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ble life forever. I will henceforth devote myself to the cause of virtue and humanity.

Mort. Why, that's well said; there spoke your father, from within you; now, begone; fly to the altars of your country's cares; visit that nurse of contemplation, solitude; and, while you range your groves, that shook at every rattle of the dice, ask of your reason, why you was a gamester.

Lord A. I've been a madam; I have lost an humble, faithful friend, whose services would be invaluable..

Mort. Why, ay, your Highlander; your poor Macleod! Our plan must stop, without his help. I am but a projector, he must execute. But there, likewise, I can serve you.

Lord A. My friend! Mortimer, how much have I mistaken thee!

Mort. Come, come; I have my faults. I'm an untoward fellow, and stand as much in need of a reform as any of you all. (Enter Doctor Druid, followed by Colin.)

Dr. D. Tutor me, truly! talk to me! Pray, gentlemen, pear witness; is Master Colins here, a proper teacher of the tialects, d'ye see? and pronunciations of the English tongue?

Col. Why not? Is there not Duncar. Ross, of Aberdeen, that lactures twice a week on oratory, at the Seven Dials? And does not Sawney Ferguson, a cousin of mine awn, administer the English language, in its utmost alegance, at Amsterdam?

Dr. D. Pear witness, that is all I say, pear witness.

Mort. We do; there is not one of us, doctor, but can bear witness to some noble act of Colin's; and we would not wound his harmless vanity for any bribe that you can offer.

Lord A. Colin, I've done you wrong, but I was not myself; be you no worse a servant than you have been, and you shall find, henceforward, I will be a better master.

Col. I'm satisfied; an you'll neglect yoursall na more than Heaven sends misfor. I shall do, things will gang well enow. tune, but the de'il sends mischief.

Dr. D. Well, Master Colins, all is past and over; you have got your place again, and all is well. Coot now, let me admon. ish you, for the future, to be quiet, and hear reason; moderate your choler, and your passions, and your partialities; it is not for a clown like you to prattle and tispute with me; in fait, you should know petter.

Col. Hoot, Welchy! (Exit.)

Mort. Come, come, doctor, 'tis you that should know bet.

ter; in this poor Highlander, the force of prejudice has some plea, because he is a clown; but you, a citizen that should be of the world, whose heart philosophy and travel might have opened, should know better than to join the cry with those, whose charity, like the limitation of brief, stops short at Ber wick, and never circulates beyond the Tweed. By heaven, -I'd rather weed out one such unmanly prejudice from the hearts of my countrymen, than add another Indies to their empire, (Exeunt.)

XXXI.-FROM THE VILLAGE LAWYER.-Anonymous.

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SCOUT, A VILLAGE LAWYER-SNARL, A MISERLY MERCHANT-MITTIMUS, JUSTICE OF THE PEACE SHEEPEACE, SNARL'S SHEP. HERD-CHARLĖS, SNARL'S SON-CLERK, CONSTABLES, &C.— MRS. SCOUT.

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Snarl.-There, now, he's fancying himself a tailor, and at work upon my cloth.

Scene 1.-A Room in Scout's house.

(Without.--Mr. and Mrs. Scout.)

Mrs. Scout. I tell you it shall be

Scout. Nay! nay! but, my dear, now!

Mrs. S. It does not signify talking-I must and will have it so.

Scout. But think, my dear, how ridiculous

Mrs. S. I don't care-I'm resolved-I'll no longer be the laughing-stock of the whole country; do you imagine I'll(Enter Mr. Scout-Mrs. Scout following.)

Scout. Nay! but my dear, sweet love, that indefatigable tongue of yours would out-talk any lawyer in the kingdom; I can talk, sometimes, pretty well, myself, but I stand no chance with you. Why, you would out-din the whole bar itself, that though a lawyer

Mrs. S. (Sneering.) A lawyer! No one, to see you in this trim, would imagine you had ever carried on any body's suit but your own. Had you a grain of spirit left, you might— Scout. Spirit! Nay, nay, wife, don't complain of my want Have not I convinced you I had too much spirit on a certain occasion?

of spirit.

Mrs. S. Very fine, indeed.-And so you make a merit of your blunders.

Scout. Blunders, indeed! I think I made a blunder in coming here. Not a single job have I got since I have been down: not a broken head, nor a quarrel for one to get a penny by: and hang me, if I don't think the very cattle keep out of the pound, on purpose to spite me! Now, if one could put on the appearance of business, the reality will follow of course, and perhaps something may turn out

Mrs. S. Yes, and in the meantime, your poor wife may starve, and your daughter lose the opportunity of settling herself handsomely, with one of the young men that pay their addresses to her, which the shabbiness of your appearance frightens away.

