without my own family. But I blefs God, I faw that, which was the happy occafion of bringing in that part of family-devotion into my family afterward at times. Some time after this a bluftering ftudent informed me, that Mr Mair taught, that all members of the visible church have a general right to Chrift, and the benefits of the covenant; and that baptifm feals abfolutely, that is, as I afterwards understood, that baptifm feals that right to them all. Both these things were, at that time, as ftrange to me as they were to my informer. But now I believe, that finners of mankind indefinitely, within or without the visible church, have a real right to Chrift, and the benefits of the covenant, fo as they may warrantably take poffeffion thereof by faith; the which right is contained in the holy fcriptures as the original charter, and is legally intimated to all that hear the gofpel; all which I have elfewhere more fully declared. But as to what concerns baptifm, having converfed Mr Mair on the head, I could not be of his opinion, which I remember he built on that right, at that time not appearing to me neither. And though afterwards, in procefs of time, the faid right did convincingly appear to me; yet I could never be fatisfied as to baptifm's fealing of it, fo as that ordinance might therefore be lawfully adminiftered to all who with us are called members of the vifible church; forafmuch as I look on that facrament as a feal of the benefits of the covenant in poffeflion, and which the party has a special faving interest in. However, I reckon that worthy man one of the happy inftruments of the breaking forth of a more clear difcovery of the doctrine of the gofpel, in this church, in these latter days thereof. Returning on the Saturday to Ferrytown, my spirit through grace being in good condition, I preached at Clackmannan on the Lord's day. At Ferrytown I was called to vifit a fick man, whom I knew to have been a very profligate perfon, but found ftored with a great deal of ill-grounded confidence. I applied myfelf to bring him to a fenfe of his fin and danger; but faw no fuccefs thereof. That week I returned from that country to my charge. From thence, on the Tuesday after, being Nov. 22. I went to Langton, and on the morrow to Dunfe; found worldly bufinefs very uneafy to me, and enfnaring to my mind; and fo it hath been with me all along, having nci ther heart nor hand for it. On the Thurfday I went to Lennet, and married a couple of perfons; in which action, relying on the Lord, I found I was helped accor dingly. Thereafter, meeting with Abbay above mentioned, his foolish talking afforded me heavy reflections, on the unedifying converfe of minifters, and my own among others, as one great caufe of the unfuccefsfulness of the gofpel. From thence I came to Kerfefield, where on the morrow I found a diffatisfaction with myself, for that I was not more strong in the Lord, but eafily brought, on the leaft temptation, to diftruft God. I continued there till the Sabbath morning that I came to Simprin, where the Lord was with me in my work. On the 25th I had gone to prayer, in which I found palpably, on my heart the blowings of the Spirit, loofing my bands, and enlarging my heart with ardent defires after Chrift; and thefe two days my mind has been habitually difpofed to fpiritual difcourfe, not finding other difcourfe pleafing to me. But on the morrow, being the Lord's day, I found matters were not right, which was occafioned by my unwatchfulnefs, having ventured too far on ground flippery to me, wherein though I kept my feet a while, yet I flipt at length. My heart not being lively before, became more dead, with unfeafonable thoughts, or rather fancies. The confideration of which did empty me of myfelf, and made me fee it would not be poor I that would work the Lord's work. Yet it pleafed the Lord to help me well all this day, from the lecture forwards; for I lectured with a good frame, having light, life, fenfe, and heart-fatiffaction; and had more than ordinary help in the prayer after it. In both fermons I was helped to be ferious for the good of the people's fouls, fomewhat pithy, peremptory, and particular, in the ftrength of the Lord. Betwixt fermons, walking a little at the end of the kirk, reflecting on the unfuccefsfulness of the gofpel, and withal on the prayer after the lecture, I thought all that was left us now was fome greedy looks and defires after a hidden Chrift. After fermons I went to God, and poured out my foul before him for a bleffing on what he had helped to deliver; was owned of him in all the parts of the evening-exercife, and got a more fatisfying account of the fermons than fometimes before. On the Thurfday after was a national thankfgiving to be obferved. But being now on the point of taking up houfe, houfe, I went on the Monday to Dunfe, where I continued till Wednesday, finding the great difadvantage of an unfettled abode, and more difadvantage of being employed in worldly bufinefs. That night I returned to Simprin, where, with no great difficulty, I ftudied my fermons before I flept, having on the day before, in which I had no opportunity of ftudying, fought light and furniture from the Lord for his work, and been determined to à text. I was helped through the day. After the public work was over, I had great fear of evil days; and I am almoft perfuaded that I will fee evil days, if God spare me any confiderable time; and how to carry rightly through them, is my exercise. But that word, Pfal. xxxvi. 