afraid of every thing, fancy every thing, and, as it is the nature of man in fear, I fancy those things most, which I am most afraid of. Let me therefore earnestly desire you to favour me, under these my apprehensions, with one letter every day, or, if possible, with two; for I shall be a little at ease while I am reading your letters, and grow anxious again as soon as I have read them."

SECOND LETTER.

"You tell me, that you are very much afflicted at my absence, and that you have no satisfaction in any thing but my writings, which you often lay by you upon my pillow. You oblige me very much in wishing to see me, and making me your comforter in my absence. In return I must let you know, I am no less pleased with the letters which you writ to me, and read them over a thousand times with new pleasure. If your letters are capable of giving me so much pleasure, what would your conversation do? Let me beg of you to write to me often; though at the same time I must confess, you letters give me anguish whilst they give me pleasure."

THIRD LETTER.

"It is impossible to conceive how much I languish for you in your absence; the tender love I bear you is the chief cause of this my uneasiness: which is still the more insupportable, because absence is wholly a new thing to us. I lie awake most part of the night in thinking of you, and several times of the day go as naturally to your apartment as if you were there to receive me; but when I miss you, I come away dejected, out of humour, and like a man that had suffered a repulse. There is but one part of the day in which I am relieved from this anxiety, and that is when I am engaged in public affairs.

"You may guess at the uneasy condition of one who has no rest but in business, no consolation but in trouble."

I shall conclude this Paper with a beautiful passage out of Milton, and leave it as a lecture to those of my own sex, who have a mind to make their conversation agreeable, as well as instructive to the fair partners who have fallen into their care. Eve having observed, that Adam was entering into some deep disquisitions with the Angel, who was sent to visit him, is described as retiring from their company, with a design of learning what should pass there from her husband.

"So spake our sire, and by his count'nance seem'd Entering on studious thoughts abstruse, which Eve Perceiving where she sat retired in sight,

With lowliness majestic from her seat

Rose and went forth among her fruit and flowers.
Yet went she not, as not with such discourse
Delighted, or not capable her ear

Of what was high. Such pleasures she reserv'd,
Adam relating, she sole auditress;

Her husband the relater she preferred

Before the angel, and of him to ask

Chose rather. He, she knew, would intermix
Grateful digressions, and solve high dispute

With conjugal caresses; from his lip

Not words alone pleased her. O! when meet now
Such pairs in love and mutual honour join'd!"

N° 150. SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 1710.

Hæc sunt jucundi causa, sibusque mali.

'Tis this that causes and foments the evil,
And gives us pleasure mixt with pain.-

R. WYNNE.

From my own Apartment, March 24.

OVID.

I HAVE received the following letter upon the subject of my last Paper. The writer of it tells me, I

there spoke of marriage as one that knows it only by speculation, and for that reason he sends me his sense of it, as drawn from experience;

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"Mr. Bickerstaff,

I have received your paper of this day, and think you have done the nuptial state a great deal of justice in the authority you give us of Pliny, whose letters to his wife you have there translated. But give me leave to tell you, that it is impossible for you, that are a bachelor, to have so just a notion of this way of life, as to touch the affections of your readers in a particular, wherein every man's own heart suggests more than the nicest observer can form to himself without experience. I, therefore, who am an old married man, have sat down to give you an account of the matter from my own knowledge, and the observations which I have made upon the conduct of others in that most agreeable or wretched condition.

"It is very commonly observed, that the most smart pangs which we meet with, are in the beginning of wedlock, which proceed from ignorance of each other's humour, and want of prudence to make allowances for a change from the most careful respect, to the most unbounded familiarity. Hence it arises, that trifles are commonly occasions of the greatest anxiety; for contradiction being a thing wholly unusual between a new married couple the smallest instance of it is taken for the highest injury and it very seldom happens, that the man is slow enough in assuming the character of a husband, or the woman quick enough in condescending to that of a wife. It immediately follows, that they think they have all the time of their courtship been talking in masks to each other, and therefore begin to act like disappointed people. Philander finds Delia ill-natured and impertinent; and Delia, Philander surly and inconstant.

"I have known a fond couple quarrel in the very honey-moon about cutting up a tart: nay, I could name two, who, after having had seven children, fell out and parted beds upon the boiling of a leg of mutton. My very next neighbours have not spoke to one another these three days, because they differed in their opinions, whether the clock should stand by the window or over the chimney. It may seem strange to you, who are not a married man, when I tell you how the least trifle can strike a woman dumb for a week together. But, if you ever enter into this state, you will find that the soft sex as often express their anger by an obstinate silence, as by an ungovernable clamour.

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Those indeed who begin this course of life without jars at their setting out, arrive within few months at a pitch of benevolence and affection, of which the most perfect friendship is but a faint resemblance. As in the unfortunate marriage, the most minute and indifferent things are objects of the sharpest resentment; so in an happy one, they are occasions of the most exquisite satisfaction. For what does not oblige in one we love? What does not offend in one we dislike? For these reasons I take it for a rule, that in marriage, the chief business is to acquire a prepossession in favour of each other. They should consider one another's words and actions with a secret indulgence. There should be always an inward fondness pleading for each other, such as may add new beauties to every thing that is excellent, give charms to what is indifferent, and cover every thing that is defective. For want of this kind propensity and bias of mind, the married pair often take things ill of each other, which no one else would take notice of in either of them.

"But the most unhappy circumstance of all is, where each party is always laying up fuel for dissension, and gathering together a magazine of provoca

tions, to exasperate each other with when they are out of humour. These people, in common discourse, make no scruple to let those who are by know, they are quarrelling with one another; and think they are discreet enough, if they conceal from the company the matters which they are hinting at. About a week ago, I was entertained for a whole dinner with a mysterious conversation of this nature: out of which I could learn no more, than that the husband and wife were angry at one another. We had no sooner sat down, but says the gentleman of the house, in order to raise discourse, I thought Margarita sung extremely well last night.' Upon this, says the lady, looking as pale as ashes, I suppose she had cherry-coloured ribbands on.' No,' answered the husband with a flush in his face, but she had laced shoes.' I look upon it, that a stander-by on such occasions has as much reason to be out of countenance as either of the combatants. To turn off my confusion and seem regardless of what had passed, I desired the servant who attended, to give me the vinegar, which unluckily created a new dialogue of hints; for, as far as I could gather by the subsequent discourse, they had dissented the day before about the preference of elder to wine vinegar. In the midst of their discourse, there appeared a dish of chicken and asparagus,* when the husband seemed disposed to lay aside all disputes; and looking upon her with a great deal of good-nature, said, Pray, my dear, will you help my friend to a wing of the fowl that lies next you, for I think it looks extremely well. The lady, instead of answering him, addressing herself to me, Pray, Sir,' said she, do you in Surrey reckon the white or the black-legged fowls the best?' I found the husband changed colour at the question; and before I could answer, asked me, Whether we did not call hops broom in our coun* Chickens and Sparagrass. O. F.

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