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day, I went and inquired into the matter, and he was caufed to rife out of his bed; and both the mother and fon went to church that day.

On the 6th of June, there was a facrament at Culross, which I had no mind to go to, upon the account of a carnal reafon. On the Saturday night, God reached me a reproof by one of the fervant-women; which filled me with confufion, fet me to prayer, and to re-examine my reafons, which I found to be but confulting with flesh and blood. I went away therefore on the Lord's day, was deeply humbled, and had very much ado with unbelief, ftruggling to get my feet faftened. But at the table my foul, I thought, met with him in fuch meafure, that ofttimes I have remembered my God from Culrofs and Tulliallan, when he has hid his face from me. On the Thurfday before I had kept a fecret fast.

July 26. The Lord's day after the facrament at Tulliallan, where the Lord was very kind to my foul, a godly family that had been at the fame facrament, had forgot it was the Lord's day; fo that they told me afterward, they had fallen to their work, had I not come to their house, and afked them if they would go to the church.

On the 2d of Auguft, I was at a facrament, where I thought myself fure of great things, from the Lord's former kind dealing with me, I think: but before I went to the table, I was deferted, tempted, perplexed with doubts whether to partake or not; yet I thought it duty to go. forward. I endeavoured to take hold of the Lord; but ftaggered fore, came away with that it had been better I had not gone. But there I faw how little I could do without Chrift, thought the Lord would come back again, and I had a longing to be in heaven. Betwixt fermons I went to a place I will ever mind, and would have been content there to have ventured on eternity as I was; defertion, a body of fin, &c. being very heavy, and recommending heaven to me.

On the 30th of November, having prayed with confidence to the Lord for light and direction concerning my paffing trials before the prefbytery of Stirling, which they had been for fome time urging, as I have noticed above, I took up my Bible, and going to turn to my ordinary, there caft up to me Job xxii. 28. "Thou fhalt decree a thing, and it fhall be eftablished unto thee; and the light fhall fhine upon thy ways." This paffage was very refrethful,

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refreshful, coming fo furprisingly, while I was turning to another place.

The fpace of a year being near expired, without any motion of a new bargain, on January 25. 1697, I wrote to Kennet, fignifying, that I defired not to stay, being ufelefs, and in a fort noxious, in his family. This letter I fhewed to the lady before I fent it off, and fhe quarrelled nothing in it; we being both, I believe, weary. This done, finding my heart difpofed to fing, I fung in fecret Pfal. xxxvii. near the latter end; whereby I was much cleared, and prayed chearfully after. I was then, as it were, in fight of the fhore of that troublous fea.

A little after that, I found there was no hope of entering into Col. Erfkine's family; and on Feb. 17. just the day before the year's expiring, I was told that Coulter had no mind to keep a pedagogue for my pupil. And thus Providence fhuffled me out of business of that kind, being entangled there, when a door was opened elfewhere; which again was fhut when I was difentangled; thus working towards the leading me into bufinefs of another kind. So on Monday, Feb. 22. I took leave of my pupil, and that family. The day before, I thought it my duty to speak fome things to the fervants before I left them. I prayed to God for light; but was deferted, and could get nothing. I lay down on my bed in great heavinefs, and thought with myself, What folly is it for me to think of paffing trials to preach the gofpel, feeing I cannot buckle two fentences of good fenfe together in my own mind? In this perplexity I went out to the field, and prayed earnestly; came in again, had no time longer to think; but was helped of God to speak without confufion, and with great facility, to my own wonder. This was useful to me afterwards, and did drive the bottom out of a grand objection I had against paffing my trials, taken from my unreadiness in ordinary difcourfe.

The time I was at Kennet, continues to be unto me a remarkable time among the days of my life. Once I fainted there, being on my knees at evening fecret prayer; and coming to myself again, was eased by vomiting. Another time praying in the Ferrytown, in Thomas Brown's family, I found my heart beginning to fail; which obliged me quickly to break off, and go to the door, where I was eased the fame way as before. It was a time of much trouble to me, yet in the main a thriving time for my foul.

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My corruption fometimes prevailed over me; but it put me to the ufing of fecret fafting and prayer; whereunto I was alfo moved by the cafe of the poor, it being one of the years of dearth and scarcity that the Lord was then contending by year after year. And this I did not without fome fuccefs. Then it was that on fuch an occafion I drew up a catalogue of fins, which, with many unknown ones, I had to charge on myfelf; the which hath feveral times been of ufe to me fince: there I had fome Bethels, where I met with God, the remembrance whereof hath many times been useful and refreshful to me, particularly a place under a tree in Kennet orchard, where, Jan. 21. 1697, I vowed the vow, and anointed the pillar. That day was a public faft-day; and the night before, the family being called together, I laid before them the caufes of the faft, and thereto added the fins of the family, which I condefcended on particularly, defiring them to fearch their own hearts for other particulars, in order to our due humiliation. After fermons, going to the Garlet to vifit a fick woman, I was moved, as I paffed by the orchard, to go to prayer there; and being helped of the Lord, I did there folemnly covenant with God under a tree, with two great boughs coming from the root, a little north-weft from a kind of ditch in the eastern part of the orchard.

