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Cres. So do all men; unless they are drunk, sick, or have no legs. Alex. This man, lady, hath robbed many
beasts of their particular additions 5; he is as valiant as the lion, churlish as the bear, slow as the elephant, a man into whom nature hath so crouded humours that his valour is crushed 6 into folly, his folly sauced with discretion: there is no man hath a virtue that he hath not a glimpse of; nor any man an attaint, but he carries some stain of it: he is melancholy without cause, and merry against the hair7: He hath the joints of every thing; but every thing so out of joint, that he is a gouty Briareus, many hands and no use; or purblind Argus, all eyes and no sight.
Cres. But how should this man, that makes me smile, make Hector angry?
Alex. They say, he yesterday coped Hector in the battle, and struck him down; the disdain and shame whereof hath ever since kept Hector fasting and waking.
5 Their titles, marks of distinction or denominations. The term in this sense is originally forensic.
Whereby he doth receive
Macbeth. 6 i. e, confused and mingled with folly. So in Cymbeline:arum
• Crush him together, rather than unfold
His measure duly.' 7 Equivalent to a phrase still in use,
-Against the grain. The French say, à contre poil.
Cres. Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.
cousin Cressid: What do you talk, of ?--Good morrow, Alexander.-How do you, cousin? When were you at Ilium?
Cres. This morning, uncle.
Cres. Hector was gone; but Helen was not up:
here. Pan. True, he was so; I know the cause too: he'll lay about him to-day, I can tell them that; and there is Troilus will not come far behind him; let them take heed of Troilus; I can tell them that too.
Cres. What, is he angry too?
Pan. Who, Troilus ? Troilus is the better man of the two.
Cres. 0, Jupiter! there's no comparison.
Pan. What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do
you know a man if you see him? Cres. Ay; if ever I saw him before, and knew him. Pan. Well, I say, Troilus is Troilus.
Cres. Then you say as I say; for, I am sure, he is not Hector.
Pan. No, nor Hector is not Troilus, in some degrees.
Creş. 'Tis just to each of them; he is himself.
Pan. Himself? Alas, poor Troilus! I would, he were,
Creș. So he is.
Pan. Condition, I had gone barefoot to India.
Cres. He is not Hector.
Pan. Himself? no, he's not himself—'Would ’a were himself! Well, the gods are above; Time must friend, or end: Well, Troilus, well, I would, my heart were in her body!—No, Hector is not a better man than Troilus.
Cres. Excuse me.
Pan. The other's not come to't; you shall tell me another tale when the other's come to't. Hector shall not have his wit this year.
Cres. He shall not need it, if he have his own.
Pan. You have no judgment, niece: Helen herself swore the other day, that Troilus, for a brown favour (for so 'tis, I must confess),-Not brown neither.
Cres. No, but brown.
Cres. Then, Troilus should have too much: if she praised him above, his complexion is higher than his; he having colour enough, and the other higher, is too flaming a praise for a good complexion. I had as lief, Helen's golden tongue had commended Troilus for a copper nose.
Pan. I swear to you, I think, Helen loves him better than Paris. Cres. Then she's a merry Greek 8, indeed.
8 See vol. i. p. 370, note 1.
Pan. Nay, I am sure she does. She 'came to him the other day into a compassed window,-and, you know, he has not past three or four hairs on his chin.
Cres. Indeed, a tapster's arithmetick may soon bring his particulars therein to a total.
Pan. Why, he is very young: and yet will he, within three pound, lift as much as his brother Hector.
Cres. Is he so young a man, and so old a lifter 10!
Pan. But, to prove to you that Helen loves him ;-she came, and puts me her white hand to his cloven chin,
Cres. Juno have mercy!-How came it cloven ?
Pan. Why, you know, 'tis dimpled : I think, his smiling becomes him better than any man in all Phrygia.
Cres. O, he smiles valiantly.
Pan. Why, go to then :-But to prove to you that Helen loves Troilus,
Cres. Troilus will stand to the proof, if you'll prove it so.
Pan. Troilus? why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an addle egg.
Cres. If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head, you would eat chickens i’ the shell.
Pan. I cannot choose but laugh to think how 9 A compassed window is a circular bow window. The same epithet is applied to the cape of a woman's gown in The Taming of the Shrew :-'A small compassed cape.' A coved ceiling is yet in some places called a compassed ceiling.
10 Lifter, a term for a thief; from the Gothic hliftus. Thus in Holland's Leaguer, 1638:- Broker or pander, cheater or lifter.' Dryden ases the verb to lift for to rob. Shop-lifter is still used for one who robs a shop.
she tickled his chin;-Indeed, she has a marvellous white hand, I must needs confess.
Cres. Without the rack.
Pan. And she takes upon her to spy a white hair his chin.
Cres. Alas, poor chin! many a wart is richer.
Pan. But there was such laughing; -Queen Hecuba laughed, that her eyes ran o'er.
Cres. With mill-stones 11.
Cres. But there was a more temperate fire under the pot of her eyes ;-Did her eyes run o'er too?
Pan. And Hector laughed.
Pan. Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus' chin.
Cres. An't had been a green hair, I should have laughed too.
Pan. They laughed not so much at the hair, as at his pretty answer.
Cres. What was his answer?
Pan. Quoth she, Here's but one and fifty hairs on your chin, and one of them is white.
Cres. This is her question.
Pan. That's true; make no question of that. One and fifty hairs, quoth he, and one white: That white hair is my father, and all the rest are his sons. · Jupiter! quoth she, which of these hairs is Paris my husband? The forked one, quoth he; pluck it out, and give it him. But, there was such laughing! and Helen so blushed, and Paris so chafed, and all the rest so laughed, that it passed 12.
n So in King Richard III.:
. Your eyes drop mill-stones, when fool's eyes drop tears.'
12 i. e. passed all expression. See vol. i. p.: 195, note 28. Cressida plays on the word as used by Pandarus, by employing it herself in its common acceptation.