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Addle. Quite made up. I will not draw a trigger in cold blood-I'll be shot if I do! and now my heart's at ease, Walking about.]

Gov. This is extremely strange! Indeed→→

Addle. [Seeing the colonel entering.] My fit is come on again: I tremble all over like a mandarin-here comes my master! but probably he'll not know me in my new clothes. [Sneaks away to the opposite side.] Enter COLONEL ORMOND.

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Orm. [Looking at Addle.] Thomas my servant, as I live.

Gov. His servant!

Addle. Even so, gentlemen, there's no use of carrying the cheat farther.

Squeeze. [Aside and surprised.] Governor! a lost cause! This bill is returned ignoramus.

Addle. Bob, this is dashing. [Aside to Squeezeall.] We shall be hanged, Bob,-so much for dashing. Orm. [To Addle] What excuse can you make for your conduct?

Addle. None, Sir, but the most sincere penitence for my folly; and if you forgive me for being a gentleman this once, I shall, with your permission, wait on you for life, and be your grateful, sincere, very faithful, humble servant to the end of my days.

ORMOND nods assent, ADDLE bows.

Squeeze. If in our favour should the court decree,
Addle. A servant faithful shall they find in me;
Squeeze. Retrain'd with pleasure in the public cause.
Addle. Then let our wages be—your kind applause.

A CHOP-HOUSE.

Described by a Dog, a sagacious Observer.

"So faithful dogs..

....

They start, they gaze around,
Watch ev'ry side, and turn to ev'ry sound."

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I PASSED by the door of a chop-house. Seeing several persons enter, I resolved to make one among them, and was fortunate enough to get in unperceived. I took my station under one of the tables. In a short time men of all sizes and colours flocked in, and by continually calling about them, kept the waiters so well employed that they had not leisure to notice me.

Bones half picked, and bits of bread assailed me from all quarters. I feasted sumptuously; after which, attentively examining the persons assembled, I made reflections on each as I passed them in review, and set down in my own mind their tempers, talents, and situations in life.

Two epicures first caught my attention, while devouring a capon and oyster-sauce, they talked of the public funds and politics in general. "Shall we have peace?" said one.-"Yes," replied the other, with a deep sigh." So much the worse!"-" I shall find it so. There will be no means of turning a penny then; no more contracts; trade will flourish again; your honest men will thrive; such a state of things does not suit our market."-" Luckily," rejoined the other; “I have made hay while the sun shone; my little bit of property in the country brings me in a couple of thousand a year, and I bought it with my savings. So I am pretty easy as to what turn affairs may take." "As

for me," said his companion, "I would give a few hundreds for the war to continue a year or two longer. There is no fishing with success but in troubled water. You know A- ; well, it was only the other day he was a shopman; he set up for himself, got credit, entered into contracts, and now he is worth a plum."

At another table two braggarts were relating their warlike exploits."Pray gentlemen, what battles may you have been present at?" said an officer with only one arm,-"O, as to that," answered one of these pretended heroes, "we could not easily tell you; for both my comrade and I were always blinded with the smoke of the powder. All we know is that we fought like devils." The officer turned his back upon them with a sneer,

At one corner of the room four authors were making merry at the expence of their brethren: they mangled their works, criticised without mercy the acknowledged master-pieces of some great men, laughed aloud at the sorry puns of each other, and composed satires for the newspapers. And there were beardless youths, whose backs were hardly recovered from the correction they had received at school: they took great credit with themselves for having the evening before hissed a piece of one of the best dramatic writers of the day.-Ye caterpillars of Parnassus, you become butterflies, it is true; but never forget that your wings are tender, and that a breath is sufficient to crush you.-Let the noisy and impertinent wasp respect the industry of the bee.

While I was still busily examining this self-sufficient quartetto, I was interrupted by a violent noise which proceeded from the opposite side of the room. On turning my head, greatly terrified, I perceived a man

dashing down and breaking to pieces every thing that came in his way, and then tearing his hair up by the root. This sight set the company in motion. The master of the house insisted on being paid for the broken bottles and glasses: How was this to be done? the poor wretch did not possess a farthing: he was a gamester, who, by an unlucky throw, had just lost all that he had remaining of a considerable fortune. Finding nothing else to exercise his fury upon, he was about to snatch up a knife, for the purpose, doubtless, of plunging it into his breast, when several of his friends dragged him away from the theatre of his vengeance.

And such are men! False, wicked, knaves, or gamesters; but what happiness is there in reflecting, that there are still some whose merit and virtue make amends for the vicious and immoral conduct of others!

WHAT IS LIFE BUT A ROMANCE!

"Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player
That frets 2nd struts his hour upon a stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.'
... SHAKESPEAR.

WHERE is the man, (I speak of him who from birth and éducation mixes with society,) who has not met with some of those extraordinary events, which nobody believes if found in a book, but which are given full credit to, when related by the hero himself?-Travel in a diligence or stage-coach: at first you look about

you, and say nothing; soon afterwards you get a little acquainted with your fellow travellers; and at length, after mutual observations and discoveries, in order to amuse one another, you tell, by turns, all the wonderful accidents that have happened to you through life.

This gentleman escaped being killed by a most miraculous interposition of Providence. The one opposite him has been shipwrecked at least half a dozen times; taken by corsairs, and carried to Tunis as a slave; from whence, after employing a thousand ingenious devices, he succeeded in regaining his freedom. His neighbour on the right hand, informs you with great modesty, that, when he was upon his travels, having to cross a desert, his horse and himself lived eight days without eating or drinking.

A lady then gives a circumstantial account of falling into a fish-pond when she was a child; that she had sunk twice, and was going down the third time, when she was rescued from a watery grave by a large Newfoundland dog of her father's, who leaped into the pond and brought her out in safety. A military gentleman seated next her, takes the opportunity of the discourse turning on highwaymen, to express his contempt of them; and assures the company, that he was once attacked on such a road by banditti; that he alone resisted the whole body, killed four with his own hand, and put the rest to flight.

The conversation at length turns upon the fair sex; and a dashing blade, of about two-and-twenty, asserts that, God forgive him, he has deceived ten women at a time, that the only one he ever really loved, was seduced by his rival; and that at last he had married one,

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