Page images
PDF
EPUB

brated Mrs.

Her ladyship cast a scornful glance at it, but made no reply.—" Here the beau has said soft things to his mistress, and the wit smart things to divert the assembly." It was knocked down, however, to a broker, who paid no regard to the orator's fine speech, but to the old maxim,

"What's the worth of any thing,

But so much money as 'twill bring?"

An handsome swing looking-glass was then produced, which the auctioneer recommended as an uncommonly fine plate of glass, and begged the ladies to examine it: they all immediately snatched the opportunity of surveying their pretty faces, and pronounced it a most beautiful piece of furniture, as they were delighted with what they saw there.

There next came a large oval dining-table, which,. the orator said, was one of the finest pieces of mahogany which ever crossed the Atlantic ocean! it was the property of the late well known Mr.

who kept the most hospitable table of any man of his rank in the three kingdoms. "Yes," says a crabbed old gentleman, with a loud whisper," and now his family are forced to sell his hospitable tableand the chairs that daily surrrounded it, and are reduced to the lowest degree of indigence and distress."

But now came the principal object of Lady Bustleton's attention-an elegant mahogany chest of drawers; an useful piece of furniture, which her ladyship wanted. "Half a guinea," cries one of

66

her ladyship's humble companions; a guinea and a half," cries a spirited bidder; "five shillings more," says the young lady: in short, it went on to three guineas and a half, and the auctioneer elevated his hammer-"Agoing! agoing, at three guineas and an half!"—"Four guineas," cries her ladyship, herself in great trepidation; when down it was knocked.

[ocr errors]

Well," says one of her companions, “it is a predigious bargain!" "Yes, indeed!" says another of her ladyship's friends, "I had no ideur it would have gone under five guineas."

A plain looking man, who sat behind me, (and who I found was a cabinet-maker) whispered to one who sat next to him, "It was new out of my shop for three guineas."

Her ladyship, however, and her humble suite, retired, exulting in their good fortune, in having met with so advantageous a purchase: and this, I believe, is the case with the majority of those who attend auctions: ignorant of the usual price of what they buy, they bid at random; while a few intelligent brokers, get a good livelihood, from the folly of those self-conceited economists, or buyers of bargains.

Yet, I was equally surprised at a gentleman with whom I have some years had a coffee-house acquaintance, and who I knew lived altogether in lodgings; and yet I saw him purchase several articles, which in such a situation he could not possibly

want.

And first, my friend was announced as the purchaser of a pair of bellows; at which I was a little

surprised: but more so, when a warming-pan was knocked down to him! and I could not forbear asking him, whether they had no warning-pan at his lodgings? "Yes," says he, "but as we have other lodgers, and I never go into a cold bed, winter or summer, I am forced to wait half an hour before I can go to rest." But I was still more astonished to hear him bid for a very handsome bird-cage, with gilt wires, and asked him, if he was fond of singing birds? "Yes," he replied, " in the fields, or woods, thongh I am too great a friend to liberty to confine any animal against it's will: as this cage, however, is a great bargain, I should be glad to oblige a young lady of my acquaintance who keeps canary birds."

I found, however, that this gentleman was a little inflicted with the disease of emacity, or itch for buying bargains above-mentioned.

There were no pictures at the auction which I have described, except two or three family portraits, in red or blue coats, and flaxen perukes, and their cravats tucked in their button-holes. Here was one small head, however, about a foot dimension, with a star and ermined sash, which I believe was the Duke of Gloucester, the much lamented son of Queen Anne, and prince George of Denmark-for these, two young fellows bade, by way of fun; but it was knocked down to one of them at three shillings and sixpence, which he reluctantly paid: and he and his companion retired with their purchase to the first public library, where, after mutually desiring each other to take it with them, they at last agreed to slip

away, while the master of the shop was busy at his accounts, and left it on his hands like a foundling. Thus, instead of pocketing a book clandestinely, of which the Bath booksellers sometimes complain, they smuggled into his hands a fine shewy portrait, which may hereafter adorn either the servants' hall, or perhaps the little parlour that opens into the shop of some grand-child, according to the rank of life which fortune may allot them..

I shall close these trifling reflections, with only observing, that I am convinced, by long experience, "That it is better, and cheaper (all circumstances considered) to go directly to some creditable tradesman who is contented with moderate gains (I do not mean those who sell under prime cost,) and buy what we really want, than to spend our time and money at an auction; where we are often tempted irresistibly to buy superfluous articles of furniture, often beyond their original price, and often damaged or patched up goods. If we consider it as an agreeable lounge, we should go armed with resolution, not to bid for a single article, instead of buying every thing that strikes our fancy. Let us attend to the remark contained in my motto:

"Omnia, castor, emis, sic fiet ut omnia vendas."

While thus you buy whate'er you see,

And think you do full well,

The consequence will surely be,

You every thing must sell.

EULOGY ON THE DOMESTIC QUALITIES OF GARRICK; WITH AN ACCOUNT OF THE FAMILY OF MR. CUMBERLAND, THE DRAMATIST.

THE happy hit of the West Indian drew a considerable resort of the friends and followers of the Muses to my house. I was superlatively blest in a wife, who conducted my family with due attention to my circumstances, yet with every elegance and comfort, that would render it a welcome and agreeable rendezvous) to my guests. I had six children, whose birth-days were comprised within the period of six years, and they were by no means trained and edu cated with that laxity of discipline which renders so many houses terrible to the visitor, and almost justifies Foote in his professed veneration for the character of Herod. My young ones stood like little soldiers to be reviewed by those who wished to have them drawn up for inspection, and were dismissed, like soldiers, at a word. Few parents had more excuse for being vain than my wife and I had, for I may be allowed to say, my daughters even then gave promise of that grace and beauty, for which they afterward became so generally noticed; and my four boys were not behind them in form or feature, though hot climates and hard duty by sea and land, in the service of their king and country, have laid two of them in distant graves, and rendered the survivors war-worn veterans before their time: even poor Fitzherbert, my unhappy and lamented friend, with all his fond benignity of soul, could not with his caresses introduce a relaxation of discipline in the ranks of

« PreviousContinue »