covenant that I had made with the Lord, in the days of my deep distress; which was, that if he would but set me clear of the enemy, command what he pleased, I would obey, let it be what it would. Frequently in assembling with the Lord's people, (and ah! it was a favour to me that I was amongst a living people!) our meetings were often favoured with lively testimonies. On such occasions, scripture sentences would impress my mind with some degree of life and power; and according to my infant state and inexperience, I felt some concern of mind to declare it to the audience, though the evidence was not so full and clear as my diffident mind requested, and really needed; for I was desirous that I might be preserved from saying, "the Lord saith, albeit, when he had not spoken."

Now this caused a strong conflict, a trying of the fleece wet and dry; my natural timidity, closely adhering to a corresponding care not to cast untimely fruit, which soon comes to decay. This made me very wary and cautious, as I believed many have taken the preparation for this office to be the commission, and so have been dwarfs. On the other hand, the covenant that I had made with the Lord, in the days of my sore bondage and deep captivity, and my

now not answering his requirings, made this a time of deep wading for me. In meetings matter would arise and spread in my mind towards the people, and yet I felt not the command. Oh! if any should be thus tried, if they are resigned, and have minds devoted; to such I would say: "Fear not, but the time will come when you will not doubt respecting the Lord's will.”

I was about nine months under this trying dispensation. Ah! this wore down the bodily strength; my knees were weak through fasting; my flesh failed, though not with refrain-. ing from food; my face was often foul and sorrowful, through much weeping; and on my eye-lids sat the shadow of death, through these winnowing, sifting seasons. And yet through all I had a little hope, which as an anchor stayed my soul, and raised a holy belief that He who was my confidence, would, in his own time, unfold the mysteries of his kingdom, and give an undoubted evidence, with unsullied clearness, that it was his will that the candle he had lighted should be set on the candlestick, to give. light to those around; and thanks be to his ever worthy name, for He fulfilled it; so that when the right time came, in which I was to open

my mouth in public, I had no doubt of its be ing his mind and will: yet through fear I reasoned it away, but was not severely chastened for it, as my heart was steadily purposed to serve Him; the will to do good was present, but in the performance I felt weak; so the Lord forgave me, and my mind enjoyed good till next meeting-day. I then, in great fear, went to our little meeting at Greysouthen. A few words presented lively, and I well remember the subject; the purport of them was, that if we were but more inward in meetings, they would be more favoured than we often found them to be. And is not this a truth at the pre sent day?

My being thus cautiously led in the beginning, has been helpful to me through the remaining part of my life, as to the ministry; in watching against false views and represen-tations, or taking the imaginary part for the revealed will of God. Oh! the peace that I felt that night, after that short testimony. It: would have been acceptable to have been dis-. solved, and to have been with Christ, which is far better.

And now I had great peace of mind, so that instead of my heart being a place for dragons,

for owls, and for screech owls; for cormorants, and for bitterns; there began to be a melody in my heart, as it were the voice of the Son of God, whose countenance is comely; and the myrtle, box, and pine sprung up in that heart that had been a breeding-place for nettles. This is the change that is wrought in man by being born again of the incorruptible seed and word of God. This was the change that was wrought in me.

I had now frequently to speak in meetings, and had satisfaction in so doing; and friends did not discountenance me in my little childlike movings; but approved, though with a godly care. And, through abundant mercy, I moved in my gift in simplicity, and did not choose for myself, nor sought for openings, nor dressed my matter according to the creaturely will; neither dared 1 to restrain openings, all which is unsavory. The Lord taught me to let it go just as it came, though with blushing I may acknowledge I lay very near a right-hand error, if I may so term it. Great was my care and fear in joining with first prospects, although often they might be such that I might conclude; "Surely the Lord's apointed is before me;" yet they have passed by, and a query has arisen :

"Are all thy children here?" A proper query this, for those who labour for the good of others ought to have an especial care over their own household.

It often happens that the anointing is witnessed on the lesser appearance; a single, seemingly a poor sentence, scarcely worth ranking with sublime unfoldings high in stature, nor produced till the last; all the rest passing by: "Send and fetch him, for we will not sit down till he come." Oh, then the holy command goes forth! "Arise, anoint him, for this is he;" and at some of these seasons the horn has been filled with oil. But this care, though laudable, yet prevailed often, so as to keep lively openings, till the tide of good was receding to the fountain or source whence it sprung; and so the testimony was not so demonstrative and explicit as otherwise it might have been; producing a half strangled though living offering. Read, you that can understand, and escape this rock on the right hand; for by this conduct I often broke our ranks in the ministry; mine that should have gone first, was last. Little vessels floating sooner than those of deep service and heavy burdens, by getting out of their way, make their passage easier and safe,