ashamed and confounded when I think upon my ways; my sins for number are as the sands of the seashore. I have neglected private prayer and meditation; I have not glorified God with my tongue, but spoken vanity; my heart has gone out too much after worldly things. Vain thoughts have lodged within me. I have not fled out of the way of temptation, but rather courted it. I have sat too often, and too long, with unprofitable company, and have not sought retirement. I have gone on in this course, though I saw the consequence must be a loss to my soul, I have suffered every body and every trifle to intrude upon me, and rob me of the fellowship of the Father and of the Son, &c. O merciful Father, turn thou me and I shall be turned! Seek thy servant; stretch forth thine hand and save me! Pluck my feet out of the net which mine enemies have privily laid for me! Lord Jesus, I look unto thee to save me! O make haste to help me! Strengthen the things that remain and are ready to die! Hear me speedily, O my God, lest my enemies triumph over me! O let not thy blessed name be reproached for my sake!

Sunday, February 16.—Last night I felt a longing desire for the presence of the Lord to my soul this day. At going to bed, I prayed for it with some degree of fervency. I besought the Lord to make my room a little sanctuary. Throughout the night my soul followed hard after him, for conformity to his will, and the image of Jesus. My sleep was sweet unto me. This morning I have been enabled to pour out my heart before him, with groanings that cannot be uttered. He has given me a feeling sense of my sins and backslidings, and also a view of his mercies to me ever since I was born, and of the

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wonderful dispensations of his providence in all the incidents and afflictions of my life past. I saw his absolute sovereignty, and my own nothingness, and desired to be lost and swallowed up in the ocean of his fulness. I have this day once more committed my soul and all my spiritual interests to Jesus, casting my care upon him, leaving all that the world calls mine to his sovereign disposal, to be employed in whatever way may tend to his glory. This I have done with some degree of faith, and without any known reserve; and being sensible of my very great ignorance and blindness, I have besought him to be my prophet to teach me. I see in all things my need of such a Saviour, and desire to prove his utmost salvation. I have endeavoured to plead his promises, and besought him to seal me with the Holy Spirit, which is the earnest of our inheritance. I now look for the answer of these prayers, and desire to wait upon the Lord in the use of the means for the accomplishment of his word, on which he hath caused me to hope.

Lord, hear now the petitions of thy servant; my desire is not hid from thee. Thou knowest that I seek thy favour, through the merits and intercession of Jesus. I esteem it better than life!

Sunday, March 1.-O what a bitter week has the last been! Guilt upon the conscience, deadness of heart, no access to God in prayer, although I have endeavoured to cry for pardon. Blessed be God for causing me to feel what a dreadful thing it is to sin against light. O that I may be stirred up to more watchfulness in future. May his mercies lead me to repentance. This morning I awaked with his word upon my heart, and got some liberty in praying to the Lord for the pardon of my sin, and for power to accompany the

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preaching of the word this day to heal my soul. went out to hear what the Lord would say unto me. Mr Plenderleath's text was Isaiah 1. 4.-" The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary; he wakeneth morning by morning; he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned." And surely the Lord gave him this day the tongue of the learned, to speak a word in season to my distressed soul. He set forth the power of Christ to save to the uttermost, and his willingness to save from all sin, &c. I was greatly comforted, and enabled this day to act faith upon Christ, as my all-sufficient Saviour. to God!

Glory be

Friday, March 6.-O bless the Lord, my soul, for all his benefits! I sought him, and he heard my cry, and has again permitted me to approach the footstool of his throne, and filled my mouth with arguments. He has given me a sweet morning in reading and praying over the word, with the joyful hope of my prayers being heard. I have spread all my sins and sorrows before him, all my wants and fears; and have been enabled to cast my care upon him, and to believe that he is able and willing to help me, and to carry on his work in my soul, in spite of all the opposition it meets with from men, devils, and my own vile heart. I have besought his mercy to this land and to his church; to all my friends, acquaintances, and family; and have felt his mighty power drawing my soul out in love to Jesus, and to a full and free surrender of myself to him in time, and to all eternity. The prayer of my heart is, "None but Christ." The world seems a dismal void without him-death, the king of terrors-eternity, an endless state of torment. But with him, the

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present cross is sweet-death will be a messenger of peace and who can say what joys await the blessed soul united to Jesus in the world to come? O, Holy Jesus, sanctify my nature by thy Spirit, purify my thoughts and affections, that I may have some foretaste of the bliss and holy joy, which is the portion of thy saints above!

Thursday, March 12.-I had some comfort this morning, in reading the cures our blessed Lord performed on many who came to him in the days of his flesh. They had different degrees of faith, yet all were made whole. I felt my faith weak, but saw it sufficient to lay hold on Jesus as able and willing to save to the uttermost. Being fast-day, I went to church. Dr Webster preached on the brazen serpent: he described the different degrees of faith from the same instances I had been considering in the morning, in a very lively manner, and confirmed my thoughts upon the subject. It was an excellent sermon, and accompanied with power to my soul. I have felt it good this day to enter the house of the Lord; the psalms, prayers, and sermons, were sweet to me, like the refreshing dew to the parched ground. What must it be to enter the celestial courts, where we shall see Jesus face to face, and to be transformed into his image! where sin and sorrow are excluded, and the pleasures we enjoy are without interruption, and without end! Here we see in part, and know in part; there we shall know as we are known, and see him as he is. O hasten the time, Lord; yea come, Lord Jesus! Come quickly!

Saturday, March 14.-Finding my soul very dead this morning, and examining what might be the cause, it occurred to me that I had neglected family worship

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in the absence of the chaplain. I found myself more unfit to perform it than ever: yet after crying to the Lord for help, I got courage to call in the maid-servants, and was enabled to go through the duty with some tolerable degree of composure. I have since got some access to the Lord in private prayer, and find somewhat of the former darkness removed. This is a lesson to me to obey the dictates of conscience. O that I may keep it in remembrance! This day the Lord has blessed to my soul the reading of a little book, by Doolittle, on the Sacrament. Light shone upon it, and gave me to see my sins in heart and life. In the afternoon I heard an excellent sermon on effectual calling. My heart witnessed to the call of God in my heart, and to my having been made willing to obey it in a day of his power. Glory be to God!

Sunday, March 15.-Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me be stirred up to praise and magnify his holy name! I sought the Lord, and he heard and answered my prayer. He has refreshed my dry parched fainting soul this day with the dew from heaven. What shall I render unto him for all his benefits? After a sore struggle this morning, with a weak and sick body and fearful mind, I called in my family to prayer. The Lord enlarged my heart in the duty. I was led to plead the promises contained in the new covenant, and to ask the fulfilment of them to our souls; and that we might obtain faith this day to lay hold on that covenant made with Jesus before the foundation of the world. At church Dr Webster took for his text," And to Jesus, the mediator of the new covenant." He repeated all I had been praying for, and showed that the Lord was willing to fulfil these promises to every believing soul. At the table Mr Plenderleath spoke to the same purpose, and exhorted