence, brought on disease in the throat, total loss of voice, with many disorders of the mouth and larynx. After this caution, given from personal experience, the public, it is hoped, will be led to guard against imposition. This medicine has been rendered popular by the title of the Wellington lozenge.

Sir, yours,

JOHN HANSON.

To have beheld the change of feature in the face of Lionel's representative, as the reader proceeded, would have moved a stoic; but when the title of the medicine was given, he jumped up, discharged the contents of

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his mouth into the fire, stamping his foot upon the unfortunate lozenge, and, taking up a glass of water, exclaimed with great energy, all lozenges and quack doctors, and Mr. John Tomson, No. 44, Bond Street, and Mr. Tragedy Young, and all humbugs, cut-me-down thieves, common swindlers: I'm had, I see by your mugs; but I'll be up to your rigs, my masters; and that old tragedy cull, King Solomon in wax-work, Black Jack, Mr. John---Kemble, Signor Katerfelto and his black cats, that old steady muscle, to join against me---humbugs altogether." He was proceeding, when the call-boy gave the wonted summons, "Mr. Incledon, the stage waits." In a moment he was at his post; but, during his song, the hoax being still uppermost in his mind, he was heard to exclaim during the symphonies--

"You ask me in vain of what ills I complain,"-(thieves!) "In my head, in my heart, it invades every part."-(B.

humbugs! &c.)

The morning sun, however, did not rise upon his wrath, and his wonted good-natured countenance resumed its happy pleasing form, for to forgive, as he hoped to be forgiven, was the motto of this worthy, good-tempered being. This is the story of the Wellington lozenge-the fact he has frequently acknowledged to me with a smile, observing, "I was fairly had, my dear boy; the humbugs were down upon me."

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