Sil. Belike, that now she hath enfranchis'd them Upon some other pawn for fealty. Val. Nay, sure, I think she holds them prisoners still. Sil. Nay, then he should be blind; and being How could he see his way to seek out you? [blind, Val. Why, lady, love hath twenty pair of eyes. Thu. They say, that love hath not an eye at all. Val. To see such lovers, Thurio, as yourself; Upon a homely object love can wink. Enter PROTEUS. Sil. Have done, have done; here comes the gentleman. Val. Welcome, dear Proteus!-Mistress, I beseech you, Confirm his welcome with some special favour. Sil. Too low a mistress for so high a servant. Fal. Leave off discourse of disability :— Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant. Pre. My duty will I boast of, nothing else. Sil. And duty never yet did want his meed; Servant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress. Pro. I'll die on him that says so, but yourself. Sil. That you are welcome? Pro. No; that you are worthless. Enter Servant. Ser. Madam, my lord your father would speak with Vel. How does your lady? and how thrives your love? Pre. My tales of love were wont to weary you; I know, you joy not in a love-discourse. Fal. Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter'd now: I have done penance for contemning love; Whose high imperious thoughts have punish'd me With bitter fasts, with penitential groans, With nightly tears, and daily heart-sore sighs; For, in revenge of my contempt of love, Love hath chas'd sleep from my enthralled eyes, And made them watchers of mine own heart's sorrow. O, gentle Proteus, love's a mighty lord; And hath so humbled me, as, I confess, There is no woe to his correction, Nor, to his service, no such joy on earth! Pro. Enough; I read your fortune in your eye: Was this the idol that you worship so? Fal. Even she; and is she not a heavenly saint? Val. Call her divine. Pro. I will not flatter her. Val. O, flatter me; for love delights in praises. Pro. When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills; And I must minister the like to you. Val. Then speak the truth by her; if not divine, Yet let her be a principality, Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth. Pro. Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this? Val. Pardon me, Proteus: all I can, is nothing To her, whose worth makes other worthies nothing; She is alone. Pro. Then let her alone. Val. Not for the world: why, man, she is mine own; And I as rich in having such a jewel, As twenty seas, if all their sand were pearl, The water nectar, and the rocks pure gold. Forgive me, that I do not dream on thee, Because thou seest me dote upon my love. My foolish rival, that her father likes, Only for his possessions are so huge, Is gone with her along; and I must after, For love, thou know'st, is full of jealousy. Pro. But she loves you? Val. Ay, we are betroth'd: Pro. Go on before; I shall inquire you forth : Val. Will you make haste? Pro. I will. [Erit VAL. Even as one heat another heat expels, [Exit. SCENE V.-The same. A Street. Enter SPEED and LAUNCE. Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan. Laun. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always-that a man is never undone, till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place, till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say, welcome. Speed. Come on, you mad-cap, I'll to the ale-house with you presently; where, for one shot of five-pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with madam Julia? O sweet-suggesting love, if thou hast sinn'd, Laun. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they If I lose them, thus find I by their loss, parted very fairly in jest. Speed. But shall she marry him? Speed. What thou say'st? For Valentine, myself: for Julia, Silvia. I will forget that Julia is alive, Laun. Ay, and what I do, too: look thee, I'll but Who, all enrag'd, will banish Valentine, lean, and my staff understands me. Speed. It stands under thee, indeed. Laun. Why, stand under and understand is all one. Speed. But tell me true, will't be a match? Laun. Ask my dog: if he say, ay, it will; if he say, no, it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will. Speed. The conclusion is then, that it will. Laun. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but by a parable. Speed. 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say'st thou, that my master is become a notable lover? Laun. I never knew him otherwise. Laun. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. For Thurio, he intends, shall wed his daughter : [Exit. Jul. Counsel, Lucetta! gentle girl, assist me! Luc. Alas! the way is wearisome and long. Luc. Better forbear, till Proteus make return. Lest it should burn above the bounds of reason. Jul. The more thou dam'st it up, the more it burns; He makes sweet music with the enamel'd stones, Then let me go, and hinder not my course: Lec. But in what habit will you go along? Luc. Why then your ladyship must cut your hair. Of greater time than I shall shew to be. [breeches? Luc. What fashion, madam, shall I make your Jul. That fits as well, as-" tell me, good my lord, What compass will you wear your farthingale?" Why, even that fashion thou best lik'st, Lucetta. Luc. You must needs have them with a cod-piece, madam. Jul. Out, out, Lucetta! that will be ill-favour'd. Luc. A round hose, madam, now's not worth a pin, Unless you have a cod-piece to stick pins on. Jul. Lucetta, as thou lov'st me, let me have What thou think'st