Lear. Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?

Stew. I'll not be struck, my lord.

[Striking bim.

Kent. Nor tripped neither; you base foot-ball player. [tripping up his heels. Lear. I thank thee, fellow; thou ferveft me, and I'll love thee.

Kent. Come, fir, arife, away; I'll teach you differences; away, away: If you will measure your lubber's length again, tarry: but away: go to; Have you wifdom? fo. [pushes the Steward out. Lear. Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there's earneft of thy fervice. [giving KENT money.

Enter FOOL,

Fool. Let me hire him too;-Here's my coxcomb.

[giving KENT his cap. Lear. How now, my pretty knave? how dost thou? Fool. Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.

Kent. Why, fool?

Fool. Why? For taking one's part that is out of favour: Nay, an thou canst not fmile as the wind fits, thou'lt catch cold shortly: There, take my coxcomb: Why, this fellow has banish'd two of his daughters, and did the third a bleffing against his will; if thou follow him, thou muft needs wear my coxcomb.-How now, nuncle? 'Would I had two coxcombs, and two daugh

ters!

Lear. Why, my boy?

Fool. If I gave them all my living, I'd keep my coxcombs myfelf: There's mine; beg another of thy daugh

ters.

Lear. Take heed, firrah, the whip.

Fool. Truth's a dog that must to kennel; he must be

whipp'd out, when Lady, the brach, may stand by the fire

and stink.

Lear. A peftilent gall to me!

Fool. Sirrah, I'll teach thee a fpeech.

Lear. Do.

Fool. Mark it, nuncle:

Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou oweft,
Ride more than thou goeft,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throweft;
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,

And thou fhalt have more

Than two tens to a score.

Lear. This is nothing, fool.

Fool. Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer: you gave me nothing for't: Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle?

Lear. Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing.

Fool. Pr'ythee, tell him, fo much the rent of his land comes to; he will not believe a fool.

Lear. A bitter fool!

[TO KENT.

Fool. Doft thou know the difference, my boy, between

a bitter fool and a fweet fool?

Lear. No, lad; teach me.

Fool.

That lord, that counsel'd thee

To give away thy land,
Come place him here by me,-

Or do thou for him ftand:
The sweet and bitter fool

Will presently appear;

The

The one in motley here,

The other found out there.

Lear. Doft thou call me fool, boy

Fool. All thy other titles thou haft given away; that thou waft born with.

Kent. This is not altogether fool, my lord.

Fool. No, 'faith, lords and great men will not let me; if I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't: and ladies too, they will not let me have all fool to myself; they'll be snatching. Give me an egg, nuncle, and I'll give thee two crowns.

Lear. What two crowns fhall they be?

Fool. Why, after I have cut the egg i' the middle, and eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown i'the middle, and gaveft away both parts, thou boreft thine afs on thy back over the dirt: Thou had'ft little wit in thy bald crown, when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in this, let him be whipp'd that first finds it so.

Fools had ne'er lefs grace in a year;

For wife men are grown foppish;

And know not how their wits to wear,

Their manners are fo apifh.

[Singing.

Lear. When were you wont to be fo full of songs, firrah?

Fool. I have used it, nuncie, ever fince thou madeft thy daughters thy mother; for when thou gavest them the rod, and put'ft down thine own breeches,

Pr'ythee, nuncle, keep a fchool-master that can teach thy fool to lie; I would fain learn to lie.

Lear. If you lie, firrah, we'll have you whipp'd.

Fool. I marvel, what kin thou and thy daughters are: they'll have me whipp'd for speaking true, thou'lt have me whipp'd for lying; and, fometimes, I am whipp'd for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind of thing, than a fool and yet I would not be thee, nuncle; thou haft pared thy wit o' both fides, and left nothing in the middle: Here comes one o' the parings.

Enter GONERIL.

Lear. How now, daughter? what makes that frontlet on? Methinks, you are too much of late i' the frown.

Fool. Thou waft a pretty fellow, when thou had'st no need to care for her frowning; now thou art an O without a figure: I am better than thou art now: I am a fool, thou art nothing.-Yes, forfooth, I will hold my tongue; fo your face [to GoN.] bids me, though you say nothing. Mum, mum,

He that keeps nor crust nor crum,

Weary of all, fhall want fome.

That's a fheal'd peafcod.

[pointing to LEAR.

Gon. Not only, fir, this your all-licens'd fool,

But other of your infolent retinue

Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth

In rank and not-to-be-endured riots. Sir,

I had thought, by making this well known unto you,
To have found a fafe redress; but now grow fearful,
By what yourself too late have spoke and done,
That you protect this courfe, and put it on
By your allowance; which if you should, the fault
Would not 'fcape cenfure, nor the redreffes fleep;
Which, in the tender of a wholesome weal,

Might in their working do you that offence,
Which else were shame, that then neceflity
Will call discreet proceeding.

Fool. For you trow, nuncle,

The hedge-fparrow fed the cuckoo fo long,
That it had its head bit off by its young.

So, out went the candle, and we were left darkling.

Lear. Are you our daughter?

Gon. Come, fir, I would, you would make use of that good wifdom whereof I know you are fraught; and put away these difpofitions, which of late transform you from what you rightly are.

Fool. May not an afs know when the cart draws the horse?-Whoop, Jug! I love thee.

Lear. Does any here know me ?-Why this is not Lear: does Lear walk thus? fpeak thus? Where are his eyes? Either his notion weakens, or his difcernings are lethargied.-Sleeping or waking?-Ha! fure 'tis not fo.-Who is it that can tell me who I am?-Lear's fhadow? I would learn that; for by the marks of fovereignty, knowledge, and reason, I should be false perfuaded I had daughters.— Fool. Which they will make an obedient father. Lear. Your name, fair gentlewoman?

Gon. Come, fir;

This admiration is much o' the favour

Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you
To understand my purposes aright:

:

As you are old and reverend, you should be wife
Here do you keep a hundred knights and fquires;
Men fo disorder'd, fo debauch'd, and bold,
That this our court, infected with their manners,
Shows like a riotous inn: epicurism and luft
Make it more like a tavern, or a brothel,
Than a grac'd palace. The fhame itself doth speak

For