Scout. Why, to be sure, I am shabby enough, of all conscience, and cannot, with any propriety, make my appearance in public.-Let me see-I have it; I'll go and purchase a suit of clothes directly.

Mrs. S. Purchase a suit of clothes, without a shilling in your pocket?

Scout. O, my dear, that's nothing at all: most fashionable suits are purchased that way. Let me see what color shall I choose? Shall it be a brown-a gray-a bat's wing-orMrs. S. Oh! never mind the color, so you can only find somebody silly enough to let you have the cloth.

Scout. O, I'll warrant you. Let me see, now-there's neighbor Snarl, that lives over the way; he keeps a large assortment of colors: I'll hum him out of a suit.

Mrs. S. Mr. Snarl!-Take care what you do there, hus

band; his son, Charles, is in love with our Harriet, and would have married her before now, but for fear of his father's anger. I would not for the world disappoint the girl's hopes.

Scout. Well! well! step in and bring my gown and band —it will, at least, make me have a better appearance, (exit Mrs. Scout,) by hiding these rags. Come, wife, make haste. Come, what a long time you are.

(Re-enter Mrs. Scout, with the gown and band.)

Mrs. S. Why, I brought it as soon as I could.

Scout. Come, help me on with it;-take care what you are about. See what a large hole here is. You sit all day with your hands before you; and I think you might have mended it. Mrs. S. I'll mend it when you come back.

Scout. There-there-now I shall do very well! And let me tell you, wife, I am not the only lawyer who wears a gown, to cover a shabby suit. (Exeunt.)

Scene 2.-Snarl's Shop-a counter, several pieces of cloth, flannel, baize, &c., four yards iron-gray broadcloth, tailor's pattern-book, shears, yard-measure, table, chair, side of counter, shop stool.

(Enter Snarl, and Charles following.)

Snarl. Charles, have you been looking out for another shepherd, as I told you?

Charles. No, sir, I think you have got a very good one.

Snarl. No such thing-I tell you that that Sheepface is a rogue; here he has lived with me only a fortnight, and here are missing fourteen of my best wethers.

Char. Consider, sir, what havoc such a disorder makes in a little time.

Snarl. Yes, yes, I have considered, and I know pretty well by this time. I have long suspected him, and last night I caught him in the very act, killing one of my fattest wethers; and I am determined to have him up before Justice Mittimus this day--but reach me my book, and let me look over the account of my stock,-perhaps there may be more missing.

Char. There it is, sir. (Gives an account book.)

Snarl. (Sits down.) And if neighbor Gripe calls, tell him I want to see him about this rascal Sheepface. Let me seetwelve times ten is

(Charles is going, and meets Sheepface.)

Char. Sheepface, my father has discovered all; do the best you can; beware of saying too much. (Exit.)

Sheepface. I understand--don't fear me.-Save you, good master Snarl.

Snarl. What! you rascal! are you here? How dare you appear before me, after the trick you have played me?

Sheep. Only to tell you, I've been with nighbor Gripe, the constable, who has been speaking to me about sheep-stealing, Justice Mittimus, your honor, and a power of things; so I said to myself, as how I would not make it a secret any longer with your worship.

Snarl. Why, fellow, this affected simplicity won't serve your purpose. Did not I catch you, last night, killing one of my fattest wethers?

Sheep. Only to keep it from dying, by my feckiņs!
Snarl. To keep it from dying!

Sheep. Of the rot, an' please your sweet worship.-It's a way I learnt of our doctor, in the parish: he cures most of his patients the same way.

Snarl. The doctor, ha! The doctors have a license to kill from the college; but you have none, I believe.

Why, there was not such a breed in all the country, for Spanish wool! Sheep. Please your worship, satisfy yourself with the blows. you gave me, and make matters up, if it be your worship's good will and pleasure.

Snarl. But 'tis not my good will and pleasure: my good will and pleasure is to see you hanged, you rascal.

Sheep. Oh! no; don't hang me! Consider, that would be the death of me! Besides, your worship, I was only married yesterday :-leave me alone for a week or two, and who knows, but, by that time, I may save your worship the trouble.

Snarl. No, no, the gallows will be the best way at first, and every bit as sure.

Sheep. Heaven give you the luck of it then, good master Snarl. Since it must be so, I must go seek a lawyer, I find, or might will prevail over right. (Exit Sheepface.)

Snarl. Six times twelve is seventy-two, that is right; then nine times seven is

(Enter Scout.)

Scout. Egad, I have lucky, to catch him alone. cloth, and will just suit me. Mr. Snarl.

nicked it nicely!-This was very
That seems to be a pretty piece of
(Aside.) Good morning to you,

Snarl. O! what! neighbor Gripe! walk in.
Scout. No, it's I, your neighbor Scout.

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