9. "With thee is the fountain of life in thy light fhall we fee light," was sweet and seasonable to my foul. On Tuesday laft I met with fome printed fcruples concerning this thanksgiving. I fought light from the Lord, and they proved no fcruples to me; only one of them had fome weight with me, which was too fcrimp dealing with the Lord, in that we were ordered to pour out prayers that day likewife, because of the great fickness now raging, and the difafter of Caledonia, and that there was not a particular day of fafting for them. This I refolved to testify against; yet when the time came, it was ftill kept out of my mind, and I was borne off it. It may be it was of God; for it is thought that fuch a faft at this time would greatly weaken the King's intereft in Scotland. N. B. Thus political views have influenced our churchmanagement all along. The evening-exercife was made that day as on Sabbaths. Next day, Dec. 1. I was obliged to go to Churnfide fair. Having come to my fifter's houfe, it was against the grain with me to go to the market-place. Seeing the multitude, I thought I could have entered in among them more boldly, if I had been to preach the gospel to them; and I went out forward into the market-place, but immediately retired into a houfe, and my father did my bufinefs. Returning that night to Dunfe, I was on Saturday taken up with bufinefs, having only fo much time left as to go to Simprin, wearied of an unfettled abode, both in refpect of its taking me off from the work of my calling, and the trouble thereof otherwife. After prayer I had very much of the divine affiftance in ftudying my fermons, with much fatisfaction; and thereafter was help ed to pour out my foul before the Lord, feeling the blowings of his Spirit; wherefore I took that occafion to mind the affair of my marriage. On the Sabbath I had the fame affistance in delivering the word. And here I find I made the following comfortable reflection, viz. The Lord is indeed good to me; bleffed be the name of the Lord; for I have now the fame freedom every way, in preaching, as when in the prefbytery of Stirling. The evening-exercife, on the question concerning the providence of God, was fweet to me and in converse after it, it was a pleasure to think and fpeak of the faints grounds of encouragement from that head, under trouble, particularly, how it is their God that guides the world; and nothing do they meet with but what comes through their Lord's fingers; how he weighs their troubles to the leaft grain, that no more falls to their fhare than they need; and how they have a covenant-right to chafifements, to the Lord's dealing with them as with fons, to be rightly educated, not as fervants, whom the mafter will not strike, but put away at the term. On the Monday, being now refolved to remove, I went to Dunfe to make ready for it. Thence on the morrow I went to Churnfide to the prefbytery, where one Mr Watfon, a north-countryman, rejected before by the prefbytery, was again brought on the field, fore against my heart, perceiving him to be a man of no manner of modefty, nor fenfe of the weight of the work but a brother, from his own private motion, had given him a text. He was appointed to deliver his difcourfe on it that day eight days, at Hutton, before three brethren, whereof I was one. At night I returned to Dunfe, where, on the morrow, the preffure I had in the prefbyterial affair forefaid, made me look to the Lord for his own helping in the cafe, and for my direction therein. And fuch matters have all along, generally, been of great weight with me; judging it always to be a moft momentous part of the minifterial charge, the admitting of men to the preaching of the gofpel. That night, being Dec. 6. I went to Simprin for good and all. On Thurfday the 7th, came the wains with the household-furniture from Dunfe, my father coming along with them on my horfe: fo that day I took up houfe with him, and Alifon Trotter my coufin-german, a fervant. The manfe being in ruins, I fettled in an old houfe in the west end end of the town, formerly belonging to Andrew Home, fometime portioner there and there I dwelt till toward the latter end of the year 1702. Things being put in fome order that night and the morrow, as I walked through the floor, seeing myself in my own houfe, I was but little affected with it, and thought that now I had it anew confirmed, That worldly things are greater in expectation than in fruition. When we were quiet, that word, Pfal. lxviii. 6. "God fetteth the folitary in families," which was once very fweet to me when at Kennet, came into my mind. On Saturday, after the morning family-worship, viz. finging, reading, and prayer, having determined to read in the Old Teftament in the morning, and in the New at night, I addreffed myself to my work for the Sabbath; and, after prayer, did with fome difficulty fall on a text, viz. Rom. i. 23.: but I had much of the divine affistance in my ftudies, and meditating thereon; fo that my falfe heart, taking occafion therefrom to be lifted up, fent me groaning to the Lord, for help against it. On the Lord's day, being the 10th, I had fignal affiftance in every part of the public work; howbeit I had feen no commentary on what I lectured: and I preached with light, life, and zeal, man's heart's fulness of all fin by nature; and fome ftrangers feemed to be affected. Coming home, I faw cause to bless the Lord, for his return to me in public ordinances ; and went immediately unto my clofet, to fecret prayer: the which, fince that time all along unto this day, hath been my ordinary practice. After fupper, I spent the time till the evening-exercife, in meditation and prayer, with fpecial refpect to my not finding on my own heart fuch impreffions of my own vilenefs as I ought to have had yet so much of it I did fee, as obliged me to say. "It is of the Lord's mercies that I am "not confumed." Moreover I found caufe of thankfulness, that I was in fome concern that the devil might not pick up the feed fown. In the evening-exercise I again found the deceitfulness of my heart, fo as it immediately after fent me unto God, groaning under my mifmanagements. I have frequently obferved, that as foon as I have begun to complain to the Lord of my fpending my ftrength in vain, I have been made to lay my hands on my mouth, confidering how Chrift himself fpends more invitations, &c. for nought and what is vile I, that 1 fhould be difcouraged on that account? Many times I : |