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And that shall be the day, whene'er it lights,
K. Hen. A hundred thousand rebels die in this :Thou shalt have charge, and sov’reign trust, herein.
Enter Sir Walter BLUNT. How now, good Blunt ? thy looks are full of speed.
Blunt. So is the business that I come to speak of. Lord Mortimer of Scotland hath sent word, That Douglas, and the English rebels, met, The eleventh of this month, at Shrewsbury: A mighty and a fearful head they are, If promises be kept on every hand, As ever offer'd foul play in a state. K. Hen. The Earl of Westmoreland sets forth to
day; With him my son, Lord John of Lancaster;
For this advertisement is five days old :-
The Boar's Head Tavern in Eastcheap.
Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH.
Fal. Bardolph, am I not fallen away vilely since This last action? do I not bate? do I not dwindle ? Why, my skin hangs about me like an old lady's loose
gown; I am wither'd like an old apple-John.Well, I'll repent, and that suddenly, while I am in some liking; I shall be out of heart shortly, and then I shall have no strength to repent. An I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, I am a peppercorn, a brewer's horse.—The inside of a church !- Company, villanous company, hath been the spoil of me.
Bard. Sir John, you are so fretful, you cannot live long.
Fal. Why, there is it:-come, sing me a song; make me merry. I was as virtuously given as a gentleman need to be ; virtuous enough: swore little ; diced, not above seven times a week; went to a bordello, not above once in a quarter-of an hour; paid money that I borrowed, three or four times; lived
well, and in good compass: and now I live out of all order, out of all compass.
Bard. Why, you are so fat, Sir John, that you must needs be out of all compass; out of all reasonable compass, Sir John.
Fal. Do thou amend thy face, and I'll amend my life: thou art our admiral-thou bear'st the lantern in the poop,mbut 't is in the nose of thee; thou art the knight of the burning lamp.
Bard. Why, Sir John, my face does you no harm.
Fal. No, I'll be sworn; I make as good use of it as many a man doth of a death's head,
or a memento mori: I never see thy face, but I think upon hell-fire, and Dives that liv'd in purple; for there he is in his robes, burning, burning. --When thou rann'st up Gads Hill in the night, to catch my horse, if I did not think thou hadst been an ignis fatuus, or a ball of wild-fire, there's no purchase in money. O, thou art a perpetual triumph, an everlasting bonfire light! Thou hast saved me a thousand marks in links and torches, walking with thee in the night betwixt tavern and tavern: but the sack that thou hast drunk me, would have bought me lights as good cheap, at the dearest chandler's in Europe. I have maintained that salamander of yours with fire, any time this two and thirty years; Heaven reward me for it!
Bard. 'Sblood, I would my face were in your belly !
Fal. God-a-mercy! so should I be sure to be heart-burned.
dame Partlet the hen ? have you inquired yet who picked my pocket?
Host. Why, Sir John! what do you think, Sir John? Do you think I keep thieves in my
houseI have searched, I have inquired, so has my husband,
man by man, boy by boy, servant by servant: the tithe of a hair was never lost in my house before.
Fal. You lie, hostess : Bardolph was shav'd, and lost many a hair: and I'll be sworn my pocket was picked : go to, you are a woman, go.
Host. Who I? I defy thee: I was never called so in mine own house before.
Fal. Go to, I know you well enough.
Host. No, Sir John; you do not know me, Sir John: I know you, Sir John: you owe me money, Sir John, and now you pick a quarrel to beguile me of it: I bought you a dozen of shirts to your back.
Fal. Dowlas, filthy dowlas: I have given them away to bakers' wives, and they have made bolters of them,
Host. Now, as I am a true woman, Holland of eight shillings an ell. You owe money here besides, Sir John, for your diet and by-drinkings; and money lent you, four and twenty pounds.
Fål. He had his part of it; let him pay.
Fal. How! poor? look upon his face; what call you rich ? let ihem coin his nose, let them coin bis cheeks; I'll not pay a denier. What, will you make a younker of me? shall I not take mine ease în mine inn, but I shall have my pocket picked? I have lost a seal ring of my grandfaiher's, worth forty mark.
Host. O, I have heard the prince tell him, I know not how oft, that the ring was copper.
Fal. How! the prince is a Jack, a sneak-cup; and if he were here, I would cudgel him like a dog, if he would say so, Enter Henry, Prince of Wales, playing on his
Truncheon, like a Fife ; and Falstaff meets him. How now, lad ? is the wind in that door, i'faith? Must we all march?
Bard. Yea, two and two, Newgate fashion.
P. Hen. What say'st thou, mistress Quickly? How does thy husband ? I love him well, he is an honest
Host. Good my lord, hear me.
Fal. The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras, and had my pocket picked: this house is turned bawdy-house, they pick pockets.
P. Hen. What didst thou lose, Jack ?
Fal. Wilt thou believe me, Hal? three or four bonds of forty pound apiece, and a seal-ring of my grandfather's.
P. Hen. A trifle, some eight-penny matter.
Host. So I told him, my lord; and I said, I heard your grace say so: And, my lord, he speaks most vilely of you, like a foul-mouthed man as he is; and said, he would cudgel you.
P. Hen. What? he did not?
Host. There's neither faith, truth, nor womanhood in me else.
Fal. There's no more faith in thee than in a stew'd prune; nor no more truth in thee, than in a drawn fox; and for womanhood, maid Marian may be the deputy's wife of the ward to thee. Go, you thing, go.
Host. Say, what thing? what thing i
Host. I am no thing to thank Heaven on, I would thou shouldst know it; I am an honest man's wife : and, setting thy knighthood aside, thou art a knave to call me so.
Fal. Setting thy womanhood aside, thou art a beast to say otherwise.
Host. Say, what beast, thou knave thou?