meet, and is most mannerly: But tell me, wench, how will the world repute me, For undertaking so unstaid a journey? I fear me, it will make me scandaliz'd. Lue. If you think so, then stay at home, and go not. Jul. Nay, that I will not. Lue. Then never dream of infamy, but go. Jul. That is the least, Lucetta, of my fear: Luc. All these are servants to deceitful men. [wrong, Jul. Now, as thou lov'st me, do him not that To bear a hard opinion of his truth: Only deserve my love, by loving him; And presently go with me to my chamber, To take a note of what I stand in need of, To furnish me upon my longing journey. Al that is mine I leave at thy dispose, My goods, my lands, my reputation; Only, in lieu thereof, dispatch me hence: Come, answer not, but to it presently; I am impatient of my tarriance. SCENE L ACT III. [Exeunt. Milan-An Ante-room in the Enter DUKE, THURIO, and PROteus. [Exit THURIO. Now, tell me, Proteus, what's your will with me? Pro. My gracious lord, that which I would discover, The law of friendship bids me to conceal : But, when I call to mind your gracious favours Done to me, undeserving as I am, My duty pricks me on to utter that Which else no worldly good should draw from me. I know, you have determin'd to bestow her Duke. Proteus, I thank thee for thine honest care; Pro. Know, noble lord, they have devis'd a mean How he her chamber window will ascend, And with a corded ladder fetch her down; For which the youthful lover now is gone, And this way comes he with it presently; Where, if it please you, you may intercept him. But, good my lord, do it so cunningly, That my discovery be not aimed at ; For love of you, not hate unto my friend, Hath made me publisher of this pretence. Duke. Upon mine honour, she shall never know That I had any light from thee of this. Pro. Adieu, my lord; sir Valentine is coming. [Exit. Enter VALENTINE. Duke. Sir Valentine, whither away so fast? Duke. Be they of much import? Val. The tenor of them doth but signify My health, and happy being at your court. Duke. Nay, then no matter; stay with me a while; I am to break with thee of some affairs, That touch me near, wherein thou must be secret. 'Tis not unknown to thee, that I have sought To match my friend, sir Thurio, to my daughter. Val. I know it well, my lord; and, sure, the match Were rich and honourable; besides, the gentleman Is full of virtue, bounty, worth, and qualities Beseeming such a wife as your fair daughter: Cannot your grace win her to fancy him? Duke. No, trust me; she is peevish, sullen, forward, Proud, disobedient, stubborn, lacking duty; Neither regarding that she is my child, Nor fearing me as if I were her father: And, may I say to thee, this pride of hers, Upon advice, hath drawn my love from her; And, where I thought the remnant of mine age [her: Val. Win her with gifts, if she respect not words; Val. Why then I would resort to her by night. While I, their king, that thither them importune, Silvia, this night I will enfranchise thee: Be gone, I will not hear thy vain excuse, Val. Why then, a ladder, quaintly made of cords, But, fly I hence, I fly away from life. To cast up with a pair of anchoring hooks, Duke. Now, as thou art a gentleman of blood, [that. Val. When would you use it? pray, sir, tell me Val. It will be light, my lord, that you may bear it Duke. A cloak as long as thine will serve the turn. Duke. Then let me see thy cloak : Val. Why, any cloak will serve the turn, my lord. [Reads. ; Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me !What is your news? [vanish'd. Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are Pro. That thou art banish'd, O, that's the news; From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy friend. Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit." Doth Silvia know that I am banish'd? Pra. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, With many bitter threats of 'biding there. [speak'st, Pro. Cease to lament for that thou can'st not help, Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, Bid him make haste, and meet me at the north gate. Pre. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine. Val. O my dear Silvia, hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but what woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a waterspaniel,-which is much in a bare christian. Here is the cat-log [Pulling out a paper.] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter SPEED. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper? Lawn. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Speed. Why, man, how black? Laun. Why as black as ink. Speed. Let me read them. Laun. Fye on thee; jolt-head; thou canst not read. Speed. Thou liest, I can. Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O, illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy papers. Laun. There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed! Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And thereof comes the proverb,-Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, can she so? Speed. Item, She can knit. Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock. Speed. She can wash and scour. Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast. Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. [her talk. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with 't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. [crusts. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be ; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next. |