[She ftrives again, and miles.]

Nev. Snap fhort, makes you look fo lean, Mifs. Mifs. Poh, you are fo robuftious, you had like to put out my Eye: I affure if blind me, you must lead me.

you, you

Lady Sm. Dear Mifs, be quiet, and bring me a Pin-Cushion out of that Closet.

[Mifs opens the Door and fquals.]'

Lady Sm. LORD bless the Girl! What's the Matter now?

Mifs. I vow, Madam, I saw something in black, I thought it was a Spirit.

Col. Why, Mifs, did you ever fee a Spirit? Mifs. No, Sir, I thank GOD, I never saw any Thing worse than my felf.

Nev. Well, I did a very foolish Thing Yesterday, and was a great Puppy for my Pains.

Mifs. Very likely; for they fay, many a true Word is fpoken in Jeft.

[Footman returns.]

Lady Sm. Well, did you deliver your Meffage ? You are fit to be fent for Sorrow, you ftay fo long by the Way.

Footman. Madam, my Lady was not at home; fo, I did not leave the Meffage.

Lady Sm. This it is to fend a Fool of an Errand.

Lord Sparkish looking at his Watch.]

Lord Sp. 'Tis past twelve o'Clock.
Lady Sm. Well, what is that among us all?
Lord Sp. Madam, I muft take my Leave.
Lady Sm. Well, but your Lordship, and the

Colonel,

ny.

Colonel, will dine with us To-Day; and Mr. Neverout, I hope, we shall have your good CompaThere will be no Soul elfe, befides my own Lord, and these Ladies. For every Body knows, I hate a Crowd: I would rather want Vittels, than Elbow Room. We dine punctually at three.

Lord Sp. Madam, we'll be fure to attend your Ladyfhip.

Col. Madam, my Stomach ferves me instead of a Clock.

[Another Footman comes back.]

Lady Sm. O, you are the other Fellow I fent : Well, have you been with my Lady Club. You are good to fend of a dead Man's Errand.

Footman. Madam, my Lady Club begs your Ladyship's Pardon; but fhe is engaged To-Night. Mifs. Well, Mr. Neverout; here's the Back of my Hand to you.

Nev. Mifs, I find you will have the last Word. Ladies, I am more yours than my own.

Second

தி

Second CONVERSATION.

[Lord Smart, and the former Company at three a Clock, coming to dine.]

[After Salutations.]

'M forry I was not at home this Morning, when you all did us the Honour to call here. But I went to

the Levee To-Day.

Lord Sp. O, my Lord; I'm fure the Lofs was

ours.

Lady Sm. Gentlemen, and Ladies, you are come into a fad dirty Houfe, I am forry for it, but we have had our Hands in Mortar.

Lord Sp. O, Madam, your Ladyfhip is pleafed to fay fo, but I never faw any Thing fo clean and fo fine. I profefs it is a perfect Paradife.

Lady Sm. My Lord, your Lordship is always very obliging.

Lord Sp. Pray, Madam, whofe Picture is that? Lady Sm. Why, my Lord, it was drawn for me.

Lord

Lord Sp. I'll fwear, the Painter did not flatter your Ladyship.

Col. My Lord, the Day is finely cleared up.

Lord Sm. Ay, Colonel, 'tis a Pity that fair Weather should ever do any harm. [to Neverout.] Why, Tom, you are high in the Mode.

Nev. My Lord, it is better to be out of the World, than out of the Fashion.

Lord Sm. But, Tom, I hear, you and Miss, are always quarrelling: I fear, it is your Fault, for I can affure you, the is very good humoured.

Nev. Ay, my Lord, fo is the Devil when he's pleas'd.

Lord Sm. Mifs, what do you think of my Friend Tom?

Mifs. My Lord, I think he is not the wifeft Man in the World; and truly, he's fometimes very rude.

Lord Sp. That may be true, but yet, he that hangs Tom for a Fool, may find a Knave in the Halter.

Mifs. Well, however, I wish he were hang'd if it were only to try.

Nev. Well, Mifs, if I must be hanged, I won't go far to chufe my Gallows: It fhall be about your fair Neck.

Mifs. I'll fee your Nose cheese first, and the Dogs eating it. But, my Lord, Mr. Neverout's Wit begins to run low, for I vow he faid this before. Pray, Colonel, give him a Pinch, and I'll do as much for you.

Lord Sp. My Lady Smart, your Ladyship has a very fine Scarf.

Lady Sm. Yes, my Lord, it will make a flaming Figure in a Country Church.

[Footman

[Footman comes in.]

Footman. Madam, Dinner's upon the Table. Col. Faith, I'm glad of it; my Belly began to cry Cupboard.

Nev. I wish I may never hear worse News.

Mifs. What, Mr. Neverout, you are in great hafte; I believe your Belly thinks your Throat's

cut.

Nev. No, faith Mifs, three Meals a Day, and a good Supper at Night will ferve my Turn. Mifs. To fay the Truth, I'm hungry.

Nev. And I'm angry, fo let us both go fight.

[They go in to Dinner, and after the ufual Compliments, take their Seats.]

Lord Sm. Ladies and Gentlemen, will you eat any Oysters before Dinner.

Col. With all my Heart. [Takes an Oyster] He was a bold Man that first eat an Oyster.

;

Lady Sm. They say, Oysters are a cruel Meat because we eat them alive: Then, they are an uncharitable Meat; for we leave nothing to the Poor. And, they are an ungodly Meat, because we never fay Grace to them.

Nev. Faith, that's as well faid, as if I had faid it my felf.

Lady Sm. Well, we are all well fet, if we be but as well ferv'd. Come, Colonel, handle your Arms! Shall I help you to fome Beef?

Col. If your Ladyship pleases; and pray don't cut like a Mother-in-law, but fend me a large Slice; for I love to lay a good Foundation: I vow 'tis a noble Sirloyn.