Mifs. Why, I think, he's a little upon the Silly, or fo; I believe he has not all the Wit in the World; but I don't pretend to be a Judge.

Nev. Faith, I believe he was bred at Hogfnorton, where the Pigs play upon the Organs.

Lord Sp. Why, Tom, I thought you and he had been Hand in Glove.

Nev. Faith, he fhall have a clean Threshold for me, I never darkned his Door in my Life, neither in Town, nor Country; but, he's a queer old Duke, by my Conscience; and yet, after all, I take him to be more Knave than Fool.

Lord Sm. Well, come, a Man's a Man, if he has but a Hofe on his Head.

Col. I was once with him, and fome other Company, over a Bottle; and I'gad, he fell asleep, and Inored fo loud, that we thought he was driving his Hogs to Market.

Nev. Why, what? You can have no more of a Cat, than her Skin. You can't make a Silk Purfe out of a Sow's Ear.

Lord Sp. Well, fince he's gone, the Devil go with him, and Sixpence ; and there's Money and Company too.

Nev. Pray, Mifs, let me ask you a Question?

Mifs. Well, but don't ask Questions with a dirty Face. I warrant, what you have to fay, will keep cold.

Col. Come, my Lord, against you are difpofed. Here's to all that love and honour you.

Lord Sp. Ay, that was always Dick Nimble's Health, I'm fure you know, he is dead.

Col. Dead! Well, my Lord, you love to be a Meffenger of ill News, I'm heartily forry; but, my Lord, we must all dye.

Nev. I knew him very well; but pray, how came he to dye?

Mifs. There's a Queftion! You talk like a Poticary. Why, he died, because he could live no longer. Nev. Well; reft his Soul; we muft live by the Living, and not by the Dead.

Lord Sp. You know his House was burnt down to the Ground.

Col. Yes, it was in the News. Why, Fire and Water are good Servants, but they are very bad Mafters.

Lord Sm. Here, take away, and fet down a Bottle of Burgundy. Ladies, you'll stay and drink a Glass of Wine before you go to your Tea.

[All's taken away, and the Wine fet down.]

[Mifs gives Neverout a smart Pinch.]

Nev. Lord, Mifs, what d'ye mean? D'ye think I have no feeling?

Mifs. I'm forced to pinch, for the Times are hard.

Nev. [Giving Mifs a Pinch.] Take that, Mifs: What's Sawce for a Goose, is Sawce for a Gander. Mifs. [Screaming.] Well, Mr. Neverout, if I live, that shall neither go to Heaven nor Hell with you.

Nev. [Takes Mifs's Hand.] Come, Mifs, let us day all Quarrels afide, and be Friends.

Mifs. Don't be mauming and gauming a Body fo. Can't you keep your filthy Hands to your

felf?

Nev. Pray, Mifs, where did you get that Picktook Café ?

Mifs. I came honestly by it.

Z 4

Nev.

Nev. I'm fure it was mine, for I loft just fuch a one. Nay, I don't tell you a Lye.

Mifs. No, if you Lye, 'tis much.
Nev. Well, I'm fure 'tis mine.

Mifs. What, you think every Thing is yours, but a little the King has.

Nev. Colonel, you have feen my fine Pick-tooth Cafe: Don't you think this is the very fame? Col. Indeed, Mifs, it is very like it. Mifs. Ay, what he fays, you'll fwear. Nev. Well; but I'll prove it to be mine. Mifs. Ay, do if you can.

Nev. Why; what's yours is mine, and what's mine is my own.

Mifs. Well, run on 'till you're weary, no Body holds you.

[Neverout gapes.]

Col. What, Mr. Neverout, do you gape for Preferment?

Nev. Faith, I may gape long enough before it falls into my Mouth.

Lady Sm. Mr. Neverout, I hear you live high. Nev. Yes, Faith, Madam, live high, and lodge in a Garret.

Col. But, Mifs, I forgot to tell you, that Mr. Neverout got the devilifheft Fall in the Park Today.

Mifs. I hope he did not hurt the Ground. But, how was it Mr. Neverout? I wish I had been there to laugh.

Nev. Why, Madam, it was a Place where a Cuckold had been bury'd, and one of his Horns fticking out, I happened to ftumble against it. That was all.

Lady

Lady Sm. Ladies, let us leave the Gentlemen to themselves; I think it is Time to go to our Tea. Lady Anf. and Mifs. My Lords, and Gentlemen, your most humble Servant.

Lord Sm. Well, Ladies, we'll wait on you an Hour hence.

[The Gentlemen alone.]

Lord Sm. Come, John, bring us a fresh Bottle. Col. Ay, my Lord; and pray let him carry off the dead Men, (as we fay in the Army.) [Meaning the empty Bottles.]

Lord Sp. Mr. Neverout, pray is not that Bottle full?

Nev. Yes, my Lord, full of Emptiness.

Lord Sm. And, d'ye hear, John, bring clean Glaffes.

Col. I'll keep mine, for I think the Wine is the best Liquor to wash the Glaffes in.

Third CONVERSATIO N.

Lady Sm.

[The Ladies at their Tea.]

W

ELL, Ladies, now let us have a Cup of Discourse to our felves.

Lady Anf. What do you think of your Friend Sir John Spendall?

Lady Sm. Why, Madam, 'tis happy for him that his Father was born before him.

Mifs. They fay he makes a very ill Husband to my Lady.

Lady Anf. Well, but he must be allowed to be the fondeft Father in the World.

Lady Sm. Ay, Madam, that's true; for they fay, the Devil is kind to his own.

Mifs. I am told, my Lady manages him to Admiration,

Lady Sm. That I believe, for fhe's as cunning as a dead Pig, but not half so honest.

Lady Anf. They fay, fhe's quite a Stranger to all his Gallantries.

Lady