prescribed that my BIBLE, (which had become my constant companion,) should be thrown aside; and that by more busy, worldly engagements, my mind should be diverted from my melancholy theme. You once, said they, (with reference to my days of vanity,) were doing well, and were useful in the world; and you then had the smiles of approbation from all around you: but now, what, in all probability, will be your future life? Will not an ungodly world, have it at last to say of your religion, that it has only had a tendency to render you contemptible among men, and that it has deprived you of your former joys, and wrought none other, in effect, than your own undoing.

KIND HEAVEN forbid, exclaimed I, that I should ever become a disparagement to the cause of truth, or my example, a discouragement, in any degree, to those around me, from ever seeking the salvation of their souls! I hence strove sometimes to live as other people lived, and to quiet myself with the idea that all was well: but in busying myself with earthly concerns, I always plunged, as it were, into the very nethermost hell, where there was nothing but hopeless misery. The earth, with all its boasted wealth, had no remaining charm for me. Could I gain the whole world, as I thought, at a stroke, it would be no more to me than a heap of sordid dust; and I would spurn it with the utmost indignation from my presence, as a price too mean, by far, for my immortal soul.

“A world lying in darkness, was continually in view-and Oh, the very idea, that they were daily plunging into hell, whose blood, at the dread tri

I

bunal of Jehovah, would be required at my hand, filled me almost with outrage and despair. often withdrew to the fields, where I prostrated myself upon the earth, and gave vent to my full heart, with agonizing cries and tears; but from the oppressive, dreadful burden of my mind, nothing, however, appeared to afford me any relief. By rejecting the impression of preaching the Gospel to a ruined world, I always found my hell of soul to increase; consequently, I looked no longer from that source to reap the least consolation. Yea, it seemed at times, that even the regions of darkness contained no fiercer pain for me, than the sense I had of the abuse of my time, talents and privileges, while precious souls were daily hurled into destruction. The words were enforced upon my mind, "Take the wicked and slothful servant, that prepared not himself, nor did his master's will, and cast him into outer darkness where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth." I thought I was willing to spend my future life in sorrow, provided I might be saved at last, and be instrumental in saving souls, or even one soul, from the "wrath which is to come;" and I began now to be convinced, that upon this work of saving souls, exclusively, my own eternal all depended: and hence, said I, "Necessity is laid upon me, and woe is me if I preach not the Gospel!""

It had never been, with myself, any controverted point, (although it is such with many others of the present day,) whether the preaching of the Gospel by females was justifiable or not, but rather to the reverse. I ever believed, that in CHRIST JESUS they were one, both male and

female: and that, according to both the OLD and the NEW TESTAMENTS, holy women, as well as "holy men of God," were wont to speak, as they were moved by the HOLY GHOST, (which amounts to none other, more or less, than the preaching of the Gospel.) I believed, moreover, that in these last days, especially, the word and kingdom of grace should be widely diffused throughout the earth; and that upon both "servants and handmaids," the spirit of the LORD should be very profusely poured forth, and they should prophecy.With regard, particularly, to the term 'prophecy,' the question had once been agitated with me, whether its meaning was totally definite, and to be confined, merely, to the foretelling of future events; or whether it related to any mode of public instruction, either by testimony or by action, in the things pertaining to the kingdom of GOD. on application of myself to the Word of GOD, I found it expressly recorded, "The testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy:"* And likewise, "He that prophecyeth, speaketh to edification, and exhortation, and comfort." I learned moreover, from the writings of the Old Testament, that both the sons and the daughters of Heman, "prophecied" and praised GoD, with cymbals, psalteries, harps, &c. I hence became satisfied for myself, that according to the Scriptures, the word "prophecy" implied not only the foretelling of future events, but often related to public testimony, and also to public action in instrumental music, &c. &c. whether produced by the ener

But

*Rey. xix, & 10. † 1 Cor. xiv. & 3. Chro. xxv. & 5.

gies of either sex, male or female. And I here, likewise, take the liberty to offer a few reflections of more recent origin. Under the Mosaic Dispensation, females, in number, four, were particularly denominated prophetesses, viz. Miriam, Huldah, Deborah and Noadiah; the latter of whom was false. Of the New Testament, and under the present Dispensation, were there, in number, six, expressly designated by the same appellation, viz: Anna, the four daughters of Philip, and Jezebel: the latter of whom was vile. We hence perceive, of these women, one, to the number four, was proved false: but of the opposite gender, (it is worthy to be remembered,) in the days of the Prophet Elijah, were found four hundred and fifty that were false, to the little number one, that was true. And what of all this, I ask, if we are to make a similar estimate of the two distinct genders, for the present day? The Scriptures forewarn us; it cannot be denied, that in the last days "perilous times shall come:" and that many false prophets and false teachers shall arise, &c. But is it once suggested, pray, that from those of the finer mould, (women,) there shall be any such occasion of alarm? No. Why then the hue and cry of false teachers! Fy! Fy! if a single female, constrained by love to precious souls, should forsake her own advantage, to win them to the LORD? Oh, it is because the world abounds with priestcraft and superstition! Pope! Bishop! Priest! hirelings, who of filthy lucre can never have enough! "These shall receive the greater damnation."

Nearly two years had consequently elapsed, and

the perpetual conflicts of my mind, occasioned a visible decline in my health, and I was as one drawing near to my long and silent home. Days and nights in succession, I spent in weeping; and wondered that any countenance near me could ever wear a smile. But the words were set home with comfort to my mind, "Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears, for thy work shall be rewarded.” It did not appear, at

this time, that there was any thing that I could do among my own people; but it seemed to be abroad, in a wide world; and that I must get out, from my own country and kindred, as Abram did, to a land I knew not of. I had now relinquished all hope of ever seeing again a happy day upon the earth, but in travelling creation to invite sinners to repentance. Nor even then, had I any expectation of sharing that measure of joy and peace in CHRIST JESUS, of which I had once so richly partook: and, said I, it is just with GoD, that I should not, (even after a life wasted in suffering, and in toil,) on the account of my disobedience and base ingratitude to HIM. While I saw my flesh decaying, and eternal things, as it were, impending, with how much more comparative case, said I, could I now resign my life, having that joyful hope in CHRIST, which once was mine, than to go up and down the earth, to be made a gazing-stock to an ill, misjudging world; and the butt of envy to all the combined powers of earth and hell, during my stay below: Oh, to die an hundred deaths, could that be possible, I should esteem but light, compared with this stupendous work, which now lies before me. It will