Fight-the-good-fight-of-faith White, The-peace-of-God Knight. SIMILES. Prayer is Faith's pump, where 't works till the water come; Faithful Teate's Ter. Tria., 1658. Walking in the streets, I met a cart that came near the wall; so I stepped aside, to avoid it, into a place where I was secure enough. Reflection: Lord, sin is that great evil of which thou complainest that thou art pressed as a cart is pressed: how can it then but bruise me to powder?-Caleb Trenchfield's Chris. Chymestree. EARLY PUNISHMENTS IN MASSACHUSETTS. From the early records of Massachusetts we learn that the following singular punishments were inflicted in that colony. two hundred years ago: Sir Richard Salstonstall, fined four bushels of malt for his absence from the court. Josias Plaistowe, for stealing four baskets of corn from the Indians, to return them eight baskets again, to be fined £5, and hereafter to be called Josias, not Mr. as he used to be. Thomas Peter, for suspicions of slander, idleness, and stubbornness, is to be severely whipped and kept in hold. Capt. Stone, for abusing Mr. Ludlow by calling him justass, fined £100, and prohibited coming within the patent. Joyce Dradwick to give unto Alexander Becks 20s., for promising him marriage without her friends' consent, and now refusing to perform the same. Richard Turner, for being notoriously drunk, fined £2. Edward Palmer, for his extortion in taking 32s. 7d. for the plank and work of Boston stocks, fined £5, and sentenced to sit one hour in the stocks. John White bound in £10 to good behavior, and not come into the company of his neighbor Thomas Bell's wife alone. VIRGINIA PENALTIES IN THE OLDEN TIME. From the old records in the Court House of Warwick County, Virginia, we extract some entries of decisions by the court under date of October 21, 1663. It may be worth while to remark that at that early period tobacco was not only a staple commodity but a substitute for currency. "Mr. John Harlow, and Alice his wife, being by the grand inquest presented for absenting themselves from church, are, according to the act, fined each of them fifty pounds of tobacco; and the said Mr. John Harlow ordered forthwith to pay one hundred pounds of tobacco to the sheriff, otherwise the said sheriff to levy by way of distress." "Jane Harde, the wife of Henry Harde, being presented for not 'tending church, is, according to act, fined fifty pounds of tobacco; and the sheriff is ordered to collect the same from her, and, in case of non-payment, to distress." "John Lewis, his wife this day refusing to take the oath of allegiance, being ordered her, is committed into the sheriff's custody, to remain until she take the said oath, or until further ordered to the contrary." "John Lewis, his wife for absenting herself from church, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, to be collected by the sheriff from her husband; and upon non-payment, the said sheriff to distress." "George Harwood, being prosecuted for his absenting himself from church, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, to be levied by way of distress by the sheriff upon his non-payment thereof." "Peter White and his wife, being presented for common swearing, are fined fifty pounds of tobacco, both of them; to be collected by the sheriff from the said White, and, upon nonpayment of the same, to distress." "Richard King, being presented as a common swearer, is fined fifty pounds of tobacco, to be levied by the sheriff, by way of distress, upon his non-payment. EXTRACTS FROM THE CONNECTICUT BLUE LAWS. When these free states were colonies Unto the mother nation, And in Connecticut the good Old Blue Laws were in fashion. The following extracts from the laws ordained by the people of New Haven, previous to their incorporation with the Saybrook and Hartford colonies, afford an idea of the strange character of their prohibitions. As the substance only is given in the transcription, the language is necessarily modernized: No quaker or dissenter from the established worship of the dominion shall be allowed to give a vote for the election of magistrates, or any officer. No food or lodging shall be afforded to a quaker, adamite, or other heretic. If any person turns quaker, he shall be banished, and not suffered to return, but upon pain of death. No priest shall abide in the dominion: he shall be banished, and suffer death on his return. Priests may be seized by any one without a warrant. No man to cross a river but with an authorized ferryman. or elsewhere, except reverently to and from meeting. No one shall travel, cook victuals, make beds, sweep house, cut hair or shave, on the sabbath-day. No woman shall kiss her child on the sabbath or fasting-day. The sabbath shall begin at sunset on Saturday. To pick an ear of corn growing in a neighbor's garden shall be deemed theft. A person accused of trespass in the night shall be judged guilty, unless he clear himself by oath. When it appears that an accused has confederates, and he refuses to discover them, he may be racked. No one shall buy or sell lands without permission of the selectmen. A drunkard shall have a master appointed by the selectmen, who are to debar him the liberty of buying and selling. Whoever publishes a lie to the prejudice of his neighbor, shall sit in the stocks or be whipped fifteen stripes. No minister shall keep a school. Men-stealers shall suffer death. Whoever wears clothes trimmed with gold, silver, or bone lace, above two shillings by the yard, shall be presented by the grand jurors, and the selectmen shall tax the offender at £300 estate. A debtor in prison, swearing he has no estate, shall be let out, and sold to make satisfaction. Whoever sets a fire in the woods, and it burns a house, shall suffer death; and persons suspected of this crime shall be imprisoned without benefit of bail. Whoever brings cards or dice into this dominion shall pay a fine of £5. No one shall read common-prayer, keep Christmas or saintdays, make minced pies, dance, play cards, or play on any instrument of music, except the drum, trumpet, and Jews-harp. No gospel minister shall join people in marriage; the magistrates only shall join in marriage, as they may do it with less scandal to Christ's church. When parents refuse their children convenient marriages, the magistrate shall determine the point. The selectmen, on finding children ignorant, may take them away from their parents, and put them into better hands, at the expense of their parents. A man that strikes his wife shall pay a fine of £10; a woman that strikes her husband shall be punished as the court directs. A wife shall be deemed good evidence against her husband. Married persons must live together, or be imprisoned. No man shall court a maid in person, or by letter, without first obtaining consent of her parents: £5 penalty for the first offence; £10 for the second; and for the third, imprisonment during the pleasure of the court. Every male shall have his hair cut round according to a cap. Paronomasia. Hard is the job to launch the desperate pun; A pun-job dangerous as the Indian one.-HOLMES. Life and language are alike sacred. Homicide and verbicide-that is, violent treatment of a word with fatal results to its legitimate meaning, which is its life are alike forbidden. Manslaughter, which is the meaning of the one, is the same as man's laughter, which is the end of the other.-IBID. THE quaint Cardan thus defineth :-" Punning is an art of harmonious jingling upon words, which, passing in at the ears and falling upon the diaphragma, excites a titillary motion in those parts; and this, being conveyed by the animal spirits into the muscles of the face, raises the cockles of the heart." "He who would make a pun would pick a pocket," is the stereotyped dogma fulminated by laugh-lynchers from time immemorial; or, as the Autocrat hath it, "To trifle with the Vocabulary which is the vehicle of social intercourse is to tamper with the currency of human intelligence. He who would violate the sanctities of his mother tongue would invade the recesses of the paternal till without remorse, and repeat the banquet of Saturn without an indigestion." The "inanities of this |