Though it was heavy to me that I was taken from the school of divinity, and fent to Kennet; yet I am convinced God fent me to another fchool there, in order to prepare me for the work of the gofpel, for which he had defigned me for there I learned in fome measure what it was to have the charge of fouls; and being naturally bashful, timorous, and much fubject to the fear of man, I attained, by what I met with there, to fome boldnefs, and not regarding the perfons of men when out of God's way. There I learned, that God will countenance one in the faithful discharge of his duty, though it be not attended with the defired fuccefs; and that plain dealing will imprefs an awe on the party's confcience, though their corruption still rages against him that fo deals with them. It was by means of converfation there that I arrived at a degree of a public fpirit which I had not before; and there I got a leffon of the need of prudent and cautious management, and abridging one's felf of one's liberty, that the weak be not ftumbled, and accefs to edify them be precluded;

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precluded; a leffon I have in my miniftry had a very particular and fingular occafion for.

On the Friday before I left Kennet, it was proposed to me by Meff: Turnbull and Buchanan, that I fhould now enter on trials; and withal, that the elders of Clackmanan being unwilling I thould go out of the country, it was defired, that I fhould take for myfelf, or allow to be taken for me, a chamber in the town of Clackmannan; and they defired me to give my anfwer on the Tuesday, and go along to the prefbytery on the Wednesday thereafter. Having taken thefe things under confideration, I was that fame night almoft refolved to comply with the call of that prefbytery for entering on trials before them. But just next morning I received a letter from Mr Murray, defiring me to come with all speed, and pafs trials before the prefbytery of Penpont; withal fhewing, that if I pleafed I might in the mean time keep the fchool of Penpont, it being then vacant. Thus Providence opened a door for my entering into another ftation, and doubled the call thereto. But then I was in doubt, racked betwixt these two, whether to addrefs myself to the prefbytery of Stirling or Penpont; which I endeavoured to table before the great Counsellor for his determination. In this fufpenfe, I went, on Wednefday, Feb. 24. to the prefbytery at Stirling, where I obtained their teftimonial, having promifed to return to them if my circumstances would permit. Having spent fome days more in that country, I came to Edinburgh by fea on the 4th of March, having got an edge put on my fpirit for paling my trials, by the difhonour I heard done to God on the thore of Leith, where we landed. The cafe is as follows. Sailing by the fhore, I heard fuch curfing, fwearing, &c. as made me to wonder at the patience of God towards finners, and to think I would be very willing to do any thing I could for fuppreffing thefe horrid fins or the like. This was ufeful to clear me in that point, which was now, and had been, my exercife for a good time.

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About this time twelvemonth there came a young gentlewoman to fee my pupil, with her face befpattered with patches; and drawing him to her to falute him, he endeavoured to pull off her patches. She put back his hand, that he could not reach her face: but he pulled a paper out of his pocket, giving an account how the devil

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murdered a gentlewoman for pride, and gave it her; which did much confound her.

While I was at Kennet it was a time of much trouble to me, but a time wherein the Lord was very kind to me. I was helped of God in fome measure to my duty, as has been observed, and it was that which enraged them against me. The lady was my great enemy; but profeffed great kindness to me when the spoke to me, or to the ministers of me. One of those profane fervants whom I could not induce her to put away, fhe was afterwards obliged to discharge with difgrace. I have often looked on the Lord's fending me thither, as done in defign to fit me for the work of the miniftry, to which it contributed many ways, as I have already noticed.

At Edinburgh I received my wages, being 100 merks; wrote a letter of excufe to Mr Murray, and another letter to the place whence I had come, bearing my defign to return thither fhortly. And indeed, when I came to Edinburgh, I was not fully refolved to go home at all; and having writ to my father, I fignified the fame to him, who being, unknown to me, in terms of a fecond marriage, gave me an' anfwer, advising me to return to Stirling, as I had faid. Howbeit I afterwards faw a neceffity of going home, to procure money for my maintenance, during the time of paffing my trials before the presbytery of Stirling, being unwilling to accept of the offer of the elders of Clackmannan aforefaid, and the money received not being fufficient for that and other neceffary uses. Accordingly, juft upon that defign, I went home to Dunfe, March 13.; but he who "leads the blind by a "way they knew not," led me thither on two material designs hidden to me; namely, the diverting of the marriage, which was unknown to me, and the paffing of my trials there, which I was far from having in view.

The week after I went home, being ftill bent to return to the prefbytery of Stirling, and there being no fmall hope of getting the money for which I had come, I received another letter from Mr Murray, wherein, having anfwered all my excufes, he ftill infifted on my coming to Penpont to pafs trials. Thus I was again put upon the rack between the two; and not knowing whither to go, I earnestly defired counfel of God, both as to the main thing, and the circumftance of place: and fhewing my ituation to Mr Alexander Colden, then minifter at

Dunfe,

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