SCENE III-A Room in PETRUCHIO's House.
Enter KATHARINA and GRUMIO.
Gru. No, no, forsooth; I dare not, for my life.
Kath. The more my wrong, the more his spite appears.
What, did he marry me to famish me?
Beggars, that come unto my father's door
Upon entreaty, have a present alms;
If not, elsewhere they meet with charity:
But, I, who never knew how to entreat,
Nor never needed, that I should entreat,
Am starv'd for meat, giddy for lack of sleep;
With oaths kept waking, and with brawling fed.
And that which spites me more than all these wants,
He does it under name of perfect love;
As who should say, if I should sleep, or eat,
'T were deadly sickness, or else present death.
I pr'ythee go, and get me some repast;
I care not what, so it be wholesome food.
Gru. What say you to a neat's foot?
Come, tailor, let us see these ornaments;
Enter Haberdasher.
Lay forth the gown.-What news with you, sır?
Hab. Here is the cap your worship did bespeak.
Pet. Why, this was moulded on a porringer,
A velvet dish-fie, fie! 't is lewd and filthy.
Why, 't is a cockle or a walnut shell,
A knack, a toy, a trick, a baby's cap;
Away with it come, let me have a bigger.
Kath. I'll have no bigger: this doth fit the time,
And gentlewomen wear such caps as these.
Pet. When you are gentle, you shall have one too;
And not till then.
Hor.
[Aside.] That will not be in haste.
Kath. Why, sir, I trust, I may have leave to speak.
And speak I will; I am no child, no babe:
Your betters have endur'd me say my mind,
And, if you cannot, best you stop your ears.
My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Kath. 'T is passing good: I pr'ythee let me have it. Or else my heart, concealing it, will break:
Gru. I fear, it is too choleric a meat.
How say you to a fat tripe, finely broil'd?
Kath. I like it well: good Grumio fetch it me.
Gru. I cannot tell; I fear, 't is choleric.
What say you to a piece of beef, and mustard?
Kath. A dish that I do love to feed upon.
Gru. Ay, but the mustard is too hot a little.
Kath. Why, then the beef, and let the mustard rest.
Gru. Nay, that I will not: you shall have the
mustard,
Or else you get no beef of Grumio.
Kath. Then both, or one, or any thing thou wilt.
Gru. Why then, the mustard without the beef.
Kath. Go, get thee gone, thou false deluding slave.
[Beats him.
That feed'st me with the very name of meat.
Sorrow on thee, and all the pack of you,
That triumph thus upon my misery!
Go: get thee gone, I say.
Enter PETRUCHIO with a dish of meat, and HORTENSIO.
Pet. How fares my Kate? What, sweeting, all amort?
Hor. Mistress, what cheer?
Kath.
'Faith, as cold as can be.
Pet. Pluck up thy spirits; look cheerfully upon me.
Here, love; thou seest how diligent I am,
To dress thy meat myself, and bring it thee:
[Sets the dish on a table.
I am sure, sweet Kate, this kindness merits thanks.
What! not a word? Nay then, thou lov'st it not,
And all my pains is sorted to no proof'.-
Here, take away this dish.
Kath.
I pray you, let it stand.
Pet. The poorest service is repaid with thanks,
And so shall mine, before you touch the meat.
Hor. Signior Petruchio, fie! you are to blame.
And, rather than it shall, I will be free,
Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.
Pet. Why, thou say'st true: it is a paltry cap,
A custard-coffin', a bauble, a silken pie.
I love thee well, in that thou lik'st it not.
Kath. Love me, or love me not, I like the cap,
And it I will have, or I will have none.
Pet. Thy gown? why, ay:-come, tailor, let us see't.
O. mercy, God !-what masking stuff is here?
What's this? a sleeve? 't is like a demi-cannon:
What! up and down, carv'd like an apple-tart?
Here's snip, and nip, and cut, and slish, and slash,
Like to a censer in a barber's shop.-
Why, what, o' devil's name, tailor, call'st thou this?
Hor. [Aside.] I see, she 's like to have neither cap
Tai. You bid me make it orderly and well,
According to the fashion, and the time.
Pet. Marry, and did; but if you be remember'd,
I did not bid you mar it to the time.
Go, hop me over every kennel home,
For you shall hop without my custom, sir.
I'll none of it: hence! make your best of it.
Kath. I never saw a better-fashion'd gown,
More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable.
Belike, you mean to make a puppet of me
Pet. Why, true; he means to make a puppet of
thee.
Tai. She says, your worship means to make a puppet of her.
Pet. O, monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread,
Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!
Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter cricket thou !.—
Brav'd in mine own house with a skein of thread?
Come, mistress Kate, I'll bear you company. [me.-Away! thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant,
Pet. [Aside.] Eat it up all, Hortensio, if thou lov'st
[To her.] Much good do it unto thy gentle heart!
Kate, eat apace. And now, my honey love,
Will we return unto thy father's house,
And revel it as bravely as the best,
With silken coats, and caps, and golden rings,
With ruffs, and cuffs, and farthingales, and things;
With scarfs, and fans, and double change of bravery,
With amber bracelets, beads, and all this knavery.
What! hast thou din'd? The tailor stays thy leisure,
To deck thy body with his ruffling treasure.
1 Dispirited. 2 Approof, approbation.
Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard,
As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv'st.
I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr'd her gown.
Tai. Your worship is deceiv'd: the gown is made
Just as my master had direction.
Grumio gave order how it should be done.
Gru. I gave him no order: I gave him the stuff.
Tai. But how did you desire it should be made?
Gru. Marry, sir, with needle and thread.
Tai. But did you not request to have it cut?
Gru. Thou hast faced many things.
The crust of a pie was so called.
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