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prayed, and taught the disciples the paternoster; the tombs of the prophets; the place where Christ foretold the destruction of Jerusalem, which is marked by a broken column and an olive-tree; the cottage of St. Pelasgia, the penitent, who came to Antioch in the dress of a man, and, taking the name of Pelasgius, led there a monastic life.
MATRIMONIAL STORM, .
“ságos jeig ass Squ'TosGLY EUA TATOy xaxsy." Frag. Vet. Poet.
“ Wedlock’s an ill men eagerly embrace.” In the Christmas holidays, the schoolboy's welcome season, I forget the year, Tom and I were resolved to enjoy all the pleasures of it; for this purpose we paid a visit to a distant relation, a sprightly female, whoz, though she had been married ten years, could enter into all our amusements with as much spirit as any boarding-school miss in the kingdom. Her husband was what we called a bon vivant, that loved his bottle and friend, and if he could enjoy the present moment, never thought of the next; and that is more than some of your boasted sages could effect, notwithstanding all their preachments. Wewere received in the most friendly manner by the lady, with that look and tone which conveyed the cordial welcome; we were conducted into a room, where we found a table ready furnished with wholesome viands and a bottle of sparkling champaign. This sunshine was for a moment overcast by an envious cloud, that sometimes darkens the matrimonial sky;
nay, even the most serene. The husband soon after entered, when the following dialogue commenced; and as there was a pen and ink in the room, Tom took down every word, the reading of which, after dinner, afforded a great deal of laughter to the loving couple; for, in reality, they were so, notwithstanding these little gusts.
Wife. Without either rhyme or reason; you'd be miserable beings without us, for all that.
Husband. Sometimes: there is no general rule withqut an exception; I could name some very good women.
Wife. Without a head, I suppose ?
Husband. It would be a still greater if I could not; for instance, there is Mrs. Dawson, the best of wives; always at home, whenever you call; always in good humour; always neat and clean, sober and discreet. ¿ Wife. I wish you were tied to her. Always at home! the greatest gossipper in the parish; she may well smile, she has nothing to ruffle her temper; neat and çlean, she has nothing else to do; sober, she can take a glass as well as her neighbours; discreet, that's another word, she can tip a wink-but I detest scandal: I am surprised you did'nt say she was handsome?
Husband. So she is, in my eye.
Wife. You have a fine eye to be sure; you're an excellent judge of beauty : what do you think of her nose? Husband. She's a fine woman in spite of her nose.
Wife. Fine feathers make fine birds: she can paint her withered cheeks, and pencil her eyebrows.
Husband. You can do the same, if you please.
Wife. My cheeks don't want paint, nor my eyebrows pencilling.
Husband. True, the rose of youth and beauty is still on your cheeks, and your brow is the bow of Cupid,
Wife. You once thought so; but that moving mum. my, Molly Dawson, is your favourite. She's, let me see, no gossip, and yet she's found in every house but her own; and so silent too, when she has all the clack to herself; her tongue is as thin as sixpence with talking; with a pair of eyes burned into the socket, and painted pannels into the bargain; and then, as to scandal—but her tongue bears no scandal.
Husband. Take care, there's such a thing as standing in a white sheet!
Wife. Curse youl you would provoke a saint.
Wife. Is it any wonder? A white sheet! you ought to be tossed in a blanket. Handsome, I can't forget that word: charms are lost upon such a tasteless fellow as you.
Husband. The charms of your tongue.
Wife. Don't provoke me, or I'll fing this dish at your head.
Husband. Well, I have done.
Wife. But I hav'nt done: I wish I had drown'd my. self the first day I saw you.
Husband. It's not too late.
Husband. You'd be the first to cut me down.
Hushund. Then its time for me to withdraw: I see by your eyes that the storm is collecting.
Wife. And it shall burst on your head.
Husband. I'll save my poor head, if I can. A good retreat is better than a bad battle. (Husband flies, the dish flies ufter him.)
The real face returns, the counterfeit is lost.
Squeeze. [Reads.] Beg a thousand pardons—do, Sir, pray sit.—[ Aside, reuds.] Confusion! what do I see? --Sir, you know the contents of this paper.
Addle. The contents! Oh, yes!--[Aside.] Curse me if I do! The attorney seems mightily alarmed.
Squeeze. Governor Freeman mentions that Colonel Ormond will deliver me this letter, and that he also carries with him a power of attorney, that puts him in possession, and supersedes me as agent to the governor's estate.-[Aside.] Was ever any thing so unlucky?
Addle. Egad, 'tis well; as I have lost my own place, I'll pop ‘into my master's. (Aside.]-Yes, Sir, Colonel Ormond does deliver you the letter - I have the power of attorney in my pocket.- Ay, you stare; a decayed livery is, to be sure, a strange uniform for a colonel of a marching regiment; but people are not to be taken by their looks, Mr. Attorney, or I should have taken you for a French postilion.'
Squeeze. - Why, but for the rejoinder, your dress might have occasioned a demur.
Addle. Ha! ba!- that's whimsical enough-I'll explain it to you. You must know, on our passage, we met with an enemy. I instantly changed clothes with my servant, filled his pocket secretly with rupees, surrendered him as a hostage instead of myself, to let the rest escape_secured the papers - escaped suspicion—and here I am.
Squeeze. Admirably managed ! you have recovered his suit, and he has pocketed the fees. Pray, colonel, how long is it since you left India?
Addle. About four months; but lost all in that çurst engagement at sea. The taking away my servant and baggage has distressed me beyond measure-egad, it has not left me a single rupee.
Squeeze. [ Aside.] A snug brief — just the very thing for my purpose. Colonel Ormond, I am sorry to hear that you are distressed; but you may command me: I'll be your exchequer; draw away: your bills shall never be returned ignoramus.
Addle. Spoke like an honest fellow: give me your hand; you shall still continue the agent.
Squeeze. Retained in the same cause, You'll find